People who dropped out of your life after mastectomy.

Msqueen57
Msqueen57 Member Posts: 65
edited May 2015 in ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)

Anyone else suprised at who dropped out of their life after having a mastectomy for breast cancer? In my case it has been my only sister who lives an hour and 1/2 away, She was supportive enough when told my initial diagnosis, and sent flowers after the surgery, but has never been to see me once since my surgery last July 15th. This is a woman who drives all over the state and must have passed my house at least 25 times during this time period. Normally she is the one who takes care of everyone, sometimes to the extent of letting them live with her while she takes care of them.

Didn't expect her to take care of me, but a visit would have been nice, I'm afraid that our relationship may be permanently damaged. It is as if she is afraid breast cancer is catching.

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  • wintersocks
    wintersocks Member Posts: 922
    edited May 2015

    Msqueen57

    This is actually what happened with my younger sister. As I was going through chemo she became increasingly strange and distant. When I asked for help as my son was only 14 at the time, she said in a very clipped way 'I will do what I can'. She lives half an hour away. She never did anything, but I learnt that she rushed off to her GP in tears because I had breast cancer and she was worried she might be at risk. She asked for immediate testing.

    I tackled her more than once about her attitude and she denied anything was wrong, but she failed to turn up at my house, when she said she would, even tho I had got dinner ready (I was as bald as a coot at this point and ill with the chemo.) I really believe she thought it was contagious, she did not want to be around me at all. It was truly awful. Eventually, the relationship broke down completely and I told her never to contact me again.I realised my mental health was really suffering over it. I was shocked and saddened by her behaviour. That was three years ago. I have never spoken to her since that day. I never will again.

    I hope it does not come to this with your sister If it starts to hurt too much, sister or not I would step back, at least until you feel strong enough to decide if the damage is repairable.

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  • Msqueen57
    Msqueen57 Member Posts: 65
    edited May 2015

    wintersocks, Thanks for your response. Your story sounds very silimsr to mine only worse. I was fortunate and did not have to do chemo. I think my sister and I started out on a bad note because she wss asked to cut her vacation in Orlando short so thst she could bring our mother to my house to help after my mastectomy. She did so but was not happy.

    Luckily i had help from very good friends as well as my college age children and my husband, Not sure what I will do with my sister, still too hurt to decide, I think this says it all.

    "Family isn't always blood, it is made up of those who love you no matter what and who will do anything for you,"


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