Single life after a mastectomy
Comments
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E - oh gosh I am so sorry about your sister. It's frustrating for sure. 9 chemo after her previous chemo...the doc should have done the biopsy before hand. I don't know what else to say....but I share your frustration.
Jazzy - I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.
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BB, life - I've never been married so I can only imagine what kind of hell you guys been through. In my 30s all I wanted was to get married and now after reading a lot of ups and downs in other ppls marriage I think may be marriage is not for me this life time.
Not going to lie...my friend and I sometimes talk about being married. Someone to share our lives our frustration our happiness and the expenses. She's young so it will happen to her but I know I am probably gonna be alone for the rest of my life. I try to have a positive outlook in life but sometimes I can't help feeling the anger inside me that God is not love. Just venting not meaning to discuss religion....
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June - You can be married and still completely alone. It seems the truly beautiful marriages are very rare. But you still have time to meet the right person. :-)
When I was at the courthouse a week ago, there was a man sitting there. By the way, the courthouse smells like a hospital, and it feels as if we're all patients there, just going through divorces instead of cancer treatment.
Anyway, this one man was sitting there, looking depressed. And I must've looked like someone he could talk to. Because he looked at me and said, "I'll never get married again. I didn't marry until my mid-50's, and already I'm getting divorced. It didn't even last a year." I felt so bad for him.
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Life- I think sometimes people marry late thinking they will be more settled in life, and sometimes it does not work out then either. That man sounded devastated. And the courthouse smelling like a hospital, wow. Parallel universe.
June- I am a big fan of Gloria Steinham and liked what she said about getting married later in life. She said "I wanted someone in my corner." The partner, the confidant, the who can give you a reprieve when life gets hard.
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Milky you really are better off without him and your children too. Its great they are crying as grief is far better out than in.....please focus on getting legal and financial protection, if your ex wants to re marry you have great leverage in negotiating but hold firm til you get what you need for you and your family.
Enerva so sorry about all your stresses, I look at other people with cancer and even terminal diagnoses and and amazed at how passive they are........and thank you, some days i do feel really on the edge.....
Take care everyone, have a good weekend....
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Wishing all the moms here (and those with moms too, here or on the other side) a lovely Mothers Day holiday weekend.
I completed my final personal training session today with the trainer I began working with last Sept. She has taken me far with my fitness and I feel very strong again, and sort of feel like I "graduated" today, but also have more work to do. My continued challenge is
The work in DC is not going to be a good fit. Although I was contacted about a project management role, in reality, they really wanted a process expert. I told them that was not my expertise, and heard today that is a must have, so we continue on looking for the right thing. I am not disappointed, I am glad I found out within a few days this one is not a good fit vs. getting dragged along for a month. I am getting better at listening, following up and moving on if needed. I will say I have had my fair share of BS around some of these things I get contacted about though. Such is the nature of self employment sometimes.
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just finished watching 50 shades of grey......i have to say those acts in the movies didn't even cover the surface of what BDSM is. not that i know what it is but those in the film was just mellow...i just think the young girl was easily impressed which was natural.
when i was doing online, i had a couple of guys approached me wanting me to participate. not me....don't even want to be bothered. one guy even offered to come clean my apt....i dared not asking if i need to whip him as a token of appreciation...lol
when i saw the girl naked....i felt i want my breast back.
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BB- good luck with the dating web site and hope you have a nice time with the musician. You should call him Zeus!
June- I saw that 50 Shades was on rental. I never read the book, did you? By the way, rent The Immigrant. It was really good.
I had a realization today about the fact I have people approaching me about work opps that they don't understand and that they also really don't understand what I do. So no more square-peg-in-a-round-hole game for me, which means no more talking to recruiters. I am pushing forward to get in front of the high level people I want to be working for and whom are likely to hire me. I already have two things in motion on this (things I have also been working on for awhile). This girl is going to get what she wants and deserves!
Enerva- are you done with work for the week and do you have next week off? Any ideas about a place you might go to get away? I think a trip somewhere warm would be good for the soul, if you can do it. Even a little spa weekend somewhere would be divine.
Life, Milky, Lilly, Melp, Kasa and everyone else here, wishing you a good weekend.
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jazzy - no didn't read the book. it's more of a soft porn, good looking actors sans the unnecessary moaning...lol....beautify the BDSM...but i have to say the scenes in the apt are gorgeous. seattle is my first stop in the US. i always think of her fondly as my hometown...
i saw the immigrant....it's on netflix. i like the plot but it's bit too heavy for me to re-watch. i have a habit rewatching the same movie again and again.
