anxious situations

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dixie60
dixie60 Member Posts: 32
edited January 2015 in Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned

Hi, you wonderful women,

I wonder if anyone has this same issue?

I feel a total sense of panic every time I find out a friend has a recurrence or a second cancer. It has happened a number of times now. Each time, I know her situation is totally different from mine, and my heart goes out to her, for her. But I am in a complete anxiety attack for me. I am usually very mellow and low key, but this sends me reeling. I think I over-empathize. I am freaking out, and I hate this feeling.

What do you do when you get so worried and anxious?

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  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 3,761
    edited December 2014

    Dixie - that's a really tough question and I don't have a really good answer except to say that we all feel anxious since our DX and there really isn't a sure-fire way not to be scared when you hear about a recurrence whether you know the person or not. We can do things to help prevent one but there are still no guarantees.

    I try to keep the faith and leave my fate in His hands.

    Diane

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  • Morwenna
    Morwenna Member Posts: 1,063
    edited December 2014

    Totally get this, and I'm just the same!

    When I was diagnosed, friends told me about a lady who used to sing with us, and that she had "been through all this and (I) should talk to her".

    Well I didn't know her that well, and I didn't feel so inclined. This year I heard that she is sick again, and I mean really sick. She is a "Facebook friend", and I found myself studying her fb photos, as she has obviously lost a pile of weight that I would not have recognized her if the photos had not been tagged.

    Now I feel guilty that I have never made contact, but she really looks like she is not much longer for this world, and frankly the sight of her scares the @#$% out of me. And yes, I'm sad for her and her family, she just has a new little grandchild, but I'm terrified for me! And I have no idea what I should say to her now!

    So I'm left feeling like a bit of a stalker! :(

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  • dixie60
    dixie60 Member Posts: 32
    edited December 2014

    thank you for sharing your feelings with me. it’s nice to know I am not all alone in feeling crazed!

    oxo

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  • LW0919
    LW0919 Member Posts: 196
    edited December 2014

    Definitely not crazy, or if you are, count me in on the crazy team too! I'm obsessed, especially now that I'm 2 years out. I feel like I'm waiting for the hammer to fall again. I look for people who had the same stage/grade and node involvement and compare their recurrence timeframe to where I'm at now. I too keep it together at work and home but think when it comes to something completely out of my control, it quite frankly scares the hell out of me!

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  • Stenokim
    Stenokim Member Posts: 172
    edited December 2014

    Merry Xmas to all. I am a little freaked out. I have a swollen, tender lymph node under my arm, about half the size of a pea. Of course it's BC side and positive lymph node side from a year ago. I got the flu or BAD cold starting Xmas eve. Was in bed sick for two days. Swollen lymph showed up 12/26. Do you think it could be related to illness and not BC? Has anyone else experienced this? Thanks for any feedback. Kim

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  • Morwenna
    Morwenna Member Posts: 1,063
    edited December 2014

    Lymph glands certainly do swell as a result of bacterial and viral infections. I guess you go show it to your doctor, and then you either decide to watch and wait to see if it subsides, or you leap in with imaging and/or biopsy.

    Hope it turns out to be nothing to worry about!

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  • LW0919
    LW0919 Member Posts: 196
    edited December 2014

    Steno kim: It could be enlarged from fighting off infection or it could be something much worse. I always take the aggressive route in these situations. I would rather be safe than sorry and don't feel at all like you're blowing it out of proportion. It's your body and your life! That's what I tell myself each time I've had to go in to get something checked out and later find out it was nothing at all! I was so happy to find out I had arthritis instead of mets to the spine. Keeping my fingers crossed for you that is nothing at all!

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  • Stenokim
    Stenokim Member Posts: 172
    edited December 2014

    thanks for your responses, ladies. I have mammo tomorrow morning with BC surgeon, so I hope to find everything is ok and it is just from this illness. I still have it in my head and chest. When I bend over it feels like my head is going to pop and my teeth hurt, so I know I have some sort of infection going on. Will fill you in tomorrow. Thanks agai

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  • Stenokim
    Stenokim Member Posts: 172
    edited January 2015

    Hi, ladies. Sorry for the late response. I was out celebrating. Mammo was good and lymph nodes were just from illness, they're gone now. Doc said everything looked great and said she will see me in a year. I have an oncologist appointment in February where he will do one of the cancer antigen blood tests, so no need to freak again until then. Ha. Thanks for listening! Kim.

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