Breast Cancer mom says no to surgery and chemo

I think it's sad. Also disturbing, her comment about losing her hair is more frightening than.....her life. I am all for alternative therapies, after surgery. But to each their own, I wish her well.

When I read these type of articles, I think if this women could spend time with a stage 4 Breast cancer patient, dealing with what that can be, the tx & pain.

The article includes a link to this young woman's blog, which includes this sentence in the first paragraph:

"For months I had put off going to the doctors about a lump I found in my breast. My partner told me on so many occasions to just get it looked at but deep down I knew something wasn't right."

She's a procrastinator when faced with possible bad news, and now she's in denial about that news. I don't mean for that to sound heartless: I feel for her, as I think we all do, but I think we also all know that those aren't good life skills. I hope her family and her friends can persuade her to become more informed about her situation and to start making good decisions.

Edwards, we are all different, but for me, losing my hair was minor. Dealing with the side effects of Adriamycin was a enormous challenge. I totally understand the fear of aggressive chemo, since I needed to recieve it for my stage 3 lobular Cancer. Yes, I would do it again, if needed to save my life. Life is so precious.

I think it is crazy that she is not at the very least having surgery to remove the tumor. I remember wanting it out of my body so bad when I found out it was there. I truly cannot imagine walking around and feeling that lump all the time not being a wreck. Of course I know we are all different, but I agree it is a bit on the disturbing side that she is taking this approach.

I think a lot of cancer docs are bad at explaining treatment and bad at holding patients' hands. Refusing surgery seems so odd to me too, because I too just wanted the tumor gone.

But I have come across a number of people, who refused surgery because they were convinced that if they had surgery they would also have to have chemo etc, and because they were too scared of the chemo, they refused all treatment.

That, to me, is the doctor's fault. It should be made clear to the patient that each treatment is the patient's choice and that saying "yes" to surgery doesn't mean that you are automatically chained to a hospital bed and given chemo. The woman in the article also brings up the classic, "a friend of mine had chemo and died anyway" Apparently a huge number of people have no idea that chemo can be given with either curative or palliative intent. So they think that when uncle Bob died, after struggling with metastatic prostate cancer for 10 years, it was the chemo that killed him. Uhm, no, the cancer killed him and the chemo was meant to make his breathing more comfortable or reduce his pain level or whatever. But again, doctors need to address these misconceptions.

My own onc has scared at least 2 people, people I knew/know, so badly that the patients refused appropriate treatment, because he failed to address their fears and failed to give them a proper voice in treatment decisions. 1 of them died within a year of DX, the other is now stage 4 and doesn't have long left. Both cases were cancers other than breast, but the problem is the same.

Wow! That is one book I won't buy, I can't believe that broccoli will save my life. All my life I have been very active, ate well, and I have Stage IV. Had I know all those years I was snacking on grapes and tomatoes, celery and apples, and took my vitamins that it was a cure for breast cancer I could have been rich! All hooey I say!

Who is going to take care for her children? Who marks their tumor growth with a sharpie marker to see how big it is? If you can mark the growth, isn't that a problem?? I would think that alone would scare the veggies right out of her.

To each their own, she isn't the first one to try to cure cancer with diet and supplements, nor will she be the last!

I do agree that some Doctors are lacking in people and communication skills, but then again I chose my Doctors because they are Doctors with medical experience and skills that I need to keep me alive.

Having finished AC/T chemo, a mastectomy, and 24/28 rads, I am still coming out on the short end of life. But I hardly consider losing my hair and losing a breast a fair trade to cut my life short at 58. So back to chemo for me...............

"I think it is crazy that she is not at the very least having surgery to remove the tumor. I remember wanting it out of my body so bad when I found out it was there. I truly cannot imagine walking around and feeling that lump all the time not being a wreck. Of course I know we are all different, but I agree it is a bit on the disturbing side that she is taking this approach."

Tangandchris, maybe you didn't mean to be offensive, but did it occur to you that there may be women on here, the alternative board, who also opted out of surgery? Maybe I'm nuts, or maybe I just figured I've lived with it this long and I can go some more, esp if it means getting to keep my breasts. I mean, I really don't understand the hurry to lose them either but I don't go around saying that to people. My breasts have served me well all these years--they've been thru some changes lord and they fed my babies and they give me so much pleasure when I'm with my man. . . it's not so much about vanity as it is the pleasure. So I have an unwelcome visitor but I like to think of her as a messenger.

