Starting Chemo March 2015

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  • eheinrich
    eheinrich Member Posts: 792
    edited April 2015

    Sloth: your comment about looking like a televangelist at church camp literally made me shoot coffee out my nose - all over the laptop, over top of it and across the dining room table. I haven't laughed that hard in a while.

    :)

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  • ninjamary
    ninjamary Member Posts: 306
    edited April 2015

    SC - you look great in that pic!. My wig has the same type bangs.

    Sizzle - welcome from another TNBC girl.

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  • eheinrich
    eheinrich Member Posts: 792
    edited April 2015

    Molly: I haven't been to Odyssey yet, but I have heard it's lovely. I moved here right before the holidays and was diagnosed not long after NYs - haven't explored the area as much as I'd like.

    I had my second TC on the 14th. Nails are hanging in there. Eyebrows and lashes too. Brain, less so. Sometimes I have a hard time finding words & keeping my train of thought. And my tongue hurts.

    Trying to stay busy - I have a sweet spot between waking up and around 3pm where I feel productive. After that I'm just tired. Currently working on a Dr Suess baby quilt. I used to have an etsy store & want to try to make enough things to ramp that up again. I had an upcycling/money saving blog, too. Also, mostly abandoned. I completely admire those of you who work &/or have children at home.

    ~e

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  • rleepac
    rleepac Member Posts: 755
    edited April 2015

    Meme - I actually don't do the homeschooling...my DH does :)

    Here's my rant for the day... I WISH I DIDN'T LOOK GOOD!!!!! I know people mean well and I'm sure they see it as a compliment but when people tell me I look good, it makes me feel like I'm supposed to magically 'feel' good too. But I don't...I feel shitty! I'm sorry to disappoint people but here is the newsflash: I. Don't. Feel. Good. I don't care what I look like on the outside (although I guess I'm glad I don't scare people with my looks) but it definitely doesn't match how I feel. How do I get that through to people? Maybe I'll stop applying makeup and go commando with my bald head. That might do the trick...oh look...she really is sick and she's not a big faker...

    Sigh...had to get that off my chest.

    Ohhhh and you know those dreams when you think you're on the toilet and you start to pee...then you feel the warmth and realize 'shit! I just pissed my bed!!!!'....had one of those moments last night. I caught it quick but I think these meds are really getting to me and I want my body back :( Unfortunately, I don't think I get it back for about 10 years so I better just suck it up and deal with it.

    Ok - rant #2 over. I'm going to lay down on the couch in my office and take a lunchtime nap and I don't care what anyone says about it!

    Bekah

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  • molly1976
    molly1976 Member Posts: 403
    edited April 2015

    Oh, Bekah, I feel you. BUT I think we just can't win! I felt great yesterday going in for my treatment, but I did go bald commando with no makeup (because where can you not worry about that stuff if not the infusion chair?) and the nurse said "you look sad." GREAT THANKS.

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited April 2015

    Sloth: Televangelist comment cracked me up, too.

    Ninja: That person who wouldn't write the prescription falls into my 'if you are not nice to cancer patients, you should be killed' category.

    Beatl: So glad you got some good sleep. I haven't had much trouble sleeping, oddly. I take ativan for a couple of nights and an occasional xanax but I think I would be fine even without. I need to do some of those meditations though.

    Katy: So glad you are having a good day. I guess I will try coconut oil for some stuff. I have been putting it on my hands that are so dried out from washing so frequently.

    I am in for cutthroat poker!

    Special: When did you live in Northridge? I lived in Redondo during the quake. My boyfriend at the time was a student at Cal state Northridge. He had lived in the Northridge apt building 1 year before in the building that collapsed on the bottom floor.

    Joanna: You look great! ARe you feeling ok? I haven't lost any eyebrows or lashes yet.

    Sizzle: Welcome to the group.

    Bekah: Rant all you want. I know people think by telling you you look good they are being kind. Just say 'amazing, isn't it, because I feel like shit"!

    :)


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  • ninjamary
    ninjamary Member Posts: 306
    edited April 2015

    Bekah,

    I hear you girl. I feel like crap most all the time now. I'm feeling recovered from #3, but just thinking about adriamycin makes me want to vomit. When I look at myself in the mirror I see an older lady looking back. And yes everyone seems to think we should look like a jaundiced skeleton at all times. I do remember telling my niece she looked awesome when she was going through chemo and I could kick myself now.

    Molly - "you look sad" ?! That nurse was an idiot. I don't even know how I would respond to that? I'd probably think of something awesome 2 hours later. That's how I roll. Slowly.

