Starting Chemo March 2015

Katy- I just love how you make me smile and LOL. Augie is a shelter mutt...and I have zillions of pics of him...you asked for it...wait til tomorrow He is a Therapy Dog drop-out. I tried to get him certified, but he has a few "issues." When things roll by, he LUNGES. I am talking bikes, skate-boards, scooters, big trucks...could you imagine a chemo IV pole---yikes! He is so loveable, but startles/lunges with large vehicles and wheeled objects. But he is OK with city buses...I worked hard to train that...maybe now that I am home, I can work on the other vehicles. And he is So protective of me, that No one could help me after my MX. That was kind of a nightmare. Had to throw a piece of chicken in another room, have him run in, and shut the door behind him. He then proceeded to scratch the hell out of my 90 year old doors. Ugh and Lol, all-in-one! He loves me too much, but the feeling is mutual.

E, I am so sorry you don't have your dog...I am not allowed to go on Petfinder, because I will end up with another, but maybe you could save another dog?

Diane, that pic is so happy and sad at the same time. My Dad is also gone, but never forgotten, and I lost my daughter when she was 11...I am staring at her pic right now...sheesh, life is so tough sometimes.

Theresa, I hope that sting stays small, your wbc's should be back up if your due for your next infusion? You'll be back on that bike as soon as it's fixed, I am sure.

Meme...aren't friends the best? My best friend came up from Charlotte to help right after my MX, too bad my dog wouldn't let her! But we had some fun, and I so appreciate her. Best friends since 1971!

Sue-don't worry about taking the Ativan...we all need it at times, and as Katy said, we have to be rested and healthy to fight this fight!

I hope everyone gets a good night's sleep. I can never fall asleep at a reasonable hour...even with the Ativan

Arlene

Sue - Hang in there my friend. For me, and from what it sounds like, for most of us, the waiting is the hardest part of all of this. My lowest point in all of this came when I received a phone call the day before I was to have my appointment with my MO to discuss my oncotype results. It had been a long 10 day wait and I was ready to get the news, whatever it happened to be, and move on to the next step. Up to this point I had been dealing with delay after delay. If the path results were supposed to take 2 days, it took 4. If I was supposed to have an appointment on a Tuesday, it got pushed back to the next week. That was the way things had been rolling. Anyway, the nurse from the MOs office called and said that my insurance still hadn't approved the test and they hadn't even started it yet. Uh, excuse me?! You know that ugly kind of crying where the snot runs down your face? Well, add to that confused and pissed off and you've got a picture of me about 10 minutes before my students were due back in from lunch. That was the first day I taught while on valium! That day was a shit sandwich served with a side of shit, F charm on the bracelet kind of day. It was the hardest part of all of this - the waiting. The chemo, the surgery, the SEs, all pale in comparison to all those days of waiting. Once you get past the waiting, it seems like everything else is doable and it is a matter of taking each step at a time. No matter how rotten that step is, at least you can see where you are putting your foot. I don't know if this helps you at all (maybe it was more for me to vent since I am STILL pissed the hell off about it - ha!) but I want you to know that for me, things got so much more manageable once I had a plan in place. Take everyone's advise and take some good meds to get through this part. You know, I've got to find a charm to represent that day to add to the bracelet that will sit at the bottom of the lake.

Diane - open a can of whoop ass on that insurance company of yours!

woke up at midnight after 3 good hours. Immediately thought of what Trvler said- this resource/counseling/unconditional love train is open 24/7! So I thought I'd check in.

Arlene and Slothabout- shelter/rescue dogs are so wonderful. I have been tempted to get another too, because there are so many needy ones. Jack was found by my bestie running in the streets of LA, weaving in between cars, with no ID. Jack was very stressed out during my long and hellish recovery. He knew he couldn't get very near to me so he kept a safe distance but stared deeply into my eyes an whined. Constantly.

I finally reached out to the Furry Friends group (I was a member but he had not yet been certified). From that day on, a steady stream of visitors came and took Jack out for walks, play dates with their dogs, etc., an opportunity to direct his stress into physical activity. It did him a world of good and I will always be grateful to these generous people.

Arlene -90 yr old doors- sounds beautiful! And can't wait for more pics of Augie. And very quietly acknowledging the tragic loss of your daughter. Words could never even begin to cover that. My heart aches for you.

Slothabout- your name has been added to the list- will be so great to meet everyone!

Amy- you get the prize for the most effed up waiting! I agree that once a plan is in place and you can see your feet taking the steps, things improve greatly. Since the bracelet already has an F, you could add a W for "eff waiting". Not terribly creative, I'll keep thinking and looking for suggestions.

Don't forget everyone, pm your snail mail and email addresses to me so we can begin to plot the travel plans of the F bracelet. Right now it looks like Diane will have it a couple of weeks, then Meme (Maryellen). Maybe after that we'll get it to Shaz and Bekah- I think they could use a littler fairy dust. A fairy would be cute

Sharon: You look so pretty in that chemo photo.

