Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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Passion doesn't come from business or books or even a connection with another person. It is a connection with your own life force, the world around you, and the spirit that connects us all. You are the source. Books, work, music, people, sunsets all provide sparks, but only you can light the fire.
Jennifer James
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Good Morning,
Hate to say though it isn't really here weather-wise. Not doing much right now but ahem' one of those gray days. Toss up for rain or snow or even a mixture. Carole, I think being in the doldrums and poor me state is an endurance test. We all go through whatever challenges come --- and sometimes, the challenge seems far easier than what others are going through --- but never-the-less, if YOU are feeling it, IT is valid. That really isn't minimizing the severity of what our friends may be dealing with at the moment, but in order to do something about OUR life issues, they need to be recognized and acknowledged as fully as possible.
If you do that, then you can find a successful conclusion to whatever is ailing you. Blondie, Sandra, and Mike are having what have become major and really difficult things to handle -- at some point we all have them but like you, most of what is going on in life for me pales to near nothingness in comparison.
Your new guest room sounds pretty and comfortable too. I hope your family members ( dh's side ) coming will cheer you up. Wow that Dh has the "crud" again. That has its own difficulties. I hope he is feeling better by the time your company arrives. Just hoping no one gets a case of the measles which have re-surfaced. They seem to have a large foothold in many states already.
I will be back later on and will see you all again, then.
Blessings
Jackie
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Jackie, you always know the right comforting things to say. I feel like you reached out all the way from IL and gave me a kind pat on the back! Thank you!
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Sandra---- It's good to hear Mike is feeling better. Anne's advice iss very good advice. It makes a lot of sense.. You and Mike are in my thoughts and prayers.
Blondie----- you sound good for all that you have been through. hope you are feeling better each day.
Carole ----I think we all have those days but hopefully tomorrow your spirits will be up.
Chevy----love the dog and cat picture
We are under a weather warning starting tonight. Each weather person has a different amount of snow that we are to get. Went and filled my gas tank this morning and DH went grocery shopping for some items. We have no plans for going anywhere for the superbowl so we are not worried about driving anywhere until Monday for work.
Hope everyone is having a great weekend.
Emmy
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Hi Ladies--
Sandra sending prayers u'r way---such a difficult time, but like Anne said see what kind of help u can get--this is so hard on u also. Please sneak in some down time for u'rself somewhere. And I pray Mike is better each day.
Carole, we all have a right to own our emotions no matter how anyone thinks or for whatever the reasons--I hope u can have brighter days soon.
Thank u all or the well wishes, I'm still hazy and I can't face it yet. And the memorial was hundreds o people so it was hard to take it all in, just to much talking my GF sent all kinds of food from her restaurant for us--after all we're Italian, has to be lots of food and I was glad for some quiet time with my friends, but the rest was crazy And my goofy DD got scared cuz there were body guards around, she's thinking it's the mafia and my dear SIL told her if u watched the news u'd know who these people were and there is no mafia here. So she felt better--she got scared. And Joey didn't stray to far from me in case I needed him, Bless his heart. I pretty much stayed to myself while my sister worked the room--let her be the one, not me. It was kind of good to hear, one of the maintenance men who worked at the court house came on crutches, he just had a knee replacement and I sait to him, why would u come like this, u didn't have to and he said What? It's because it's Mike, then he said he was the only judge that talked to everyone in the court house and when he became chief judge, he was the exact same way, the others thought their chit didn't stink. And he'd get us in on jokes he played, well that sounded like my brother---Well enough from me. I've been so tired, I have to stop thinking for a while.
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Yes Cammi.... Sorry for everything..... but so glad Joey was close to you.... Your Brother sounds like a fun, very well liked man! Oh, and yes they WERE Mafia.... Ha! If anyone is Italian, they have Mafia connections, SOMEhow.... I just read a book by Dick Kreck about the Mafia/Smaldones in this area, from years ago.... So much was going on, even with my FIL being involved... But the Smaldones were the NICEST people, with their neighbors, etc. Lots of stories went around, but who knows how much was true.
They had a lot to do with helping Central City get started.... with their water system.... Also read a book about Baby Doe Tabor.... I LOVE the early history of this State, and the people who had a hand in making it what it is.... "The Mad-woman in the Cabin" (I think) is about Baby Doe.... How after her last Husband died, she stayed up in the town of Leadville, with her Matchless Mine...
Her story.... the struggles, with her Daughters.... and the town.... along with Tabor, her Husband.... The author told a very believable story....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_Doe_Tabor
Carole, did you ever hear of that book? We always thought it was her face in the Teller House.... The Face on the Bar-room Floor.... but it wasn't hers....
