Stupid comments ....
Comments
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That's why Facebook has an option to unfriend people. I have had to do it myself.
You don't need her. Toxic people be gone!
JJ
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I've been catching up on this thread -- always so hilarious and sad (but still hilarious).
Latest stupid comment: nurse who's flipping through my chart mentions that it's been a while since I've had a mammogram. "That's because I had a mastectomy." One and done!
I thought you gals would appreciate these greeting cards made by someone who gets it -- they are AMAZING.
http://www.upworthy.com/8-nontraditional-empathy-c...
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Oh those cards are great!!!!!!
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"No reconstruction?! Your poor husband!"
"My husband completely agrees with my decision."
" Well....you think that now! What if he leaves you, and you can't get a new man? Better have the reconstruction, dear!"
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Mommy...who was that awful person? Hopefully not someone you have to be around. We're not giving prizes for the most awful comment, but this one is up there in the top 4-5. So sorry that you had to endure that!
The cards are great.....they are what we all want/should say to our dear ones. Thanks for sharing.
MsP
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Holey moley...the things people say...! It makes me wonder what I said to friends and family with cancer diagnoses, before I truly understood! Lord forgive me for the many times I stepped in it.
"Harboring resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other guy to die." Forgiveness...let it go...release toxic people...whatever you call it, our hearts shouldn't be poisoned with bitterness.
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Oh, Mommy2Six -- that is outrageous!!! HER poor husband...
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Mommie
OH NO SHE DIDN'T...no fu*cking way. You must have dreamt it.
sbelizabeth
"Harboring resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other guy to die" lovely. I am going to have that tattoo so I can remember it daily.
LAstar Are those cards real? I mean can I buy them? They all sound like something I would write. I luv it
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Thanks everyone...just one more reason why I love this board because I knew ya'll would get it. I find it mostly hurtful that she disappeared on me like that, I didn't mention before but I've known her since we were in high school freshmen. We have a lot of history and it just sucks, but I am going to let it go.
I LOVE the cards!
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" Well....you think that now! What if he leaves you, and you can't get a new man? Better have the reconstruction, dear!"
Wow. Just... wow.
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Yes, the cards are real -- hallelujah! There are lots of other fun items on her store as well: http://emilymcdowell.com/collections/empathy-cards...
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I agree, things on this thread make me laugh and then want to cry at the same time. Who in the hell says that to someone? Get some new boobs so a man will want you??
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Man, do I hate the "how are you" question. What do people want to hear? Surely not "well, I have diarrhea three times a day and my nose is constantly bloody and I have a constant low-level fear of death. but otherwise I'm great!" So yeah, I just smile and say I'm doing okay. I sure won't ever ask another chronically ill person in my life how they're feeling, though. You really don't understand how annoying that is until you live it.
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Yes, this is a hilarious albeit sad thread...and RaiderGirl started it all!
Woot! Woot!
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Molly...This is why other people think BC is a walk in the park, because we all can't be bothered to say how we are, and just say "I'm fine" when asked.
Because when you tell them how you REALLY feel, the response is always shite like:
"Think of the alternative" (my MO when I was telling her about side effects)
"You got through it didn't you?" (My breast surgeon when I told him I feared recurrence, and don't think I could go through treatment again)
"Don't be so negative" ; "Be more grateful" ; "Count your blessings"; "It could be worse" (The Positivity Police)
"Oh I was nauseous too when I was pregnant" (everybody who was nauseated when they were pregnant)
"Oh we all have aches and pains" (when I say that 18 months later I still have pain from the mastectomy, and I fear it might be a recurrence)
"I'm tired all the time too, you're lucky you get to stay home and sleep it off " (chemo days)
"You need to stop wallowing in it and move on" (re my post-treatment PTSD)
The one that really surprised me was an inlaw who had BC 15 years ago. When I was first diagnosed, I called her, very apprehensive, to ask her what I could expect from chemo, rads etc. She told me that she "didn't remember" what it was like, and that all she knew was that she had young children at the time, so she couldn't afford to "lie around" and "give in to it", she had to get up and do stuff. Another relative was amazed at her response, she says she remembers that the person had been devastated, bawling all the time.Thanks for the support, fellow BC sister !!!!!