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  • SpecialK
    SpecialK Member Posts: 16,486
    edited April 2015

    trvler - I lived there until '74, left to go to college and then kept moving north. My parents were there for the '94 quake, just a few blocks from CSUN. They lost most of their windows and had a mess to clean up, but they were lucky. I was there for the '71 Sylmar quake - it was scary! I know exactly the apartments you mean - right across from the post office

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited April 2015

    That's when I decided maybe California wasn't the place for me. I did eventually leave in 98. It took years for me to stop having the I am trapped in a high-rise in downtown LA during an earthquake nightmares. :)

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  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited April 2015

    oh Bekah- I'm sorry for every time I've said it. I know you've suffered more than anyone. I can't wait for this to be over for you.

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  • SC_Coqui
    SC_Coqui Member Posts: 133
    edited April 2015

    Trvler -- I was feeling great up until and hour ago...just finished my fourth and final round of AC. Blah! I hate the sinus pressure I get from the Cytoxan. I'm already feeling light headed and loopy. I just need to make sure I drink a ton of water to get this crap out of my system.

    I'm just SO glad that this part is done!

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited April 2015

    Congrats on your final session of AC!

    Is anyone doing AC having heart issues? Feeling like you are skipping beats?

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  • SizzleStitch
    SizzleStitch Member Posts: 47
    edited April 2015

    Thanks for the welcomes. I am so sorry for those of you having such rough times. So far, I have been pretty lucky it sounds. I did have really bad neck nerve pain for 9 days last time but I am sure it was the shot. Since my WBC have been good, I am not taking it this time and will see if I have to have the three smaller ones next week... Just this doggone brain jumble. It makes it impossible to keep things straight.

    Tuesday when I got my Cytoxan, they did it faster than usual and said for me to let them know if I had any sinus pressure. Luckily, I didn't but I take Claritin 3-4 days before Spa and several after for he shot that I am now not having. I wonder it it helps with the Cytoxan sinus pressure..?? Since I have allergies anyway, I am continuing to take it until I know if I have to have the smaller doses.

    Trvler, I am on TC but I noticed this skip beat a couple times but it has been minimal.

    My rant... I feel like I have to make everyone else around me feel better...It seems they want me to help them not feel bad or be afraid. I think I would lose several friends if I was really truthful about how scared I am. I only post on Facebook good news.

    On the bright side, I have a loving husband and two grown children that are supportive. I wished my kids live close but they don't, which is hard but my husband is Alway there to help me.

    I also have my best friend, Binky who is my Yorkzilla. I am going to try to figure out how to post his picture.


    Kathi image

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited April 2015

    Aww…your dog is so cute!

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  • SC_Coqui
    SC_Coqui Member Posts: 133
    edited April 2015

    SizzleStitch -- I already take Claritin on a daily basis for my allergies. Tree allergies have been fierce lately. Doesn't seem to help for when the Cytoxan drip is happening. I had to take another Claritin once I got home and feel a little better, but my nose is still runny.

    Looking forward to Monday knowing this weekend is a wash.

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  • eheinrich
    eheinrich Member Posts: 792
    edited April 2015

    I love the dog in tie!!!

    Anyone have an eye twitch? Going on 2 straight days. Not a huge deal but dang it's annoying.

    ~e

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  • DavisD
    DavisD Member Posts: 338
    edited April 2015

    imageH

    This is the red wool hat pic I thought I posted before. Just realized it didn't go through! You must have thought I was crazy talking about random red hats, ha!  Can't wait to read the posts for the day. Always something to look forward to.

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  • IndyGal35
    IndyGal35 Member Posts: 340
    edited April 2015

    BeatIt:  I use Sleep Well too!  It doesn't always put me out, but I often fall asleep pretty quickly afterwards.  If nothing else, it helps me to relax, and I think that helps with the fatigue in the morning too.

    Diane:  So sorry about your sweet kitty.  :(  I lost my old boy over 2 1/2 years ago, and I still think about him every day.  It is one of the hardest things I've every been through, and I miss him still.  Sending love your way.

    Bekah:  I totally get that.  I hate it when people tell me I look good too.  I appreciate the sentiments, but I hate that I'm projecting that this is a cake walk.  It sucks.  Constantly. 

    Katy:  I have a huge bruise on my right thigh that came out of nowhere.  It looks like someone kicked me really hard.  Must be low platelets.  I swear I get sexier around here by the minute.

    The chemo train is starting to roll me over with fatigue and fog.  I go for fluids at noon tomorrow, and insurance approved IV Emend for me, so I hope that helps the nausea over the weekend.

    You guys are making me smile with the televangelist remarks and the adorable pet photos.  Here is a pic of one of my three dogs, JoJo, that was taken back on Halloween when she went as SpiderDog.  She is such a little mother hen, and she is good medicine for me.  I'll round the others up for a selfie later. 

    image

     

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  • SpecialK
    SpecialK Member Posts: 16,486
    edited April 2015

    eheinrich - the twitching is from Taxotere, and will most likely continue until after your last tx, it took about 30-45 days for it to dissipate - sometimes both my eyes would twitch, but not in sync, quite odd!  You may also experience muscle twitches in other parts of the body as well.

