Starting Chemo March 2015

Ninja: I swear all the people who make life difficult for cancer patients in any way should be killed. Glad you are going elsewhere for the wig.

hi all-

wow, i've been off for several days and there are so many posts.

princess and those who have debated about when to go public with the BC news- i know that feeling. over the last several years a lot of my life has become way more public that i would have ever thought i'd be comfortable with (i'm a chef in LA) and i thought quite a bit before i put the word out that i had cancer. i decided that letting people know and getting a chance to control the message was a good idea for me, even though i'd much rather have done all of my journey in a much much more private fashion. it was a good thing- there were rumors starting to go about my "dying". since letting folks know i have been stunned and awed at the support and love i've received by friends near and distant and "fb". i'm not posting daily updates (or anything even close) on my road, but what i have felt comfortable sharing has given many people the opportunity to step up and lend a hand- more than i'd ever imagined. i'm grateful for it every second.

i'm almost done with my week 2- taxotere and cytoxan w/neulasta shot. not going to sugar coat it, the first week for me was very very rough, lots of side effects a couple of allergic reactions. it took me until yesterday to feel close to normal. the neulasta shot kicked me hard (ended up needing oxycontin to deal with the pain, but have tapered off over the last couple of days), but my wbc is super high, so my MO is very happy and wants to stay the course on everything. he says that the first treatment is the worst, and i'm crossing my fingers that he's right. i don't know if i can do 3 more treatment weeks like that or worse. right now i'm focussing on this weekend and next week of "normal' before i start again.

biggest helping note for you ladies getting ready to start - flushable wipes and desitin are wonderful things. also as pretty much everyone else has said, stay ahead of the nausea. that and find things that make you laugh. last night it was playing gin rummy with gigantic playing cards and bob's burgers on youtube. laughing is very very important. cheers to you all, wishing you a wonderful and easy weekend..

michele

jackbirdie thank you for posting as much as you do, and being such an amazing cheerleader.

i'm in and out of this forum (was feeling pretty crappy for the most part of the last week and a half) and am just catching up.

the big advice i got from my team about medical marijuana was to not smoke it, they didn't want anything in the lungs. to stick with edibles or oil and to do very very small amounts. i've never smoked pot or had it in any other form, so this seems doable-and if it will help with the nausea etc, i'm all for it

I've also given up the idea of things being fair or not. Princess- I'm so sorry for your loss. Real life instances don't stop because of our diagnosis. It's like an avalanche, things just kind of pile on top of each other. I've been drowning the last few days in all of the other life issues I have going on, in addition to this new breast cancer life.

I get my blood drawn the day before chemo. No mention of Neulasta shot for me, but I'm guessing that's because of my age? I'm not sure though. I hadn't heard of it until this board.

Thanks for all of your advice about the job. I'm going in to HR next week and going to tell them I have a medical issues and need to miss a day, and then I'll go from there...

Getting anxious for infusion #2 next week. It's so bittersweet. Can't wait to have another infusion behind me, but worried about dealing with the SE's all over again.

I also only told friends and family about my diagnosis. Not sure yet about going public, but a friend pointed out that maybe I'd feel better not hiding it. Like a weight off my shoulders. I still haven't made that decision yet though. I don't like the idea of people feeling sorry for me, or a false sense of pity. Sigh.

Hello, all. I'm not on the board much this week after my AC number 2. Side effects have been different this round than last time, but it's been another hard week. Nausea has been worse these week, and staying hydrated is a challenge. I've been sitting quite still, so as not to disturb my tummy, but my scalp feels terrible, and I'm pulling my hair off in chunks. It's about 75% gone now, and very patchy. I'm hanging on to the idea that it will feel better once it's gone, and I'm sure it will look better, too. I think that if my stomach calms down a bit I will pull myself together and go visit my mom. She's about a 20 minute drive away, and it might lift my spirits.

I'm pretty foggy, so keeping up with the boards is tough this week. Healing thoughts to all.

I just went for my neulasta shot today. I woke up feeling kind of icky, but I took one of my anti-nausea meds. It was hard making my son's breakfast and lunch this morning. I was feeling nauseas so I grabbed what was closest, Goldfish! They worked just as well as saltines. Life with a young kid around.