You know, I couldn't care less for History, when I was in school, but it is really interesting to me now.....
http://www.summitdaily.com/news/8487881-113/doe-baby-tabor-temple
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Cammi, such a sad gathering but how wonderful that so many people attended your brother's services. He was obviously respected and liked. I'm sure you have memories to comfort you. But nothing makes up for the loss of a family member.
We plan to take food to my mother's house today for a noon dinner. She's an old-fashioned country woman and "dinner" will always be a noon meal. The night meal is supper. I had a large Boston butt roast, stuffed with chopped green onions and garlic, cooking in the Crock Pot overnight. I'll make some gravy with the liquid and also cook some cauliflower and cheese sauce. My mother is baking sweet potatoes.
My weight was finally down a lb. this morning so it's time for a good ole heavy Sunday dinner!
We'll be watching the Super Bowl here at home. We don't have a favorite team playing so I really don't care who wins.
Happy Sunday to all.
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Worry never robs
tomorrow of its sorrow,
it only saps today of its joy.
- Leo Buscaglia -
I struggle too with the wt. thing. I just am not as physical as when I lost the 50 pounds -- I was working two and three jobs and volunteering as well. It really isn't possible anymore for me to go like that. Still -- I've kept about 32 of those pounds off and wonder if I'll be able to find a workable pattern so that I can slowly get it down some more.
What really happens with me is that I get ahead by two or three pounds and then the struggle to keep up with some exact timing and getting every meal per day in just gets to me -- and I take a day off and even if I don't cheat -- I don't do well if I'm not desperately harsh with myself it seems. I resist the discipline. I'm just bad that way. I really should have about 25 more pounds gone and that seems just enormous to me.
I sure identified with the statement " old fashioned country woman " Carole. We never had dinner at night -- only supper. I think though we always called the noon meal lunch -- and thinking that came as much as anything from having 'lunch' at school every day.
It is raining here this morning. I think it will be something of an all day thing. We will be fine today but some freezing is expected overnight tonight -- so tomorrow there may be slick spots to watch out for. Not liking that anymore than the gray un-inviting color outside.
Sending hugs and hope and healing energies to Mike, Sandra and Blondie and anyone else who is struggling with any issues of any kind.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Cammi, such a large gathering. It is wonderful that so many people attended your brother's services. Just shows how well liked he was.
Today is snowing here We have well over a foot of snow and more coming down. Tonight is suppose to blowing snow. Sure is bad for driving. We will watch the superbowl game at home tonight. DH has cleared the driveway about 5 times already. Hoping my work will be closed tomorrow.
Have a great week
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Hi everyone
Just checking in to let you know I am back in Ga. I cannot begin to tell you how much I loved my time with Lucia. She is just learning to talk, and when she doesn't want something, instead of just saying "no" she says"no, no, no, no no!" She has also discovered "Frozen" and will bring you the TV remote and say "more" every time you change the channel until you finally start the movie. They are planning her first trip to Disneyworld at the end of March and I will meet them there. Don't know if I can handle full days at the parks, but will do as much as I can.
Carole, I understand your sadness at having someone in hospice. I got a call from my sister yesterday. Our cousin's daughter, a single mom of two, in her early 40's was put in hospice yesterday. She has pancreatic cancer that has spread to her liver. Her kidneys are shutting down. Somehow it is so much worse when it is someone who is so young. Thankfully, her ex, who has remarried has taken custody of the two boys, and he and his new wife have been there for her and her parents in every way possible.
Mike, Sandra and Blondie- my thoughts and prayers are with you always
Ann
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Anne,
I think you talked about your cousin here one other time. I do recall that at the time I had a sense of deep sorrow. I think in so many ways how much pain I might feel had I gotten a different diagnosis than what I did -- and if I were young enough to have kids still in the business of needing to get nurtured and grow into lovely near adults. Cruel in a way for all concerned. A mom who must leave the children and children who must feel her loss too. A father and step-mom who must step in and somehow fill that void.
I am much more spiritual than religious and always trust that God knows what he is doing but it is a matter of having faith ---- I don't know enough spiritually to have total conviction --- that comes later. I also recall your having spoken about the father and your cousin being really ok that he and his wife would take on the responsibility of the young sons. I hope that still having a 'biological' parent to rely on will help keep the boys a little more centered and that they will have a sense of continuity while getting use to the loss of their mother. Just a major adjustment for all concerned. My prayer list has become so long that I just rely on Angel Guides to remember each individual I want to ask blessings for. Probably that way with all of us.
It is after 9 p.m. already and I don't know quite where the day went. I need to get a shower and change the sheets on my bed. I will be here tomorrow all day and tomorrow night as well. I am needed though at my little lady's house. There will be another overnight stay for me. I'll go there very early Tuesday morning and won't be home till ???? sometime Wednesday. The Dr. I work for needs a pacemaker and it will be same day surgery so some time on Wednesday ( could be late ) I will be home. Dh does not have to work so he will fill in for me I think with the feral cats and will take care of our pets here. Some things work out well when you have people who only work part time.
