Stupid comments ....

Cheryl- partying in your honor tonight!

Not a real party, I have bronchitis. But I am filled with gratitude for your news

Hi Jazzy, I traded my older Malibu for a '14 Cruze. I love it!

Thank You everyone for all the good wishes, like you I pray it lasts for a very long time! Hugs, Cheryl

So my sister called a few months ago and asked "so you are doing chemo, why, do you still have cancer? You had a mastectomy, didn't they get it all. I though you said they did, so why do you need chemo" I answered the question and got very upset with her..she wouldn't stop, so I told her i don't like questions like that, it makes you start thinking things... So just the day before yesterday she calls which was the day before I went in for reconstruction and she starts asking about the surgery. Asked what kind of implants..I told her silicone...they she started "aren't those not any good, weren't they supposed to stop using them... so again I answered that they are now okay...'how do you know" just what I need before sugery. I told her if my PS thought they were okay I trust him. Then she asked the " are you getting tested for cancer" I told her I am not answering that, "how do they test you then" "how do you know' I AM NOT ANSWERING THAT QUESTION, IT BOTHERS ME, GO SEARCH YOU QUESTION ON THE INTERNET.

Some people!

jazzygirl thanks! I had my reconstruction yesterday! All went well. Back to PS today for followup. MX reconstuction doesn't really hurt that much. Its the lift and reduction on the good boob that hurts.... verysore. Using my pain meds!

thanks jazzygirl

Beach Bum,

I'm so glad that the news is so good! And I totally get what you mean about eyelashes -- my new, good MO said eyelashes start to grow back and then fall out several times before they decide to stay. And, I understand the big toe nail thing: mine look like fish scales. I'm hoping they will eventually grow enough so I can start cutting of some the scales.

I am thoroughly pissed off about all the sh!t that comes with BC. I felt a hell of lot better physically the day I was told I had IBC than I do now. Still, I'm slowly getting through the havoc of cancer -- I know you'll keep fighting that havoc and I'll keep cheering for you.

bride

Bride, I am happy dancing like crazy for you, it's not cancer!!!! Funny how we get so excited that its not, that we worry about what it is later I wanted to send you some happy flowers, but one bouquet is not enough, I sent the whole flower bed!

yea Bride!!!!!!!

Thinkingpositive.....your post just goes to show me that the people around us might not mean to be mean, they just don't know what to say or do sometimes. I don't mind when people ask me a million questions, shows that at least they are interested. It must be hard dealing with a cancer patient and not knowing what to say so you don't offend them, because people get upset at different things. So from now on I'm not going to take offense lol.

Questions with judgments and opinions to go with them were the issue for me. Not the questions about what was happening and when, so people could offer support to assistance otherwise. I do believe most people mean no harm, but some people feel in the process of you sharing about you that they need to project what they think or feel they would do in the situation. How are you doing translated into here is what they would do. Those were the people I had to say "not helpful!"

That experience really helped me when supporting another recently through her cancer treatment. Different kind of cancer and treatment plan, but I understood the process. She knew I had gone through bc treatment a few years ago. Yet, I was careful to not ask too many questions, even with having gone through it, because I knew what that felt like on the other end. I had to ask myself "is this going to help this person or is it just for my own information?" She just finished treatment this week (yay!) and in a few weeks when she is up for an outing, we are going out to have breakfast to celebrate at one of her favorite places!

Going through cancer treatment is overwhelming. Our job going through it is to not let anyone make that harder for us or to create more stress for others if we are supporting them.

For me, there were two types of people who wanted to talk about my cancer. The ones who cared, genuinely, about what I was going through, how I was handling it, and what is breast cancer all about. THEN there were people who were just nosy about the gruesome details and wanted to know if I was going to die of breast cancer. One woman wanted to know if any of my radiation techs were men. "Did they get it all," and "what's the prognosis" rank in the nosy (and very rude) category.

I had a co-worker (another RN), when I told her that I was diagnosed with cancer ask with genuine surprise ... "well I thought they had gotten it all already the first time and that you were all done." The first one was the stereotactic biopsy and I had told her that they had taken core samples. I just looked at her and said ummm nope.

Tempy- I had the same thing with my core biopsy. My IDC was really small (0.4 mm). The breast center was worried they might not actually be able to get enough sample, but they are an outstanding center that is nationally known. Everyone was just so good to me going through that.

But like you, when I told a few folks about the biopsy, they were like "didn't they just take all that out and that is that?" Those are the people that don't want to understand, they just want to get on with whatever they want to talk about.

Larkspur- that is funny!

Sbelizabeth- I agree, the ones who care and then others who are nosy, looking for info to gossip about, etc. You cannot make people care about you, that is for darned sure.

I always think about what is being said and how it is being said. There is a lot of merit in paying attention to people's tone.

bump