Starting Chemo March 2015

glad you are home Katy! I hope you sleep well and have no fevers!

Hooray, Katy!!! Between the fevers and the big D, I bet you are exhausted. Hoping for good rest and no more temp spikes!

Eleven days until my 5th treatment and I'm dreading it, this last one left me feeling like I'd been hit by a car and had every bone broken. That extreme feeling of pain last a few days and then settled into a dull roar. Right now I have the runs , a horrible feeling mouth , difficulty swallowing and random aches but it's better than the intense pain and I can function fairly normally. First 3 treatments were a breeze in comparison (now Docetaxel and Herceptin). Oh and lets not forget the rash Im getting on my nether regions.

I thank my lucky stars that I retired early at 55 and now at 56 I can deal with this without worrying about getting up to go to work like I know some of you do and Im in awe as to how you cope.

Funny reading up there about friends being weird now that you have cancer. I haven't experienced this that much , in fact I've actually found this 'event' has brought people closer to me and makes me want to be a better person to others. Emotional feelings of gratitude i guess. Having said that, I will also say that I'm very private about my situtation and not a lot of people know. I don't want to talk about it all the time because I think it helps me to just carry on with living and not make it the focus of all my conversations. It freaks me out when people show a lot of concern and worry because I'm trying to be positive and their reactions make me feel like 'dead man walking'. I know better but its how i feel.

Terrymarie: "Funny reading up there about friends being weird now that you have cancer. I haven't experienced this that much , in fact I've actually found this 'event' has brought people closer to me and makes me want to be a better person to others. Emotional feelings of gratitude i guess. Having said that, I will also say that I'm very private about my situtation and not a lot of people know. I don't want to talk about it all the time because I think it helps me to just carry on with living and not make it the focus of all my conversations. It freaks me out when people show a lot of concern and worry because I'm trying to be positive and their reactions make me feel like 'dead man walking'. I know better but its how i feel"

This is very similar to my feelings.

My daughter told me the other night that a neighborhood boy said to her 'I am sorry to hear about your mom' and I think she was uncomfortable with it. I thought it was very sweet. I asked her why she was uncomfortable and she said because no one was supposed to know. I told her it's ok that people know NOW but in the beginning I didn't want to tell everyone until I knew the treatment plan. Poor little thing. She was so afraid that she had done something wrong. She is very sensitive.

Oh I can talk about food, that's for sure! Seems I'm craving protein, like big lumberjack-sized breakfasts. I've been a vegetarian for a lot of years and so when I started craving meat with this chemo I decided I should probably pay attention, so I've been eating whatever sounds good. Last night I watched a youtube video of Gordon Ramsey cooking the perfect steak and within ten minutes I was headed to the Safeway for a cut of filet. It was delicious. And chef Ramsey really does have an excellent and easy way of cooking it.

Sweet things usually taste pretty normal but I've been trying to keep it healthy, lots of smoothies in the morning then at night instead of ice cream ill make a bowl of Greek yogurt with raw honey and bananas or blueberries. The sweet and start together wakes up some otherwise sluggish tastebuds I think. Applesauce tastes good too.

Saltines are yum so I started buying the little oyster crackers so they'd seem more like a treat, then I had to shake up some of that horrible oyster cracker snack mix from Pinterest. So much sodium but I could taste it!

Another weird craving I've had is beets. I think they have a lot of iron or minerals in them so again I wonder if that's something my blood is needing to repair itself. I put lots of beets and kale through the juicer hoping it gives me a little credit for later in the day when I start craving the crap-ola food.

I crave lots of different foods but they don't taste how i remember them tasting and I end up sampling more than eating , swallowing is an issue for me as is this feeling in my mouth of cotton or socks, and now my tongue is sore. Popsicles are good, ice cream, smoothies etc all tasty. Meat hasnt been easy because of the texture, I can't seem to chew it up enough even if its been ground up. Soft potatoes and carrots and similar things work for me. Forget about toast, it's too 'sharp' on my mouth, hurts my tongue and gums. I know I've lost weight , my eating has been halved at least. I'm just making sure I eat protein , eggs and cheese etc and veggies , I want to eat as well as I can.

I miss coffee too! It's so sad to me that food just doesn't taste the same. I agree that lots of food sounds great but then doesn't taste as I remember it tasting. Bummer. I still crave birthday cake, chips and salsa, fruit salad, pasta salad, feta cheese, Cheetos and smoothies. Just one bite at a time.

My favorite right now is roasted veggies, especially broccoli and asparagus. The split pea soup with a hearty amount of ham that my sister made and froze for me has really been hitting the spot, too. Caesar salad mix, enchiladas (can't taste the cheese but everything else is good), and anything else with a strong spice mix. The only sweet that tastes good is Breyers salted caramel ice cream and otter pops. I've been making a juice I really like - 2 smallish fuji or gala type apples, 1 orange, 10 or so carrots, and about 4-5 handfuls of spinach. Supposed to help with immunity and it tastes good. I also like drinking root beer, V-8 juice, gatorade (I tolerate it for the most part when I know I am dehydrated but it doesn't taste normal), and sprite mixed with cranberry juice when my bladder starts to feel irritated from chemo drugs.

Trvler - your sweet daughter.....my eyes welled up.

TerryMarie- so sorry you are still feeling crap, though it does sound marginally better with the whole body bone pain.

The food...on infusions 1 and 2, I had the horrible burnt mouth and mouth sores. Swollen throat glands, sore throat, runny nose. I started with the L-Lysine and baking soda swish and have never stopped. I love a very dark roast coffee in the morning and temporarily switched to a medium, and I can now say very ECSTATICALLY, I am enjoying my coffee again.

I have always been very bad with water drinking too. And vegetable eating. And I know I'm not getting enough protein which every doctor and nurse has bent my ear about.

So I too have jumped on the juicing band wagon. I realize the horse is out of the barn, but I've switched to organic too. I feel silly, but I just can't knowingly do now what isn't the best possible thing for my body.

I can sneak carrots, kale, beets, celery, even fresh broccoli into my juice if there is enough apple, orange, pear, pineapple, mango, and the like. I make a big pitcher in the morning to last all day. And my new secret weapon is fresh ginger (I cut off the hard outside) and it adds an appealing and interesting taste and also helps with nausea. Admittedly, I have not had the nausea problems others have had, but it helps when I'm feeling it coming on. I am adding whey protein (no soy protein if one is ER+- not to mention GMO) to my midday juice and it's probably the healthiest meal I've ever had.

So I suppose you can tell I'm feeling ok again, all trace of fever has gone and I'm looking forward to a nice day, but I'll try not to overdo it. Easier said than done when one suddenly feels this physical reprieve!

I am sending gentle hugs to all who aren't having the best days, whether it be SEs or the ubiquitous depression and insecurity that accompanies this malady. Love you all and thanks for being so supportive over the weekend from hell.

Katy

I wish I craved veggies! The thought of them makes me cringe. The only way I've been able to get a good dose of veggies is to drink them with a fruit juice. I'm picking up a lot of organic fruit for fruit salad this week. The soft berries are sweet, so I can still somewhat taste them, and the fiber helps the GI storm that Perjeta gives me.

I've been craving tons of dairy. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's my body's way of trying to stop the big D

How about chocolate pudding for dairy and sweet tooth?

Thanks for the recipe, BB. No worries about amounts. I can always look up borsch recipes to figure it out.

I have a great recipe for green salsa if anyone wants it. Not difficult at all.

Katy, my Mom drains the veggies, so it is just the liquid that remains. I can eat it out of the plate with the spoon, or drink it out of a cup.

I love Panna cotta, but hey, I'm Sicilian, right? Panna cotta con fragola (strawberries). Ok, now I want dessert!

Did all of your MOs tell you not to eat soy? Mine says it is totally fine, that the plant estrogens in soy are so weak compared to what my own body is making that it's not significant. Still, I used to eat a ton of tofu and I haven't been able to go there since diagnosis.

They told me the same about veggies and fruits - nothing raw, unless it can be peeled, and it has to be thoroughly washed. So I'm staying away from salads. Also, meet has to be well done.