Newly diagnosed at age 30

I apologize if this seems long winded, but I am ready to share my story and happy to get insight/advice as what I can expect from my chemo/hormonal treatment and life after diagnosis.

I found the lump myself on August 7, 2014 during a self examination; had an ultra sound, mammogram and core needle biopsy on August 13 and received my ICD diagnosis on August 19th.  I elected to have a bilateral mastectomy with SNB (I do not want to ever have to deal with this again) which was completed on November 12/14.  Unfortunately 2 days before my surgery my plastic surgeon broke his hand so I will have to have my reconstruction done at a later date.

I am happy to say that my surgeon was able to get clear margins (tumor size was larger than expected at 3.5cm) and my lymph nodes came back clean.  My tumor is ER+, PR+ and HER2-; I should be starting chemo any day know (just waiting to hear from the Cancer Clinic).  Originally my oncologist wanted to do 3 months of AC (1 round every 3 weeks) and 3 months of T (1 round every week) and then 10 years of Tamoxifen (seems long!!).  Unfortunately my mother and grandfather on my dad's side both had Leukemia therefore we have elected to go for a different treatment option as we feel the risks are too great for me taking "A" chemo drug.  I will now only be doing 3 months of TC and either 5 or 10 years of Tamoxifen.

Since I am 30 and my husband is 37 we were upset to hear that I would not be able to get pregnant for at least 12 years (due to Tamoxifen); that puts us up in age before we would even be able to conceive (not to mention possibility of a high risk pregnancy due to age).  I asked about getting my ovaries removed (I had already made peace with the prospect of not being able to have children before finding out hormone status of my cancer); my oncologists things I am rushing my decision and that I should wait it out.  She stated 42 is still young to have children (keeping in mind my husband will be almost 50!).  I am trying to research what has more risks....staying on Tamoxifen for that long or having to do hormonal replacement therapy.  Has anyone had to deal with this dilemma?  Did anyone elect for an Oophorectomy?

This whole ordeal has been such a whirl wind.  Mentally I good and fully understand everything I can laugh and joke around (as they say a negative thought will kill you quicker than a germ) but I do not know how I emotionally feel.  I feel numb to the whole situation (not sad, not angry, not happy, etc.)

Any and all advice is welcome!!

Hi Farmerlucy, thank you so much for the link! It was a good read and makes me hopeful for the future!