Winter rads 2014-2015

Today apparently is the day that I finally break down and cry. I haven't cried once through this whole hellish journey but last night and today were just so hard. I am bright red from my armpit to my right breast and from my collar bone to halfway down my ribs. The underside of my breast is so burned and has to small areas that are open. I also have the beginnings of a rash on my back ,which the Dr says is dry skin and has nothing to do with radiation. I call bull on that. I've started the boosts to give the wounds time to heal(one week) next Tuesday I'll start the whole breast rads ( 5) back up. I probably wouldn't have broken down at all if it wasn't conning up on the anniversary of my best friend and soul sisters suicide . She died 8 yrs ago and I spent the last 7and a half years being angry with her. It's just been the last year that I've been able to forgive her and truly mourn her. But I got to say it's this kind of life crap we were supposed to help each other through. I could have shown my fear, my anger, and I could have cried with her. I wouldn't have had to be the strong stoic woman my fiance and kids see. I was supposed to have my last rads on Dec. 22nd.her anniversary and my fiancee birthday. The wonderful techs gave up they're Sunday.and now will be done 12/21, I miss her and it just got to me. Cancer is a damn'lonely and sometimes isolating disease and I am so tired. Well I'm now going to slather on the antibiotic cream( Silverdine) and see if the lorazepam will actually let me stay asleep. Today just sucked. This is my one and only pity party thanks for conning.

The bra wall is stupid, thoughtless, ill-conceived, inconsiderate and pointless and...and...and...  I am truly surprised that a clinic that is so personally involved with women who are in the throws of dealing with breast cancer would think that it had any redeeming qualities.  The humor? escapes me.

Oh my - how I love reading all your posts. Justjean, I am so sorry to read about your experiences. And that bra wall is absolutely distasteful. Not professional at all! Bippy, you made me laugh so hard this morning, I love to see how so many of us are able to augh despite all of this.

Hope, the pain and itching sucks! I am just starting with it and I'm fearful for what is to come.

Only 11 down and 17 more to go for me. I was hoping to be one of those women who breezes through with few side effects. Nope. Yesterday I got hit with fatigue like a bad cold coming on. Got worse through the day, even with caffiene. Starting to get red and a slight purple color that makes my poor pigmy boob look a little sick. I work in a school, so I'm hoping I can hold out until Christmas break. Not so sure now

I did it - finished the last rads and after all the talk here about cookies, I took a tin of homemade shortbread and a tin of nuts and bolts in to the techs to celebrate. My favourite techs were there today, which made it especially nice. They did however shift me right left and centre - I told them the next generation of radiation machines should be able to shift like a goose neck lamp, to avoid the techs having to shift the patient.

I'm very grateful my cancer was caught so early - in fact, last year the breast screening clinic told me I could drop back to once every two years, but I asked to stay at once a year given my family history. My great-grandmother, my grandmother, my great aunt, my aunt, several second cousins and now me. If I'd not asked to stay on the once a year schedule, who knows what could have happened by next summer.

I know I was lucky to have fewer treatments than so many here. I just think we should forgive ourselves our meltdowns and allow ourselves the very occasional pity party. I found myself a bit snarly last week, this week is better, I'm starting to get out the Christmas decorations.

Blessings to all.

Hi CoyoteNV - I like all your Christmas decorations - especially the one of the cat on the living room. I have to get into the spirit a bit.

MarieBernice6234

Hi BeachBaby -

Well today was my day for a "melt down" also. I have Boost day #2 tomorrow and end on the 19th. I spoke with my oncology nurse today about my weekly visit with my radiation oncologist yesterday. Long story somewhat short is that despite the fact I told her that something was wrong and she was slow in giving me the referral for the dermatology. She (RO) stated that it certainly wasn't radiation dermatitis which pissed me off. My anger carried over to today.The RO came by the room where my radiation nurse was discussing this (cue the waterworks) and she responded and didn't like when I told her that I felt like she wasn't listening or hearing me. She said with disbelief in her voice " What do you mean I don't listen - I always listen to my patients". She was forced by me to state that she originally didn't agree with me was BECAUSE she hadn't seen radiation dermatitis in that way before. She stated that if I wanted to say it was radiation reaction then she would call it that. It represented to me some arrogance, but back- pedaling all the same. I don't think she will challenge me like that again. Doctors may try to cross me once but never again. The doctors don't have anything if they don't have my cooperation and my body. You can vote with your feet!

