Pinched nerve or bone mets?

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  • Als920
    Als920 Member Posts: 89
    edited April 2015

    I have grown fond of sleep because dreams are the only place the this fear cannot reach.

    I'm sitting on the couch with our kids doing our usual Saturday morning routine and realizing that this is probably our last "cancer free" weekend. As much as I want to savor and enjoy it I lay here looking at them and have to breath deeply to hold back tears. We are coming up with reasons to give our son as to why I am home for a few extra days next week so that he doesn't get suspicious.

    My DW is making a nice family breakfast and smiling at the kids. When she turns around the smile fades a little and I can see it in her eyes, "Baby, I'm scared".

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  • shoppygirl
    shoppygirl Member Posts: 694
    edited February 2015

    Als920

    I know it is hard not to go to that dark place. This is such a difficult time for you and your family.

    I hope you can enjoy the weekend with your kids. Please remember that we are here for you!

    Hugs


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  • Als920
    Als920 Member Posts: 89
    edited February 2015

    well the bone scan is tomorrow and we are terrified. On top of everything else we now have to call an electrician as our dining room lights went out Saturday and I can't figure out what's wrong. It feels like our world is collapsing around us and it's only going to get worse. I have always been an optimist but I just don't feel it anymore. Everything was so right just 5 weeks ago

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  • shelleym1
    shelleym1 Member Posts: 298
    edited February 2015

    Try to hang in there OK? The unknown is the worst part. I wish I knew what to say. I know you both are terrified.

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  • Nan54
    Nan54 Member Posts: 93
    edited February 2015

    Praying for only good news for you! And praying that you both find some peace tonight while you wait... My heart hurts for you because I so understand your fear. Please keep us posted and know that you are not alone in this!

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  • Als920
    Als920 Member Posts: 89
    edited February 2015

    Tonight will be the hardest because I wish that we could simply stop time so that tomorrow never actually comes for us.

    The fear of the last "cancer free" night for our family night is taking its toll. I haven't had an appetite for days but my DW has been hanging in there as far as remembering to eat. I'm down almost 10 lb over the past 3 1/2 weeks. We're keeping up the charade or normalcy for the kids but we're both strung so tight right now.

    One more night of praying and "bargaining" with God.

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  • fralaliso
    fralaliso Member Posts: 63
    edited February 2015

    Sending good thoughts your way and hoping things go well for you and your wife tomorrow. Please keep us posted.

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  • shoppygirl
    shoppygirl Member Posts: 694
    edited February 2015

    Good luck tomorrow!

    Hugs to you and your wife !!

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  • Als920
    Als920 Member Posts: 89
    edited February 2015

    DW went out with a few friends tonight and as I'm starting to get the kids ready for bed this is feeling REAL and not in a good way. This time tomorrow we will know and there's no turning it around.

    I have never been this scared in my life and I can't stop the anxiety. As she was leaving tonight she asked how I was doing and if she should stay home. I told her no, I had this under control......liar. I know that she is just as scared as we looked at what a bone scan is for and we couldn't figure out why they wouldn't just go right for a biopsy to rule out mets. This just feels like they are checking to see how much we're dealing with. That would be extremely cruel telling a patient that it's just something suspicious that needs to be ruled out instead of being up front. Is it possible that there less emphasis put on expediting treatment for metastatic because it is no longer curable? I don't mean a long time but it seems when she was first diagnosed this went very quickly. When they found something in the MRI it was going to be a week to have a consultation with the onco before even ordering any more tests. As it stands now there is no appointment set to discuss the findings after tomorrow's scan. It feels like a lack of urgency which was originally nice because we thought maybe we weren't a high priority because it might not be anything. Now I am not so sure?


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  • shoppygirl
    shoppygirl Member Posts: 694
    edited February 2015

    Based on what I have read from your posts, there seems to be a lot of grey areas and uncertainty in what they are seeing on the scan.

    Radioligists are all different, some will not commit to something on a scan unless they are 100% sure of what it is and others think they know it all and will make their opinions known. As you know, once you have had cancer, everything is supisious. As far as going straight to the bone biopsy, that is quite an invasive procedure as far as I know. If it turns out that they can determine it is not cancer from a bone scan, then your wife will not have to go through more surgery.

    I know this is so hard and you must feel so traumatized by everything that has happens to you so far. We are here to read your posts and offer any support you need.

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  • Luvmydobies
    Luvmydobies Member Posts: 766
    edited February 2015

    Thinking of you today and praying

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  • shelleym1
    shelleym1 Member Posts: 298
    edited February 2015

    please keep us posted.

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  • Als920
    Als920 Member Posts: 89
    edited February 2015

    scan is in 2 hours and we are absolutely terrified. Getting our 8 year old off to school while she was getting the contrast injection was very tough. Now we are both home with our 4 year old praying to God that we get something positive today but I just have a terrible gut feeling that it's not going to happen. :-

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  • slv58
    slv58 Member Posts: 1,216
    edited February 2015

    Als920, thinking of you and your family. Big hugs and positive thoughts. There are lots of us surrounding you with support.