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btw, just had my bi-annual appt w my BS. told her about my edema and hyperthyroid hence the no tamoxifen......then she joked that i had a lot of issues....you think??!!
and she insisted that i have a MRI and talk to my MO about stopping my ovaries from working. even after i told her i don't have periods anymore.
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June- we all have a lot of things going on now, care of bc treatment. Chemo throws women into a lot of other conditions from diabetes to osteoporosis. Thanks pharma industry.
Did they talk to you about trying the aromatase inhibitors? They give you these only when they are sure you are menopausal which you may not be yet (usually declared after a year of no bleeding).
What does she want you to have the MRI on. The other breast? Or is there something else she is concerned about? They are so darned expensive.
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she wanted me to do the MRI bc i rejected chemo.....sigh. honestly i don't feel like it.
i am taking DIM and as far as i've heard...i won't have period. which means DIM works without giving me the edema. i am going to ask my MO to keep an eye on my hormone level before chopping off my ovaries....i just turned 43 so i am pretty sure i am not menopausal yet biologically. i had some hot flashes at the beginning of tamoxifen and later on it stopped. and not all estrogen are bad...only one or two....
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June- the imaging center kept pushing on MRIs for me because of scar tissue, but my BS said she did not see a reason for it. She left it up to me and I said no last summer when it came up. My deductible is $3K annually and guess what, the MRI is that much or more. The whole thing gets crazy after awhile.
Definately don't let anyone push you into that surgery. Western medicine is too cavalier about this stuff.
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Jazzy - Happy Mother's Day to you, too, and to everyone here - who is a mother, has a mother, or has ever mothered. That would be all of us. LOL.
BB - Good luck with the dating site.
June - I was given the same talk about shutting down my ovaries, even though my periods stopped during chemo when I was 46. Like you, I didn't want to lose more body parts. But then one ovary had to go because it nearly killed me (long story). I waited and waited before finally surrendering the other one (due to risk of ovarian cancer), but by then I was 48. I hope your onc can help you with whatever issues you're having without too much surgery.
Milky, Enerva, Lily - I hope all is well.
Have a nice weekend, everyone. :-)
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i was told eisk of removing the ovaries greater than risk they would get cancer and that the risks from surgery endanger me more, i think from the stress surgery creates too
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BB - wear some make up and do some selfies under the sun. And use the filter on Instagram which does wonders.
I think I am done with the hormone blockers....it's not living in my book. Why I am taking those drugs feeling miserable just so I am alive. It's not living life....
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June- don't blame you at all. Many women here opt out of the drugs because they have such hard and long term effects. Western medicine thinks less about quality of life than extending it indefinately. I am in the quality of life camp with you.
I a bit less than 3 years to go on them. If they try to push for another 5 (some MOs are saying 10 years may be the future protocol), I will say no. I will have no bones left.
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hi, ok so here I am relying on chapter 4 I am so behind on this book I need to push myself. It's hard to concentrate.
I finally got a copy of my acomodación so I won't do the night extra on call hours but my list of task has triple the size every day I am given more and more defenetly feel I am been target now.
Anyway June I was also approach regarding my ovaries but after my generic test was negative they left me alone. I never had a problem with my ovaries in the past till chemo. I had a scare Las Dec getting two periods but then ultrasound showed I had a cyst and it went away. I then didn't get a p in Jan, Feb then March, April the hot flashes stop and my period came back so now I don't really know what to think. I am turning 42 this year and I am not sure if menopause is coming now or what?. One thing I am OK having my period back I rather that than the hot flashes. I could not sleep it was brutal.
Jazz I got lots of tissue scars specially in my rad Brest intact the breathing not normal due to it. I wonder why would they need to do MRI FOR SCARS I never heard about it I thought the tissue scars re just dead skin I am such an ignorant it is scary cuz it's very bad it feels like as hard as a rock which is similar to how my tumor was.
Anyway I am tire butbi must keep on reading for the exam. I will be off not this week but the next one.along wuthvthe long weekend. Keeping my eye for vacation packages lol wish to go to a place called occidental grand cozumel resort. But it's very expensive.
Here is a picture I saw on the Internet from that resort
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Enerva- that is you and some hottie guy in Cacun!
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ha ha ha I wish lol I also found our today that there are horses with curly hair hahahahhaha omg I love horses so much I don't know why. I hope I get to enjoy having one in this life but it's just another dream.
Look at these curly hair horses bb
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Those words "breast cancer" really threw us into the position of making decisions very quickly. I try not to rethink the decisions I made because what's done is done.
