MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
Comments
-
Beergirl, that sounds about as good as it can be, all things considered. If you don't need radiation, your chances of a good reconstruction outcome, by either method, are vastly improved.
But since you asked for info, I thought I would throw in there that it is also an option not to reconstruct. I was asked to wait with recon for 2 years. This gave me time to a) find out what it was like living the boobless life, and it really isn't that big a deal, for me anyway, and b) really research methods and outcomes of recon, including looking at a gazillion before/afters.
-
Momine, Radiation isn't really an option, since I had radiation on the same breast the first time around.
So, have you decided to continue the boobless life? I think my husband is sadder about me losing my boobs than I am.....I love him to death, but he's a typical guy. We women seem to be more pragmatic about things.....and deal with health problems better. LOL I told him to look at the positive side....I'll have the boobs of a 20-something instead of a 50-something. Bless his heart, he said my boobs are just fine how they are!
I have looked at a gazillion before/afters. What i would like to see is photos from both of my potential plastic surgeons, including women several years down the line, so I can see them after procedures have been fully completed and scarring has faded. My only thought is that the skin will still be pliable and there will be a sufficient amount if I have the immediate reconstruction. I actually watched a video of a DIEP flap surgery, which was fascinating. I have lots of questions for the two breast surgeons and plastic surgeons. I have my first consult today.
-
Beergirl, yes, I am in my 4th flat year. I wear minimal foobs when out and about, usually anyway. You should definitely ask how the prior radiation will affect outcomes.
It is a very personal matter, and I am not trying to tell you what you should do. Just thought I would offer yet another perspective on it. In my case, because of minimal tissue (very little muscle on my upper body) and lots of rads, my chances of a decent outcome are virtually non-existent. Flaps are not an option for me (no tissue). Each case is different though, and it sounds as if you should have a great chance of a good outcome. Do ask lots of questions is all. Those PSs tend to think they can do miracles and like to downplay complications etc.
-
Hi beergirl, Whatever you choose, you will be happy because you are a proactive patient who is researching everything. Great job! Now, I'll weigh in with my personal opinion.
You will not have the boobs of a 20 year old. You will have the foobs of a 50 year old. You will feel temperature and pressure. You will likely lose all the sexual stimulation of your breasts. Ask you PS about this with great specificity. My husband figured out pretty quickly that Tweedle-Dee not Tweedle-numb is where all the action was. Tweedle-numb was a convenience for me that I didn't want the bother of prosthetics and I'm too vain to walk around asymmetrical/lopsided. Also, the more invasive a surgery, the more parts cut, mean the more potential for pain, screw ups/surprises and longer recovery time. Just factor that in about recovery.
You didn't mention if you've any plans for nipples? areolas? sparing? Again- if sparing- any nerves cut? Please fill us in. A fellow traveler I know went for the fat grafted nipple after a latissimus dorsi and it got infected. It didn't take the first time. Hurt like heck and eventually they got it right. Also, some women talk about how they get a "tummy tuck" with the DIEP. It also adds more pain and recovery time. But, they heal (and now have a lovely massive scar to go with the breast scars.
I was very, very fit when I had my MX. I couldn't wait to have my lift and squishy installed because i HATED my TE. That surgery was done at my urging, 90 days post my MX. It wiped me out. Two major surgeries within 90 days really clobbered me and the AI meds kicked in during recovery to smack me with joint pain, cognitive function, hot flashes etc. on top of recovering from surgery.
It is becoming more common for women to not reconstruct. Depending on my age, I could see myself not reconstructing if I had a recurrence. BCO has a section on reconstruction. I have a blog on it with photos. If you are interested, PM me and I'll send you the URL.
You will make the right decision for you because you are thoroughly doing your homework and are prepared to ask lots of questions of your surgeons. You're not shrinking from that. Keep us informed. We're rooting for you.
