Please tell me this gets easier

Breathe!!! Yes, you can get through this and no, please don't read anymore Dr. Google - the stuff out there is old and lots of it isn't true - until you have your path reports in hand everything is on hold. Try to put this "up on a shelf" and enjoy the holidays to the best of your ability - I can tell you from first hand experience that keeping busy is the best tranquilizer of all and at this time of year there is more than plenty to do - get lots of exercise - long walks are good, eat a healthy diet and if you find the anxiety getting to be too much talk to your PCP about an anti-anxiety drug to see you through - and stay here at BCO because we're here to listen and to hopefully help.

Shelley - yes, it really does get easier to deal with.  Once you get your pathology report back, you and your physicians will know better what you are dealing with and come up with a firm treatment plan.  I found that once I had a treatment plan in place, I felt more at ease.

You will always have some doubts and fears, but they do get more manageable.

I agree with Sandy, please stay away from Dr. Google.  He won't make you feel any better.

Yes. It gets better. I got my diagnosis the same day as you...4 years earlier. I tell people the month of tests, etc. prior to surgery was a complete blur; I hardly remember it I was so overwhelmed with anxiety. Eventually, you will accept that everyone lives with uncertainty, and you will feel stronger for it.

Until then, we are here to support you. There is a lot of wisdom on these boards and a lot of shoulders if you need to cry. It will get better. I promise.

Oh Shelly - as you can hear, all of here understand completely what you're going through. Like everyone else has said, the absolutely worst time of all for me was that first month or so right after I was diagnosed until I finally had my surgery. Once you have your surgery and your pathology report on the tumor, you'll get a game plan in place. With that, you regain some control, and it really does get better.

My suggestion would be to crank up your workouts during this waiting time. Exercise is a fabulous stress reliever; also the extra fitness you gain with a couple of weeks of workouts will be invaluable in helping you recover from surgery and treatment. If you're not an exerciser now, do some simple things to start. Even walking would help - set aside 30 minutes a day to walk - make it a priority. You may want to do some core-strengthening exercises as you won't have good use of your upper body for a while after surgery. Pilates, yoga, or even some crunches will help build some core strength - there are all kinds of videos on YouTube if you don't know where to start. Even small things can help build some core strength - for instance, practice getting up from a chair or the couch without using your arms to push off - get up using just your legs and core. You'll find that's an invaluable skill to have after surgery. If you want some support or just want to read about active survivors, check out the Fitness section's Let's Post Our Daily Exercise thread. You'll find postings from a supportive group of women who are active, exercising, and feeling great after cancer.

It will be 7 years on New Year's Eve since I was diagnosed and I'm here to tell you there really can be a life after cancer. And yes, there's more than a shot at living a long life after cancer - I have no intention of going anywhere any time soon!

Hang in there, do your best to take care of yourself and enjoy the season. Stay off the internet except for this website. And make time for yourself - treat yourself to a mani-pedi, buy a new pair of shoes, splurge on some outrageously expensive chocolate, or maybe buy some cheerful neon colored tech fabric workout clothes to jumpstart that exercise program! Check back here as much as you need - we're all here to support you.

I was diagnosed with her2 positive on my 60th birthday! almost 3 yrs now. and still cancer free. had lumpectomy and all 13 nodes in rt arm pit removed. lost 17 lbs tween 2nd and 3rd chemo. not so sick with rest . most issues are after.. hair loss was not so bad as the eyelashes and eyebrows.. dont know why but it was for me. steroids put 50lbs on me ugh.. still trying to lose. no one in family has had breast cancer.. lucky me. I was very angry.. but found friends to support me when family could not. I battle anemia now and food taste.. but other wise doing good! STAY OFF INTERNET.. best advice dr gave me.. news is either old or worse case scenerio.. here always to chat and support

Shelley: It gets better! Our Natsfan has really great advice -- all of these sisters do. Rant on, Shelley, we can hear you!

Excellent advice, repeated:

1. Step away from Dr. Google! Really. You may have to make this a permanent rule, if possible..

2. Workout advice. Natsfan is right on. Pilates a perfect idea. I love yoga too. I started running after dx. I was diagnosed at 38, with 2 two-year-olds. Running was great for my 'fight-or-flight' instinct.

3. Get a cute sweatpants outfit for doctor's appts. This is the time to splash out on a juicy couture one, if you've always wanted it, but I didn't need that and just did... they were like basketball player's pants, so I could step into them easily, and then I had a comfy fleece jacket, and I saved them for appts. No deciding what to wear. Easy on and off. Easy to wash. And then, when you're completely done with appts, you can burn them and never have to see them again.

4. Better living through chemicals. This is the one thing I wish I had done differently. Am super-organic, runner, vegetarian, etc. etc. But oh, how I wish I had taken some Ativan. There were whole years in which I never took anything. I would go in to testing and appts terrified. Take some Ativan, or some Xanax, or whatever. In fact, see an Onc Psychiatrist and do the whole thing properly. No one should have to walk around in terror like that.

