Bi Rads 5 - Who to tell, how to plan?

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slg72
slg72 Member Posts: 1
edited February 2015 in Waiting for Test Results

I'm 42 years old and on 2/4 I had a mammo and ultrasound after finding a painful lump. The report indicates a solid mass with irregular margins measuring 2.5cm x 3cm. Based on that, the radiologist reported BI-RADS 5 and scheduled me for biopsy. Because that conclusion seemed extreme based on a few indicators, I politely and insistently harassed the radiologist into a conversation. He said those 2 indicators were enough, but added that the margins were "branched out." So I know that means spiculated.

The radiologist said he is hoping I suffered a trauma to the area which lead to scar tissue that is mimicking a malignancy. I didn't hear much hope in his voice, and I don't remember any injuries. In follow up with my primary physician, she recommended having the mass removed no matter what caused it. In any case, my boobs will never be the same.

My job works on a monthly rotation, so right now I am committing to meetings and activities for March and April. For every appointment I schedule, I feel like a fraud, I can't really say: "Yes, I'll be there, unless I'm in chemo."

Through this, I haven't told my mother or my sisters. I don't know what to tell them and "Hi, I have a 95% chance of cancer" seems too indecisive and traumatic. The difference between benign and malignant is so huge. And I won't have the answers I know they want. But it feels disrespectful to exclude my mom from this process and I know she'll be upset either way.

This post is way longer than I intended. Any words of wisdom to help me plan?

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  • WinningSoFar
    WinningSoFar Member Posts: 951
    edited February 2015

    My dear, I don't know if these are wise words or not. I don't know if there is a right or wrong answer to who to tell and when to tell them. For me, I told everyone but only after making the hardest decision--and that is to tell the first person. I think that telling the first person is equivalent to making it real for me. It's sort of equivalent to telling myself. If my mom were alive, she'd be the first person I'd tell but that is me and my mom.

    We should feel complimented that you told this to us first. Please keep posting.

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  • MelissaDallas
    MelissaDallas Member Posts: 7,268
    edited February 2015

    I'd tell my Mom but hold off on telling anyone else until I knew what I was dealing with. You'll only have a day or two of downtime with an excisional biopsy. A couple of women here very recently have gotten benign results with Birads 5, though you know that is not the most likely result. With various testing if you were diagnosed you really don't know what your timeline will be, so you could very possibly still be available for those meetings. Even if it is cancer you don't know that chemo would be required. It might not. You might need very minimal treatment & little time off

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited February 2015

    Sig72-

    We want to take a moment to welcome you to our community here at BCO. We're sorry for what brings you here, but we're so glad you've found us, and hope you find this place to be one of support when you need it most.

    Please keep us posted, and please keep posting. If you're still not sure when you want to tell the people in your life, at least you'll have this community to support you through those early days.

    The Mods

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  • fifthyear
    fifthyear Member Posts: 225
    edited February 2015

    Sig72, a wise person on BCO once said "don't go there til you ARE there". Until the mass is removed and path report comes back, there is still a chance that your mass was non cancerous. I know our jobs/commitments are important but right now, YOU are more important than anything else. You're first, period. Come back and let us know the result.

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  • Lolis197138
    Lolis197138 Member Posts: 512
    edited February 2015

    Hi Sig72,

    I was in the same boat as you less than a year ago, my mass had more indications that it was malignant. I told my younger sister after I had done the biopsy and didn't tell my other sister and parents until I got the results. I specifically didn't tell my mom as she worries a lot and I didn't want her to be worried for a week until I got the biopsy results as there was still a 5% chance of it being benign, although I knew it was malignant due to some changes on the breast that were not normal. Fingers crossed you are in the 5%!!!

    As other comments, this is the time to think about yourself and if you need to take time off I am sure your superiors will understand. 

    Please keep us posted. 

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