-
I didn't take it at all as you trying to tell me what to do. I appreciate your frankness. I didn't have too many after effects from the rads. I have plenty of abdominal tissue.... LOL! So a flap should be an option for me. Of course, I will ask the PSs to show me photos of their best outcome and their average or normal outcomes. I'm planning to ask the BSs as many questions as possible, since they might be less prejudiced than the PSs.
-
Each person decides for themselves which is the right way to go.
When someone "keeps it real," like Deb2012, the purpose is not to steer one way or the other but to provoke another into thoughts and questions for discussion with their own surgical/treatment team. I think that is very helpful.
I follow beergirl63's story with interest because her initial Dx was very similar to mine and I am about as far out as she is too. I think if I ended up with recurrence, I'd not bother with reconstruction because I'm on the small side anyway, so flat would not be that big of a change for me, looks wise. Mentally, ALL the options freak me out. It's that cutting on the body thing. But, I do understand that recon surgery to return the body to "the way it was" (or some semblance thereof) is one more step that many do need to move forward, which is the important part.
-
Thanks for all the info, Deborah2012. You have all given me a lot to think about. I think I sent a private message in response to Deborah2012's offer to send me the URL of the photo gallery to the wrong person....sorry in advance.
Okay....noob question - what are foobs? Fake boobs? Oncologist said no nipple conserving on left breast since this is second time around. I want to ask about right breast nipple conserving.
What are thoughts on bilateral even though only left is absolutely necessary medically?
-
Beergirl, yes "foobs" are fake boobs, whether the built-in kind or the stick-in-your-bra type. I razed the whole rack, although I only had a DX for righty. However, lefty was full of LCIS it turned out. Again, that is very personal. It is a fact that you lose sensation with the BMX. The recon will make you look like you have boobs when you are wearing clothes, but they won't work like boobs. For that reason some women choose to keep the healthy breast, to retain sexual function, and that does make a lot of sense.
-
Well, as I said I only have DX for lefty. And, to be honest, I hate the thought of losing sensation. Just still not sure. Maybe I'll just go the crooked route and call it a day so I can at least have sensation in righty. I definitely have a lot to think about.... my sister is going with me to my consults. We will have LOTS of questions. I have always been proactive and always believe in speaking up and researching and being informed. I know all this is especially important with this stinking enemy of ours. I am very happy I found this forum. You lady sisters are a true inspiration and a definite source of awesome information.
I really appreciate all the honest, straightforward feedback that you have all provided. It is extremely thought-provoking and gives me a perspective I couldn't get anywhere else.
-
I'm 53 yrs old (until 3/26) have two adult kids that are doing great and are very supportive. DH is also pretty supportive but things changed about 7 years ago so not what it could be,,,,I feel this recurrence was my body telling me to slow down, examine your priorities, debts, etc. The issue I have is I will probably never be able to take off work and enjoy any kind of retirement because we borrowed so much in student loans for our kids. I don't regret it for a second and I spent money foolishly over the years sometimes retail therapy. I want to do so many things still like travel outside of the country, inside of this country, hike at least a big part of the AT, go on a cruise, see Italy, and the list goes on. Maybe what I'm trying to say is how did I get here? I've heard people ask that question and was baffled by their confusion. I am so grateful for the things that I have but it's the experiences I'd like to have before this Stage 2 morphs or whatever it does, into something more. With a unimx in 2011 with "just DCIS" I was quoted a less than 1% chance of recurrence but the first week in Feb I found a hard round something that turned out to be a triple positive 2.2 c tumor. Had it removed, started chemo this past Tues. Planned to return to work on Tues but having some trouble keeping anything inside me! Starting on the BRAT diet and Imodium in hopes it will resolve.
Thanks for the chance to vent and be heard by those who are most likely to understand.
If you have room for one more sister in this group I'd love to join up!