5. Nutrition. Nats fan is spot-on again. Can you juice? Or go to the juice bar? Can you get CRAZY SEXY CANCER by Kris Carr? She has great veg juice recipes. Can you add a protein smoothie to your daily food intake? You've got to keep your vitamins and protein up. Even with a lumpectomy, you'll need lots of protein to help you to heal.

6. We love you already! You can do it!

XXX

Shelley, we've all been where you are now and yes, it is so very scary at first.... but trust us, it will get easier as your treatment plan is put into place.. and you are going to meet some amazingly incredible ladies during your journey on this site.. we are all here for you. It does and it will get better. Listen to the ladies and do not Google. Bring somebody with you to your appointments because it can be very hard to absorb all the information that will be thrown at you.. everything will happen very fast. Keep us posted on how you are doing and lean on us to help you through the bad times!

Shelley right now you're in the worse of stages just being diagnosed......

Yes it will get better once you start your treatment and you know where you stand

I'm almost a 10 year Survivor......There is hope and treatment options are growing....

I wish you well and sending calming hugs

Sheila

Shelley....once you have an active treatment plan in place it will get easier. Since you have excellent prognostics, you have many choices ahead! While you are waiting, take some time and register at the NCCN'S website and read the professional version (red logo) of the 2014 breast cancer treatment guidelines. Take special note of page 100 and beyond where it discusses endocrine therapy.

Knowledge is power. Your situation now is just one bump in the road on the journey through life. Hang in there! Better days are ahead!

Shelley big big hugs to you. I was exactly the same way when I was diagnosed 6 months ago. The beginning is just awful. It's like somebody pulled the rug out from under you. Before BC I too was thinking I would live to 90 like my mother. Who knows I still might. In the beginning I too would wake up at 5 in the morning and that dreadful cancer diagnosis just hit me smack in the face. It still does but not like before and lots of times during the day I forget about it. It is true once you have the full picture you will feel so much better. I had to do chemo and was freaked about it but it hasn't been as horrible as I thought. Hang in there and feel free to PM me. We all understand your feelings.

You will get through this. Heck if wimpy little old me can anybody can.

Hugs

Nancy

ah Shelly, our minds go into super overdrive...flight or fight...

I still, 18 months later would like a day off, mentally & emotionally. My dx is scary. Then I feel guilty, cause so many ladies have it worst, at a much younger age.

What I have learned, is if I keep busy with certain tasks, it takes the edge off my worry. Working in my flower garden, painting, golfing, helps. Of course it's winter now, I live in a cold climate, so I am painting the doors in my home.

I thought when I was done with active treatment my obsessive worry ( anxiety ) would get easier. It escalated, but slowly, I am becoming more relaxed. I do not feel confident that it won't come back, but it is what it is...

We have all been where you are: at the horrible beginning. Filled with fear and anxiety and sadness. But it really does get better, or at the very least easier to accept and handle. No shame in taking whatever meds you need to get through the stress. No awards for going "Meds free".
My DX was similar to yours. . It went from every minute, to hourly, to daily....And now a year later I seldom think of the cancer anymore. Fill your time with whatever brings you joy. I watched a lot of Netflix originally, and did crafts. Whatever keeps you busy and distracts you. I had my surgery a week before Xmas, but don't associate it with the season at all.
My neighbor had breast cancer and even had it in her lymph nodes....over twenty years ago!!!! She is still alive and kicking and enjoying life. I kept thinking of her in my down times. I hope this helps you.

Christmas was very hard for me. My family lives thousands of miles away. I am alone in the city living off money I have saved. I am in occupational therapy for my left arm that has lymphodema from my SNL. I had a left breast lumpectomy. I am due to start rads on Monday. I am scared to death. I was brave my first measuring on the rad table. I wept on the second measuring visit and could hardly let go of the rad therapist. I am terrified of rads as 10% of my heart will get radiation and 20% of my lungs. I am thinking and have discussed having my left breast removed. I don't know I can do rads for 6 weeks without a total breakdown. My parents are coming soon. Ativan has helped but I think I need a stronger tranquilizer. I have not slept in my bed since surgery 10/31. My oncotype is 13 and I am lucky I will not need chemo. I have read many medical journal reports and worry about the conequences of rads as I was a smoker for 30 years. I worry insurance will not cover a uni mastectomy and I may be forced to do rads. Most of my friends were my coworkers and clients at my new job. I left my new job when I got sick long before I knew it was BC.All my other friends live hundreds miles away. I moved to the city and started a new life and then found I had BC. I wake at 430 and 5 am terrified still. I have to wash my pjs at some point. I wear the same ones over and over. I have not showered in two days. I am exhausted emotionally and mentally.