Starting Chemo January 2015

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  • Beachbum1023
    Beachbum1023 Member Posts: 1,417
    edited May 2015

    Hello everyone! This has been the roller coaster thread lately. My current update, I had a CT on Friday and I am waiting for the results as I see the MO on the 12th. I have a full body scan tomorrow, another wait and see. I am fighting to stay out of chemo, I want this summer more than anything right now. I am pretty sure it may be the best ever, and I can't wait for another one next year. So I hope to stay away from chemo until fall.


    The good news, I had my first haircut on Friday, finally enough to trim up! I am 5 months past my last Taxol. I met another BCO friend on Sunday and we had the best time ever! We are trying to get a group going for the Cleveland area ladies. So much laughter, it really touched my soul and warmed my heart.


    I hope everyone has been doing well, and that chemo is all behind you. I'll let you know what happens. Take Care, Cheryl

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  • SweetHope
    SweetHope Member Posts: 439
    edited May 2015

    Beachbum, Hi! I've been thinking about you so much. Hope the 12th comes soon so you can get your good results and vacation the summer away. Love the idea of getting some locals together. One of my BCO buddies organized a get together at a winery in her area. And they are already planning another.

    Other Cheryl, Yes my DDIL is a dear. She amazes me with all her energy and her creativity. She manages a county recreation center designed solely for children. She plans and implements all holiday parties, birthday parties, etc. While in college she was a high-wire trapeze artist. A corn-fed, small town, middle America darling. Gheez...I miss her!

    I wish you all a great week. Now I have to get back to reading everything I can here on Radiation, to prep for tomorrow's appointment.

    XOXO, Becky

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  • LCH033
    LCH033 Member Posts: 83
    edited May 2015

    Hi Ladies; I'm just checking in; I feel like I've disappeared; the Taxoll is better however the Neuropathy has set in my feet and I hobble around allot, also numbness in my fingers. I've also had so many aches and muscle pains with this and I'm only 4 into 12 treatments. The hot flashes are going to be the death of me; now they have me on a "bad" seizure medicine that doesn't help seizures but have helped some women with hot flashes. And I've got the big D.....Oh Joy!!

    I'm also in a funk, depression like and I can't quite shake it; I get out, walk, bike ride, go to Ben's daughter's softball games and just try and help myself feel alive. I want to go hang out by the pool but know I have to be really careful with direct sunlight. We did go out to my little ranch in east Texas for the first time in months so I could see my "babies"; my horses and dogs; I miss my life. Ben weed eatted and I piddled around the barn and just took in the smells of the country.

    I think about you ladies daily; and I'm so far behind I just pray everyone is doing well.

    Sweethope, I am sorry about everything you're dealing with; Lymphodema is such a great fear of mine as thy took 16 of my lymph nodes on my left side and I still don't have feeling back from all the surgery last November. I check my arm every morning and night; and to have 5 weeks of RADS at the end after Taxol and then another reconstructive surgery this November.....I know it's something that can develop at any point in my life and it makes me paranoid.

    Brandi, I hope your surgery went well and you are nearing the end of everything and healing well.

    Tennisfan; the herceptin seems to be going well with me so I am happy about that.

    Lorie; hope you are well; I am having some swelling in my legs; retaining allot of fluid and I was told, "that's just the Taxol and unfortunately will get worse"; if it gets too bad they said they could put me on a mild diuretic. More pills...Lol

    Ben and I actually bought a kitchen wall cabinet just for the drugs and vitamins, etc....it's surreal the difference between now and this time last year; maybe that's part of the depressive feelings.

    I am blessed as I'm surrounded by so many that love and support me; I'm just exhausted!!

    Love & Hugs to All!!!

    Lara

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  • mommacat4
    mommacat4 Member Posts: 215
    edited May 2015

    JustKeepSwimming44, after the fact I think I actually like the idea of surgery first because I think my psych would have gone crazy knowing that cancer was still inside me all this time. I know that right now all my chemo and future radiation is just preventive maintenance and the actual live cancer is not still trying to grow inside me. It make more since to me at this point.

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  • jlstacey
    jlstacey Member Posts: 277
    edited May 2015

    Hello everyone, I hope you are all doing well.I'm doing pretty well- I can't complain too much.

    Brandi- I hope you are recovering nicely and with little discomfort!

    Beachbum- I hope your results come back with positive news. I love that you know you are going to have a great summer!

    Sweethope- my Kindle Fire always changes Sweethope to Sweatshops. Anyway, I hope your LE treatments are effective and helping.

    PMR- I'm so sorry about your setback. I know this must be so frustrating! I hope you are recovered enough to get your m, very soon.

    One of my friends has joined our "club". She was dx with DCIS less than a week ago. She has her consultations next week regarding lumpectomy surgery. She seems to be doing pretty well mentally.