Italy: I am sorry about the bee sting. I hope it didn't cause any issues.

Sue: Hang in there. I find better results with Xanan than ativan. I wake up at 4 am with ativan and half a xanax usually lets me sleep through the night. Everyone so often, I go cold turkey just to make sure I don't have any addiction issues.

Katy; I am so glad all is well. I WORRY about you when you go an entire day without posting.

Arlene: I can't imagine losing a child. My heart is with you.

Diane: Thank you for sharing your picture with your father. I also lost my father to cancer. He was 57. It was in 1993. What breaks my heart the most is that he never got to meet my husband or kids.

The scalp thing is killing me. I have a very sensitive scalp anyway. Never can wear headbands or hats because they bug me. The wig is f-ing killing me. Itchy. The hat and scarf hurt. Hoping and praying this DOES end. I wonder if it happens with taxol? Anyone know?

I heard from a friend from long ago when I lived in Los Angeles and that was a nice lift. She didn't know I had cancer. Also reached out to a FB friend and told her and she called me. I probably hadn't talked to her in 10 years but it was like we never lost touch and it was wonderful. We had met in high school.

trvler - my scalp does not itch anymore. It took a good two weeks to soften my nubs or maybe they are falling out. Who knows.

I haven't received one chemotherapy bill yet. I figure my insurance company would pay about $9-19K per treatment. I've hit my deductible and out-of-pocket max. That wasn't hard to reach with the medical bills. So far my insurance company has paid over $40k for DX MRI's and surgeries. I can't imagine not having insurance. I consider myself very lucky.

Holy crap, ladies. Dealing with chemo bills on top of everything else must be THE WORST. I'm with an HMO (Kaiser P) and don't even have a chemo co-pay. I had a $500 co-pay for the mx haven't seen a bill since. Regarding the PS not being covered - sorry I can't remember who that was - from what I understand Obama mandated that reconstruction cannot be not considered a cosmetic procedure. and has to be covered. That said I don't know how much coverage covered means.

Regarding my pup - I'm actually ok with having partial custody. Love her dearly but never wanted a dog - my husband (Alan) won her at a fundraising auction and suddenly there was a dog in my lap. Alan & I hang out a lot and I get an adequate dose of puppy lovin'. I'm a cat person. The kitty that I took with me when we separated is terrified of the dog. Since we are in our own place she has turned into a totally different cat. I guess she needed to be an only pet.

ok enough stalling. It's spa day! Off I go.

Hi-

Insurance-Eheinrich is right. Reconstruction coverage is mandated by federal law after BC surgery. Hope this info helps you in your fight with Ins. Co.. I've been VERY lucky with Ins so far, but I've set aside Mondays as they day I deal with the medical bills and insurance, "FunDay Monday" I call it. I did get 2 non-payments reversed last week, so that was good, but it took several calls.

WAITING- I so agree with others: It is the worst!!!!!!!!!!!! However, in hindsight, the time allowed me time to come out of shock from whatever crappy news I had just gotten and mentally prepare for the next bit of news. I am now grateful for the time BUT while I was waiting I was a wreck. So just be a wreck and let us help I felt so much better once my MO and I agreed on treatment and a date was set (in fact we took a little pre-chemo vacation in the week between Decision and Chemo #1--I highly recommend it if you can get away for a few days and do something fun---it really helped me take my mind off the upcoming treatments).

Hope and Hugs to All!!

Carol

Had my shot today and feel pretty good though do feel a bit funny with the stomach, continuing the nausea pills every 4 hours. And lots of water and have added ginger tea - yum. Used the coconut oil last night on my head and added more with lavender oil before bed - wonderful, the sensitive calmed a lot. Well worth the $22.

I now receive breast cancer agency updates on my Facebook page, liked one agency and now there are many more to like. Anyhow found this one that will send a beauty basket to you - I signed up so well see but thought you pretty ladies may want some freebies

http://www.thebreastcancercharities.org/feelingbea...

Also received two more cards from my chemo angels, highly recommend this group. And received a beautiful headscarf from www.goodwishesscarves.org. So nice to get mail.

Katy...Augie says Relax...no decadron til tomorrow!

Arlene- What a beautiful picture. The timing and dates is spooky. 13 years in between exactly. I know she is with you every day.

Sue- the idea for a sandwich charm is BRILLIANT, time to talk to the jeweler, eh?

Maryellen, due to your earlier recommendation I contacted Chemo Angels. One of mine seems to be MIA, but I get very thoughtful and frequent cards from the other. I'll contact this other one you've mentioned, thanks! Hang in there with those SEs. The ginger is supposed to be great

LoveMyLab- so glad things went smoother yesterday, and crossing my fingers it's smoother sailing from here, and fewer if not no, headaches.

Eileen- good luck in the chair today. Kitties are funny like that. I'm glad her true personality has come out in the absence of the furry intruder and that you get such comfort from her.

Augie is chillin' ! so cute! Tell him thanks from Jack. He's having a hard time keeping mommy under control this week.,