-
DavisD: always room for one more. Sorry you have to join the club. -
DavisD, welcome! Sorry you are another to show up with the "R-word" (recurrence.) Both you and beergirl63 had the kind of prognoses that is usually labelled as "good" but cancer does not seem to follow the rules too well. I think when it is the second time around, it is not so much the knowledge that you need, but just support to do it all again. We are here for ya!
I am sure you have quite a bit of info. about recon that you could share with beergirl63. I have a question along those lines...You had recon...then, since you found the hard lump yourself, how did a 2 CM palpable lump get overlooked by mammogram? Is it more difficult to image breasts that are reconstructed?
-
Eli- Regarding DavisD's recurrence, it looks like she had an implant placed, so that breast would not have been mammo'd. As a uni with a mastectomy and only one implant, I was (and am) a bit concerned about that. I asked about MRI or ultrasound for righty in conjunction with the mammo on lefty, but didn't push it last year. I think I read that doing those procedures every three years is standard, although it differs among care providers. When I feel the need, I will definitely push to get it done, and thus far, I've been able to get what I want done through Kaiser. But I've often had to stand firm before my wish was granted.
You ladies with recurrences provide a reminder to us all that we need to remain vigilant, no matter how far away from our original dx. My heart aches for you for having to go through it again. But you know the ropes, and you'll get through the course...again.
-
SnS, of course! I was getting myself confused between her and bg63, who did have Lx + rads. Yes, with Mx and no recon they don't have anything left to squich in the squisher; and so with recon it would basically be the same because it would just be the implant and some skin to image anyway. I am guessing that an implant might be too delicate to withstand the usual 1,000 lb. psi our breasts normally have to endure for the squishing? Still, something needs to check on the ol' chest wall now and then, doesn't it?
I am really quite ignorant about all things implant & recon., so forgive me.
-
Thanks for such a warm welcome! To answer your question regarding how this could be missed/happen at all-my annual follow up wasn't due until July. Fortunately my PS really stressed I would need to massage the fake breast/implant every night w/cream for as long as I had it. I had a skin sparing, nipple sparing mx finally completed in 2012. On my "good side" I have atypical lobular hyperplasia and even though the first surgeon wanted to take them both I got a second opinion. The BS I went with didn't see the need, thought we could monitor closely. And so we did, every year I was certain I'd be called back and every year "your stable." So when I felt a hard marble like something below the implant around the incision site I was sure it had to be something broken off from the implant. Saw the PS first. "Nope but it needs to come out and biopsied." Scheduled for 2/23. In the meantime I found another tiny knot which freaked me out. Called the BS who promptly squeezed me in. Still not worried. Remember less than 1% chance of it being anything? I think I knew by her expression and "I don't like the way this looks." She took a sample right in the office and it came back positive for cancer that week.(The tiny thingy wasn't anything but it prompted me to get on the phone to her) The plan changed and the two surgeons worked together removing the 2.2 c tumor, sent node biopsy and new implant to replace the previous one (had some issues). I really expected the other side to rear an ugly head so to speak, but not this..I can't change it though and I'm just trying to stay as positive as I can. I'm sad and a little angry sometimes but right now I'm just trying to adapt to having chemo which I didn't have with DCIS.
I really wanted to share this because even though the chances are slim, we all should stay vigilant. This is our lives on the line.
Thanks again for the warm welcome and I will read this thread so I can know what my 40-60 sisters are dealing with and hopefully offer some support.
-
Good news of the day. I passed my CT scan with flying colors!
The bad news is my liver has not "slimmed down." Leave it to me to have a rebellious, stubborn liver.
p.s. BTW, I am not saying it is at the root of my chubb-ed up liver, but the drug Tamoxifen can contribute to "fatty liver disease."
My final event of the follow-up triathalon will be in a few more days when my CRC surgeon gives me a cursory groping. (DRE...Google it...TMI...Ahahaha!)
-
-
Hey Elimar,
What are you trying to be some ambassador for the foie gras crowd? First a bacon tiara and now a fatty liver. Sheesh!