    I'm in bed- it seems to be my modus operandus to retreat to my bed sanctuary as soon as I can-9ish. I can tick the box on another day closer to chemo being done and having surgery.


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  • Cherylfg
    Cherylfg Member Posts: 97
    edited May 2015

    Lara-Good to hear from you! I'm glad you were able to get out and visit with your "babies" a bit.

    Brandi-How are doing? I've been thinking about you.

    PMR-How are you feeling? Did they give you a new date for your MX?

    I've been having some of the "I miss my life" lately too. It is just such a long haul and I'm so tired. I mean, I'm physically tired but I'm also mentally tired. I'm tired of feeling so crappy for so long and I'm tired of seeing my kids' fear and anxiety because of my illness. I'm tired of catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror and seeing a naked face because my eyebrows and eyelashes are nearly gone. I think my hormones have gone crazy too because I'm quick to dissolve into tears and I have hot flashes every night. I'm just ready to feel better. I feel like I was so positive through my diagnosis, surgery, and the beginning of chemo. Now, at the end when I only have 4 weeks left, I'm finding it harder and harder to stay positive. I've talked about it with my MO and I know it will get better; I'm ready to be done and on break.

    Cheryl

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  • PMR53
    PMR53 Member Posts: 452
    edited May 2015

    Cheryl- Ditto what you said. I felt more positive when I had a MX date. With this infection I got a hospital stay, surgery and drain but not MX. Hopefully when I see SO tomorrow I will get drain out and she might have a game plan. The antibiotics make me queasy as they are 4x a day. We just need to keep on putting one foot in front of the other and hope for better days!! Big hugs to you!

    PMR53

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  • mommacat4
    mommacat4 Member Posts: 215
    edited May 2015

    Hello everyone,

    congrats to everyone who has finished chemo.

    Pmr53, sorry to hear about your infection. I really hope that drain can come out. I always hated the drains.

    cherylfg, I hear you about the "I am done" stage of this. I think I am mentally there too. I am at the point where I have negative attitudes towards the smallest most non important things. Then I think about it and say to myself it's really ok. But I also get emotional. I cry or almost cry at the smallest suggestion of an emotion.

    I only have 4 more Taxol TX left. Then I have 34 rounds of rads. Well, I am kind of confused about that too. My MO said 34 rounds but when I had my consultation with my RO he said I only needed 28 rounds and maybe a booster here and there. I meet with him again on the 20th. I think that is when the are going to measure and mark me. I am hoping I can go back to work when I am doing Rads. I want to do my first week and see how it goes before deciding.

    SweetHope, thank you for the hair progression pictures. I am starting to get a light covering of fuzz all over my head. It is either coming in gray or very blond. When I was a child my hair was very blond it's what my mom always called (toe head blond). But I don't think I will kept this fuzz. I have a feeling it will just disappear.

    Beachbum, sorry to hear about more chemo. I am praying for you.

    The picture with the puppy is so adorable too. And you and your daughter look great.

    Well on a good note, I have a daughter who is graduating from ASU on the 14th and my son is having a promotion ceremony from the 8th grade on the 26th of May. They are my oldest and youngest of 4 children. Although they aren't children anymore.

    well, all take care. Talk to you all soon.

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  • Brandi999
    Brandi999 Member Posts: 143
    edited May 2015

    PMR53 that sucks! I'm so sorry to hear you are having a set back. Lame!!

    I supposedly have "frozen shoulder" now, though there seems to be conflicts between different professionals. Some are saying rotator cuff and some say frozen shoulder. Either way, I finally got some exercises to do and I think my shoulder actually feels a tiny better today so I'm crossing my fingers that it's going in the right direction. My surgery is set for next Wednesday and I'm all done with my pre-op stuff. This weekend we spend cleaning the whole house and my mom is coming in Monday to help out. Good bye port! Good bye bulging gut!

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  • dstar
    dstar Member Posts: 72
    edited May 2015

    !!!

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  • SweetHope
    SweetHope Member Posts: 439
    edited May 2015

    Dstar, That is is shortest post I've ever read.

    Brandi, Could you use more belly material? I have plenty to offer.

    I sure hope everybody is entering the weekend without any SE's, infections, setbacks, swelling, and drains! It breaks my heart when I read about these complications. The Mom in me just wants to bring homemade chicken soup to each of you.

    I hate my RO! I met him yesterday. He assumes too much. Acts like he has someone more important to see. Shoved a consent form in front of me saying sign this. All the boxes in front of each side effect were already checked! When I said 'no, you didn't cover any of these', he said the front desk will give me a copy to read at home! (Copy machine was broken. And front desk girl droned on and on about a website she wanted me to see. Of course, she was seating, I was standing. When she said no one gets radiation burns, except those with a DNA mutation...I walked out.). Monday is my simulation. God, I hate this!

