The Hermit Club
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Getting better ........just the cough and co[ngestion.............otherwise ok
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Got up early and drove myself to physical therapy. Josie did a bit of range of motion assessment active & passive then took me through some exercises she wants me to do twice a day. Half an hour later I begged for ice and she iced the shoulder. For me the ice is not to reduce inflammation but to numb it. Drove home, and an hour later had to take half a percocet and half a muscle relaxer as the pain was so bad. When I arrived, Josie asked my pain level, I said 6. By the time I took the meds it was a 9.5. Rested a while, DH made me an egg sandwich, now I'm in the studio with the laptop and a cup of coffee (peppermint mocha). This bed chair supports my arms so they're not hanging loose, which is painful. I just don't know how I'm going to get through this. I can't take my celebrex until after the nerve block Wednesday, or even ibuprofen, so that makes it that much worse.
Wish I could just take it easy, but I have to do these exercises! Twice a day! Ouch!
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Relaxing and a bit sore tonight from doing the shovelling snow we had today
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Mags- oh this shoulder thing sounds so hard for you. Pain of 9.5 is the worst. I know PT helps, but hurts in the process. Your poor body is just wanting a reprieve. We get dragged through the worst things with this. I am wishing you better days.
Anyways, I am glad that your chair is helping in all that and the coffee sounds really good. Is the peppermint mocha from Starbucks? Those are the best......
Mommy- I am glad you are doing better and actually shoveling! How much snow did you get? I miss CT, but not those winters.
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Hi everyone. I am new here. Diagnosed 12/1. My surgery is Monday. I'm 35. I've always been fairly introverted and preferred a quiet lifestyle. My husband and I have always preferred to sit at home and watch movies and cook dinner than to go out. I have no kids and three dogs. Now that this happened to me I feel like I am having to force myself to do things like go to work, out to eat, etc. I don't want to be in social situations where I'll be asked about the cancer or someone will say something stupid that will make me feel bad. It's a double edged sword because the more I sit at home the more I obsess and think the worst, but I feel safest at home. It's like I can't win either way with my feelings. I want to lay in bed or on the couch and read all day, but I can't spend the rest of my life that way. I've had friends reach out to me and try to get me to do fun things like dinner or a pedicure but I just haven't wanted to participate. I have some anxiety and depression issues to work through as well. I'm just trying to hang in there. Glad to connect with you all.
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Shelley- I am sorry you have found yourself in this situation, but glad you found our thread. Being newly diagnosed is very overwhelming. Hermitting is a natural thing to do as you go through treatment, perhaps you and your husband enjoy alone time anyways.
Here are a couple things that helped me during the very beginning and as I went through treatment:
- I had to learn to not let other people tell me what I need. Don't put pressure on yourself to socialize, go out to eat, help others to understand what you are going through. You need your energy to take care of yourself and get through treatment.
- Don't be afraid to ask for help. I learned to be very specific with people as I knew what help I needed. You may not know this right away, but it will be clearer as you go through this. Please pick up my mail at my PO box, take me to the store, stop over for a visit, pick up my meds at Walgreens, come watch a movie with me.
- Work can be a slippery slope. Many people need to work through treatment, I did for part of mine. I just went in, did my thing and left. I worked PT as I went through rad treatment, then would go home to rest the rest of the day. I took a contract with a long time client and just told her I had had some recent surgery and could only work 8-2 each day. Then I would go home and rest the rest of the day. Working helps to keep your mind from dwelling on things. Working actually helped me to stabilize my life on at least one level.
- It is okay to tell people you don't want to talk about it. I found myself being asked so many questions from well meaning people about things I could never answer. Some people will give you their opinion about your treatments or judge how they think you are coping with it. I figured out who could be present with me and my situation pretty quickly.
- If you need to get out and take a break, do so with people who can do that with you. Short outings may be all you feel like doing. Even having someone take you for a drive or out to get a Starbucks coffee can be such a nice break.
I am glad you have your surgery date scheduled and no doubt are preparing for that. We will be here on the other side as you come through that. Let us know how else we can help you?
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Shelly.........I am old enough to be your Grandmother........WE all hate to meet under these conditions, but we are all here for each other.........Your feelings were once our feelings, but it does get better........Once you have a plan, and can see down the road things will be seen more clearly........take one day at a time........get good Dr's......liten to what tey tell you, and soon you will understand it all much better........We have all been there, and here we still are........we will also be here for you.....love and hugs......your gonna do ok..............
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Welcome shelly
Hey ducky, mags, daisy, onco, mommy and jazzy
Daisy, thanks so much appreciate it.
Ducky r u feeling any brtter, u need anything
Am in have a birthday psrty tomorrow, other than that in
Hope everyone thst is sick feels better.
