DCIS and Brac2 postive

I am only 35 with no history in my family of breast or ovarian cancer so this is a bit shocking and hard to swallow.

Docs are amazing I even kept my mammo appt and positive that I found it so early. As anyone of you know this is not something you want to go through so its hard to hear one test result after another. I went in because I felt a lump. The lump seem to disapper after 4 to 5day however my mammo was 2 weeks after my doc appt. the doc thought is could just be a cyst but wanted to double check. This was my first mammo ever. There for first biopy ever which the biopsy was very uneasy painful and scary. 3 days later I got the call it was DCIS and meet with a breast surgeon. She thought it would be wise to take the gene testing. One week after gene testing I found to be postive for BRAC2. I am now facing to decide for a double mastectomy and revome my ovaries and tube (NOT in the same day). I feel my life has changed! My heart goes out to the women who are in later stages and I am grateful to find it early but I am still devasted and scared. I know I dont have the right (I think) to feel as bad as some who are going through worst then I am. I cant stop research about this. I cant stop wondering what I will look like after. I know this is something I must face and know what I have to do and dont want to seem vien but the part that sacres me most it looking disfiguered not having the outcome i want/need. I am not new to cosmtic surgies as I had a tummy tuck/lipo done and a breast aug but i was lucky for those result to come out as amazing as they did. I guess I felt how much more luck do i have left that this will goes as well as the others. The risks have me unable to sleep. to top it off I have to tell my family to get tested I am the oldest of 8 kids. my husband is great and really trying to be postive but he feels the less we talk about it the more positive we can be. But not talking it is driving me nuts. Sorry if I am ranting but I am all over the place with this. Some days I am ok with it but other I am overwhlemed with everything. I want to thank all of the women who speak up and have blogs or chats it does help but its still so hard.  I try to speak to my friend and I know its hard for them to heard but I get the "you will get through this" I know that I will get through and sometime dont want to heard I get through but cant help feeling lost and worried of the after math. I sat in my youngest childs room one and cried and felt grateful that I will be around for him and hopefully for my grandchild. am I really worrying too much am i stupid to feel this way knowing it could have been worst??