Starting Chemo January 2015

I was just going to echo what everyone said Sweethope. I'm sure DH knows that it's all related to stress. Personally, I think the days that are supposed to be celebratory are harder than regular days. This month I had my anniversary, will have my birthday and had Mother's Day. I would rather forget all of them and postpone them until August. It all just kind of makes me ticked off.

I hope your day went better today and your rad simulation went OK.

brandi999 - wishing you all the best with surgery tomorrow! I hope your shoulder is improving too

Good afternoon Ladies, I just wanted to give a little update. I had the results from my whole body scan and CT today, and I get the whole summer off from treatment!! I go back in September to rescan and see if my 4 month vacation was a good thing. For me mentally and physically it is a great thing. I so need the break since I started this party 11 months ago. The nodes in my abdomen are now gone, and the lung node has shrunk. The rads may have finished it off! Nice side effect there. So things are looking up for me. I was accepted into the LiveStrong program at the Y, and I started today. I hope to drop my chemo fat. And get back in shape. Another great thing.

For those at the end of chemo, or doing rads just hang in there. It is so tough, but you got this. I did it, and I must say it feels great to be at this point. I still have some fatigue, and my eyelashes are falling out again, Thank You Taxol, but all in all I can't complain too much. But I know that I wouldn't have done so well without each and everyone one of you. Your support, thoughts, and tricks and tips were awesome. I can't tell you how much all of you mean to me. I hope you are all over the finish line soon!! Hugs, Cheryl

P.S. I guess my cancer killing butt stomping boots worked! And my tiara has super powers!

Rads ladies, this was my last day at 33 rads. I walked out in my blinged out tiara, with my diploma, and carrying 33 long stemmed roses. Big finish!

SweetHope, I hope today is a much better day for you. I am sorry to hear about the poor week you had. You need a hug. I know exactly what you mean about the moods. I am generally a forgiving and simple person too but sometimes things that people do just make me irritated and edgy. Today I had pulled into a parking space at the store and some lady pulled in right next to me before I could get out of my car. She parked very close so I couldn't open my door. I waited for her to back up and re adjust her car. She didnt. She shut her car off. I rolled down my window and knocked with my knuckles on the front fender of her car and motioned that I can't get out of my car. She then started her car and readjusted how she parked so I could get out. She did apologize but I couldn't help but think if you can't drive the car then get one you can drive. It was just a weird experience.

I hope everyone had a good mother's day. Mine seemed to go by too quickly. My mom passed last year so the only one I have left is my grandmother on my dad's side. So I went to see her for a while. Then went out to dinner with my BFF and her family. It was nice but the food still doesn't taste right. I will be glad when that comes back.

I have a total of 4 more chemo treatments counting tomorrows. I am growing some hair. My head has white peach fuzz all over it. I don't know if it will come in all gray, or white because right now it looks white.

Take care ladies

Beachbum, I am in tears. It is so wonderful to read that you are having such a good response to chemo and rads. You are so special to us here. I wish I had a fireworks video to add to this. Yahoo!

Brandi, enjoy the anesthesia tomorrow. It's the best thing about all this crap...a lovely nap! Please let us know how you are doing when you can.

Wendy, 1/2 way...Yeah!

Mommacat, hope tomorrow's day in the chair goes well with no SE's. I spent a lot of Mother's Day thinking of my Mom. She lived to 94 (had MX around age 87). We enjoyed spoiling her. And she is missed.

Jlstacey, I don't know where I heard it, but wearing a sleep mask, blocking out all light, makes your body produce more melatonin. I found one that stands away from the eyes making it very comfortable. I just started wearing it last night, and truthfully the mask takes some getting use to. I still woke up once during the night, but I did sleep in this morning...very unusual...I normally am up before 5 am.

BeachBum!!! I am so damn happy for you!!! I love your tiara too!! I hope to join you on this summer break!! My Masectomy with reconstruction was cancelled due to my recent infection. I am now getting Lumpectomy May 22 with MX and reconstruction in September. Summer to recuperate!!

Spookisgirl- glad your dancing!! You are amazing and I am happy to hear on the downside of chemo!!

I wanted to write more but I am exhausted.

I just realized I am having surgery Memorial Weekend. Oh well at least my DH will be off work to help the weekend plus Monday.

Goodnight All!

PMR53

Oh! I saw the link I posted didn't 'stick' let me try this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVxon65u3tA

It's a song that is keeping me dancing, that I am sure you can relate to!!

Jenn

Jenn, the song is inspiring.

PMR - I am glad that you have the summer to get well and healed before the reconstruction. A break from the white coats can't be bad either. It does get old. I just hope to feel like my old self. I was so excited to see tan lines on my sandal feet. Oh the small things!

jlstacey, you have fuzzy hair growing back? Good for you. I took Biotin right after the end of Taxol and I have super thick wavy hair and already had a haircut. I finished 11/25, so I hope yours grows back just as fast. My eye lashes grew back quick too, but they are falling out again. I asked my chemo nurse and she said sometimes they do drop 2 or 3 times before they stay. My fingernails are all back and look normal, but they are very hard. But they stopped growing. Lots of oil and buffing right now.

