Stupid comments ....

I have a few interesting/stupid comments from my MO during my last visit with her in which I was trying to explain that some of the side effects of tamoxifen were simply getting the better of me:

1. "There is simply NO WAY to know if someone is post-menopausal." (ME: really, because I thought there was a blood test that would measure 3 indicators of menopause. HER:" oh right.").

2. "You are not post-menopausal because you have been on tamoxifen so your lack of a period is due to that." (ME: "I've only been taking tamox since December. I haven't had a period since June.")

3. "This sounds a lot like it is actually menopause causing these issues." (ME: "But I stopped taking tamoxifen 3 weeks ago and the symptoms are gone. Plus, you just said I wasn't in menopause!")

4. "There is NO OTHER option for staving off estrogen other than having your ovaries out. You can either stay on tamoxifen or schedule surgery." (ME: what about the SOFT and TEXT results?")

5. "It is not possible for me to explain to your insurance company why you failed tamoxifen. AND why you failed anastrozole without even trying it." (ME: Whatever. I will pay out of pocket. I am not taking that drug anymore. I could just go with nothing....yes I turned into a teenager but I won...)

6. "Is there a time when your work won't require these things so you could go back on tamoxifen?" (ME: I actually need to be able to think pretty consistently in my life.)

6. "People who complain about tamoxifen are not able to handle any other medication either."

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

And I should throw in two from "a friend" who recently described my experience, in the same conversation as "a cancer scare" (like it was a false alarm!!!) AND as my "brush with cancer" (like It just grazed me!!!).

That's a frustrating doctor/patient dialogue. Ugh. Were you itching to poke her in the eye? LOL And the friend comment--I have had a few family and friends say similar things to me. They think they are helping me stay positive by thinking of the cancer that way. Not really helping. Sorry your friend downplayed your condition. Shows a lack of understanding on many levels.

Thanks everyone! I have another friend with whom I always laugh as we say together, "You know, it's just a touch of cancer." It's good to have someone who "gets" you amid all the weird things that happen once you get that diagnosis.

coraleliz - oh my!! I can't imagine having a mammogram on a flat chest. How on earth could that be done??? I hope that doesn't come up ever! I could see doing an MRI, maybe, although I suppose there aren't any boobs to hang down, so maybe that wouldn't work either. By the way, I love your Wilma! I think my scars look just like hers!

Professor...you FAILED tamoxifen?  It seems to me that tamoxifen failed YOU. 

Sheesh.

glennie - glad to hear they do comment on the flat side when doing an MRI. Nobody has said anything about repeating those on me since I have two flat sides, but I'll be curious to see if anything comes up at my 1 year.

Gina4h - sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. Laughing out loud is definitely good medicine! Take care!

Ariom - that's a great idea to do the ultrasound on the flat side, and much cheaper than an MRI so perhaps it would be covered by my insurance. I like the idea of doing some type of monitoring other than me just going in and verbally telling them whether or not I have symptoms!

In complete agreement...brush with cancer...sheesh gmafb. I agree that it didn't kill me, but it killed a lot of other stuff. I was on the phone with my nurse navigator yesterday venting about the complete loss of trust in my own body at this point. I have a scan next week for shoulder pain and the MO threw in a bone scan for good measure. I'm freaked out, but trying to stay calm. How do people live like this???

uggg

Jennie - Whoa! That absolutely takes my breath away. Perhaps you need to provide her with links to some of the many studies dealing with chemo brain, neuropathy, radiation fibrosis, etc., etc. What a rotten thing to say.

Raider Girl - your comment about 'taking away your peace of mind' is spot on. And yes, the financial impact, not to mention the scars, etc. Let's not forget the toll it takes on our spouses, either.

There are some days when I literally can't imagine living this way for the rest of my natural life. Fortunately, there are others when some sort of resignation takes over. Still, it's tough. And no, it does NOT make us better people.

Well, that's probably a pretty realistic approach as far as sharing with other people (although I think many people could benefit from some education on these issues). However, please remember that you can come here and vent, whine, question and let it all go to your heart's content, Jennie.

PS - notice that "eventually" is rarely defined. I've heard some side effects referred to terms of 3-5 years to clear up. That's a long time, in my book.

Gina4h, I am so sorry that "the friend" would make such a stupid comment on facebook. That is a international mistake. I only tell people on a need to know basis. I am tired of the stupid remarks. And I do not use facebook.......

I'm tired of "so they caught it early", not really I am Stage IV, so not early enough. I just want to know if they think "catching" it is like fishing or something. Then to follow it with "so how long do you have?" WTH? Reload, possibly longer than you!

KbellaK, My oh my, we must be related. My older brother told me that maybe we can get a discount at the nursing home if I room with my Mother! WTH?? I'll miss him.................ugh!

KBella, your brother is an A-1 jerk and toxic to your health. If I see him, I will give him a giant junk punch! So sorry that you are not getting compassion and support that you deserve and from your brother,no less.

MsP

A junk punch to your brother, KBellaK   Argh!!!!!

Gina, I hope you get to your kids before they see FB.  Can't your "friend" take the comment down???  Hello,,, DELETE!!