I could have told you all that tomorrow night, but in case I get caught up and don't get on here as much -- you will at least know what is happening.
Anyway --- I'll see you all later.
Jackie
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Jackie, you are quite dedicated to your job...staying over so that the medical procedure can be accomplished. It is hard as we get older and cannot do as much for ourselves. And our children are often far away. They are blessed to have you. So glad your DH can take care of the cats. You bring a lot of love to your neck of the woods...and to us here too!
Carole, I agree with Jackie...my friend who is a therapist often says "you can't compare pain" whether it is emotional or physical. It is happening to YOU and it is relative to your "normal". It is so hard to think about weight control when you can't be as active as you'd like. I truly hope you are on the mend.
And I also agree with your concern over the very difficult challenges that are going on here.Cammi, memorial services are exhausting in every way...but it is a wonderful way to gather with family and old friends to share the fullness of the life that your brother lived. I hope you are resting up and taking care of yourself.
Chevy, I also love the history of Colorado...it's fairly recent and very colorful; and there is so much of it still there to see in the old buildings, railroads, museums and ghost towns. On my last trip I went to Trinidad which just seemed like it would be dull and industrial. Well, the museum there had countless artifacts and wonderful stories and photos of the early settlers, politicians, and townspeople. So much money was made just supplying folks with what they needed to do their jobs or live. CO is my second home. If my grandkids didn't all live in the east, I'd probably retire there.
Sandra, I do think it is a good idea to let others know your needs. You have taken on a lot and also have to field phone calls and fill in updates on Mike. I would think that when he was discharged with an infection, challenging dressing, and IV, that you would get frequent nursing visits for the first week or two. I know the IV port has to be checked and cleaned...a nurse can come to do that.
I am without words for what you are going through. You are both too young to be facing this. I pray that Mike will heal quickly and get the transplant and move on to much better health. Keep hanging on to the positive...to the good outcome you know can occur. Sending hugs and prayers for you both.Jean, you have been through so much...I hope your next report is a good one. We are getting snow again tonight...and it could affect classes tomorrow again. It is week 3 of the semester and I've seen my class once. I will get rain in the morning but work will be snowy. It's messy.
Termite, I will have to check in with my DS in Chicago in the morning. He was hoping for a better winter and so far it is warmer than last year, but here comes the snow.
Be safe everyone, and be grateful for each day.
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Woke up early around 1:30 this morning due to a plow digging out our neighbors driveway. Snow stopped last night but blowing winds have made huge drifts. We got about a foot and a half of snow. Had to force doors open last night to let the dog out because of the drifts. DS came to plow driveway with his plow just as DH started to snowplow it. Saved him a lot of time and work. Work is opening late today but just about the time my shift starts. I was so hoping it would be closed today. Hope everyone is staying safe and warm.
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Chevy, What an amazing group of friends she has! Great video.
Sitting here watching it snow. Both I84 and 81 are shut down, We were supposed to watch a neighbors daughter today, but I imagine her appt. will be cancelled. No even gonna try and dig out yet. Termite you are blessed to have a son who will help you with the snow.
My blood thinner levels were good so no vampires for 2 weeks! Yup this seems like small stuff compared to what our dear care taking ladies have on their plates. Take care of yourself too.
Carole, I can understand how you feel on the weight thing. I lost 38 lbs about 10 years ago and kept it off for a long time. Then retirement and Arimidex did me in. Gained that plus some. I have had to fight it all my life, cud never eat like a normal human. Finally came to terms with the fact I'll never be the thin gal I once was. Lucky DH loves me no matter what. Don't love what I see in the mirror, but that is me!
Lets get our sleds out and have a snow party! Jean
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If you can accept the flow of life and give in to it,
you will be accepting what is real. Only when you accept
what is real can you live with it in peace and happiness.
The alternative is a struggle that will never end because
it is a struggle with the unreal, with a mirage of life
instead of life itself.
Deepak Chopra -
Wow, such a moving video. Brought lots of tears to my eyes -- put me back about 8 yrs. ago when I went to the beauty college here to have all my dead and falling out hair completely removed. It is an emotional thing and I don't take it lightly like this lady's sister and friends would do it for her. A beautiful tribute to love and friendship.
A little sun is trying to peek through, but we did wake up to snow flurries this morning. Not even remotely like what everyone else has gotten. We will having just snow bouncing around in the air -- but nothing much at all sticking to the ground. I actually like snow, but as we have gone the major part of the winter without it -- now I don't truly want it anymore. This is in fact the time of yr. when we DON'T usually get it. A time or two it has warmed in the month of Feb. to not needing coats or even sweaters outside. Don't think that will happen -- but usually Feb. is thaw out time for sure. We will see.
