Starting Chemo March 2015

MaryEllen -what a cute do! Love the hat and short wig.

I have been losing weight steadily since dx, trying to figure out how much my boobs weighed, since that wouldn't really count. I picked up a 5 lb bag of sugar yesterday. They couldn't have possibly weighed that much! I have always struggled with my weight, and am about 30 lbs down since dx. But am definitely experiencing the yo-yo effect of chemo and steroids. I'm trying very hard not to stress about it right now. The priority, the MO nurses tell me, is stability right now. And definitely fluid retention plays a part also. So definitely outside our control.

If am sending my lovely friends a bouquet today to brighten your day. Hope everyone's SEs are manageable

A visitor out my kitchen window just now

Diane- Magnificent Magnolia! I lived in PA (near Doykestown) for about 15 years. It's where I fell in love with gardening.

I'm so glad a few of you think Oregon could be a cool place to have a reunion. Quite frankly, I'd go about anywhere to meet you ladies. And I definitely DON'T like to travel anymore. But I'd do it for all of you. If we do decide to do it, I'd be happy to do the legwork to check out various places.

And speaking of lovely Oregon, picking the right month is hard. We do get a lot of annual rainfall, but the wind in the summer at the coast blows the weather systems off. So less rain, more wind. We have surprisingly beautiful weather even in Jan-Feb! At any time of the year, daytime temps here on the coast don't stray far from 65 degrees F. So it's not the place if you really want to bake. I love "fall-type" weather at the beach. I've traveled the world and I count the Oregon Coast among the top 5 scenic venues I've been lucky enough to see.

I guess my visitor has decided to "set a spell"

Diane I have a subaru too! 80,000 miles and going strong. Plan to keep it till at least 300,000.

Too bad I can't drive it to .... Australia- because it wouldn't be right without Shaz. We must get her there, wherever there is. I also cannot imagine this group not continuing on in some form FOREVER.

I think holding off till everyone is done with treatment is wise, and hopefully nobody has to suffer more than a year......it's beautiful here in the spring.

Special consideration also needs to be given to those saints among us who have children and school schedules, work schedules, husbands and their schedules. But I think if there's a will there's a way. Everyone welcome. And for those who cannot move the mountains to make it happen, we can schedule some Skype and/or FaceTime visits and still be reunited! I'm excited.

It has occurred to me that we don't make new friends often or easily as adults. Most of our friends, it seems, come from school years, or early work days, when our time was freer, and our interests and obligations less constricting. Having this virtual mother lode of support and friendship amazes me. Daily.

You know that feeling you get when you are sick and the rest of the world is just moving on without you? That's how I am feeling today. I am lucky that I don't feel bad. My scalp feels so much better now that I am shorn. It was matted and it was painful. I just feel in a funk. My husband is trying to do EVERYTHING and I feel so guilty about it.

Trvler-I have that same feeling on and off every day. When I'm not feeling physically bad I beat myself up for not feeling more grateful I'm alive and why shouldn't everyone move on with their lives?? I guess I feel a bit short change on my summer at least. I had so much planned for the spring/summer, who knows how much I would have gotten accomplished if I hadn't gotten C. At least I can play the Cancer card if I don't get things done now...my bad. I hope your spirits lift and you know how very much you're cared about. Please let DH do whatever he can for you. He will feel better and hopefully you can allow yourself to as well.

Bekah-I have been losing things left and right, same day too! Sound like hubby understands and that's important.

Katy-I am so psyched about our plans! I haven't had a real "vacation" in I don't know how long. We don't go away much at all since the kids are grown. Seems like more trouble than it's worth getting the dogs cared for etc. We don't really travel well together so there's that too.... Anyhow I can be very flexible. I have 20 years in at my job so I can take off when I want with some planning of course. I guess it would be good to hear from the moms of little ones what month would be best for them. I don't know if I can wait a whole year but it will give me something to shoot for! So happy you're excited about it too.

Maryellen, you look beautiful in the cap! I am so not in to socializing these days. We went to soccer though and that was enough for me. Katy, I have never been to Oregon, it looks so beautiful and your little visitor looks so comfy. Too cute! Trvler, please try to get out and soak up some of the nice weather in Illinois today. The sun felt so good when we went to soccer! I hate those down days so much. I seem to have them when I am feeling better but still coming out of my chemo fog. I feel guilty about everything! People bringing me food, my co workers covering for me at work, DH doing stuff around the house. I hope you're feeling better soon!

oh. Oops. I got so excited I said Tahoe. Arrowhead is good too

Speaking of this shit sandwich...

Sitting here feeling pretty good and then bam! Nausea. I start crying and DH freaks out. I have to reassure him I'm only crying because I'm having a pity party and not because of something catastrophic. He gets it and calms down.

Nausea meds STILL needed round the clock over a week after 3rd AC - uggghhhhhh.....who gave me the foot long? Next time I'd just like a 6" shit sandwich please!

Here's me bitching and I'm not gonna apologize damn it.

Bekah

That's right Katy...I am a BADASS!!! At least that's what my Krav Maga instructor said

I don't take it wrong at all - glad to provide some comic relief...sometimes it's all we have!

Bekah

so had a beautiful day, hubby and I went for beach walk, then to downtown Encinitas and had a sandwich and soup and cappuccino and did some people watching. Then stopped in Whole Foods on our way home, and the guy behind the meat counter said " what can I help you with, sir." SIR? Man, you really know how to hurt a gal. I guess it was because I just had my do rag on. Sigh!

I am down with going anywhere for our reunion.

Laughing too Bekah, with you not at you! What else are we gonna do?

E-that is so awesome of you to offer! I haven't been to CA or Oregon. I'll have to fly but will need to either way.

Katy-YES!! I'd love to see your neck of the woods too if I coming all that way might as well make a real road trip of it. What's the nearest airport to you?  This is so freaking exciting to me!

Grilled cheese for dinner. May has well been a sponge sandwich, can't taste a thing!

Katy, yes I am close to Olivenhain. Maybe ten minutes from my house.

As for the food thing, when I am in the my mouth tastes like ass days, for some reason lemon water and grapefruit still have taste. My husband has to taste what I cook on those bad mouth days, otherwise I would over salt and hot sauce the crap out of everything. Then probably burn up my digestive tract and end up with indigestion and diarrhea oh joy.

Today everything tastes great and feeling groovy, but with chemo no. 3 on Wednesday looming over my head, just a bit anxious. Still haven't come to terms with doing 4 rounds vs. 6 because supposedly rounds 5 and 6 can really do a number on the body. I have been trying to research, but I can't find any definitive answers.

Shaz, on another forum, a couple of women wrote that their doctors gave them steroids longer for headache issues. So may be worth considering or asking about.

I wish I knew what the benefit would be. My onc wants me to do 6 too.