newbie

Bippy625
Bippy625 Member Posts: 890
edited June 2015 in IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)

Well, I don't even know how to say it.

Freakin, f&$)in lymphedema has arrived. Another wonderful first, my first flare.

I have an appt. coincidentally, with a CLT this week. Fun times. I was just gonna get a sleeve for flight and now. All the signs are here, slow swelling, rings are tight, feels odd and heavy. So now, on to massages, wrappings, whatever other new tortures await me.

I cannot even tell any of my friends, because I do not feel like explaining the potential horrors of this particular gem, or, being what they think is consoling. They just will never understand. I love them but...how to explain? I do not want to be talked down from my ledge, or handled. I am jealous of their carefree normal lives, like my own used to be not even a year ago. I'm so sick of all of this. So I quit being honest with most of them awhile ago.

So the mutilated, burnt, damaged freak (me) now can add potentially debilitating swollen horrors to my list of physical deformities. That will never go away!!!! Great way to start a new week!

I am sorry to be so down but honestly, enough already. Isn't it bad enough that we have to all live under a cloud of stage 4 forever?

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • kittysister
    kittysister Member Posts: 212
    edited May 2015

    Bippy, I'm so sorry. I long for the carefree days too, when I wasn't constantly thinking about this stupid rotten disease. I wish we all could magically go back to our better days. I'd even love to have my real smile back. You don't have to apologize.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Bippy625
    Bippy625 Member Posts: 890
    edited May 2015

    thanks kitty.

    I see we were dxd about the same time last year. I hope you are doing well. Are you done yet with infusions? I have about 3 herceptins to go.

    Well, i finally got a live human at the lymphedema tx center at hospital. She promises to get me in asap, after she gets with the therapist.

    It is a new day, so i should get back my old can do attitude. It gets increasingly more difficult, but one thing i never want to turn into is debbie downer! So for spite i decide to be happy today. :).

    FU cancer!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • kittysister
    kittysister Member Posts: 212
    edited June 2015

    Sorry I'm just now replying, Bippy. I wasn't ignoring. I tend to forget which boards and threads I have posted on ... and there are so many. I jump around all over the place. I didn't do infusions. They did rads and hormonal therapy after my lumpectomy. I hope you are feeling better. I'm a downer sometimes too and truth be known, I think a lot of us are because of what we've been through.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories