I just need to vent!!!

Selizabeth12
Selizabeth12 Member Posts: 18
edited August 2015 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

I have been babysitting for a family for three and a half years now. I don't just mean spending a night with the kids every once in a while, I mean days out of the week with them. I have known the mother of this family for 10+ years. The husband/dad is a sarcastic person in general, but I could not BELIEVE what he's said to me lately.

Anyways, in February (a month after my mom was diagnosed and was currently in the process of healing from her surgery..which he was well aware of) the husband/dad texted me and said "why don't I hear from you anymore? Don't reply right away and give me a good reason when you do!" ......Are you kidding me I'm trying to balance getting two full degrees in college and as if that wasn't stressful enough, now my mom has a nasty cancer and I'm trying to take care of her mentally and physically and keep myself sane all at the same time. Do you NEED any more of a reason than that?

This past Saturday he caught me in a vulnerable state when he texted me again and said "why don't I hear from you? You never give me any updates on your mom" to which I replied that I hardly give anyone details of my mom. They haven't changed since the last time anyone asks. How's your mom doing? Oh, still having chemo.. so if I were to answer truthfully the answer would pretty much always be "oh not great". Not many people I know have been in this kind of a bad situation so most people don't understand, so I don't really talk to many people about this.

TO WHICH HE REPLIES: Yeah because you are the only one on earth that has gone through anything bad. My bad. Nevermind, they should just give you a medal.

Haven't heard anything sense.

I absolutely can not believe it. After all of the time and energy I've spent on his family. After all of the countless diapers I've changed and puke and other yucky things that come along with babies and toddlers?! That is what I get? He's 40, married, both parents still alive, has children, has a job, etc. I'm 21, not in a relationship, balancing school, trying to figure out what I even want to do with my life. I don't want a medal, I just don't find comfort or any benefit in talking to most people about this because most don't understand. Why does he think I owe him all of the details of this very personal experience my family is dealing with? Am I wrong for feeling SO MAD and upset about this?

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Comments

  • Cheesequake
    Cheesequake Member Posts: 264
    edited April 2015

    People can be very, very stupid. They don't mean to. I try not to hold it against them, but it's difficult. I certainly don't think you're wrong to be upset, but try not to spend too much time on it - you've got better things to do :)

    Good luck - best to your Mom!

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  • AmyQ
    AmyQ Member Posts: 2,182
    edited April 2015

    This sounds terribly inappropriate and a complete violation of your privacy. I would go to his wife and discuss your concerns. He sounds like a bully and his behavior is verging on abuse. You may want to consider leaving this job if you can't find a happy resolution.

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  • Obxflygirl1
    Obxflygirl1 Member Posts: 377
    edited April 2015

    Sounds like to me he may have a secret fixation on you and this is his way of getting your attention. What a bully. I'd stay far away.


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  • Lots2Live4
    Lots2Live4 Member Posts: 3
    edited August 2015

    people don't get it. I try to remember that someone else's way of showing concern may be different than mine. If you think that maybe his intentions are not good, or that he might even be prompting conversation just to get u to go back to helping them, then I would tell him the best way to help me is to pray for me and my mom. No more messages please. If he is trying to be helpful ( or whatever!) and he is not...then stop it. Who cares if u are coming across as rude? Life herself has been quite rude to u and your family lately and she doesn't care..does she

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