Sounds like the Taxol is easier for you, and I hope it stays that way. Sleeping any better? I can't fall asleep even though I am tired. I have been going to bed about 2 or 3 am, then sleeping until 10ish. Very annoying. But I am on a med reduction plan, self directed of course, so I don't want to add anything. But bourbon works, thank you Kentucky

jlstacey, I had DD Taxol so I am sure it is different, but the fatigue was rough and still is. Rads really whipped me into the fatigue zone. But chemo is cumulative so sleep as much as you can until it is over. I would get a red face with the hot sun feeling the day after but it usually was gone in 24 hours. Most days I have a lot of energy, but it does shut down quickly in the late evening. But I still have issues falling asleep. Weird, dead tired but can't sleep but I do sleep 8 to 10 hours when I get to sleep. I guess I should give up trying to figure it out, it seems it is always something with BC!

I take Biotin for my hair and it is growing back very thick, wavy, and soft. I had my first haircut two weeks ago and I was surprised to see how much had to be cut off to make it look good. We suffer through the hair loss, not wanting it to be shaved, then have anxiety trying to watch it grow back. But it does! I use gentle baby shampoo and conditioner now. I hope your hair grows like crazy!

spookisgirl, sorry you are having a rough go today. Let's hope you get done and are headed out soon. The highs feel so good that the crash is never good. Find your balance, you got this! At least you know and can try to keep it even. Take Care, Cheryl

I'm glad you get to go on your riding trip! That's less than a,week away- I bet you are so excited!

I feel the need to find a way to contribute to the family financially and I just don't have the energy to do it. I also have gardening projects that need to get done but between the constant rain here and my fatigue it isn't happening. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with not getting anything done these days. I see other people working and being productive and I just can't focus well and don't have energy.

Jlstacey and Dstar, I am still on Taxol. I am supposed to have 3 more treatments to go. My treatment day is Wednesdays however last week my oncologist and I discussed the neurapothy issue and decided that if it becomes worse I will hold off next week's treatment. Thursday I was ok then on Friday when I woke up I noticed my right hand was plagued with numbness. I called my dr but decided to wait until Monday to make any rash decisions. Well, today (Sunday) the neurapothy had spread to my left hand as well. Granted it's not as bad in my hands as in my feet but I think I am still going to hold off on Wednesday's treatment. I don't want this neurapothy to become perminant. My dr said as it is, it could take up to 5 years or so before it completely goes away and there is no guarantee that it WILL COMPLETELY go away.

I completely understand about being tired but can't sleep. And the mood swings but the fatigue is still one of the biggest battles. Well, that and the constipation And bloating. There are just too many side effects to remember them all when someone asks. I mean I have been on chemo in general since January. At this point I just take the necessary medicine to try to control the current issue at hand and don't worry about the rest until they become the issue at hand. I know it sounds horrible but I can't be thinking about nausea when my feet hurt so bad I can't walk. I just take something for the nausea and move on to the next side effect.

Why are we putting ourselves through all of this? That's a rhetorical question. I look at any of my kids and I know the answer. My oldest just graduated (Thursday) from college with her Bachelor degree in criminal justice and criminology and a minor in communications. I am so proud of her. she is 22 years old. I only hope she lands a job with the police department special unit that her internship was with.

Beachbum, Brandi999, SweetHope, how are you feeling? Everyone else, keep in touch here. I know it's tough when everyone is trying to recover, some from chemo, some from surgery. I pray for all my bc sisters. Have a good night everyone.

Jlstacey, please don't beat yourself up any more with expectations of keeping up with normal activities. Listen to your body and rest. Gardening is difficult. I am painting a ya-ya chair. It is a great escape from the stress of all this.

Cat, your neuropathy is scary. I did not know it could take 5 years to recover.

It is a difficult decision to stop chemo. But the SE's continue or even appear after treatment...letting us know that it was the right thing to discontinue. Our bodies tell us if we have had enough. But our minds insist we stay strong and fight, no matter what. It is so perplexing because the end result is unknown...will the cancer come back? You will make the right decision with the help and expertise of your MO.

FYI: It is now four weeks since I stopped Taxol, but the SE's are still building inside me. Doing normal tasks in the morning leads to afternoon struggles to do anything. It is hard to describe but my torso muscles constrict. These 'body seizures' are getting worse, not better. And I have had several bouts with edema which makes my skin so sensitive and it feel like it is going to pop. I just want to jump in a pool and work through all of this, but I start Rads on Wednesday, so no swimming this summer.

Love hearing about your kids. Congratulations to you on raising an eighth grader while going through this!