    Shari

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  • shelleym1
    shelleym1 Member Posts: 298
    edited February 2015

    did they say if you would have the results today?

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  • tangandchris
    tangandchris Member Posts: 1,855
    edited February 2015

    Thinking of you and dw today ((hugs))

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  • Als920
    Als920 Member Posts: 89
    edited February 2015

    She's in the scan now, we were told that we should have the results no later than tomorrow morning.

    We are so terrified right now! I am a nervous wreck and I just look at our liitle girl and want to break down again. I just want to go back to this time last year so we can be back somewhere safe.

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  • new_direction
    new_direction Member Posts: 449
    edited February 2015

    thinking of you

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  • Als920
    Als920 Member Posts: 89
    edited February 2015

    it looks like we won't know until tomorrow. Her onco is not in the office today and the office told her the results weren't in yet. We've been burned by the results being held back due to bad news before so this makes me nervous

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  • shelleym1
    shelleym1 Member Posts: 298
    edited February 2015

    I've always been told it can take up to 2-3 days to get results. It depends on how quickly the radiologist can read the results. I had to wait 3 days for my MRI results and they were clear. I am still holding out hope for you.

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  • Als920
    Als920 Member Posts: 89
    edited February 2015

    we went to bed when we put the kids down last night because we were both physically and mentally exhausted with still no answers. Part of me felt like we should have stayed up and done something "couple" in case that was our last "cancer free" night together.

    Now we are both string so tight waiting for the phone to ring this morning. DW is in another room playing stickers with our 4 year old who is as happy as she can be yet I still get saddened over the gauze around her finger from the ER trip 2 weeks ago today. So many bad events have visited our lives in the past month and now we wait for possibly the worst of them

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  • javafriend
    javafriend Member Posts: 20
    edited February 2015

    ALS, hugs to you and your wife.  I am sending positive thoughts and prayers that the bone scan is clean. 
    Keep us updated.

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  • Als920
    Als920 Member Posts: 89
    edited February 2015

    we're still waiting and it just hurts like nothing I've ever felt. Is it nothing so we're not a priority to call or is it something bad that is requiring more time to process?

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  • GoldenGirls
    GoldenGirls Member Posts: 608
    edited February 2015

    When we were waiting on my mother's results I called and explained how stressed out we were and managed to get the results on the spot. May not work, but could be worth a try?

    Praying for good news!

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  • shoppygirl
    shoppygirl Member Posts: 694
    edited February 2015

    Yes I agree with golden girls, a call in to the dr will not hurt. Anyway, they are YOUR results !!!!!!

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  • mkkjd60
    mkkjd60 Member Posts: 583
    edited February 2015

    Agreeing with everyone here.  Give a call.  Don't wait.  Most drs. will understand your anxiety and track the results down if they don't already have them.  Blessings to you.

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  • soriya123
    soriya123 Member Posts: 662
    edited February 2015

    I agree, give a call, dont wait. Sometimes they are so busy with other patients. Praying for good results.

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  • Als920
    Als920 Member Posts: 89
    edited February 2015

    We just got the bone scan results, nothing showing up except for the neck issue we already knew about.

    While this is good her onco has ordered a PET scan to make sure there is nothing hiding elsewhere so I only really feel like we got a pass. We were told that they would not do a biopsy because the area of the neck is too risky to do one. If the PET comes back clean, sans her neck, we would most likely go into a surveillance mode and watch the area for growth with the neuro-science group she met with initially.

    Has anyone else had experience in this area? We're still very nervous but can at least exhale. Our daughter was lying on me yesterday watching TV and heard my stomach making sounds. She told me I should eat something but I couldn't. Yesterday consisted of about 6 saltines until 6pm when we all had dinner. This morning I was holding her and she heard noises again and said "Daddy, yesterday you ate this much" and showed me a closed hand. "You need to eat something today, EAT FOOD". She is sweet and probably gets it from her mother and not from my side.

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  • slv58
    slv58 Member Posts: 1,216
    edited February 2015

    Als920, this is good news! Please take a deep breath, quiet that mind of negativity, hold your DW and kids close and exhale! Go get something to eat, your not going to be able to help anyone if you get sick- you need to eat and sleep to be able to cope. I'm sorry I don't have experience with PET scans, my hospital does not do them as standard of care due to the frequent false positives and ensuing distress this can cause.


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  • soriya123
    soriya123 Member Posts: 662
    edited February 2015

    Als920, I am so sorry. I have young kids too, 12 n 9. I am 40 yrs old. I know how you feel. I had repeated scans just like your wife last year. CT scan show spot in my liver, had PET scan to confirm that spot N was told it was nothinothingng. When i completed my 1 year Herceptin my MO had me another PET just because of that one incident of CT results. I know I hate this waiting game. So stressful. I am praying for good results on this PET scan. I have a feeling that this PET scan also clean. Take care of yourself. Many hugs from me to you n your wife.

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