Winter rads 2014-2015

LMVerna congrats on being done and I hope your skin recovers quickly. The RO said it is standard procedure for women who have mastectomies so that they can treat the skin better. I was told I will have it every other treatment and it can cause the skin to be more red but they will stop it if my skin starts to peel etc. I'm hoping I don't have any problems. I finished # 3 of 30 today.

I was directed here by Pontiac Peggy, she said to look for LINKY

Hi All -

My lumpy area is finally starting to decrease in redness. My hair follicles are less burned or damaged as before. I have a question though. Some of the areas that have started to peel looks weird. If any of you have seen the ad on social media about the woman who is 70 years old and peels the skin off her face to look younger underneath. It really looks weird. Has anyone else had this experience? I can't quite explain it - sorry about that.

MarieBernice6234

I have thought sometimes that the doctors downplay SEs so they don't cause self-fulfilling prophecies (power of suggestion). But I certainly want to know what I can do to avoid problems.

Hi all. I've been MIA for at least a couple of weeks now. I thought maybe if I gave myself a break from BCO that my anxiety levels would go down and these rads would become easier. But they are not, and it has not helped to stay off BCO. I am thankful that so many of you seemed to breeze right through them but I am not.

I did 17/30 today. I get either a full-chest or a surgery-area bolus every day, and an xray every 5 rads. My RO looked at my chest the other day and said it's not damaged ("pink") enough and she put in an order to increase the rads and keep the bolus' going. Gee, thanks.

Every day I go in that place and I have to shut down mentally to do it, to even enter the building. Head down, eyes on the floor, wait for the elevator, go down, hang up coat, go put on robe and stand at my appointed place, get annoyed with techs leaving me exposed when not necessary, my feet dance on the table with anxiety and it's the only thing that keeps me from running screaming out of the room. As soon as I hear that table move after it's done, I have my arms down, hold up whatever bolus I have on to hand to the tech (don't trust them to remove it after one of them accidentally slid not only the bolus but my pillowcase and robe with it and didn't seem concerned that I was laying there exposed), grab my stuff and practically run out of the room. I don't (CAN'T) speak to anyone. I change my clothes and keep pounding the up button on the slowest elevator on the planet. Finally get to the first floor and I'm moving as fast as I can (as pathetic as it is, it's still as fast as I can) to get myself out of that building as soon as possible. Then either shouting or tears (or both) in the car on the way to work and I'm really not a civilized person again for hours.

My RO does not believe any of my side effects are from rads. Gee, what a shock. I've only 59+ years without any of these issues and now all of a sudden I have them but it's NOT related to rads? So now I just shut up and say I'm fine. It's better that way, I think, because otherwise I'll probably go off on my RO and that would not be a good thing.

Chemo was harder physically but this is much much harder for me mentally.

Fucking cancer.

JJ

JustJean: I'm so glad to see you posting again. You've really been on my mind this week. I think you have a really crappy rads center. I know you said that it's the only option, but it sounds like a soulless place. My skin problems have been frustrating, but the care I've been given has been exceptionally good. They're a compassionate, caring group of people. It's so sad to learn that you and others have received so little real "care." Screw 'em. I'll pm you my email address and send you some love and encouragement before every treatment! I can't do cookies, so don't get too excited..

Meanmom (sheesh, you are so NOT mean), thanks for the thoughts but I honestly think this is a good place if you have to have rads. Unless you are me, lol. I don't think the most caring place in the world would be any different for me. The techs continue to be pleasant to me even though I cannot speak to them, I tell them to not touch me unless they have to, and remind them at every turn about keeping me covered. They have gone out of their way to provide me a separate place to dress so I don't have to look at that insulting-to-me wall of bras. They are always asking if I need a warmed blanket. They keep that dressing place stocked with the "nice" gowns and not the old ratty ones. My RO is genuinely puzzled, I think, about my reaction when she has gone out of her way to make sure that all of that happened. I wish I could go in there and joke around with the techs and ask them about their Christmas and all that stuff but I can't even speak to say hello/goodbye. It's ME that's the problem in this particular situation, not them. I'm planning on trying to write a nice letter of apology to hand out to them all on my last day, because this has not been my best face that they've seen.