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  • Brandi999
    Brandi999 Member Posts: 143
    edited May 2015

    Sweethope that sounds horrible! I mean you have to spend weeks with those people! Ya know, you can always report them for violating whatever it is your paper was about... HIPPA, OSHA, whatever. I mean what they are doing is illegal and they need to cut that BS out. Let me know if you want me to find out the proper channel and you can maybe feel better that you did what you could. Even if it was just the manager or some higher up. Those people sound like they are snobs working in Beverly Hills! They need to be reminded that they do not work in a factory meat farm and remember their compassion.

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  • Beachbum1023
    Beachbum1023 Member Posts: 1,417
    edited May 2015

    Hi Sweethope I'm sorry to hear that the RO is a dumb a%*!! They need to treat the patient, as a patient. We have brains, and ears, and hearts that need taken care of as well. What a crappy attitude. My RO warmed up as the process went on, but ended well.

    I just get so fired up when I hear about all of the side effects from rads, and they look at us like we are crazy. It all happens. I was pretty lucky I had a few issues but could have been way worse.

    Have you recovered enough from the chemo? I was pretty fatigued from chemo and went two weeks later to surgery. Then rads, very tired. I sleep about 10 hours a night. Thankfully I can. But how are you feeling??

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  • SweetHope
    SweetHope Member Posts: 439
    edited May 2015

    Brandi, when I go Monday, I will get a copy of that consent form. I'll let you know. But I want you to concentrate on happy times with your Mom (and house cleaning, yeah!). I'll be thinking about you on Wednesday.

    One good thing about that RO...he is pushing the insurance company to do IMRT instead of the usual radiation. IMRT will conform the beam to my breast only, and avoid the heart and lung. It is very expensive and the ins. cos. don't like to use it on BC. (I think it would be cheaper than ins. co. paying for my bad heart or lung in the future.). I told him it was the only way I would consent to radiation.

    You all would have laughed if you saw the picture he drew to illustrate how the radiation beam cuts across the chest. Picture me lying down and you are looking from my feet toward my head. He drew these two mountains for my breasts. Sorry, my girls have not been that perky in decades! My girls fall into my armpits. So unless someone is going to hold them up, I am not doing conventional rad treatment.

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  • mommacat4
    mommacat4 Member Posts: 215
    edited May 2015

    SweetHope, I am sorry to hear that your RO is being a jerk. I defiantly would report it to someone even if it is just the office manager. Also mention the attitude of the other girl Too.


    Brandi, I hate that you are having so much shoulder trouble. I have a friend who had something like that. I think hers was frozen shoulder. Come to think of it I think she mentioned something about the rotator cuff too. It's been a while. She had a small surgery then many weeks of physical therapy. Now she can use her arm and shoulder but she is still a little limited on how much rotation and movement she actually has for that shoulder.

    Beachbum, how are you doing?

    I hate that everyone is having to go through so much. And I hate talking to outsiders who think that everything will be all peachy with us once the treatments are over. They really have no clue.

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  • loriekg
    loriekg Member Posts: 263
    edited May 2015

    SweetHope…do you have to see that RO? If you just met him yesterday, is it early enough to get another referral? My BS gave me two plastic surgeons to choose from…the first one was nice enough but he was very rushed! I didn't have a chance to ask all my questions and left feeling very disappointed. Met with the other guy on Monday—what a WORLD of difference. Even though they really didn't say anything drastically different from each other, it was their mannerisms that made the difference.

    If you do have to see this doctor, I sure hope he was just having a bad day!! --Lorie

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  • Beachbum1023
    Beachbum1023 Member Posts: 1,417
    edited May 2015

    Hi mommacat4, thanks for asking. I had a CT scan last Friday, and I had the whole body bone scan on Wednesday. So waiting again for the results. I see the MO on the 12th and I will find out where I am, praying for stable! I do not want to go back to chemo before Fall so I can have this summer. I missed all of last summer, working or running to all of my appointments. So I will probably go all Queen of Denial on my MO and tell her she can kiss my pumpkin - - this Fall and not before!


    Have a great weekend ladies, and Happy Mother's Day!

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  • SweetHope
    SweetHope Member Posts: 439
    edited May 2015

    Lorikg, Since I only have to see him once a week and I don't want to miss this chance to have radiation by IMRT, I'll put up with him and maybe, like you said, he was just having a bad day.

    What a day today is! The sewer backed up @ 10:00am...plumber $115. DH's car to shop for new transmission @ 3pm...$3,000. My car overheating @ 4pm...$?? Now our year old central a/c just broke and I'm waiting for that repairman.

    I sure hope everyone has an uneventful, inexpensive weekend.