Smiles for the clear CT.
-
There's just no reasoning with a wayward liver like that. If the tiara fits, I gotta wear it.
-
LOL!!!
-
Ok, Elimar, I've been wanting a cake - not a slice, a cake - thanks to you! And what a happy baker - wonder what she is on?
Day 10 of 21 Rads today. So far so good. Hot, red and braless. Sounds like a bad movie title. I am 5 weeks out of taxol and still have some neuropathy and muscle pain. WHEN will this stop? Happy Tuesday, Linda
-
Welcome beergirl! It stinks that you're having to make all these decisions again. Sounds like you are doing a good job researching all of your options so you can feel confident whatever you choose it was the right decision for you. At the moment I can't even fathom thinking about what I would do. In fact, the thought of it makes me want to go lay down! My autocorrect kept changing your name to bargirl! That's alright, because Elimar is Elmira and Momine is Moline. I wish it would stop 'helping' me.
Hello BookLady! Welcome to our little group of sisters-in-crime. Sounds better than BC sisters, so I'm going with misbehaving! At this age my crimes will no doubt be reduced to eating bad things - like cake! And drinking Coke, BWAHAHA! I say as I diligently sip my green tea and eat my Honeycrisp apple. ... sigh... And I don't know what made that lady in the picture so happy baking a cake, but I want some of what she had!
And welcome to you DavisD! Sorry the sneaky bastard came back for you, too. You're right, we always have to remain vigilant even as we try to put it out of our minds. Quite a mental balancing act. I noticed your Her2 status changed. Were you Her2 equivocal before? I was and nowadays BC patients with my Her2 results would be given Herceptin. I wish I was able to get it 5 years ago.
My mother was diagnosed in 2002 and she was Her2+ but that was before Herceptin was available and she's doing fine. But at the age of 88, how fast do cells move anyway? I know that sounds facetious, but it seems kind of logical.
Elmira, congratulations on the great CT results! I love that feeling! Now you can chalk it off your calendar for another year... or so. I kind of like to stretch these scan-things out. I'm going to read that link you provided about radiation considering I just had a breast MRI and now I'm scheduled for a spinal MRI. I might s-t-r-e-t-c-h that one out after reading that article.
Take care my sisters and try to behave yourselves - if you feel like it, that is.
-
Hi, BookLady1! Hot Red & Braless does sound like a movie title, possibly a sequel to that chick budddy-flick: Elmira & Moline. (It's like Thelma & Louise except they LIVE!!!) I am intrigues by your 21 rads. ??? The usual is about 33 (and the Canadians protocol is like 15-16,) so what up with the 21? Are your fractions a larger dose?
-
Booklady & Heartnsoul,
You were the best smiles today I had. Thank you! Hot, Red, and braless is hysterical! Hearnsoul, - you have a great writing style. Elimar's perspective and comments always entertain & educate me.
If laughter kills/retards cancer cell development- you three ladies are positively therapeutic. I LOVE the middies! Thanks for being the "cherry on top" of my already good day.
-
Deborah, I am certain that laughter is a cancer killer.
-
Haha, Deborah! Glad we brought a smile to your face! Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever serious...
Of course BC has introduced a new level of seriousness to my carefree life, but it's still well under control. Sometimes I also wonder if I worry enough!?!?!
I have all kinds of problems though. But things have always worked out in the past so I quit worrying. I think the turning point was living with my horrible ex-husband. He was a pathological liar, too slippery to ever catch. So I finally said, oh just f*ck it! And that is how I learned to stop worrying and love the.... RUM!
-
Oh! And what Momine said about laughter reminded me of this yoga exercise:
-
Love the Laughter Yoga!
-
Went for my first mammogram yesterday and after two hours, extra pics, and an US - I'm in the clear on my surviving boobie!