And I think the reason behind all this is that it's Every. Single. Day. EVERY weekday I am reminded of my mutilation (I don't look at it unless I have to). EVERY weekday I am reminded that I'm most likely Stage IV and that these rads are therefore a little like closing the barn door after the horse got out. EVERY day I am stressed to the max, and EVERY day I shut down. I don't feel at all that the time is going quickly, like some of us (lucky y'all!), I feel like this is never ever going to end. January 20th (last day) seems very far away even now at just over the half way point. And it seems like I've been going for a mini lifetime. I have lots of coping skills but this situation is beyond what I can do, so I just decided that if I have to shut down and plow through it, well, that's what I'll do. My coworkers know to leave me be until I've had enough time to de-stress and can address them in my usual friendly way. Those poor techs have no idea that this friendly person even exists. Too bad because I know they would like her.

And I think the cookies stand. Come on, hand 'em over.

JJ

Happy New Year everyone! Wishing you all better health in 2015.

On to the next stage of treatment. My planning appointment for rads is set for January 16. I'm so glad that this will all be over before Spring arrives. Hopefully there won't be too many snow storms to delay my treatment.

JustJean Please put up a note in your private dressing area saying, "I am not alone. The women of Winter Rads are with me. Inside that chest is my beautiful warm and caring heart." This is a time to take care of yourself in whatever way works.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

My radiation has been put on hold for 1 week. My right arm became very swollen after 7 rounds. My whole lower body is very swollen from taxotere. Gained 12 lbs and barely ate during chemo.  Went for CT of chest and dopler/ultrasound on Wednesday. All negative for blood clot or something worse. My RO thinks my lymph system has been compromised and I am now third spacing into my arm.  Everything I have read says it will resolve on it own within 3 months. My MO says the same thing. lasix did nothing.  I hate that I had to stop radiation. I want to be DONE with THIS!!!

So good luck to all who are now ahead of me. I will make it to the finish line. Just very SLOWLY!!!

I, too, am bloated and puffy as a result of all this cancer stuff. Every time I step on a scale, the nurses tell me weight gain is much better than weight loss during this process. I'm still not happy about it.

I've only been in my rads waiting area 3 days. I see many of the same faces. Yesterday, one of the faces was a 12 year old boy. He shared that he was getting his rads, then off to chemo. Well, then we all started taking to each other... even after the boy left the waiting area. I think I will be talking to these people every day now. It only takes one person to break the ice. We didn't talk about cancer, we talked Christmas, our kids... stuff like that. I did show people how to select and tie scarves... so I guess that is cancer related... but more on how to feel better about ourselves. I think it will help makes the treatments go by faster... and alleviate some of the stress and anxiety of rads.

Sjacobs 146, PoppyK and others who are (or will be) dealing with rads skin issues,

I've had the hardest time finding soft, seamless all cotton camisole/tanks. Winter selection has plenty of fabrics designed to hold in heat. That's the last thing we all need. HOWEVER, I recently found super-soft, long 100% cotton tanks on sale at The Gap. They were $4.97 each and I got white, navy and black. They have S-XL in-store. They run large, btw. I would think the XL would easily work for anyone who is XXL or very large-breasted.

I love them!

They may be available online, as well.

Hope this helps someone.

Hi PoppyK -

I know what you mean about the conversation while in the treatment waiting room. I had the most conversation with the group that was already mid-stream in their rad treatment. One by one they all finished up ahead of me and there was as much as conversation with some of the other ones.

MarieBernice6234

You ladies that are just starting will do fine.  I start my boosts on Monday. My RO gave me the option of taking the holidays off and heal for a couple of days or continue on.  I took the time off and have healed nicely.  Now instead of finishing up Monday, I will finish up next Friday.  I still itch in places, but the heat has gone and the red has started to fade. My next stop - Tamoxifin.  I have one more "clean up" surgery and then I might get back to normal.  What is normal now? 

Nomatterwhat, what is " clean up " surgery?