Reaching out for support...

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  • Beachbum1023
    Beachbum1023 Member Posts: 1,417
    edited January 2015

    Good afternoon Dede22023,

    I am so glad you had a fantastic trip to the beach and glorious sun! I have a frozen Lake Erie and snow. Pretty but, I am waiting for Spring.

    I so get it, the waiting is the worst of the process. But the treatment flew by for me. I look at where I was July 1, and it's now January already.

    I finished chemo and mastectomy surgery, so I am ready and feeling great to continue this journey. And you will do well also. I hope you have your news soon, and go to battle armed with, love and support, and all the information to answer every question and concern. May your road be smooth and uneventful with sunny skies to follow you. Good Luck!


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  • april25
    april25 Member Posts: 772
    edited January 2015

    It's great to know that you went on your trip. Life goes on no matter what else is happening and focusing on the good times has got to be a positive.

    Telling others will just evolve as it will. I'm private but I didn't want to worry about who knew and who didn't so I told a few and said it was ok to spread the word. This helped among my relatives as I discovered some also had BC which was useful to know for genetic tests. I ended up posting on FB since I preferred to just get it over with... and I connected with distant friends who had their own BC journey and have been a wonderful support. But everyone is different and there are so many solutions as to how things can be handled.

    I live on my own but my sister is devoting all her time and effort to me. It does make me sad and guilty. .. but I hope I'd do the same if our positions were reversed .

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  • kris1114
    kris1114 Member Posts: 82
    edited January 2015

    Kids are more understanding than you know. My daughter is 6. I just make sure I am honest with her, but I do hide any heightened emotion from her and always smile and try to keep normal and stay in routine.

    My daughter has done back flips to help me. Feeding the dogs, walking them (they are small) getting me water, and ALL without ever ever asking her. She wants to help.

    Just keep things as normal as you can and you may just be surprised.

    Also, accept the help, but savor your independence at the same time. You are a brave strong person and you will know when you need help and take it when you need it. It is so comforting to feel the love surrounding you!

    Take care!!!

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  • SweetHope
    SweetHope Member Posts: 439
    edited January 2015

    What a precious child. "A son is a son 'til he takes a wife. A daughter is a daughter the rest of her life."

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  • kris1114
    kris1114 Member Posts: 82
    edited January 2015

    Aww, my male cousins are grown now at 39 and 43 (both married) and still honor their mother and treat her like gold. I think I just come from good genes! :)

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  • kris1114
    kris1114 Member Posts: 82
    edited January 2015

    Also, If you ever need to talk, PM me and I'm sure just about everybody else would say the same thing. We all want to support one another. It has helped me SO much! <3

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  • Ever45
    Ever45 Member Posts: 8
    edited January 2015

    Hi Dede and Zizi,

    I'm so sorry to you both for having to be here. The beginning is the hardest.

    You've gotten some amazing comments and support fromm this group.

    I wanted to add that I was extremely uncomfortable telling people. I am a very private person but a social one too. I began my journey telling 2 very good friends. Both cried and were hysterical. They actually were not supportive in any way! My husband has been my rock. I waited to tell my girls aged 12 and 9 until I had a plan and could talk without crying. There is no right way. Just follow your heart.

    You've got this.

    Feel free to PM me! :)

    xo

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  • kris1114
    kris1114 Member Posts: 82
    edited January 2015

    My friends got teary, but all have been rocks and amazingly supportive. All check on me daily, but don't keep the focus on cancer. Everyone has tried to keep things normal.

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  • Dede22023
    Dede22023 Member Posts: 11
    edited January 2015

    Up for the day and off to get my Port put in, my CT Scan done, and my Echo done...busy day! God is on my shoulder...enjoy today!

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  • SweetHope
    SweetHope Member Posts: 439
    edited January 2015

    Please let us know about your port. Mine goes in next week.

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  • Hopeful82014
    Hopeful82014 Member Posts: 3,480
    edited January 2015

    Good luck with it all, Dede!