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  • so-she-did
    so-she-did Member Posts: 202
    edited April 2015

    I have twitches, too. One in my eye that went away, one in my left cheek, one in the index finger on my left hand, and one in the pad between my index finger and thumb on my right hand. Glad to know this is normal. Another one of those strange SEs that no one mentioned.

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited April 2015

    Couldn't help but think of this old SNL. I hope it provides a giggle:

    http://www.hulu.com/watch/4147

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  • rleepac
    rleepac Member Posts: 755
    edited April 2015

    Katy you silly....I didn't mean you guys saying I look good! I'm talking about people who don't have a clue what's going on behind the scenes in my body.

    I expect you to keep telling me I'm beautiful ;)

    Bekah

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited April 2015

    LOL!! Love it, Bekah!

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  • SC_Coqui
    SC_Coqui Member Posts: 133
    edited April 2015

    eheinrich - I've had eye twitches too, but I'm on AC.

    The fatigue and light headedness has hit me really fast this time. Wondering how I'll feel tomorrow. If I can't get any work done I may need to take a sick day.

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  • Italychick
    Italychick Member Posts: 2,343
    edited April 2015

    ok just about lost it. I haven't cried once, and I mean once, since diagnosis. Went for my neulasta follow up and all went well. So I stopped at a health food store on my way home to get chicken for dinner, and omg, they had fresh made oatmeal walnut chocolate chip cookies which are my favorite. So I get one, practically salivating on the way home over it. And then....I get home and no cookie. The dumb cashier and bag boy were so busy asking do you need help and giving me you poor thing looks that they didn't bag my cookie. So I sit here on the verge of tears over a damn cookie. Don't people realize what a tight rope we walk? F*ck sympathy and all the other related crap, how about why didn't you do your job and put my dam cookie in the damn bag? I still want to cry. It was my reward for surviving round 3 of chemo. And now, no cookie, and I am so mad I am shaking and about to cry.

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  • Angiel
    Angiel Member Posts: 223
    edited April 2015

    Just checking in ladies...such an active thread...so much to read and catch up on when I log in. I look forward to this part of my day where I can be in spirit with all of you who are fighting this battle in between spa visits and trying to balance life. You can try and explain this whole sucky experience to others but unless they've been there, they really can't "get it".

    I had my 3rd Taxol yesterday. First time in 7 visits that everything went smoothly and quickly. For that I was happy. They did tell me, though, that my neutrophil count was low 1.2 (or 1200). They said if it had been 100 less, I would've been sent home. I'm worried now that it may continue to drop over the course of the next 10 weeks and that it may affect future treatments. Anyone experience something similar? Any ideas on how to increase Neutrophils?

    Thank you BeatIt and IndyGal for the Sleep Well advice. I just downloaded it. I hope it can help me. I can barely scrape together 4 hours of sleep these nights and it sounds like I am not the only one. The lines & wrinkles under my eyes keep coming. I turn 44 next week and I feel like I've aged at least 5 years in the past 4 months. I've always loved celebrating my birthday at any age - usually with friends during the day and then with family in the evening. Next week I get to spend it in the chemo chair. Fun times.....

    Congrats SC on finishing AC! That's an awesome feeling to be done with that one!

    Wishing you all a peaceful night's sleep filled with non-cancer dreams :-)

    --Angie


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  • Italychick
    Italychick Member Posts: 2,343
    edited April 2015

    oh and then to top it off, some man wandering around pats me in the arm, says hang in there, and a woman next to me in line kept patting me on the shoulder. Wtf, who gave you the right to touch me? Just because I'm frickin bald? The woman behind me in line could be in worse shape than me, but because I have no hair, hello pity party? And strangers touching me? Man, it so hit me the wrong way. I about popped both of them. I am no pity party, other people are in worse shape than I am. And don't ever frickin touch me again.

    Ok, rant over lol.

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  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited April 2015

    Italychick- sounds like a cookie charm for you.


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  • Angiel
    Angiel Member Posts: 223
    edited April 2015

    Theresa, just saw your post after I had submitted mine...I am SO sorry! I teared up just reading it. I totally feel for you and know exactly where you are coming from. If I lived by you, I would rush over with a dozen cookies!! And then I'd tell you that a good cry might do you some good, too, so if you feel it coming on, just let it out. It's OK!! Next time, I guess you should get a whole dozen - certainly they couldn't miss putting a dozen cookies in a bag, right? Hope you can have a good night sweetie.

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  • SC_Coqui
    SC_Coqui Member Posts: 133
    edited April 2015

    Theresa, I understand. I hate being touched. Especially being tapped. Hello? Keep your hands to yourself.

    Ugh, I can literally feel this crap running through my veins. They say it gets worse with every treatment. I'm feeling it.

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