Spring 2015 Radiation Sisters

CurlyKat--I use breathing and meditation, prayer, journalling, Vitamin B. I have a sister who knows of my past traumas. Her dh is a counselor so she knows a lot and tries to help me. I don't use anxiety meds because I haven't found one that doesn't give me other undesirable SE's. They make my insomnia worse, give me headaches, and make my restless leg syndrome worse. I'm not an easy puzzle to solve. Most of the time my own coping mechanisms work. It surprised me to be falling apart like this. I have a friend with a counselling degree. I'm going to ask her for some advice.

Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement Curly, Jesika and Jean. You are all right. I can do this. I just needed to see and hear the words. I actually read your replies out loud to myself. I'm so grateful that I can speak freely here and receive care and understanding. I have always been able to rise above the bad things that happened to me, but this has hit me in ways I never expected. Thanks for supporting me. Hugs to all. You are all in my thoughts and prayers too. It helps to have you to care about too.

Hi ladies,

My Oncotype score is 19. My MO said he has to put every option on the table and it would be up to me to decide a) if I wanted chemo and b) which option of chemo: TC which he said was "brutal", was only 3 mos, but would give me an extra 3 percentage points on the cancer not returning or CMF which wasn't as bad, took 4.5 mos, but would give me 2.5 extra percentage points. He said with lumpectomy alone I had an 85% chance that my cancer was cured and wouldn't recur. With 10 years of AI, it would add another 4% points, so at 89%. With chemo, 91-92%.

My initial thoughts are I'm going to have chemo and likely the "brutal" one. I want to throw everything at this monster. I want to do everything I can to fight it. But I have a lot of research to do and will go look at other boards...

Mombie - being Her2+ you wouldn't typically be offered the Oncotype DX or Mammaprint as they are used to help determine whether chemotherapy will benefit you, based on the biology of YOUR tumor. Since Her2+ are pretty much always treated with chemo and herceptin and/or perjeta, there's no need for the test.

It uses samples taken from your tumor.

I hope that helps!

Hopeful--Yes, that helps. Thank you. So much to learn and I'm interested in ALL of it. Glad to learn more.

Had my second treatment today and it did go much smoother and faster.  The techs were very happy with my positioning and I got my tattoos.  When I got to the rad room, I asked the techs if they could tell me what they're doing and what's coming next to help me with anxiety and that helped a lot as well.   I figured I would try to communicate in a positive way early on. 

Mombie -- thank you for the welcome.  I am sorry you  had a rough day today but you have an inner strength that you can rely on, we all have that and you can do this.   5 more!  Can't wait till I am counting down to single digits.

Cassie Cat -- good luck with your remaining treatments -- also down to 5 -- will be thinking of you and Mombie during the final stretch. 

LM68 --  Love what you told your husband -- you have to take the first step -- one breath at a time, one step at a time.   I have found that practicing gentle yoga and breathing techniques helps me with everything, especially anxiety.   And you don't have to do anything too complicated (unless you want to).  Simply focus on your breath -- breath in and breath out.   There are so many useful tools you can develop and use.  And if medication helps, using that as well. 

Curlykat -- I am also diagnosed with GAD and found yoga to be key for managing anxiety.  I also teach gentle yoga and workout.  Good for you for practicing breath work in pre-op.  I thought I would practice ujjayi but ended up with a simple mantra -- breathing in and breathing out -- and it worked and it helps me during my radiation treatment as well.  Also listen to relaxation CD's at night.  And for mediation (which is very brief right now) I use lovingkindness (metta) mediation: 

Wishing us all a peaceful and happy night -- May we all be safe, May we all be happy, May we all be healthy, May we all live with ease.

Jean--You are right. So far my results have been pretty neat. I had cause for an MRI after just one week of chemo (Carboplatin, Taxotere, Herceptin, Perjeta). The radiologist came in personally and told me that he was excited to see that my tumor was already significantly affected. I had no tumor left at all when it was time for surgery. They just took a margin of tissue and took axillary nodes. Biopsy showed ZERO cancer cells, not even one or two dead ones. I am super grateful for this treatment. While I struggle with certain aspects of this journey, I count my blessings for the successes. You are good to help me keep that in mind.

