MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

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  • staynsane
    staynsane Member Posts: 213
    edited February 2015

    Amy- So glad the most worrisome part is nearly over (well, hopefully it will be once you get your pathology and it turns out better than expected). Waiting was the worst for me; once a treatment plan was in place I was all about taking "one step after another." Surgery outcomes can be so different for each of us. I'm sure that waking up to find your new girls hibernating under your arms was not something you expected, but you seem to have taken it all in stride. How the TEs look during the process of stretching out the skin is NOT how your breasts will look when all is said and done. I'm a uni and boy did I have fun (not!) trying to camouflage my TE as it crept up my towards my neck after each fill. More difficult because I didn't have a reduction and lift of righty until the implant was placed in lefty. My boobs looked like balls of a bad juggler caught frozen in time. In the end, all good; most implants end up right where they should be.

    But having to have another procedure to move your TEs to better positions the week following your surgery makes me wonder if the surgeon ran out of time or something...And telling you to wear a bra immediately after surgery? I was wrapped for a few days I think, then wore zip up the front cotton sports bras. Can't imagine trying to get the girls in regular bras so soon.

    HnS- frankly, our dogs are the big reason we are struggling with trying to plan a vacation this year. Both are declining and depend on us so much. That makes the RV idea so much more appealing, although I really would prefer more of a tropical type vacation.

  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited February 2015

    So Middies, I have been under a bit of stress lately, not BC related. I am trying to keep a stiff upper lip, but it is difficult at times.

    I lost my job of 17.5 yrs on 1-7-15. The attorney I worked for sold his practice in 2011 to a bigger firm, and at the start of the year, the bigger firm was taken over in a coup by a couple senior partners and some junior ones. The attorney I worked for was ousted, more or less, and I was ousted then and there! It has been unnerving. At 60 and a half, to be jobless after working your entire life is disconcerting to say the least. I had my 1st interview today, in 17.5 yrs. I think I did ok, but I could see them sizing me up as to how long I would actually be working. We shall see. It would be nice to get a govt job to be assured better $ and some insurance, which I currently don't have.

    The nice thing about being jobless is, my DD is leaving the country on 2-24 for an adventure, starting in South America for 6 weeks & then South Africa for the rest of the year. Her plan is to be back stateside on 12-29 and go to Time Square for the ball drop, which is something she's always wanted to do (she & I used to watch religiously when she was little!) So, it's worked out well for us to spend more time together this last month than we would have if I'd been working.

    I do need to work though unless I could win the silly lottery. Powerball is close to 400 million this weekend. Gotta play to be paid! I promise I'll share.....please!

  • missingmercury
    missingmercury Member Posts: 161
    edited February 2015

    Eph, good luck on the job hunt.  I just had one of my d's here for almost two months and it was great.

     

    mm

  • Loral
    Loral Member Posts: 932
    edited February 2015

    Eph good luck on the job hunt.......

    I have a question for you ladies, I have to have a hip replacement..WHAT! I'm only 53, so yes that SUCKS! I'd like to know if anyone on the board has had one and what I am to expect...You can PM me if you like...

    Thanks in advance for the info.


  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited February 2015


    Eph,,, so sorry to hear about your job loss,,, wishing you the best on the hunt.   And BEST of luck on Powerball,,, come on, numbers!!!

  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 3,945
    edited February 2015

    JustAmy, Geez! I would be telling HIM where he could migrate those suckers TO! That does not sound at all normal. I thought they had little 'tabs' on them, they were sewn to your tissue???

    I was laughing at Deborahs' 'Jaws with the yellow barrells', and staynsanes' 'balls of a bad juggler'! We are some funny women here, thanks for gathering us all up together here,eli, and I just realized there is another page, so after i post I still have another to read, so I will be behind..

  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited February 2015

    Eph--Holy Cow, what a development at work! It's crazy what happens when a company gets taken over.First interview after 17.5 years, talk about stressful!I'm sure you did great.I can imagine them looking at you askance, even though age isn't supposed to be considered.Good to be able to spend time with DD, though. Good luck with the lottery ticket!

  • staynsane
    staynsane Member Posts: 213
    edited February 2015

    Eph- I feel for you. It is hard to contemplate, let alone get, a great job after you turn 50 in this economy. Unless you want to be a greeter at Walmart. Then you're golden. I was recently contacted by a company recruiter who saw my profile on Linked In (I do not keep it up or even use it; I joined because some business associates asked me to). I thought "hey, what do I have to lose?" So I had a phone interview and was lead to believe it went great and she was anxious to receive my resume and set up a face-to-face. Resume sent...crickets and tumbleweeds...my efforts to contact her did not receive a response. All I can think is that once she saw my resume and the year I graduated college she panicked! The company is cutting edge and I think she thought she was dealing with someone much younger (my profile pic is a few years old, and pretty flattering, if I do say so myself. Me on a really good day).

    Anyway, rewind four years. I was working at a job with a downward trend line for income. So I started looking and had several interviews and a couple offers I turned down (over the course of a year). Then I applied to a job that intrigued me, totally different from any of my past experience. After a great interview, my head started playing tricks on me. "Why would they want me? I don't have direct experience. I'm over 50." Got a call for a second interview. Job offered & accepted. Three years later, love it still. Best job ever. Scary times with the company, lots of layoffs, but have been told there will always be a job for me. Nice to hear, even if no guarantees.