One of the hardest things for me going public was the feeling that I'll be opening myself up to people's pity, but in reality everyone's been so helpful and kind. At work I had to go public otherwise people would be wondering why I was taking afternoons off and working from home so much. I've been sharing my journey on my blog, I'm pretty straight forward and avoid the mushiness and TMI. My latest post was about opening ourselves to help. It's been the most difficult barrier so far. For those that are curious (www.jmilanes.com). My in real life name is Joanna, but my last name is no longer the one on the website I created the page in my single days and it's been different things over the years. With what's going on its had the most site hits ever, go figure!

I worked from home today and it was great. I was able to keep myself hydrated and eating...and man have I eaten today. I've been so hungry from the steroids. I had a huge cheeseburger and fries for lunch. I know that tomorrow I won't able to so I might as well get the calories in when I can.

Wow, that was long! I'll blame the steroids.

Avmom-sorry to hear you're struggling.,sending you my very warmest and gentlest of hugs.

Migrantt- thanks for the kind words. It is hard to keep up with it all. I don't have young children and a job, or even a husband to worry about like so many of us do, and I feel bad that I'm getting off easy. The least I can do is offer my support and friendship, and it is genuine. I always look forward to seeing you pop up on the thread.

It's a comfort food kind of night. This Neulasta shot is kicking my butt today!

Trying to learn from all of you doing AC. I did TC last time which is much different. Did anyone do port insertion and chemo on the same day? Tha is what it looks like I will be doing. The night before, about 10 of my buddies from work will all shave their heads with me. It was the only "fun" part of chemo last time. 11 days and counting

Thanks for the info. I was trying to get BS to jus use a local, but that was not an option. I will try to barter again on insertion day

Shaz- you only go around once. There is never "too" much of anything! I will, however, mention that steroids are capable of ramping your brain up to manic levels, even if you are not bipolar. And just because you only take them for 4-5 days, they are in your system a long time. Before they are fully out of your system it's time for a new dose and the next chemo, and you get jerked around again. It is a cycle which is sure to have cumulative effects over the course of your entire chemo treatment.

Being a bona fide expert on mania, and having purchased a whole houseful of furniture (refinished used, not super expensive, but enough!), during the time in the last 2 weeks of steroid use, I have compiled a short list of symptoms that you may use to identify, use an an excuse when your husband gets to the credit card bill first, or to assist your defense lawyers help build your case.

1) shopping for clothes, jewelry, bulk purchases of items to go into your chemo bag, online, any time between 2am and 4am.

2) looking at houses for sale on zillow or other sites, between the hours of 2 and 4am, if you were not looking to move during the middle of a 4-6 course of chemo.

3) scanning Craigslist in any categories between 2-4am

4) alphabetizing your spices

5) feeling really good while driving, windows rolled down, some music you haven't listened to since high school blasting through the speakers, at excessive rates of speed. Any time of day or night. If pulled over, starting by asking the cop if he wants to see your mastectomy scar, as that it the reason your seat belt isn't on. It still hurts like hell.

6) this is for you, Shaz- daydreaming is ok, but making any serious plans to sell your stake, and hitchhike around the world should be undertaken several months after you are off steroids. I think it's a very cool idea. I'm not saying no. Just not right now. Order brochures. Watch documentaries. Assess and research the real market value of your property. Tidy up your finances. All of this will be beneficial to you no matter where your head is once get through this. Hope that didn't sound sound like a lecture. I think it is perfectly normal, when staring down the barrel of mortality to review our decisions, past and future.

The common thread running through this business about steroids is credit cards, Internet, and the wee hours.

Keep them apart

Italychick- you look great in your new wig! What a hottie!

Wilkigirl & Ninja welcome!!! if I forgot to say so before. Wilki:The white count can be a problem immediately after the infusion, up to two weeks after. At my infusion center, I go for blood work every week, and they take it again immediately before infusion. There have been big differences among us in this group as to when and if wbcs go down.

They also watch the baby whites, neutrophils, mine when down a lot after one week, then started making a comeback this week. They keep a close watch on these and a few other key blood numbers.

Eheinrich welcome! You start chemo Monday, on my birthday! Try not to be nervous. They know what they are doing, and will keep you busy, time will fly, then you will just have to see which, if any, SEs you experience. Make sure you get your chemo bag with things to do, tricks of the trade, ready this weekend. This thread has tons of suggestions, and elsewhere on this site there are suggested lists of things to have on hand.