MarieBernice6234

MagicalBean, I celebrated by taking the rest of the day off work and taking a nap! But I do have a very nice dinner in the oven, just waiting for everything to cook. The chest hasn't been too itchy at all today - yay. Hope the weather co-operates. We're supposed to get snow tonight too.

JustJean, you can do it too. Just keep on doing what you're doing, and avoid that crazy wall. Thanks for showing the rest of us.

Hooray to you Katie!  What a great Christmas present - to be done and have this behind you.

The walls of bras ticks me off.

Ugh..well here I am.. yesterday I spent most of the day on the phone because nobody could check the pre insurance /authoriation thing.... so i didnt find out till this morning if i was really going to start my rads (actual rads.. the sim was done on Monday). 2 hours before I was due to go.. i finally got an answer...so off I went. Its surreal.. really is.

Got set up.. arm hurt like hell and my seroma was protesting. I have one on my breast too (which stopped leaking about 2 weeks ago). Got my rads..and (i read the posts!!!) i put my lotion on , on day 1. My breast though this evening..where the seroma was..is already hard..and red.. I figured it would fire up like that.. it wasnt happy about being prodded I'm hoping this isnt going to be the massive problem area already.. I've only been ONCE... I am looking at my drawings on myself.. as well as the tats wondering how in the heck they know which marks are what!!! Im overwhelmed.. got in the changing room and had a few tears roll already.. and im not one who crys much at all. ..stress really coming out then...

Well that was a lot of venting from me!

Congrats to you Katie!!!!

I guess I am a winter rad? Had first treatment yesterday. By the time I got home, affected breast was angry red and swollen. Um, that is after ONE treatment. Second treatment today. Is this normal after ONE treatment???

15 treatments to go.

katiec12 put water, lots of salt, and vinegar in your pot and simmer it at a low boil. Do this for 15 to 20 mins and then try to clean it. Hope it works. I have peeling all under my breast and its quite painful. I have to reapply the antibiotic cream they prescribed me constantly because it rubs off. My nipple is also incredibly painful and not wearing a bra doesn't help. Lol it constantly hard like I took viagra for my nipple! 8 , more to go woo hoo!

davida58...I had my first treatment yesterday and had the same thing..I was like what? already?.. but after the second lumpectomy I was left with a sermona under there (that stopped leaking out a few weeks prior) and it seems like that puffed up again.. nice and annoyed looking but by the morning it wasn't as bad. I started with aloe straight away.

2nd treatment done this morning.. early days I know. But todays was nice and short and I was in a better mind frame too. It'll become routine before I know it (ugh). Just keeping an eye on that swelling from yesterday.

I'm 24 years old and just started radiation this week, 4th treatment completed today. As of now, it's not so bad. I have been lotioning everyday. I completed my last dosage of chemotherapy on September 30th, had herceptin, perjeta, taxotere, and carboplatin. I felt tired the last month and a half and now I am regaining my energy, I was worried it was from radiation but I think it was from chemo effects.

Mmtagirl, Congratulations! Happy dance time!

I found out my start date: Dec 29. End date Jan 30. My RO is giving me a little more time to recover from chemo... plus I got sick and am on antibiotics. I also found out they won't be doing any boosts (as was previously planned) because my clips ended up being scattered when the plastic surgeon rearranged my remaining breast tissue to make my new breast.

Don't usually cry much, but I cried a bit when I got the start date. I just wanted to be a "normal" person for a few weeks.

Congratulations Mmtagirl!!!!!