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Think of the alernative....I do and I am eternally grateful that I do not have stage 4 lung cancer like my DH friend died from, or the emphysema my mother died from...but this still sure KS
Negative, wallowing, I am not...I am scared our of my mind.
The one I got today in the Hallmark store...the clerk knows me...she said "Look on the bright side...you get a longer summer vacation!"...I said "Do you want to trade places?" Complete silence as I walked out of the store...I am never going back😈
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Or..."At least you have insurance" "You teachers have lots of sick days"....My DH spent 30 years in the Army...our health care has been earned....I teach behaviorally challenging 6th graders because I make a difference in their lives, I go e them security, and I love my job....AND it took me 10 years to save 65 sick days and I only have 10 left.
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Jilly, You're all welcome.Molly1976- We always say what we feel on this forum. There is no filter needed. So please accept this pose not as a dismissing what you feel. I feel bad when someone doesn't ask how I am. Its like there is an elephant in the room that no one will to mention. I would feel hurt if a friend is telling me about her vacation and what not and no mention at all of my cancer. So for me, a question of how are you is appreciated but I don't tell the truth I just say I doing ok, thank you for asking. Anyway that's my feeling about "the question".
tigh I am still stinging on the reply that breast cancer is the best cancer to have. Here is the clincher, this person is so kind, so considerate. She must really believe that....so sad.
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LAstar, the cards are fantastic. I'm going to order some. The prices are better than lots you find in stores, and they are SO much better.
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I just checked the website for the cards. If you order any six, you get a 25% discount.
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I ordered some too! $3.33 per card when you order 6. I love that she calls them "empathy cards" -- who can't use a little dose of empathy when thinks get tough? I also ordered one for my husband that says "There is nobody else I'd rather lie in bed and look at my phone next to" because that is stinking hilarious!!!
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RaiderGirl, I get it, for sure! And I've noticed that certain people (mother-in-law, random coworkers I never even talked to before diagnosis but now want to know everything that's going on) asking me The Question bothers me more than others.
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I went to a fundraiser for Endometriosis; currently my head is shaved but shiny bald on one side from radiation. (think one half is like Ming the Merciless with GI Jane on the other).I don't wear scarves. So I look worse than I'm actually feeling right now but anyway...
One of the women there to talk about Endo said to me she wished she had cancer because that way she'd be taken seriously...told her I'd swap terminal cancer for endo right there if I could and she flounced off in a huff...
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Blonde Doris, all I can say is wow! And you get kudos for challenging her to a swap. What an insensitive moron.
MsP
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Blonde Doris....that comment definitely takes the dumba** award. Stay strong;)
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blondedoris, if she really wants cancer, she can have my Stage IV, and the sooner the better. Just let her know, there AIN'T NO 5! Does she still want it?
I am so sorry that she would say something so offensive to you.
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My brother sent me a text and asked me to bring all of the family pictures when I go down home Thursday. I told him I was doing ok, and I wasn't having a funeral since I donated my body to the Cleveland Clinic. Then he said that they are making a slide show for my Mother for her funeral. WTH? She is alive and living in a nursing home. Who does that? I can't wait to get my scan results back on the 12th, heaven only knows what they might plan.
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Beachbum, time to send your brother a lot of photos of you flipping him off. Gah! Seriously messed up!
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I saw those cards earlier today & was going to post them if no one else did.
I didn't read the few cards I got. I also told very few people what I was going thru. I just left my co-workers guessing for the longest time.
I have become numb to greeting cards, particularly sympathy cards. Having received the most evil one from my MIL following the death of our newborn daughter several years back. It of course mentioned that God did not want us to have children & that is why my dtr died(the bitch(MIL) isn't even religious). Also something about how it upset my FIL terribly & he refused to carry the laundry down stairs for her. No one on my husband's side of the family knows of my BC. They live 2000miles away, wish it were further. So that's the best I can do as far as purging them out of my life.
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Coral - that's hideous! I'm so sorry she did that to you...just wow... {hugs}
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