The Hermit Club

Shelley- it seems like you are getting a lot of pressure from your family and friends to be or do things that are not helpful to you at this time. One of the harder things to negotiate during treatment is other people's emotions, expectations, etc. Perhaps you just need to let everyone know that going out often is not what is helpful to you right now. It is okay to let people know what works for you or not. They are not going through cancer treatment, you are. It is not something we should have to do or even want to do. I had to get pretty truthful with a few people who were not helpful during my treatment process. If you want to go out, then do it on your own terms.

I work for myself and have my own business so I know the challenges of working through treatment and keeping thing goings. I am a freelancer so I don't have business partners, employees, etc. but understand the need to keep working to make money and keep a business going.

When I was diagnosed, I was between contracts with my clients, but was told by my doctors that I would be able to work through treatment and they suggested working PT until I was done with rads. I took a new contract about 2 weeks after my lumpectomy surgery, and worked PT for a number of months for one client, including through radiation treatment. I found continuing to work helped me to keep things going, have an income, etc. but PT so I could get through the rest. It was not easy, but I got through it.

Can you work out with your mother a PT work schedule until you get through the rest of your treatment? Can she hire someone to help PT until you are back on your feet? Her being overworked and you feeling guilty won't help. There is some info on this site about working when you are self employed, what to share or not with customers, clients, etc.

Shelley,i remember that so well, its so isolating, feeling different and odd in a crowd, when the rest of the world trundles on the same.....you got out really early. People just do not understand, I went out to a meeting about a month after surgery, I was shaking inside and petrified. I stayed over an hour and a half but one person turned up just as I was getting ready to leave, as I was way beyond my emotional tolerance by then, and I was forever accused of being unwelcoming to that person even by people i thought were friends and knew it was my first social trip ou

Shelley....everyone is different....I have 6 children.......18 grandchildren, and now 4 3/4 great grandchidren.......

BC came as a shockt o me......after a heart attack in 2007, I thought that was going to be my demise, and had dodged the BC bullet...........was so wrong.........

I had a surgeon who was beyond marvelous, and MO who gave me the confidence I needed, and an RO who assured me "your gonna get through this"..........my team of RO Techs were the greatest and most loving people I had ever met.......even my main Tech "Mark"......young, handsome, and the bluest eyes I had ever seen...........

Funny story.....on my first day my son took me....when "Mark" walked out and said "Genevieve", I said to my son...."Oh no, I did not expect a man".......my son said "Mom he might just be taking you to the back, calm down".........

NOT...........he was my "main man".......there were 2 other ladies in the back too..........with my pink stripped robe on I looked at him and hoped he was going to exit the room............

NOT.........he said "ok, Genevieve remove your robe, and lay down on the table".....................I hesitated and said the only thing that came into my head, and out of my mouth.............

OK honey......................".If you can handle it..........so can I.."................it broke the ice, and we all had a good laugh........

My oldest son drove me 3 days a week to treatments (38 of them), and my youngest daughter took me the other 2 days............I was quite capable of driving, but the said "No we will be here with you through it all"...........

They were, but now it has changed.......so I turned to the ladies here, and found what I needed on a bad day............this place, these women, on many threads will get you through this............

I had no husband for the past 23 years......he died of Pancreatic cancer at 57........I was 56..........so I had no one to help me through the hard times, and I'm not sure he could have......

You will get through this.....but you must keep coming here.......I could suggest Bonfire of the Goddesses thread............and for a ot of laughs........"STFU" thread.............great ladies..........and so funny.........

Give it time.........you can do this.........Remember........."you have cancer, "cancer does not have you"............hugs and prayers.......

By the way I hve a daugher Michele............

Oh and ladiees.........Stella had 3 seizures through the night llast night.........she is in the Vets now, for a couple days..........my daughter and family are devastated............she will go on Phenobarb now.....

Ducky- I hope Stella pulls through. She is a real cutie, and am sure you all love her to pieces.

Thanks for sharing your story with all of us. I knew some things, perhaps not everything and you are one tough lady!

No snowshoeing today, I heard the crest snow melted from the storm this week so I am home working on the final touches for the bedrooms to move out a few more things. I have to take my home office set up apart today (Printer, wireless router, modem, etc.) and took some time to write things down so I can put it back together correctly. Last time I did it, I was not successful in getting it working again, but have a company who can come in to help should I need it.

Concerned- I hope your wife's surgery goes well tomorrow, and that she is home soon and recovers well from everything.

I hope you are taking care of yourself too as best you can.

Mags- LOL.

How are you doing today? And the shoulder?

Mags- well that stinks about your good shoulder now hurting. I hope icing and pain pills will help but shoulder pain is like no other. I am sorry you are hurting so. Hugs, sister.

I am glad you have rides to your treatment. That will give your cousin a break, and know DH is likely working. Support comes in the most amazing ways. I am grateful you have this help.

Stella is taking PhenoBarb for her seizures.............I might steal some if this is what it does......LOL

I am on my big computer where I have never before had a problem submitting comments on BCO.  I just wrote and tried to submit a moderately long entry ... it did not post.  I am going to try again. 

Onco, I've been taking it too to help me sleep for about a month and a half. I have the same thing happening along with light sensitivity.

Cami- I see you posting on a couple threads today and like it!

But sorry about your nails. Have you been out running marathons again? I know how you are......

Hi Sally- good to hear from you. Sorry you are having posting problems. We will be patient and wait for more from you.....

Footprints- how are things today with you?

Bippy- where are you and how are you doing?

How about Monis and Maiden?

Floors got done today and are setting over night. I am going to let my green chili stew simmer a bit longer, then head out to the gym and some errands. Tomorrow we finish up here and will post pics when the rooms are put back together in all their glory.....

We have a storm coming......

Jazzy............LMAO................

Lilly- my first reaction is positive to your question, but would like to understand more too? Is is a place where you can get away to restore, have a like minded cancer survivor who understands where you have been, maybe provide some support and resources to you that you have been needing? Would it be like a cancer retreat where there is a program of things to do with others, or just a get away place to just have some gentle time to yourself ?

When you say catered, you mean meals provided? I say "oh yeah" to that girlfriend. Every woman deserves to have a nice meal prepared and served to her.

I think we have all found it is wonderful to have people to connect to that understand our journey, as most just cannot relate to any of this stuff we go through and still go through as we seek to find our new normal.

Love to hear more?

Onco- I hope the sleeping and the ears are better soon. You need good rest so you can get out and skate some more. And there is a new clock coming?

Ducky- I thought that was hilarious. When I saw it, I immediately thought of you!