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Getting there Blondie............still with the cough and congestion, tired of cx soup, but its better then nothing, and easy going down..........I think I'm seeing the light at the end of th tunnel.........still an' believe I got the Flu with the shot........
CDC better do better next 'year........so many sick people..........just glad I got the shot.........imagine where I would be had I not.......
Hope your ok......take care of yourself.....I might go to the store tomorrow........but then I said that today too.......LOL........hugs Sweetie........
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thank you for the advice and warm welcome.
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Maiden, my son is 6'4" as well - did I already mention that? They do grow up so fast. I used to call my 6' 1" tall daughter "shorty"! Does your son enjoy athletics? He should try rowing - he's a great height for it
I like feel-good movies - romantic comedies and some lighter dramas, adventure movies if they're not too tense. I thoroughly enjoyed "The Theory of Everything" about Stephen Hawkins' life. We saw "Into the Woods" and enjoyed the first half very much. It slowed down/"got weird" (my daughter's words) about half way through though. My daughter and I watch "The Proposal" over and over again - we just LOVE that movie. We find it very amusing that Alaska looks just like our favorite Massachusetts coast day trip destination, Rockport. I just asked my husband if there are any movies out there that we want to see and he said "The Hobbit" movie. HaHaHa... Enjoy your time with your son.
Jazzy, I definitely should figure some sort of training program out. I do the treadmill and ride my recumbent stationary bike, but need to add weight training. I have a breast cancer exercise book somewhere here in my bedroom... I need to make my way over to the decluttering thread maybe?
Mommy, I have my dog trained (he does this reliably just for me) - I take out a treat, show it to him, send him out to do his business, then give him his treat when he returns. We have deer and other smaller creatures traveling through our yard - the treat ensures that he doesn't head off into the woods... I don't go out in the bitter cold anymore. Some would call me a weather wimp.
Mags, how did the second set go today? Could you do it? Would they be easier in the shower? hugs and prayers...
Ducky and Blondie, next time I drive to Philly, you will have to let me run an errand or two for you... Stay warm and Ducky, get well. Blondie, Happy Birthday!? Whose birthday? Love the welcome mat.
Shelley, I remember those early days - Jazzy is right. You should do whatever feels right to you. Once you have surgery, receive your pathology report, and get a treatment plan, it will become less stressful. Whenever you need support, these women on this thread are the best. Takeout can provide a nice break from cooking and cleaning up. It all gets easier...
Happy Saturday!
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Good Morning ladies----I' so far behind, but I did read all the posts but now I can' remember much. Chit
Welcome Shelley, u are so newly diagnosed it takes a bit to have I all register--listen to Jazy, she always thinks things thru--and personaly I would say do exactly as u eel like doing--no pressure to go thru things u normally don't do. And u'r furbaies are going tto be a joy for u.
MO finally u'r OK--I still have some cough let, but not much--I didn't even have this cold as bad as others, but my DD's had it bad, one ended up in the hospital for dehydration and she's my water girl-so she was out from work all week,but she too can do work from home if needed.
Jay u'r colors sound wonderful, it's so exciting to get all that work done.
Mags I'm so sorry i'r having all these problems with u'r shoulder, that pain must be horrible.
Blondie U are amazing, prayers or u my darling.Onco, WI---we're in a cold blast that even closed schools this week and so cold at nite too. Not much snow tho just colder than a witches ---nose.
Sally I was going to say something to u, but u know I forgot, in fat I forgot a few things now, Oh I do work from home but it's not a crazy job, just answering phone, nessages and iling , of course al in the computer now a days--but I'm home so much it works out ok or me.
My sister was getting the shots for her knees, but they don't work anymore so she got gel pads put in, cuz she's bone on bone and it was a painful week for her, so she stayed home from work, meaning all she did was call me, put me on speaker and her and my BIL talked for hrs. I told her this isn't going to fly when she retires LOL
Oh I start all my Dr. stuff in a couple o weeks, Istill hate going--I never get used to it==but my Drs, offices are right in the hospital, where all my tests can be done--so I like that part.
I;m sorry I'm forgetting everyone, I never mean to that's for sure. Hope everyone has a good day and keep warm.
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Jazzy- got about 3 inches here of the nice fluffy stuff.
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Blondie- is the birthday party for you or someone else?
Daisy- I am so decluttering right now. Pulling apart the spare bedrooms today to prepare them for painting and knowing there will be things that won't be going back in. I heard there is a decluttering thread here too.
Mommy- not too much snow, that is good to hear.
Cami- I am right with you on hating to do all the dr. apts. Two more this month. Always feels heavy.
Onco- I hope you are staying warm. Are you skating this winter?
I finished my short contract yesterday and now on to the renovations. I will be glad to have the rest of the rooms painted and flooring finished in the remaining bedrooms.
