Diagnosed with BC yesterday, scared!!

Mary I am so sorry that you have to be here and about your husband. But you've come to the right place, there is so much support on these boards. I think that you are on track for the best course of action. Meeting with the oncologist is the best thing you can do, maybe it is even a good thing that you have no details and no test results with you, otherwise you would be googling everything and that is DEF not a good idea. Keep in mind that as scary as it might be there are a LOT of treatments that can make you better and this is just a phase in your life. The disease sucks, but it is not as scary and terrible as we think, and chances are you're gonna be just fine!!!

Sending you good thoughts on these difficult days!

We are sorry to hear about all you are going through in terms of your diagnosis and loss of your husband. As the others have said, you have found a very supportive group who can help guide you along the way, understand your pathoylog report and steps you need to a take.

Sending you gentle hugs,

The Mods

Mary...so very sorry about the recent loss of your husband and now this diagnosis... I was also diagnosed around this time last year and reliving those days...the hardest part for me was telling my kids...twin girls 20 and 26 year old son...right at the holidays...but for you and having just lost your husband, my heart aches for you....

Happy you will see a surgeon and get the ball rolling...truly, once you begin to have a plan in place, you feel more in control. I did learn to get paper copies of all pathologies and test results and always bring someone with you to appointments to take notes for you. If you have friends in the area who could recommend an oncologist, that helps, or if you know and like your surgeon, she/he may have a recommendation ...it's a whirlwind and it all happens so fast...I learned that it's ok to wait and get second opinions and research options given to me. My bc was stage 2 invasive lobular carcinoma with lymph node involvement...although my surgeon suggested bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction ( a week after I was diagnosed) I just wasn't ready to make that decision...lots of percentages to examine and options...I kept my lumpectomy because it was right for me at the time...I know I can always revisit...when I am past this year and the emotional well being and physical strength returns....I also got 2 other opinions that helped me with my decision...and the tumor board met with my case. I never knew they even had that until I read about it on this forum.

I did not go to the internet about having cancer...one surgeon suggested national cancer institute website, American cancer society and I sometimes looked at Johns Hopkins website...I only researched my type of cancer and did not do too much of that...I only came on this board in the middle of chemo, 4 months after diagnosis...didn't want too much info. I guess but bco is a great support!

Good luck and strength to you and your family during this hard time. Rosie

Ps...I lived by this quote:

Also, what I have learned so far. Find the courage for the day you are facing only. Courage today. If you start snowballing into the future, you spiral out of control.

Mary--First, my condolences on the death of your husband. Now, to you, who have entered a whole new realm of experiences and lingo to deal with. I understand your emotions, especially at this season, since I got my biopsy results 4 days before Christmas. My best advice to you is to use the information from the professionals on this site, beginning with "Breast Cancer 101" and moving on to specific areas where you need/want more details. The information at BCO is accurate and not alarmist (and is unlike most info on almost any website with a ".com" address, as opposed to ".gov" and ".org").

Now to your question, "I have a appointment scheduled for Tuesday afternoon with a surgeon...do they come as a package deal or something with the onocologist and all?" They don't have to be a "package deal," and you can seek a second opinion if you wish (be sure to first find out your insurance protocols for coverage on this, though, and then follow them--very important these days). Before I met the surgeon to whom the breast health center at our hospital referred me, I checked out his stats--especially how many breast surgeries he does yearly--and I also called a physician friend (associated with the same hospital) and asked him, "To whose hands would you entrust your wife if she were in my situation?" The recommended surgeon was on his short list of 2, so I was relieved. But he also reminded me that I was free to change to another surgeon if "the fit" with the first one didn't feel right. Long story short, I felt really good about him, especially since he anticipated and answered all but one of the questions on my lengthy list before I ever asked them and since he is a caring, gentle-person.

Radiation was a different story, though. The natural place for it would have been the cancer center at this hospital, but I nevertheless researched rad oncologists in the other 2 hospitals in the same health system as ours. When I met with the local hospital rad onc, I simply had NO confidence in his experience (or lack thereof) and couldn't trust him using as powerful a tool as a linear accelerator on my body,. So I walked away, and went to a really competent and highly regarded rad onc in a partner hospital of my local one. She inspired confidence, and being treated by her and her team was worth the added driving time (30 minutes one way instead of 15). Being able to stay in the same health system, though, made the arrangement really simple, since both she and the surgeon have access to all my medical info in the system--no paperwork hassles or endless forms to sign for me. (I liked the med oncologist at our local hospital cancer center, but only saw her once, since I declined hormonal treatment.)

Before Tuesday, write down all your questions and ask any of them that he/she hasn't already anticipated. Try to take someone with you to take notes (or record the visit, with the surgeon's permission of course). Good luck to you on Tuesday--you'll do fine. TG