-
HomeMom- Celebrating good news with you! May all subsequent mammograms be uneventful!
Categories
- All Categories
- 679 Advocacy and Fund-Raising
- 289 Advocacy
- 68 I've Donated to Breastcancer.org in honor of....
- Test
- 322 Walks, Runs and Fundraising Events for Breastcancer.org
- 5.6K Community Connections
- 282 Middle Age 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 53 Australians and New Zealanders Affected by Breast Cancer
- 208 Black Women or Men With Breast Cancer
- 684 Canadians Affected by Breast Cancer
- 1.5K Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
- 455 Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets
- 260 High Risk of Recurrence or Second Breast Cancer
- 22 International, Non-English Speakers With Breast Cancer
- 16 Latinas/Hispanics With Breast Cancer
- 189 LGBTQA+ With Breast Cancer
- 152 May Their Memory Live On
- 85 Member Matchup & Virtual Support Meetups
- 375 Members by Location
- 291 Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 177 Singles With Breast Cancer
- 869 Young With Breast Cancer
- 50.4K Connecting With Others Who Have a Similar Diagnosis
- 204 Breast Cancer with Another Diagnosis or Comorbidity
- 4K DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)
- 79 DCIS plus HER2-positive Microinvasion
- 529 Genetic Testing
- 2.2K HER2+ (Positive) Breast Cancer
- 1.5K IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer)
- 3.4K IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)
- 1.5K ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)
- 999 Just Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastasis
- 652 LCIS (Lobular Carcinoma In Situ)
- 193 Less Common Types of Breast Cancer
- 252 Male Breast Cancer
- 86 Mixed Type Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned
- 189 Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care
- 488 Second or Third Breast Cancer
- 1.2K Stage I Breast Cancer
- 313 Stage II Breast Cancer
- 3.8K Stage III Breast Cancer
- 2.5K Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
- 13.1K Day-to-Day Matters
- 132 All things COVID-19 or coronavirus
- 87 BCO Free-Cycle: Give or Trade Items Related to Breast Cancer
- 5.9K Clinical Trials, Research News, Podcasts, and Study Results
- 86 Coping with Holidays, Special Days and Anniversaries
- 828 Employment, Insurance, and Other Financial Issues
- 101 Family and Family Planning Matters
- Family Issues for Those Who Have Breast Cancer
- 26 Furry friends
- 1.8K Humor and Games
- 1.6K Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts
- 706 Recipe Swap for Healthy Living
- 704 Recommend Your Resources
- 171 Sex & Relationship Matters
- 9 The Political Corner
- 874 Working on Your Fitness
- 4.5K Moving On & Finding Inspiration After Breast Cancer
- 394 Bonded by Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Life After Breast Cancer
- 806 Prayers and Spiritual Support
- 285 Who or What Inspires You?
- 28.7K Not Diagnosed But Concerned
- 1K Benign Breast Conditions
- 2.3K High Risk for Breast Cancer
- 18K Not Diagnosed But Worried
- 7.4K Waiting for Test Results
- 603 Site News and Announcements
- 560 Comments, Suggestions, Feature Requests
- 39 Mod Announcements, Breastcancer.org News, Blog Entries, Podcasts
- 4 Survey, Interview and Participant Requests: Need your Help!
- 61.9K Tests, Treatments & Side Effects
- 586 Alternative Medicine
- 255 Bone Health and Bone Loss
- 11.4K Breast Reconstruction
- 7.9K Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 2.7K Complementary and Holistic Medicine and Treatment
- 775 Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results
- 7.8K Hormonal Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 50 Immunotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 7.4K Just Diagnosed
- 1.4K Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy
- 5.2K Lymphedema
- 3.6K Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment
- 591 Pain
- 3.9K Radiation Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 8.4K Surgery - Before, During, and After
- 109 Welcome to Breastcancer.org
- 98 Acknowledging and honoring our Community
- 11 Info & Resources for New Patients & Members From the Team