Wish everyone -- especially those who got so much snow could just stay home today but some times the flow must go on. Really seems there are a lot of areas that have just had brutal weather this yr. At least seeing the sun, even a bit muted makes me happier.
Just thinking back to what seems a short while ago and almost all here were doing our old friends chatting together thing, and now so much has changed. I know it is just the fact that life happens and challenges come and must be handled, but it did seem then that only one hurdle at a time would come. I'm always thinking of each and every one but with a lot more emphasis for those who have found big challenges tossed their direction that they must take on.
Wishing you all sun today -- with lots of hope and positive healing energies pushing you into great directions of strength, and comfort on your path.
Will be back off and on today. See you all then.
Blessings
Jackie
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What we all go through.... My DD gave me this CD.... xoxo
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Chevy, how touching. In Sept. 2011 I was just starting my once a week for 12 weeks journey with Taxol.
I have been lurking around for a week or more. A week ago last Friday we made a trip to Iowa again to
pickup the jeep that was to be ready. Well guess what it was not. We took it to a garage in Creston, IA where my Mom lives he said it would take about 1,200 to fix it right. We figured it was worth it. We will be going back to Iowa in June for my Mothers 90th Birthday. So we will get it then.
While gone I had to go to the ER. I have had problems with my right arm and shoulder ever sense my surgery, it seems to be getting worse. It will like almost freeze and hurt something awful. Last Sun.
I could not get it to pop back in, so to the ER we went. They got it back in and it was better. They told me to get a sling and wear it to bed, because that is when it gets screwed up. It has helped. Have go to get in to see my PP. I think when they did my surgery they injured it. Oh Well.
Jackie, we are getting some sun today to be 59.
Hugs to all
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Mommarch.... Yes, a sling.... but is there a way you can tie it close to you when you are in bed? Does the sling work good enough? Or like even put on a T-shirt, without sticking that arm through the sleeve?
Yes, it probably was injured somehow during the surgery.... And does it feel better by using a heating pad while you are relaxing? Can you ask your Doc for any exercises after it starts feeling better, so it doesn't freeze? We'll get you fixed up yet..... hang in there.....
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I survived my 70th birthday and had a wonderful time doing it! My 4 DILs treated me to a girl's weekend on the Oregon coast. The weather was gorgeous (65 degrees) which almost never happens in January, and we stayed in a beautiful condo right on the ocean. I was totally spoiled with yummy food and drink so now it's back to the gym! I was able to keep up with the girls so I guess the 70s won't be so bad after all! I'm going to try to attach a picture of me and my girls.......
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Judy... What a great photo.. . You all look beautiful..! 😃
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Good looking group of women who know how to have a good time -- love the smiling happy faces. Here's to the 70's which will get to me in about 8 more months.
Jackie
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This quote is for tomorrow. I hope to get back home to my computer by Wednesday afternoon. I'll see you all then.
"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't
resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow
naturally forward in whatever way they like." ~ Lao Tzu
Blessings,Jackie
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Great pix
Sandra thinking about u n mike
cammie big hugs
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Sandra, your leg cramps and feeling nauseous sounds like dehydration to me. I know when you're busy caring for someone else's needs, you sometimes don't think about something as simple as drinking water. I know I don't like to interrupt whatever I'm doing to get a glass of water so I've begun to carry a bottle of water everywhere.......even while moving around my house. You and Mike are in my thoughts daily hoping you're getting close to finding a suitable donor.
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Our world has become quite small as it revolves around Mike. He begins chemo next week. Every day for 5 days, then off 25 days. Cycles will continue until transplant. The doctors are optimistic that this can buy him as much as 6 months in case finding a donor takes longer than we hope.
Hooking up IV antibiotics and dealing with his PICC line has been easy. Changing the dressing on his chest remains difficult since it hurts him to remove the bandage and I don't want to cause him any pain. In the past while dealing with my own 6 surgeries, we've dealt with three different home health care companies - all of them bad. Mike actually fired all three because of incompetent nurses and took on the duties himself. It helps that he has worked in the Burn Unit for so long that the staff are our friends. They are a good source of medical advice and treatment when needed. Today we went to see one of the doctors to evaluate the wound on Mike's chest from the port removal. It was not stitched and left open on purpose because he had an infection, but since I didn't have confidence in my nursing skills, I needed a professional's oversight. The type of dressing has been changed to something that will facilitate faster healing and as a bonus, I feel confident I can do the proper care. These days I need to feel I'm helping.
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Sandra,
I'm sure that Mike knows that you're giving excellent care!
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Thanks Chevy, DH on Sunday night tightened up sling and we put a saftey pin in it so it can not budge.
Arm was pretty good yesterday and today also.
Everyone have a good day.
Sandra please take care of yourself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYNOXRifXKQ
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