There are also other reasons one might consider alternative and one thing that jumped out at me in the article was the fact that she had always been leery of chemo and conventional medicine. One thing I've come to learn on this journey--in fact I already knew it--is that how confident you feel in your healthcare will have a lot to do with how likely you are to heal. We've all heard of the placebo effect, but not many know about the noceebo effect, and I did not make this up. If you feel a lack of confidence in your healthcare or think it will hurt you, then it probably will. I started out thinking that I'd do conventional therapy b/c I was so damn scared, but the docs started screwing up almost right away with me which made me lose even more confidence in them, and then I went to my holistic MD and instantly felt comfortable with what they could do for me.

It didn't help that when I was going thru my mom's things, I found a pic of an aunt who'd died of breast cancer and just before she died her skin all peeled off from the chemo--she had 3rd degree burns and it was horrifying in the extreme and I knew that the chances of me ever taking chemo after seeing that pic were slim. I know the chances that would have happened to me are slim too but maybe not as slim for me as for you b/c these things do run in the family I'm sure. Nope, I just came to the conclusion that I'd rather have life in my years than years in my life and don't like being called crazy, b/c I'm not. I'm pretty sure I'm not. Also, I have a friend who is 6 years out from her BC dx and never had surgery either. She looks great at 62--looks at least 10 years younger. As for how I'm doing--I still have a tumor 16 mo later but it hasn't grown. Doc said I could live like this for 30 years but I hope that the tumor will leave. I figure she will when I've learned the lessons she came to teach me--I still have a lot of emotional work to do. But I'm not crazy.

Well you can call her a nutter if you want but you haven't lived her life and have no idea what she's been thru or what or who has shaped her attitudes--she will live it on her own terms though. The whole article was a bit trashy TBH and it concerned me when I saw her stash of vitamins b/c they looked like all the brands that got caught up in the supplement scandal where there were no active substances in there but maybe her beliefs will carry her thru and though I certainly don't think alternative cancer tx is a DIY project, I doubt she has the money for holistic care either. So, I doubt she will make it long but maybe she will have a spontaneous remission and they aren't as rare as people think--I know of 3 people personally who've had it happen--one was so full of cancer they couldn't even operate and now she's healed. She had been a meth addict and went home to make amends with people before she died but was healed instead. The mind can do some amazing things.

I will say this too--I don't come on here very much anymore b/c I feel that this place is very negative towards alternative cancer care and what do I find when I do pop in? I will probably stay away another little while till curiosity gets the best of me.

Meow, were you actually offered chemo?

Piper, it is obviously a loss to have breasts amputated. But it is hard for me to wrap my head around foregoing surgery for the sake of sexual pleasure. You could most likely also keep one of your breasts, even if the "sick" one had to go. But I do understand the concern.

Katcar, your onc is right. Especially in early stages, surgery is considered curative. My great-grandmother had a mastectomy (single MX) back in the 30s. She lived to be 80. The same for the grandmother of a friend of mine. There was no further treatment available back then. If you lived, it was purely because of the surgery.

Piper, ok, thanks for explaining. I am sorry you were treated badly by the medical team.

Some of us "traditional route" patients are also walking around with tumors in our breasts. When my mets were found, surgery was taken off the plate. I cried in the doctor's office as my oncologist explained that statistically, a surgery could not be counted on to extend my life now the cancer had spread to lung and bone.

But if it had been an option, I was ready and willing to do the BMX, if it meant putting cancer behind me. I worry about this woman refusing surgery for her tumor. But I also sympathize. We should know so much more than we do at this point, and we should have more options.

Momine, my surgeon and mo wanted me to do chemo based on my oncodx of 34. I just could not do it. But mo said it is OK they will monitor me closely put me on high surveillance list. But I think I have what others do blood check every 6 months once a year MRI and mammo.

It's okay Tangandchris, I was really crabby last night and quicker than usual to take offense. I think I understand where you're coming from but the surgical team gave me time to get over my first shock and fear and now I hardly ever feel fear about this at all. It's just a part of me that I've learned to live with.