    My point is, PLEASE don't doubt yourself. Yes, there are many companies out there who only hire youngins. But the brilliant ones realize the value of experience and knowledge gained only by working hard and breathing for more than 25 years. I realize not having a job can allow panic to creep in. But I imagine you have unemployment income, so try to find a job that will be a good match for what you want, rather than going after just a job. It really made a big difference in my life. Who knows what this temporary setback will lead to?

  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited February 2015

    Thanks everyone. SnS, I would love to find something new & different, but this area is pretty stagnant. And in the last 2 weeks, 2 businesses have gone under for a total of close to 200 unemployed. Granted, it's no where near my line of work (both companies were industrial type businesses) but still, competition will probably go up for some things. As long as I don't think too long or hard about it, I'm OK. If I don't have a job by the time DD leaves, I will then be able to probably open my mind up to other possibilities, but right now I feel like I'm in a rut and can't even think of something "different".

  • staynsane
    staynsane Member Posts: 213
    edited February 2015

    Eph- just remember that many of the skills you've gained by working in a legal practice are highly valuable and transferable to other types of businesses. It might be helpful to develop a resume that is entirely skill-based, with less focus on your previous job, especially if you like the idea of making a change... It becomes an aid to remind yourself that you could be a strong contributor in a number of previously unconsidered professions and helps give you a positive frame of mind.

  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited February 2015

    True story. Thanks.


  • MinusTwo
    MinusTwo Member Posts: 16,634
    edited February 2015

    Eph - when I had to look for a job at 60, a resume consultant told me to delete the dates from my education entries. Also to drop off all early jobs. I found it much better doing that since I actually got calls for interviews and was able to present myself in person - emphasizing the good things & actually discussing the benefits of my age. Sorry you have to be there but wishing you good luck. I got the best boss of my entire life after 60 & the job lasted until I was ready to retire.

  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited February 2015

    Eph - what a shock to suddenly find yourself out of work after so many years of being a faithful employee. Best wishes to you for a successful job hunt. Enjoy time with your DD!

  • PoppyK
    PoppyK Member Posts: 1,805
    edited February 2015

    Eph, So sorry you have to deal with this, too. I hope you find something that suits YOU soon.

  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited February 2015

    Staynsane--good info for Eph about the skills based resume.

  • justamy
    justamy Member Posts: 532
    edited February 2015

    Path report today. No cancer in lymph nodes and clear margins! Doing the happy dance!

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited February 2015

    Eph, you found lots of sympathetic ears here and some good suggestions!

    Loral, I've got nothing about hip replacement. You could always look for a discussion board on that topic, if no one here has the experience.

    justamy, whether it was due to all that chemo you did, or just because, thanks for sharing your GREAT news!

    You know I ...

    image

  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited February 2015


    YAY Amy!!!!!   So happy for you!!!Happy

  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 3,945
    edited February 2015
  • mel147
    mel147 Member Posts: 479
    edited February 2015

    Amy - that is GREAT NEWS!!! Very happy for you!!

    Eph - sorry to hear about your job situation - hoping you will find the right job soon!

  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited February 2015

    Amy - that's FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTASTIC!

  • frugalgirl
    frugalgirl Member Posts: 10
    edited February 2015


    Glad to find this group just found out today that Cancer is back in right breast. Kids are out of the house and im a new Nana at 41 he is my world. Now something new will be stealing my time. Dr said at least you know what to expect ya right that's what scares the ***** out of me! I hope that things have changed in the 15 years since my last bought with this? Any 2 timers out there with some advice?

  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited February 2015

    Hi frugalgirl - sorry that you are having to go through the nightmare again. You have found a wonderful group of women who will laugh with you, cry with you, dance with you, hold your hand and be with you whenever you need us to be. There is lots of wisdom here so don't be afraid to ask any questions that may arise. There is bound to be someone who has experienced a similar situation. Keep us posted on how you are doing and feel free to brag about that wee grandson anytime you like!


     

  • createdonpurpose
    createdonpurpose Member Posts: 27
    edited February 2015


    New here, trying to figure out this new unfortunate journey. 44 years old, kids all out of the house, recently remarried and now this. Stupid question, but I'm confused by all your abbreviations: DH, DD, D, tx, dx, etc. Anyone have the key? Happy

     

  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited February 2015


    on the left hand side,, you will see a blue box that says Help with Abbrevations.   Hopefully that will explain it.  But here are a few,,,, 

    DD = dear daughter

    DH= dear husband

    DX = diagnosis

    TX = treatment

    MX = mastectomy

  • createdonpurpose
    createdonpurpose Member Posts: 27
    edited February 2015


    Glennie19 you just made things so much easier! Thanks! I consider myself a reasonably intelligent woman and was frustrated by my lack of understanding !

  • PoppyK
    PoppyK Member Posts: 1,805
    edited February 2015

    Amy, Best news!

    Welcome those you are new to this page!

  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited February 2015

    YAY AMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Welcome to the new ladies. BCO can be so very helpful. Just ask if you have questions.

  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited February 2015

    Justamy--YEAH!!!!!

    Frugalgirl--so sorry to hear about the beast coming back.

  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited February 2015

    createdonpurpose - Although it really sucks to have to greet another new member to bco I welcome you to the land of the middies. You will find lots of great support, encouragement and even fun here.

    One more abbreviation that you might see on a regular basis is PP which is Pocket Party. Whenever someone is anxious about an appointment, is having surgery, scans, chemo or just needs some support we all jump into her pocket so she doesn't have to go it alone. Of course virtual drinks and treats are calorie free so we load up on those to help keep our energy up.

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