What do you do to feel "normal"?

Hi there, plugging-through - glad to hear that you are doing just that!! I finished chemo in August...had the same regimen you did. Frankly, I don't remember what I did to feel normal. It was hard. I remember dragging my butt out one day to run, coming home and totally melting down because something "normal" was so hard. Maybe I shouldn't have answered this post, since it doesn't seem that I have much good to say. But maybe my advice will help anyway....embrace the "not normal". Once I gave up trying to feel normal it was easier to just get through each day. My husband kept telling me I'd have a new normal. I didn't want a new normal, I wanted my old normal, I liked it. Anyway, with each day, week and month that chemo gets into my past, my old normal is coming back. Keep on plugging....you are doing great!

Big hugs,

Jen

Hi Plugging-throug, and welcome to Breastcancer.org! We're sorry for the circumstances that bring you here, but we're very glad you've joined our community.

Besides the helpful support and advice from members here, you may find interesting to read through the Chemotherapy section of the main BC.org site, where you'll learn more about how chemotherapy works, what to expect, side effects and ways to manage them, etc.

We hope this helps!

The Mods

who gets to say what "normal" is anyway!    I use the word typical -just feels less heavy or judgemental to me.  I know word play.  I am defining my typical day now, some days are better than others

I cycled through 6 dose dense rounds of both AC and Taxol and have to say that Taxol was much easier. I made sure I got out and walked days I didn't cycle. That was important as got me out of the house and with people. When I cycled, I got oxygen into my system and felt a lot more "normal". So I am a major believer in exercise.

It does take a while to recover fully...I was back to about 98% six months following radiation, with the other 2% taking another year or so. Now, I am stronger and fitter than ever. I still did all my normal cycling events that summer....just needed ibuprofen and a lot more energy potions. I also needed (and think I still need) more protein.

I have emerged from all this into the most rewarding and productive time of my life. About a year ago, I reshaped my life to fit what had transpired, and that opened other opportunities for me. I am learning to be a much better nonprofit support and grants person, and I am doing Toastmasters to polish up my ability to talk to people one-on-one and in groups. Extremely energizing and rewarding.

I am also dating a much younger guy who thinks I am terrific. So fun, not to mention a major ego boost. We met doing a cycling event.

As to "how did I exercise?", I took the position that I would be better off exercised and dragging as opposed to just dragging. You don't have energy reserves, so I made sure I ate something prior to heading out to do a minimum one mile walk. I always felt better by the time I returned. I also rested between reps of lifting weights, sometimes being able to only do 6-8 lifts at a time (as opposed to 30-40). But I always finished them. I didn't have any major loss in strength. (My oncologist would turn pale when I told him what I was doing, because he couldn't do this!)

So I would say that I lived a relatively normal life, but "dialed it down". That was important. And finally, I planned a global celebration for when I was finished. So something to look forward to.

Good luck. You will get there. And do join us on the exercise board. - Claire

Its more than 4 months since I finished rads but I have not really bounced back energy wise. I think part of it is that I was very stressed out and tired before dx which did not help. I decided that my stressful job was not worth it and fortunately my boss made an arrangement for me to work 3 days a week with the most stressful elements removed altogether. I am very grateful.

I strive to go to the gym and exercise seriously 3 times a week but one thing that helps me is photography. I find that on a nice day, just wandering around taking photos, especially of nature gives me a sense of peace. Yesterday I felt tired but went to a local zoo which I have not done for a long while and must have looked like an eccentric old lady wandering around with my camera and backpack, taking pictures of, and talking to the animals, but I don't care. Its therapy!

I hope to be able to get back to my photography course soon. I have found reading and studying impossible since treatment, like many others I have found, but just this week I was able to read most of a book (OK it was about cancer) but hopefully my ability to read more will come back in time and I can go from there.

Plugging,

Congrats on your last A/C.....aka the red devil......I hated it.. Taxol was much easier for me. I had that dose dense also, so I was done with that in 8 weeks. After the chemo, radiation is a walk in the park. That was my experience.

Getting back to our old carefree selves takes time. I wish the process was faster. I started rads one year ago. Still working on the mental/emotional part. Physically I have always been active, like you I love to hike. Posting helps, knowing that we are not alone.