November 2014 Starting Chemo Crew

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  • enlm20Erica
    enlm20Erica Member Posts: 216
    edited December 2014

    Chris what gave me hope today and lifted my spirits was a commercial that I seen on tv for st. jude's children's hospital here in memphis. It's a hospital for kids with childhood cancers (which you may already know) but the kids were strong and smiling beautifully with their little bald heads and it made me realize that if an innocent precious child can do this, I definitely can. It's still not easy but it put things into perspective for me today.



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  • karen1971
    karen1971 Member Posts: 37
    edited December 2014

    got a dang sinus/cold infection. i hope i can get rid before dec.16th.


     

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  • cc3373
    cc3373 Member Posts: 100
    edited December 2014

    Erica, it definitely does put it in perspective :)

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  • enlm20Erica
    enlm20Erica Member Posts: 216
    edited December 2014

    Well I did it...I shaved my hair off. I had a handful come out today and it was really itchy so my husband said lets do it and I said okay. I feel relieved. Here's some pics of it all. From the big hair ball in my hand to the end results. imageimageimageimageimageI will be doing wigs, I have 2 already. To everybody who hasn't cut their hair yet, I was very nervous and devastated at the thought but now that I've done it I really do feel relieved to have one more thing over and done with. You will be fine ((HUGS))

    Chris, just like chemo.... It wasn't as bad as I thought 💇 (((Hugs)))

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  • Nik1966
    Nik1966 Member Posts: 431
    edited December 2014

    Erica you look beautiful!

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  • jovigal
    jovigal Member Posts: 41
    edited December 2014

    Erica! You look FANTASTIC! Hope I can rock the shaved head like that!

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  • cc3373
    cc3373 Member Posts: 100
    edited December 2014

    Erica I'd shave in a minute if I could look that gorgeous, you look like a model - I know you've got two wigs, trust me you have 3 options cause you honestly could just rock this look!!! Yay, YOU!!!

    Mine was so itchy today I had to grab the brush and brush a bit - i had to keep stopping to clean the brush before each brushstroke ... But it solved the itch. Happened again tonight - I cannot believe how fast it's coming out, don't think it will just thin down, I'm this close to shaving but no husband or means to yet. Hugs !!! I'll trust you on that :)

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  • enlm20Erica
    enlm20Erica Member Posts: 216
    edited December 2014

    Kiwi, jovigal , and Chris thanks so much. After I got it all shaved off I was some what pleased with the outcome but I had to try it with make - up on to bring it all together, and that made me feel better about it. Chris I'm not sure I'm bold enough to rock the shaved look but thanks alot, and don't worry when the time comes to shave your head God will put a ram in the bush for you so don't even worry about who or how its gonna be done, when the time comes it's all gonna fall in place. I was gonna let a hair stylist cut mine but my husband wanted to "play" barber so i let him knock himself out.

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  • MarcelaBR
    MarcelaBR Member Posts: 34
    edited December 2014

    Erica... if I looked as good as you bald I would NOT worry with any wigs... you have a very round head! haha I know it is a very weird thing to say but it is a compliment! Mine is shaped like and egg, so I'm verry funny looking when bald.. don't have any pics or I would show you! I'm very proud of you for shaving it, you'll see how much better you'll feel without your hair falling everywhere! About the expandors.. since I had radiation, my chest muscle is not what it was anymore, so it is very tight (don't know how else to put it) after each fill. Never had any pain though. Because of this I got to "only" 480ml, the maximum of mine, but I also wanted to go a little bigger... I'm very tall (1,80m) so I think it would be a good look and more similar to what I was before. When I do my next surgery I will probably get a little bigger...(can't wait!!!)

    Chris, I am SO happy that my pictures helped you, that was my goal when I posted them. I know I was googling pictures like crazy before everything happened. I saw that you said you haven't gone wig shopping yet, and that you don't know how or where you'll shave it, right? Well, this is just an idea, but here in Brazil the wig shops will shave it for you, they offer the service, and then you leave the store with your wig already on, they help you put it for the first time... Well that's how I did it and honestly it was the only way I felt comfortable, because I had no one to do it for me either and I didn't want to go to my usual hair salon, it would have been too depressing for me. You just have to do what feels right for you and makes you suffer less... keep strong, I'm thinking about you!

    Leslie, I never had any bleeding, but I know chemo can sometimes make it harder for the blood to clot so maybe that's why. I got a tattoo 3 weeks ago and had minimal bleeding so I guess I'm not having this problem this time around, but the other time I had nose bleeds that wouldn't stop for a looooong time because of chemo... but I would ask my doc or even the chemo nurses...

    SLCSandy - thank you so much! I hated it too in the beginning but now I know that it is just part of life... anyway, it'll be over soon, right?

    Dee4C, Metta - THANK YOU!!!! :)

    karen1971 - so sorry you got sick! Feel better! :)

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  • Dee4C
    Dee4C Member Posts: 27
    edited December 2014

    Erica, you look perfect! You could totally rock whatever style you want!!! I'm so relieved for you that you got this done and now can breathe a little sigh of relief. I'm one week behind you so no hair loss for me yet, but I'm terrified like many of you. But hearing how everyone else is facing it and seeing pics makes me feel stronger and a little more prepared. It's unreal how much we have all already faced with this beast. All of the unknowns, the worry, the anticipation, the fear. We are all stronger and more capable than we realize and will get through it together I'm glad to have you all to walk this journey with!