DJCR--Happy to hear that treatment was better for you today. You are smart to talk to your techs like you are doing. Thanks for the extra vote of confidence. Yoga is something I haven't tried to help anxiety. Looks like I have something new to try.

Farmdau--I haven't had to have fluid drained, but I have had severe joint, muscle and bone pain. There are days when I can barely move and no pain relievers help. I was told it was from my herceptin infusions (which I continue to get every three weeks). I recently found out, from another gal, that if I have them slow down the infusion to 90 minutes instead of 60, it will help the problem. Not sure if I'm helping with my answer because your chemo was different than mine. But I sympathize with your difficulty. I hope your docs can identify the problem and that it can be solved.

I hope everyone is busy having pleasant dreams. I think I'm going to read a book. Not sleepy in the least bit. I do love the quiet of the night though.

Thanks all, for helping me through the day. Hugs all around.

When I had my Axillary lymph node dissection after chemo they removed levels 1-2 and a few nodes from level 3. They only found 2 positive nodes, both in level 1 and the cancer cells in both nodes were dead from the chemo. Go chemo, yeah! Love, Jean

Mombie - gentle hugs! This is the dvd I ordered:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0036LG0F4/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I've had some trauma training in my yoga teacher training, but nothing for breast cancer, and making the move to gentle yoga will be a challenge for me.

DJCRI - than you for the reminder of the metta meditation!

allicat1214 ... Your story is somewhat similar to mine.  I was actually ON THE SIM table for rads, thinking all I needed was the surgery I had, then radiation......only to be yanked off the table because the Oncotype score JUST came in...at 34.  That was a kick in the gut!  So off I went for 4 rounds of TC.  The chemo wasn't as brutal, for me...as the Neulasta shot (given to increase bone marrow production).  Every bone ached...even my teeth...but  lasted 2-3 days, and I was given Vicaprohin (Advil didn't cut it).  I had my chemo's on Thursdays... so my worst days were Sunday/Monday....some times I stayed home Mon/Tues, but for the most part, was able to continue working.

It sucks that most of us are probably OVER treated, heck for 85% surgery is enough!  But but but.....

(by the way, Geaux Saints!  Huge fans here...our entire basement is black/white/gold and fleur di lis everything!)

I've completed my 1st week of rads now....yeah!  So far, no SE's and anxiety almost nill.  Either way, time passes us by, might as well be doing something to fight cancer!  

Ginny

Actually, my onc. told me the muscle pain is a side effect of the steroids (dexamethasone) taken along with the chemo. drugs. She said the best treatment is to exercise and do weight training, but that has been frustrating for me because once I started to walk more (nothing very strenuous) I had the knee pain and swelling. Might not be chemo. related at all, but I've not had this before. I guess I just have to take it slow.

Mombie, I can't believe you're down to 4 to go!! That's terrific. Enjoy your weekend with your relatives. I'm hoping the weather stays nice....

Mombie -- maybe you have two angles because they are doing both the lumpectomy site and the lymph node area (?). My radiation therapist told me that they wouldn't have to map out my boosts ahead of time because they've already created a plan for my boosts from the CT scan they did of me earlier. Yes, I'm looking forward to my weekend reprieve, too.

Jean -- how funny! Radiation is such an awkward business that it really helps to have a sense of humor about it.

Enjoy the weekend everyone!

I've got just three left - 1 regular and 2 boosts. Have a good weekend, everyone.

I am just starting out had 3 sessions. I asked my tech if the radiation would affect my back and he said no. Mombiezombie I asked Because of your post. My concern is the whole heart thing as mine is on the left side. I ask a lot of questions and he stated most people just are like "whatever". I told him that was not me, I needed to be fully informed. so for now I'm done asking questions. Im already on the table and committed to the whole thing. I just feel like they down play everything which makes me distrust. anyone else feel this way

Two weeks down! Two weeks to go! Monday I have my planning session for the last week which is the tumor bed boost. I am pretty pink but it seems to only have gotten mildly worse. The swelling is def still there. So ready for this to be over.