Starting Chemo January 2015

mommacat- I feel horrible for you and the additional stress you have. My daughter had a seizure (her first) recently and my 90 year-old, mentally sharp grandma has been dx with vasculitis. I thought I was stressed! Good vibes are being sent your way to get through this all!!

Brandi- I love your sense of humor! Roof rage! Lol!

Lisaj -thank you for your post. Theoretically I know I will be "normal" again but it sure doesn't feel like it right now! I need to hear it from someone like you. I'm going to look up ice packs to make!!!

Still struggling- I feel ya. I have suffered from depression for years. Go see doctor and go to therapy. If ever there was an event to induce episodic depression or anxiety, I would think cancer is it. I need many hugs from my husband and am being very clingy but that's what I need. I am on meds now- I can guarantee I would have gone on meds if I weren't already on them. Do not think that you won't get through this. I let that go through my mind for a few weeks then I talked to a friend who reminded me how treatable Breast cancer is ( she just finished her chemo). There is sooo much research and there are so many treatment options. I am more afraid of recurrence but one step at a time.

I have a very long day tomorrow and I'm planning to go to bed soon. My daughter had a seizure a couple weeks ago. Our ped was able to get her pushed into a spot with a pediatric neurologist tomorrow at 8 am, then an EEG at 11. Then she has therapy ( she has anxiety about me) at 2pm. Her choir is singing at a red wings game tomorrow night. I don't know how I'm going to make it through it all

Beachbum…I don't know if I will be doing rad after chemo or not. When I initially met with MO, her notes said after mx or lx, rads (with a question mark). I don't know if she meant that would be contingent on the type of surgery I ended up having…or other factors. I've decided on a double mx, so I don't know. Hope your armpit gets to feeling better!

Oh my, jlstacey…sending hugs and good thoughts your way! Good luck with everything tomorrow!!

Wendy…totally agree about access to our medical records. (Maybe it's just me, but I think $25 for them to give you 15 sheets of paper is excessive!) I had never actually seen my mammograms before I went and picked them up to take to my initial BS appointment. Always just relied on that letter saying everything was fine and dandy. When I saw the films, I thought to myself, how on earth could anyone have seen anything abnormal growing in there. Mine are very dense and the BS said that they wouldn't have been able to see it. Wish my letters would've said "inconclusive" not Congratulations.

Ok…maybe those steroid ARE having some effect after all, don't think I've written this much in one sitting, well, ever? Going to go force myself to do something productive (ok, more productive) --Lorie

It's costly,you can make your own. Double gallon ziplock bag. 1 part rubbing alcohol 3 parts water (I think). Freeze it makes a slush. You'll need at least 1 for each hand and foot (so 4 lol!) but 3-4 extra to stay cold the whole time. We would go into chemo with an igloo cooler. Switching when they get less cold. I made little fleece envelopes from an old fleece blanket and put the ice packs in them then wrapped my hands and feet. For my feet I rested my feet on1 and put 1 on topDon't put the ice directly against your skin, it's too cold. For my hands I would grip the ice packs or wrap them around my hands. Ice your hands and feet before the taxol starts and keep on the whole time if possible. I would take a break every once in a while for a few minutes. I never totally lost any nails but my fingernails got pretty thin and peeling. I think the icing helped but will never know. It certainly can't hurt and it gave me a feeling of control that I could do some thing to help help myself during chemo to lessen SE. Some infusion centers now have gel mittens and socks available for pts on taxol.

Loriekg, thank you so much! I'm so glad to know that I am not alone. We have a lot in common. Since I am self-employed I work from home a lot too. My fourth round of chemo is scheduled for March 16 which is the first day of my son's spring break too. I dread having him home all day, but as my husband pointed out, Monday is fine, Tuesday is ok. It is the Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and a few days into the second week that truly suck. My oncologist prescribed Emend my last chemotherapy go round and the nausea/vomiting eased up. I'm going into my second week after chemo which is my best week. I have stopped wearing my wig. It seems to be an anxiety trigger for me. Thank you again for responding. "Negative loop" is impossible to explain for people who haven't been stuck in it, and it is so comforting to know that someone is going through it too. You give me strength.

jlstacey, thank you for making me feel normal! Cancer certainly is a depression/anxiety inducing event for me. Then to have poison voluntarily pumped into your body--does it get it any crazier than that? I always say thank you to the nurse after chemo which makes me giggle because the cocktail she just gave me is killing every rapidly dividing cell in my body and will "ruin" the majority of the next two weeks for me. Everything that we are going through defies logic.

