really lost

Colorbrite-

First, we want to welcome you to our community here at BCO. We're so glad you've joined us, and we hope you find this to be a place of support and encouragement when you need it most.

Many of our members have expressed feelings and struggles similar to what you've described. You've been through a life-altering experience, and finding your balance after it's "done" can be just as hard as the battle against cancer. What you're going through is difficult, but not unexpected, given what you've already been through. We're so sorry your therapist doesn't seem to understand, or isn't understand what you're saying. Are you on any antidepressants or anxiety meds, or have you considered taking them? Our members are very open in discussing their mental health struggles during and after BC, and many laud the benefits of meds in dealing with all of this. Something to consider, if you aren't already.

It's important to have a safe, welcoming place to work through this all, and we hope this place is that for you. Please keep posting, we're here for you.

The Mods

Yes, I've had the same experience with therapists. I think there is a huge gap in this area in treating breast cancer survivors. It's really surprising to me that there isn't better support out there. I guess it's like with a lot of this, you have to keep looking.

The whole mind-body connection really helps - meditation, Yoga, mindfulness training, etc. Some cancer centers have classes in their integrative medicine program, if you're lucky to have one nearby.

I've been up and down since my diagnosis. I had depression before bc so I know what to look for. There are times when I just don't have the energy to get out of bed. That's when I know I need more help. Don't let it get to that point. Call your primary doc and let him/her know what's going on with you. There are times when I need to take antidepressants, especially during the winter. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Reach out to your providers! They are there to help you. We are, too!

Good luck and let us know how you are doing!

colorbrite - I'm here too. Depression - check. Anxiety - iverwhelming. I'm on meds for both. What makes me mad is being told that after a bad year, it's done and I should be over it. I have neuropathy, surgical site pain and I'm still in treatment and reconstruction,. Yet today one of my docs said that he thinks the pain is in my head and that once my mental catches up to my physical, it will go away. He indicated that it's been over a year since DX and BMX and I should be fine. He said I needed to decide to put it behind me, move on and then I'd be fine. If he wasn't a friend, I'd have thrown my snow boot at him. Even if he is right, I'm grieving and not ready to move beyond. I'm still in treatment for goodness sakes!

Tonight Ive been so nauseous thinking about how can he be so clueless yet see BC women every day?! Am I really that abnormal?!

I've started putting yoga in my calendar and treating it as a medical appt, not to be missed or overrun by work meetings. Like bc101, it helps me too.

I look for the little things to appreciate each day - a bird on the bird feeder, a warm blanket and cup of tea, a hug, a posting here. Keeping it one day at a time, or being in the present moment as my yoga teaches, helps me to not get so overwhelmed.

You've been doing this awhile and probably have heard about or tried all these things. Even if I can offer no fresh ideas, please know you have my support.

thank you Sandy!!

formydaugher,

I agree. A year is nothing. It goes by so fast! And you're still in treatment! How dare he suggest that your pain is all in your head. Post mastectomy pain is real. I've come across many studies stating as much. It's yet another area where "more research is needed," along with lymphedema and the psychological issues we all face as survivors. My MO (a male) put it more lightly - he suggested that I "have a relationship with a psychologist" when I told him I was struggling with trying to get over the fear of recurrence. I've also been told that I have a good prognosis, so I need to "Celebrate that and enjoy my life." Easier said than done. I am hoping for the day when I don't think of breast cancer at all.

Group hug everyone!!

Ganzgirl, I'm so sorry you are going through all that. I know what it's like to having an egomaniac PS, but at least his NP is nice. I never even see a MO, just the NP for my follow ups. She is super nice, too. Going to my cancer clinic is like going to see old friends. But it's so important to have a support system close to home. You know what they say - a long talk with a good friend is sometimes all the therapy you need, but since I don't have anyone at hand, the NP I see for depression is the next best thing. Hmmmm, I'm seeing a pattern here and it's not good, lol!

Too bad we're not in the same town or we could meet for wine - or cranberry juice? I'd like to run away, too, to someplace warm. Hey, how about a cruise. Yes, that's it! A cruise for just us survivors!! I think we should get some kind of reward for going through all this. It should be given out by all crabbypants docs to their patients. Free of charge!

bc101,,I called a clinic to try to see a therapist for depression , they told me it was an 8 week wait ! I called at the beginning of december and a therapist still hasn't called me. It's getting to the point that I don't want to be around people. Id rather stay in bed. How come do don't see an onc ??

Susan02143 ...thank you for the info on your onc. Im going to call tomorrow and see if I can schedule an appointment. I called BMC's oncology department almost 3 weeks ago for an appointment (consult). Someone finally called me this past Friday asking if I called for an appointment, I said yes 3 weeks ago, the women then told me she was going to call me back later that afternoon but I never heard back from her.  Im leaving Dana Farber. I thought DFCI had such a great rep for cancer treatment, everyone told me they were the best, ..not so much

Ganz - Yes, it's hard getting help. There are no psychiatrists within a 50 mile radius of my home who are taking new patients. There are lots of psychologists, but very few seem to understand the issues we face as cancer survivorship. I did some searching and found a psychologist who specializes in PTSD among other things, but yes, I had to wait several weeks. My cancer clinic pairs you up with pink ribbon mentors when you are going through active treatment. Have you checked with your MO regarding help at all? There are lots of helplines out there. One is offered through the Living Beyond Breast Cancer website: http://www.lbbc.org/. Their breast cancer helpline is (888) 753-LBBC (5222). They have some great webinars and have lots of experts with very useful information. This month's feature is Being Your Own Caregiver. Interesting topic.

To answer your question, I met all my doctors and surgeons before my surgery, but now follow up with their RNs or PAs. The RN in oncology works under the direction of my MO as part of a team and if needed at any point, I will be seen by him. I think it's just their protocol at that clinic. My MO's RN is very capable and I have no issues with not seeing the doc every time. She has always very efficiently handled anything I throw her way. My team is in very close contact with one another, so I know I don't have just one, but several good people looking after me. Sorry to hear you are having problems connecting with your clinic. That's just not acceptable.

I know about those dark days, too. I don't want to take an antidepressant and they don't always work for me. I recently tried increasing my dosage of Vitamin D and that has really helped a lot.

Congrats farmerlucy on your 3 year anniversary!!! So glad you were able to get the help you needed. I've heard that oncology social workers are the best folks to get in touch with. HUGS!

It makes such a difference when you feel the "care" in medical care, doesn't it?