Upcoming double mastectomy due to BRCA1 risk

Hi everyone!

I have an extensive family history of breast cancer with the BRCA1 gene and was tested three years ago when I was 23. I tested positive but was told I should not have children after the surgeries and that I needed to wait until I was 28 or 29. Fast forward to yesterday, I met with a new doctor, a breast surgeon, who told me I didn't need to wait any longer for the surgeries and if I wanted I could have more children after the surgeries. I have an MRI scheduled for next week, and will meet with my doctor again the week after that. Now, here is where I would like some input.

I have already been dwelling on this for three years, and that is rough. Everyone else in my family was already in their thirties when they discovered they had the gene and had their mastectomies (or cancer, depending on the family member) so they went right into it. I had to wait and the waiting and anticipation was torture. So now that I have the chance to have it done, I'd like to jump on it, especially since my current insurance will cover EVERYTHING, reconstruction included. My parents and one of my sisters lives 2 hours away and my other sister, the one who has had this surgery already, lives across the country. So I don't have any help available to me in here immediate area. My oldest sister, we will call her J, has had this surgery but she has very sensitive skin, heals at a snail's pace, and shares a pre-existing condition with me and our middle sister, we will call her R, called POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, it effects the autonomic nervous system so in short, everything your body does without you thinking about it) and POTS always brings a host of new issues and complications to any situation.

When I told J about being able to have the surgery when I wanted she told me to wait even longer and enjoy my body while it is intact because she had a terrible experience with her body rejecting the implants, staples, sutures...just about everything. So far she has had upwards of around 6 or 7 surgeries. When I told R about it, she said to wait till next summer so that I can go back to our parents' house so that they, and my sister can care for me and my 3 year old son. My mom won't be working next summer, my brother in law is a teacher and my sister won't be working that summer either so, yes, a plethora of help, but the catch is unless I travelled the two hours as soon as I got out of the hospital I would have to switch surgeons to a Cleveland based one and quite frankly, I am happy and comfortable with my surgeon and I don't want to switch. I know what a bad patient/surgeon relationship can do, it happened to my sister. My mother won't even return my phone calls to discuss this.

I desperately want to stay in my own shabby little apartment with my own things around me where I will be comfortable and at home instead of imposing on my family for nearly a month.

Very long story short, are there any resources for low income families to help with home care or child care while a patient is recovering? None of our "friends" are willing to help and I want to do this by the end of summer if possible. But it seems as if my family only wants to help if I do it their way. My mom drops everything to fly out to Vegas to help J through her surgery and a short amount of recovery time but she won't even return my phone calls. Despite being surrounded by family with the gene and experience with this, I still feel so isolated and alone and would love to hear any input on how I can get the help I need without having to ask my family, because they are making it abundantly clear that it's their way or hearing about it and being guilted over it until I die...which is not preferable.

Thank you ladies, I apologize about the length of my rant, it has been a very long couple of years and an even longer two days.

Colleen Whitcomb