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  • Dede22023
    Dede22023 Member Posts: 11
    edited January 2015

    OH!! such a busy day yesterday! My Port placement ended up on my right hand side. My surgeon tried the left side but the veins were too small. In to process, a vein was perforated so I had bleeding in to my lung (VERY painful night!) and ended up back in the clinic last night for an x-ray and blood work to make sure the bleeding was stopping. The port isn't near as painful as the lung is! Also had a CT scan and my ECHO yesterday, so it was a full day. I'm back in today for another x-ray and bloodwork, as well as a node biopsy. I start chemo on Tuesday and we are meeting with our kids this weekend to tell them the news and give them the plan. What a roller coaster!

    Our nurses at the clinic and hospital yesterday were SO loving and supportive!! I'm good and can keep the tears under control until one of the reaches out and takes my hand...then I am just a puddle! I wish they wouldn't say "good luck to you" however...I need to hear "you can do this!", or some other phrase that makes me feel that there is more to getting past this than "luck"! Any phrases that you have heard from your providers that really lift your spirits?

    Have a great day everyone...thanks for your support as we take this journey!! Dede

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2015

    Hi Dede, he wasn't a provider per se, but my salon stylist, who's been cutting my hair since the dark ages and has had cancer himself, told me when I had those dark thoughts and fears about "what if" and "what's out there waiting for me", to tell myself another story. It works a lot of the time!

    Hugs, and you WILL do this.

    Claire in AZ

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  • Beachbum1023
    Beachbum1023 Member Posts: 1,417
    edited January 2015

    Hi Dede, usually the fatigue doesn't start for a while yet! What a day you had, and another roller coaster today. I'm so sorry you have a rough time with the port. But you will be very happy you have it later. I hope your day today is calm and easy. You have a very big weekend coming as well. Fill it with laughter, joy, and support! Positive attitudes matter, and it really helps.

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  • Dede22023
    Dede22023 Member Posts: 11
    edited January 2015

    Hey Beachbum...you always have the right words that just make my day! All done for today! Slapping a piece of salmon on a salad for lunch (or rather my hubby is)...what an awesome guy he is! I'm so lucky and blessed to have him in my life!! Enjoy the weekend!! Dede

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  • Pokemom1959
    Pokemom1959 Member Posts: 198
    edited January 2015
    I only told a few select people - my husband and kids of course and my immediate family. I told my best friends and confided in a couple of friends who had gone through breast cancer. I suprised myself by telling someone I'd just met the other day - just becase our conversation turned in the direction of cancer and treatment. I did not tell my work because it didn't affect my work. By far my strongest support was a woman I met on these boards who lives across the country from me. We were diagnosed about the same time with similar diagnoses. We e-mailed nearly every day during treatment and she was my lifeline. She understood what I was going through like no one in my family could. I thank God for her and know that she helped me get through this - we helped each other. Although we're both NED now and don't talk as frequently, I know that we will keep in touch - she has a special place in my heart and some day, I hope to meet her in person. xox Maryanne.
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  • bridgegal25
    bridgegal25 Member Posts: 60
    edited January 2015

    Hi Maryanne -- being just diagnosed myself I read your post and totally agree that finding someone to share with who has a very similar dx to yourself is huge support.  This board is wonderful and of course, the one I didn't want to join.   I will find everything out next Friday when I have my first meeting with the breast surgeon, armed with my kids and my tape recorder. The roller coaster ride has been huge the last few weeks.  I hope Friday it gets a little less bumpy.   Shirl

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited January 2015

    I read your thread, Dede, and I totally get the privacy thing. I was just diagnosed Tuesday and I just don't know who I want to tell. I liked the gossip approach. I am glad you went on your trip. St. Maarten is one of the most beautiful places on earth.


    I am going to keep reading your thread and hoping for the best for you.

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  • Hopeful82014
    Hopeful82014 Member Posts: 3,480
    edited January 2015
    Trvler: I'm so sorry that you're in this boat, too. Being diagnosed with breast cancer (or any cancer) is miserable, in all kinds of ways.

    I hope you'll find information ( on the main site) and support (here) that will help make things a bit easier for you. Take care, and best wishes.
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