Hope everyone here has a good day/weekend and is getting better and keeping warm.
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hi shelly, welcome to the hermits! we all know how the initial stages of this experience suck. Jazzys advice is spot on. I say also, join some other boards here as apply to you. Chemo board here saved my sanity and spirit during that process. Ditto for the surgery board. Remember you don't even have to post, but can read and others experiences are very helpful too. Support is here though, so don't be afraid to connect with others. best wishes in all things!
hi to my regular hermits, mags, thinkin of you and that chair, peppermint coffee....hope you get thru shoulder rads.
Hi jazzy, onco, ducky, camile, lily, everyone else! I have been venturing outside and feeling so much better. Rads start Jan 20, so I have a few more days of vacation, hahahahaha. Onco says I had CPR, and that is what they "dream of" for patients. I cried with joy, and really am in disbelief about it. Such good news.....
Made my trademark creamy chicken coconut thai soup, oh, so good. These little things make life special. Stay warm my cold climate hermettes! I shant tell ya our Fla. Weather
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Welcome Shelley. I will be thinking of you on Monday. You said you feel safest at home. I know that feeling; it has gotten better with time. Women here on breastcancer.org told me that in time I would feel like reaching out again. They have been right. They also told me that everyone's time schedule is different. Like Ducky said, we will be here for you.
Cami, it sounds like your daughter is home from the hospital ... I hope ... I also hope that that darn bug is gone from everyone in your family soon. Cami, I hate going to doc appointments too. I hope yours go smoothly.
Jazzy, I am picturing you getting ready for painting week. You mentioned more doc appointments ... I thought you were finished. Do these cause anxiety? I have my three month check up on Tuesday ... it is causing me anxiety which I am keeping at bay, sort of, with some chores. Yesterday I cleaned part of a closet out, so today I am going to take some stuff to a charity. For some reason, getting rid of stuff that is no longer needed and organizing messy closets is fun for me.
Bippy, wonderful news hearing that you had CPR.
Hi M0mmy, Mags, Onco, Blondie, and Daisylover.
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Morning Hermies. Daisy, I never did my second set – had to ice both shoulders down even to get to sleep, and again this morning. The right shoulder feels like the left one did when the rotator cuff was sliced almost in half by bone spurs. And I know what did that, it was working them out, reps of shoulder movement that eventually nearly severed them. I might be able to do these if I focus on stretching slowly instead of quick reps. I might try the shower idea, the warm water might loosen things up.
Today is my cousin's 78th birthday. She moved in with us 3 years ago, and she's been my mom, sister, companion, confidante, chauffeur, cook, and caregiver. She's got amazing energy even when she says she's tired. She sings in choir at church, and leads a group of women who are widowed or divorced. She's been a widow for over 25 years, took care of her parents until they passed away in their 90's a few years ago. She has kids, step kids, grandkids and great grandkids, but DH and I are her main family now. And all 3 of us wouldn't have it any other way. We're taking her to a restaurant by the lake for dinner, her choice.
So that's what I'm doing today.
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Jazzy, there is no place like home. Hey I thought that you were busy decluttering...
Cami, it's good to have sisters in our lives, but I really hate speakerphone - just a pet peeve of mine. My sister and her husband do that to me all the time and sometimes my son does too...
Blondie, enjoy that party!!!
Mommy, we barely got an inch, but they plowed my street - our tax $$$ at work... Hopefully your dog loves the fluffy white stuff. You should hunt for some of Mags' peppermint coffee
Bippy, YAY for CPR and creamy chicken coconut thai soup! My daughter is in Florida for spring training for rowing - swimming in the Atlantic Ocean during her time off... up here I would not even stick my toe in the Atlantic
Pretty sure that you are enjoying a very different sort of weather! A warm beach is my "happy place". Is the soup hot or cold? Enjoy!
Shelley, hang in there, you can hibernate until it feels right to venture forth. Friends and family will understand. Protect yourself until you are stronger - and you will be. As they say here on BCO, I will be "in the bag" for Monday - hope it's smooth sailing. With surgery behind you, and treatment determined, you can start to feel more control.
Sally, very nice work cleaning out. Wish you lived closer to share your talents and enthusiasm - my intentions are good, but my piles are daunting. Today, instead of decluttering, I will be replacing my broken dishwasher and searching for new eyeglass frames (the better to see the mess?)...
Mags, I shudder to think of your pain. I feel like there has to be a better path. I usually feel better the day after (day of is painful) PT. Do you trust your therapist? Do not overdue the exercise? Can you find another therapist? second opinion? Well, you are a trouper. Your cousin definitely deserves the meal of her choice! I would say that everyone should have dessert to celebrate her birth - I admit that I ate 3 cannoli's last night when out to dinner with my friend (it was a single dessert item!), and it really changed my mood for the better - I still remember the taste dreamily... not too sweet, light and fluffy with a slight crunch, hint of nuts and chocolate... Worth it. I am eating super healthy today! Family celebrations give one such a feeling of connection. It's so special to share your home and church with her. Celebrate your cousin with gusto! But, try to get a chair with arms? do you have a sling for immobilizing/supporting your shoulder(s)? You want to be comfortable for the party! Can I be in the bag for dinner? Happy pain-free thoughts...