Right after diagnosis, I spoke with two aunts, both of whom were 12-year BC survivors at the time. One "hit it hard with everything," including chemo and anti-estrogen, and had recon, too. The other had MX but refused treatment and recon. Each was happy with her decision. I looked at my own pathology report and decided I needed to fight it with everything. My youngest was only 9 years old at the time, and some of my relatives were taken by cancer when their children were young. My onc said, "If you hit it hard with everything, then if it comes back, at least you'll know you did everything possible." There are no guarantees, of course.
E - I hope you're able to arrange a much-needed vacation for yourself. Good luck with the exam! And, no, I didn't know there were horses with curly manes, either.
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Life- you are so right about not re-visiting our decisions. I think with anything in we do in life, the decisions we make are made with in the context of our lives at that moment. I remember a friend from another time in my life once said "we make the best decisions we can at the time with what we know at that moment." Your boys certainly want there mom around for a long time.
Is your older son doing his finals now or is he done for the year?
Enerva- do you love horses? That one is cute. I used to ride a lot as a kid. I did barrel racing too. Whenever I see horses walking on the paths down by the river, I stop to visit with them. Here are some pics from last fall when I made a few horsey friends.
It is a cold day here today with highs in the 40s to 50s. I may find some fleece and walk before the day is done. Tomorrow is gym day.
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Jazz send pictures I love horses I took English riding clases only 8 and loved it. But it's expensive so I haven't gone back to it. I ll try again maybe this summer lol I love horses I am crazy about them but I have respect for them so I am even a bit afraid or intimidated by them I love to see them and will love to have one but it's a dream lol I bought books and even have a painting in my bedroom also bought some leather belts for a large horse lol one day passing by a place which was having a closing down sale all horse stuff. I see it hanging in my closet and think Wth was I thinking? Lol I had one horse back home and he let me ride him but without sadle he past away like everything I ever loved but here is a picture of him and me hahahahhaha I was 25
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He was back home and I saw him once a year I loved him. My brother gave him to me I would sleep in a Hamak out side and he would push me till I could get up hahahahhaha I treated him more like a dog lol
I ll never forget him.
My Denver girlfriend says I should look to date a man from Texas or new Mexico lol she says there are ranch guys there.
Jazz do u see many ranch single guys around lol
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jazzy - wow that's kind of cold in may. normally what is the weather like for may?...saw your siggie i am two months behind you. i was doing really well in tamoxifen until i got the edema in march.
life - thanks for telling me about your two aunts...something to think about. i am so sick of C...want to put it behind me.
E - love the curly-haired horse pic....so cute. so have you decided to go somewhere?
BB - instagram is an app, you can download it and create an account. if you want set it private so no one can see your pix.
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That is a fabulous photo of you with the horse, E! I think you love that horse and he loved you. What is/was the horse's name?
Yes, we have lots of ranch guys and cowboys here. You see them less in the city, but you get to the more rural parts and they are everywhere. The wild west is alive and well out here. You can find a real cowboy out here if you are wanting one!
These are the horses I ran into last year. I chatted with this woman and the horses are Morgans. They were beautiful.
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E- since you loved horses, you have to watch this video. I saw it recently on FB and found it on You Tube.
I like how the woman said it was the best day of her life. Be ready for a big daily dose of cuteness.
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omg thanks I ll watch now lol my horse name was Rey which translate to king lol
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oh lol nice video
This horse looks like me lollol specially in the mornings
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E - I hope you meet a nice, handsome rancher. :-)
Jazzy - My eldest did very well this year, and now he's home for the summer, just looking for summer work.
Beautiful photos on the thread today. :-) I always admired horses from a distance. I tried riding once when I was 20-something. They put me on a very young horse that was already bucking while tied to the fence. There was no way I was staying on that horse... I had to demand an old mare. lol
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We had neighbors who had a small horse ranch, and my sister and I took riding lessons growing up. I rode from the time I was about 9 to 12, but got hurt on a trail ride so my parents said that was that, no more horse back riding. When I got older, I used to find ways to go trail riding. Last time I rode a horse was along the beach in Costa Rica in 2005. Now that was fun!
My best horse story was a week my sister and I did to a dude ranch in Wyoming. Someone I was working with at the time recommended ithis place, and we went and it was one of the best vacations I have ever had. We would do morning and afternoon rides, took a day off to do Yellowstone, and the best was an all day ride where we went way up into the high meadows to ride there. I had a spunky paint horse named Brutus who they told me was "a fence jumper." He was something else.
Enerva- maybe this would be a good vacation for you to do?
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