Newly diagnosed and trying to keep it together...

SoccerMom20-

First, we want to welcome you to Breastcancer.org. We're so sorry for the circumstances that bring you here, but we're very glad you've found and joined our community.

The beginning is really, really hard. There's so much fear and uncertainty, we know. It will get better. Many of our members say that it starts to get easier (as easy as cancer can be, anyway) once you and your medical team have a treatment plan in place. You'll start to feel like you're regaining control. The whirlwind may not stop, there's a lot of new changes coming at you in the coming weeks and months, but it will slow down, and it will get easier to manage while still living your life.

You'll find support and encouragement here, so please spend some time getting to know some of our other members. Also, you may want to check out the information we have compiled HERE for the newly diagnosed.

Please keep us posted on how everything is going, we're thinking of you!

The Mods

Hugs to you both!  The whirlwind never really stops once you're on the ride, but it gets easier to stay on.  Once diagnosed, you are just so overwhelmed and scared that sometimes breathing is hard, but you will find your own ways to manage - I promise!  After surgery, once pathology is back and you have a treatment plan, it really does become so much more manageable because then you know a firm course of action and feel some semblance of control back in your life.

These boards and the ladies here have provided me with valuable support and I hope that you find that too.

Taking one day at a time is a good idea, but sometimes it can be minute to minute and then there will be the times that you totally forget!

Soccer mom--

To answer your question, yes, it does get better. I am 6.5 years out and rarely even think about bc-- but I remember how helpful it was when I was new here and people like me came back and reassured me, so here I am. Someone told me early on that it would take about a year of my life-- and in many ways, that was correct. There are lots of highs and lows- and in the beginning, as the information starts to take shape, it is so stressful. My suggestions are: get a prescription for ativan---keep it with you-- try to go to work if you can, be strategic about who you tell -this is your private info and you don't have to share if you don't want to. Know that the info does shift from biopsy to surgery, etc. Not alot, but sometimes people (like me) are surprised when the biopsy said 1 cm and the surgical pathology said almost 2cm. Surgical pathology is the act from which all things flow.... which is why we are always all so anxious for the surgery.

You may have to make a surgical decision--- there is lots of info here about mx vs. lumpectomy--others have said it better than I can....

It is worth getting second opinions.... maybe about the surgery, maybe about the treatment. This is all so scary that we all want it over asap so it is tempting to make really quick decisions. Try to step back if you can--there is plenty of data about # of women with your dx, etc.

This industry has come along way--- there are tests that help you decided about chemo, there are shorter radiation periods, genetic testing--- you will get the info you need over the next few weeks, but it will feel like decades as you wait.... I have no good suggestion (except the ativan) because I am soooo impatient, this part drove me crazy. But honestly, once you have results and a plan, you will be in the next phase which is much more manageable. There are incredibly smart people on this board-- so come back often--there is a lobular group as well... join us!!!

Good luck