How to get over fear of recurrence?

AngelNicole81 · February 2015

HI everybody, my name is Angel and I am new to the forum. Although I am a 7 year triple negative breast cancer survivor, I still live in fear of recurrence. Every new year I wonder is this going to be the year that the cancer returns. It's a miserable way to live. I've noticed that quite a few women seem to relapse at the 10 year mark which really scares me. I am only 33 years old and don't want to die from cancer. After I reached the 5 year mark, I was told from my medical oncologist that with tnbc, after 5 years recurrence is rare and that my chances of recurrence is less than 5%. However, I was told from another medical oncologist that is not true and that recurrence rate for tn's are the same as it is for women who are hormonal positive. I know that to be true because I read of too many women with tnbc relapsing even after 17 years of being in remission. It's also frightening when I meet women with who are longer survivors than I am, who still live in fear of recurrence.

How do you deal with the fear? It's hard for me to move on with life.

YramAL · February 2015

Angel-I am 5 years out myself, and I do worry about recurrence at times. My strategy is to let myself worry for a set period of time when the worry comes up-say about 15 minutes or so. Then I shove the worry to the back of my mind and let it go. I'm really good at compartmentalizing my worry. I find if I allow myself to worry occasionally, the worry doesn't come up so often.

Weird, huh?

Mary

Meow13 · February 2015

Every once in a while I too wonder if this year it will come back. I think it is normal to wonder. Until they find a cure that will be a concern. But every year that goes by the probability of recurrence goes down for all of us.

AngelNicole81 · February 2015

I feel hopeless that there will ever be a cure for breast cancer. My Medical Oncologist told me years ago that there will never be a cure for it. If that is so, i don't know why they even bother with raising money to find a cure if that is the case.

Moderators · February 2015

Hi AngelNicole81, welcome to Breastcancer.org! You're in good company here, and you've already received such good advice from members! It's pretty normal to think about recurrence after being diagnosed... This is actually one of the Common Breast-Cancer-Related Fears.

If it helps with your questions, you may want to read through the different articles we have on triple negative BC in the Ask-the-Expert Online Conference section of our main site, where you'll learn more on triple negative breast cancer prognosis, treatments, risk factors, etc.

Hope this helps!

The Mods

Luvmydobies · February 2015

Well it's discouraging to read tha some of the Oncologists say there's never going to be a cure! I know one person who is 19 years out from Triple Negative and one who is 17 years out and both of their Onc's told them they were cured. So it can happen. I still worry every day though. I'm in my PCP's office right now for lower left abdominal pain. Bad thoughts are really sinking in

Sarahlou50 · February 2015

Hi

I don't really think you get over the fear of reoccurrence, you just learn to live with it and hope a new drug is found which fits with your personal diagnosis.

I don't know if I am a TN or not. I know I am ER/PR neg but was never tested for anything else and I felt I did not need to know as it may have made my initial prognosis worse than it was at the time! Sometimes, I think, we can know too much.

I try not to think to much about cancer returning, I just know one day it might and try to accept that.

Sarah

Daralee · February 2015

I too worry about recurrence all the time--especially distant disease. I have to say that for me when I get in a tail spin about this I just remind myself that there is nothing more I can do. I have done all thats asked of me and then some! If it is going to return that is my fate but I cannot live under a black cloud all the time.

songbird68 · February 2015

I'm scared too, and some times it's worse than others. I do things that distract me and it mostly works.

It helps to hear I'm not going crazy to have this worry, but I am sorry you guys feel it too.

x x

Magpiemumma · February 2015

I'm new to this forum, but thought I would post here, because this fear of recurrence is always lurking at the back of my mind, but jumps forth and smacks me in the face in the weeks leading up to my 6 monthly check up with my Oncologist. I have read many posts (which probably doesn't help!) of women who had far less nodal involvement than myself and have had a recurrence. I can't help thinking that with 10/25 nodes involved , it's just a matter of time. When I was diagnosed my Oncologist spoke as though my cancer was routine/ normal and chemo and radiation would do the trick. He now says it was an aggressive cancer and passing the 'five year cancer free' Mark is no cause for celebration. I see my Oncologist next week. He doesn't do routine scans just blood work and while I have never asked what any of the results were before, I think this time I will ask what the CA15-3 levels ar

BayouBabe · February 2015

magpiemumma - phooey on your MO! Every single minute, hour, day, month, year is worthy of celebration! Yes, the fear may never be behind us, but we can't let it take away our moments of joy either.

How to get over fear of recurrence?

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