Lisaj...that excerpt made me cry it hit so close to home and I needed to read that, thank you!! I am going to order that book; you are so right as it feels like I am just surviving the treatment not so much a fight; more survival and accepting that; this is how it is right now. It sucks; it's hard; I will get through it but it really sucks mostly and I am so tired already and I am just getting through round 3 of the AC....12 rounds of Taxol to come and the Rads for 5 weeks....August 9th is my finish date if I've calculated my time line right.

Beachbum..I couldn't have said it better myself!! Ben (the BF) and I will drive out there on a "good weekend" just so I can spend some time out in the pasture with my babies; kiss their noses, smell the country and fresh air! Play with my dogs; they are all heeler crosses and love to play catch and run and swim and play!! It brings me energy and sheds some years back off that the chemo has thrown on. I live to have my life back; in the country where the stars are brighter, the air full of horse poop and alfalfa, and wide open spaces not filled with doctors offices and pumps!

Loriiekg...Which office were you at? I got to Plano East location of Texas Oncology on 15th street; I work in Plano, my "home" is in Poetry, Texas (basically Terrell) however I am staying with my Mom in Whitesboro for the week after AC chemo and then my boyfriend in Denton on my good days. I basically live out of a bag right now and I miss Home so much!! Mom said she heard them talking about closing early Friday when we were there and I was in the middle of my transfusion and my shot. We get a hotel room the night before each Chemo so we aren't driving in from Whitesboro and this time we stayed Thursday night too because of the weather and I went in a little early for my shot on Friday.

I managed to really screw myself up this time by sodium depleting myself (drinking too much water...next time more Gatorade) so I have to go in today for blood work and fluids, etc....yesterday scared the the crap out of me as I was about 30 minutes for and ER trip. I am so fortunate to have the cell phone number for one of my nurses and she figured it out and told me what to do or go to the ER because the offices were closed due to weather....I am so sick of Winter....I have a feeling I am singing to the choir on that one!!

Stillstruggling...We are here for you; I may fade out for a week because I feel so bad after a round; but you and all the ladies here are always in my thoughts as I go through this; I hope you read Lisaj's excerpt; it hit home for me....I have books but find it hard to read much because thanks to the chemo brain I can't focus or follow any straight thought however I want that book to try.

Jamie...I love the class of Painting with a Twist; I wonder if I could find one for vodka drinkers for when I feel better!??! Lol....I hope it goes well and you have wonderful time and possibly share some of your art with us! My Mom used to paint allot years ago and found much solice and peace in it.

Stillhope....thank you for being a part of this group/thread; your input and positive attitude is wonderful!!

Oh, and for the lady that gave us the pictures and instructions on the cold bags for Taxol; THANK YOU!! My Mom is already talking about making me the fleese covers for my freezer baggies!! (chemo brain will not let me remember who posted that....my apologies!)

Ok, ladies....I have to get ready to make the trip to Plano and then Denton for hopefully a nice peaceful weekend with Ben; I still have days where I can't believe he didn't bail on me when I got sick; goes to show I suppose that people are placed in our paths for a reason and at the right time!!

I'll be checking in on everyone and posting; I feel better today and know tomorrow will be better....until round 4 on the 19th!

Fight like a girl!!! Never Give Up!!!

Lara

Sweet Hope - I have you get great news on the ECHO!! Let us know how you are.

SweetHope - I am sending hugs your way, Ohio hugs are pretty cold today, but I have a warm heart! I waited for a week to see the Cardiologist for my results. The tech wouldn't tell me anything, hospital protocol. I hope the phone rings soon to get you on the way. Keep us posted, I have rad boost at 2:45, and that is a whole other problem for me. Hang in there!

LCH033, we have the same chemo mix and the same reconstruction; I only had one breast removed with the lat flap reconstruction. I have been very nauseous and vomiting after my chemo infusions too. I had lost 7 pounds at my last weigh-in. My doctor prescribed Emend during my last chemo cycle. It has worked well. It hasn't eliminated the nausea and vomiting but it has reduced them greatly. It is expensive but Merck has a patient assistance program that will cover the cost or copay if you qualify. When are you scheduled to finish chemo?

Stillstruggling....I have my 4th AC chemo this month 3/19 and then I switch to Taxol for 12 weeks every week as well as then starting the Herceptin once every 3 weeks. What is your chemo schedule? I am still not doing well even after fluids and nausea meds today; I just feel crummy and upset tummy. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow as I don't know what else to do but let me body rest and recover.