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  • PMR53
    PMR53 Member Posts: 452
    edited May 2015

    Hi all. I got my drain out yesterday. I can't have de solvable stitches due to infection so I have sutures under my arm for another 5 days. All this from an infection. Arggggggg!

    Beachbum - praying for good results and a reprieve from chemo!! You need the summer off. My MX and reconstruction was cancelled due to infection until the end of summer. My SO wants to do a lumpectomy in the next couple weeks just to get what's left of tumor out. I want the summer off too!!

    Cat- you are right. Most people do think that way. They don't understand the fatigue, joint pain, surgery pain etc. in my case Herceptin related achy all over. Congrats on your kids!! We don't have any graduations this year. We had 2 last spring. Glad your almost done with chemo.

    SweetHope. Sorry your RO is an A hole. I get so mad when Doctors are rude and treat patients bad. As a nurse I have seen this many times. We are people. We matter. Don't allow this. Please report or confront him if you feel comfortable. Hope you get the direct rads!!

    Brandi enjoy your weekend and glad your getting prepared for your surgery. Be sure to tell the surgeon about your frozen shoulder. I am worried about it in one position for so long during your surgery. This will make it worse. Massage should help with blood supply and oxygenation to that area.

    Lorie glad you found a plastic surgeon you clicked with. That is so important to have confidence and a good repoire with someone you are relying on to rebuild you!! My plastic is young 34!! I trust him though and he is genuinely caring.

    Happy Moms Day.

    PMR53


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  • Beachbum1023
    Beachbum1023 Member Posts: 1,417
    edited May 2015

    Happy Mother's Day, I hope everyone can enjoy the day. You deserve it! Cheryl


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  • SweetHope
    SweetHope Member Posts: 439
    edited May 2015

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    Happy Mother's Day, Cheryl and Everyone!

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  • Brandi999
    Brandi999 Member Posts: 143
    edited May 2015

    Happy Mother's Day to all the different types of moms out there!

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  • Noor46
    Noor46 Member Posts: 68
    edited May 2015
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    Happymother's day to everybody!

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  • RV6gal
    RV6gal Member Posts: 331
    edited May 2015
    image


    HAVE A HAPPY MOTHERS DAY LADIES!

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  • jlstacey
    jlstacey Member Posts: 277
    edited May 2015

    Happy Mother's Day to mothers of all types! Yesterday was my twelve year anniversary as well but I'll admit I'm not feeling celebratory this year. Fatigue, chemo taste and a sensitive stomach are making me a bit down.

    I hope everyone else is having a fabulous day!

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  • SweetHope
    SweetHope Member Posts: 439
    edited May 2015

    What is wrong with me? I've turned into such a bitch! Yesterday I called my DH 'a f...ing idiot', I wouldn't receive phone calls from my three kids who live out of state; jealous that they were celebrating (with gifts) with their MILs, but I was only getting a free, five minute phone call! Ungrateful, little s....s.

    I can't believe myself. I have no tolerance for anything the least bit stressful. On top of everything else that broke last week, my new smart phone has frozen. ¥%#~*!!!

    I use to be a sweet, smiling, Stepford wife and mother. I liked me. My ideal was Beaver's mom, with her shirtwaist dress and pearls. I live for my pajamas now. Please let this just be a temporary SE.

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  • PMR53
    PMR53 Member Posts: 452
    edited May 2015

    SweetHope-

    I am so sorry to hear you had a bad day yesterday. It is hard emotionally to be cheerful and loving when we feel like crap. Our bodies are ravaged from chemo, surgery, our futures are uncertain. It's a roller coaster for sure. I want to get back on the merry go round. I made it through the days festivities. Barely. My tolerance and anxiety is off the charts. WTF. I know how you feel. Big hugs sweet lady. It has to get better......

    Xoxo

    PMR53

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  • SweetHope
    SweetHope Member Posts: 439
    edited May 2015

    Thanks, PMR. I'm sorry you are feeling this way too. I hope when we all get together in the future, we will be able to laugh about these horrid mood swings.

    I just finished up with my LE Therapist this morning. She wants to save some therapy dates for when I need them during Rads...crap! And, I leave in a few minutes for my Rads simulation...double crap!

    And I got the most loving card this morning from DH. How can he be so wonderful after I called him what I called him yesterday? I feel really bad now!

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  • RV6gal
    RV6gal Member Posts: 331
    edited May 2015

    good luck with the simulation Sweethope. With all the crap you have had happen recently, no one could keep it together. Not sure if this is helpful but I would just forget about it and move on. Hopefully that is the end of chitty things going on

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  • loriekg
    loriekg Member Posts: 263
    edited May 2015

    SweetHope--I am sure yesterday was so out of character for your that your kids and DH understood that you are under a lot of stress and gave you a pass! And then DH gives you a card? Yep...he's a keeper!! Don't feel bad...feel glad to have him by your side. :)



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