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Mommy, is it snowman snow? Or snow angel? enjoy.
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Mags- oh the shoulder thing sounds so painful. I think trying different things is all you can do.
So nice about your cousin's birthday and the outing. She is certainly your angel with all she has done to help you and DH through this. There are people in this world who are just oriented to helping others, she is clearly one of them. I am glad you are going to go enjoy a nice dinner to celebrate. Dinner by the lake conjures up a nice visual for me.
I have done one of three bc related apts that will happen this month. I did go to the MO's office for the check in there. They are the ones who help me with the AIs, SE's and check my over all bloodwork to make sure there may not be something brewing elsewhere. I did not hear anything on the bloodwork yet, so hopefully all is okay there. Also waiting to hear on whether I can do the Prolia shots to help the bone health now or not.
I will be going later in the month for the mammo/ultrasound and then to see the BS the following week. Then I will be done with this follow up and I will go back in July for the next one. And yes, I do feel anxiety every time I go. This is my fourth one, I go every 6 months and sort of know what to expect with the process (takes 1-2 to get used to it), but of course, you never know what they are going to say, find, more tests they may want you to do, etc. I sort of lay low and hold my breath as I go through it. Fortunately, it is not as bad as going through treatment.
Cami- I missed about your daughter being in the hospital, so I went back and read your post again. I hope she is better and getting rest now. This flu season is wicked.
Back to the bedrooms. Got half of one almost cleared out.
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Onco, I missed you! You love to skate? My son does too - was a figure skater, then ice dancer. Daughter only skated from pre-school to kindergarden cause her brother did... It's cruel irony - those years of freezing at skating competitions. I took them to learn-to-skate to avoid public skating with them hanging on - I hate the ice. My Dad built a rink every winter... Are Nestor Johnson racers actually speed skating skates? How do you stay off your butt? I tried skating lessons as an adult - when I got going - hit a divot and splatttt... Hope your news is that you made it safely around the rink on your new skates! Wear mittens and hat (and butt pad?). Stay warm.
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hi onco warrior, I'm having a lumpectomy. I get to come home and snuggle with my dogs afterward.
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I need to be very brief but have now split up with my partner. I am living in very temporary rental accommodation with 3 dogs and 3 cats and no garden but taking mountain walks almost every day. Its quite stressful but a different kind of stress as I feel there is space for a surprise to pop in............I have no income, no job and no proper home, I miss my own bed hugely but I have to follow my heart and intuition as I was so stuck. Physically I still feel yuk, and never realised how much a ladys garden could dry out.....some days I think maybe i am having a breakdown but I am trying to stay with the energy and trust I will be ok, although no idea how!
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Hey Lily, I am a relatively new Hermit. I just want to let you know that I am rooting for you! If you can handle 3 dogs and 3 cats, you seem ready for anything! I pray that you will find a more permanent home quickly. Walking in the fresh mountain air sounds invigorating. May the beauty of the world around you lift your spirit and give you the strength and courage to continue on your path of renewal. Stay strong.
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Lily- you have taken a huge step. I know it is all very scary right now, but the relationship did not sound good for you. You have made one change for yourself and will make more as you adjust. And I am glad the dogs are with you. Hopefully you have enough money to tide you over for awhile until you can make the next step.
One of my favorite quotes is "sometimes the only transportation available is a leap of faith." I took a leap of faith when I picked up and moved to NM almost 19 years ago, and also when I went out on my own to open a consulting firm eight years ago. Some circumstances in my life I did not want pushed me to do both of those things. They have worked out too. None of this is easy, but you just keep taking it one day at a time and doing the things that are good for Lili, okay? You are surviving and working toward thriving again.
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Shelley- I had lumpectomy surgery too. They will also check your sentinal node in your armpit (or more depending on if they have concerns). The small incision where the checked the node was more bothersome to me than the breast incision. Everything has healed well and two plus years later, you cannot really see much of anything.
There are women here who swear by recliners if you have one as you won't be sleeping on your side or front for a little bit. I don't have a recliner, but put pillows on each side of me at night to keep me from rolling around.
Eating protein is really key when recovering from surgery. My doctor friend who helped me through it and all my other doctors reminded me to eat as much protein as possible. Helps to rebuild the tissue and muscle near the node.
We will be here for you on the other side of the surgery. Again, I am sorry you are going through this.
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