I have a question as I have missed the reason behind......dark nail polish? On nails and toes? When and why? Sorry if that sounds like a silly question however I missed the reason to do that as I thought it was better to just strengthen and condition the nails and cuticles and even keep them short? I quit my pedicures and nail appointments when I got sick as to try and just keep them natural and build them up....Please, any answers, suggestions and ideas I am wide open to! Thanks you!!

Hope you each are having a pleasant evening and resting....Fight Like a Girl!!!! Never Give Up!!!

Lara

Hello ladies,

I have been reading these posts and trying to catch up.

I want to thank everyone for your support and my daughter is doing well, I am still hoping that my daughter is going to continue to be ok. My grandma is out of the hospital and back at her care home. Apparently grandma had a very severe UTI.

I have been in a negative funk and very emotional for the past few days. I try to stay positive but tonight I was verbally and emotionally brutal to everyone in my family. Part of the reason that set me off was dh came home from work at 5:30 this morning and informed me he had to work Saturday (when he was previously scheduled off) and we had plans to drive down past Tucson because my son is in an All-State Choir concert. Tucson is about a 3 hour drive one way for us. I am now faced with making this drive by myself because I have no one to drive or even go with me. Another reason is I am in my menstrual. It should be a cardinal sin to have to go through that and chemo at the same time.

I have a funny for everyone. .. stupid chemo brain. I went to Walmart and I always park in the Same general area so I know where I parked when I come out of the store. Well I did this today too. Except when I came out of the store I couldn't find my car. Here I am walking through the parking lot like I have good sence. I finally found my car 2 isles away. I have no idea how I got that far from my car but I did. Lol.

to the new ladies on this post, we are here for you and don't ever feel guilty for venting or crying or laughing or loving or missing work. Just lean on us. We will hug you right back.

Forgive me but I forgot the name of the lady who came to share with us who is about a year post our treatments but thank you very much for taking your time to share with us. It's always enlightening to hear about the light at the end of the tunnel.

I pray that everyone have very minimal to no SE's this week. Good luck with all the treatments. Have a great night.

Dstar, Congratulations on finishing AC! What is your Taxol schedule, DD? weekly? When will you start?

Still no news! So of course AC#4 was cancelled. Onc Nurse called at 4pm and said it won't make a difference in effectiveness to wait til Monday. My response: If we get the report Monday. Marjo said something last night that probably explains why I had such a meltdown over this..."Needing a certain amount of control". I realized how important that is when trying to maintain a positive attitude. This was my first time of "no control" since this journey started, so I better learn from this.

Hello to all. Happy Saturday. I am so sorry about the severe nausea and vomiting...miserable and dangerous. Wish I had a magic pill for you. We haven't talked about ginger candy for nausea lately; and Canada Dry Ginger Ale. (I read to specifically get that brand.) And most importantly, let your MO know that your anti-nausea meds aren't working.

Welcome, BPgas, sorry you are here. But happy you are doing well and almost done with Taxol. Have you had surgery yet?

Mommacat, I hope you and Aunt Flo are on your way to Tucson. Your son will be happy to see you and the concert sounds (pun) like a positive, spirit boosting event. Forgive DH (mine has to be out of town for a month soon and he feels miserably guilty.)

XOXO

hi to you jan girls, it was me. I am just over 1 yr pfc. I also posted on the ice packs for hands and feet. I'llcheck in every once and a whi

Hi,

SweetHope, I was diagnosed late Dec, started with Taxol, will start AC on the 30th. Once that is complete I will have surgery. I am waiting for the results of the genetic test to decide what surgery makes the most sense for me. I am not sure if I will have rads/chemo post, time will tell.

Sorry you are still waiting for your results, waiting is the worst.

Best of luck to all,

Barbie

Sweet Hope I've been following to see what your echo results are because I too have the extreme exhaustion even getting dressed.  I can't believe they don't have results for you yet, but I'm guessing that means there is nothing too horrible or you would have heard by now.

I called my onco nurses yesterday because I was concerned about the fatigue, getting winded so easily and a persistent weight gain of 1  to 2 pounds a day over the past week or so.  They recommended I go to urgent aid for evaluation, and after a lot of testing to rule out some scary things like a blood clot in my lung, they started me on Lasix to eliminate fluid buildup.  I've taken one pill and dropped 4 pounds overnight! 

I also share your concerns about radiation because my cancer is also left breast at 9:00.  I don't have a radiation oncologist yet, but I have started my list of questions/concerns. 

Last round of CT scheduled for Tuesday!  Yay!  And temps above freezing now predicted for all of next week. Double Yay!! Looks like we may have finally turned the corner on this brutal winter here in Chicago.