Anxiety dealing with all of this

Stinkerbelle
Stinkerbelle Member Posts: 5
edited March 2015 in DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)

Hi everyone- my name is Christine. I was recently diagnosed with DCIS on January 30th of this year. One week before my 44th birthday. Back in December of last year I had my annual mammogram. I've been getting them since age 40. Anyway, first mammo came back showing calcifications. Had to go back and have a special view mammo. Was called in and talked to by the radiologist and told I needed a sterostatic biopsy. I had that done. The following afternoon I received the dreaded phone call. Focal ducal carcinoma in situ, nuclear grade 2/3, clinging and micropapillary type with comedonecrosis.Anyway fast forward to today. I've had the lumpectomy and removal of two axillary lymph nodes. I've met with the medical oncologist and radiation oncologist. I've been told I have to have 28 sessions of radiation (regular) and 5 boosts. After radiation I will be taking Tamoxifen for 5 years. I have my post op mammo next week and then a CT scan so a form can be made to keep me stabilized during treatment most likely the following week. I've been dealing with all this pretty good up until this week I've been crying on and off all week. I'm afraid of reoccurance of DCIS, a new cancer like a micro invasion or ultimately this beast cropping up elsewhere in me and killing me. I'm scared to death. If I have an ache or pain, I go into a mini panic. My breast surgeon got clean margins and no cancer in the removed nodes. I can't stand this emotional and scary ride!!

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited March 2015

    Dear Christine, welcome to BCO where you will find others who have gone through similar to you and will assist with feedback and support while letting you vent your emotions. You are not alone in feeling as you do, it is only natural to grieve and fear the future at first.

    Besides sharing your experiences and learning from other members here at the boards, you may also want to take a look at the Breast Cancer 101section from the main site, which is designed to help you sort through all of the information on our site to find what is more relevant to you right now.

    Also it relevant to read from our main site reliable information on DCIS — Ductal Carcinoma In Situ, Diagnosis of DCIS where you'll learn about symptoms, diagnosis, treatment, etc.

    You might want to check out our sections on Mood Swings and Depression. We hope this helps.

    All the best,

    The Mods

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  • SunnySydeUp
    SunnySydeUp Member Posts: 21
    edited March 2015

    Hi Stinker belle. Welcome to the forum. My case is similar to yours but with no node involvement. Yes, this is an incredible roller coaster of emotion, especially in the early days. Like you, my biggest fear is recurrence or a new cancer. I think most of us share that fear. Please know you will find strength you never even knew existed within yourself. The time lag btw dx/ surgery and waiting for rads to start is tough. The shock has worn off but the fear hasn't. During rads, you just take it one day at a time. We can't predict the future. I am so grateful my BC was caught early. And I am already halfway done with my rads, it really does go by fast! Hugs to you, you can do this!

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  • florida2015
    florida2015 Member Posts: 186
    edited March 2015

    any side effects from radiation?

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  • SunnySydeUp
    SunnySydeUp Member Posts: 21
    edited March 2015

    Hi Florida,

    Finished 17 of 25 regular rads and then 7 boosts to follow. I've been very lucky so far. Just a bit of a sunburn and some mild fatigue. Still working full-time and doing all the things I love to do

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  • Donna-Dew
    Donna-Dew Member Posts: 264
    edited March 2015

    Hello Christine,

    So glad you found BCO! And I totally get how you are feeling! You had lots happening in a very short period of time and it sounds like you went through the motions of getting it all done and only now are you having a chance to get your mind around everything. It's alot to process!! I was anxious waiting on test results, then I calmed down when I got my results and treatment plan. But then I had more time to do research, and like you at times I am very fearful. And yes I definitely worry more about every ache and pain too! The past 2 weeks I had pain in my clavicle for no reason and I mentioned this to my doctor today during my pre-op physical. It is definitely a scary ride and I so want off. However I am trusting that we are going to feel better as we go through this... one of the nurses said to me, you can't go around this, you have to go through... and I'm thinking I have to "grow" through. Crying is definitely needed, I try not to, but really it is so cleansing and we have to get it out so that we can feel better for treatment. Yeah but sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball too lol!! I think we can sometimes get too far ahead with what-if's... what if my SNB is positive, or what if they find IDC after my surgical pathology. It's really hard to live in the present, and doing it one step at a time. HOWEVER, there is lots of support here Christine so I hope you stay and get to know the girls here. So many different stories and we get it. I wear a mask with the outside world because sometimes I want to be strong and in control for all the family and friends who are worried, but here in the discussion threads that mask can come off and I am so grateful. Hope this helps a little.

    Keep posting and let us know how you are doing!

    Donna

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