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  • cc3373
    cc3373 Member Posts: 100
    edited December 2014

    Erica, I totally understand, but know that you could totally pull it off if you want to :) God's gonna have to have a ram nearby to push me into gear ;) lol but yes, you're right He will provide the means and the moment. I was hoping for hair though ;) I think you did a smart thing to let your husband have a hand in it, it lets those around us feel like they're helping us through it. Ugh this Cancer is a nasty beast!!! Love and hugs to yo

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  • SLCSandy
    SLCSandy Member Posts: 5
    edited December 2014

    Erica,

    I agree with everyone else, you are gorgeous!! You absolutely could go without the wig!!

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  • cc3373
    cc3373 Member Posts: 100
    edited December 2014

    Marcella, those pics so helped, I am rethinking it all and considering it as more of a fun possibility rather than a drudgery ;) love the idea that maybe I could shave and buy the wig all at once. I am so unused to any hair pampering anyways, I've dyed it blonde and trimmed it myself since high school (am 53)... So it's awkward for me to go, and I don't sit still well. When my daughter put in pink color a few weeks back I was so grateful for it because I had no experience with using that type of color, but I was champing at the bit to get out of the chair... I got to see if she can go with me to wig shop, if not I'll go and take my Mom... I think my daughter will be a huge help on deciding but she's so busy in her own life I don't want to steal her time :)

    Now, how about you, how are you feeling?

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  • Janiner
    Janiner Member Posts: 58
    edited December 2014

    I am so frustrated. I went in for my second round of AC. Had a port put in on Tuesday. So still tender around the port area. It took three nurses and six stabs of the needle into my chest to try to find the spot in the port. I have had two children with no drugs. That makes me a pretty tough person. However the pain I endured today and having to leave oncology without any chemo treatment was unbearable.they sent me home and told me to ice the area every 20 minutes at home tonight. And oh so kindly reminded me to be sure to take my ativan before I come in tomorrow. Like that is going to make a difference. Not. I am so frustrated, sore, and fatigued right now. Seriously 6 pokes into my chest and three different nurses. I go back in tomorrow at 945. I really don't think 15 hours of icing is going to make a difference. Any advice out there for me for tomorrow? We cannot put it through my veins in my arm because I had such a severe reaction on the first round of AC. Ugh. I'm seriously not somebody to cry whine or have a pity party, guess today is my day. Thanks for listening & any advice would help. By the way they did give me the cream to put on for tomorrow as well. Thanks all. 

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  • cc3373
    cc3373 Member Posts: 100
    edited December 2014

    Hi Janiner,

    I am so sorry to hear this happened to you, I don't think you are incapable of managing pain (childbirth is a lot of prolonged pain which wears you down). That's a horrible experience! But look at it this way tomorrow is a new day and am praying that this time it all goes well. Ugh!!! I'd definitely keep ice on so swelling stays down, maybe it was swollen still from the from the port placement and that's why they had issues??? Mine port got placed same day as 1st chemo and the doc put the needle in at surgery, so I have yet to find out how it works after the fact (find out on the 8th). I am so sorry, sending very gentle and commiserating hugs, and hoping you feel relief from the pain tonight! For me I learned an ice lesson, ice was all I wanted after my surgery, it really soothed me better than pain MEDS and I am so not an ice it when it hurts person...

    Chris

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  • Janiner
    Janiner Member Posts: 58
    edited December 2014

    thanks Chris. The ice does help but yet it makes it ache a little bit too. thank you for the kind words. I definitely think I was still swollen from the surgery. And that is why they had such a problem. But man oh man oh man. I just felt like I was a guinea pig. And honestly I could tell the nurses were just as frustrated because they haven't run across something like this probably in a very long time. In fact one nurse just didn't want to give up she was determined to do it, but I finally told her to stop. I just could not take anymore pain. Scared to death for tomorrow. They get only one chance. if I have to make them take me back to the operating table and put the monitor over my chest to look on the screen of where my port is and then have them insert the needle that is what I will do.

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  • bonnied
    bonnied Member Posts: 74
    edited December 2014

    Erica, you are just beautiful!! Wow! You don't need a wig at all!! I hope you are doing well with chemo and SEs aren't too bad for you. Rock it girl!! >: )Bonnie

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  • enlm20Erica
    enlm20Erica Member Posts: 216
    edited December 2014

    Thanks Marcela, and I totally get what you mean by round head lol, it's funny because I was afraid of what shape my head would have, I thought it would look big and strange. I went in for actually my 8th fill today, I don't know why I thought it was my 6th "chemo brain" and I am actually at 500ccs now and not the 400 that I thought it was. 50ccsc looks good but I'm gonna go to 600ccs and stop there.

    Dee, thanks alot and you're right I did breathe a little sigh of relief once it was all over. I understand your fears completely but I'm confident that you will be relieved as well. We're knocking this beast out one blow at a time, a TKO is coming soon for us all!

    Sandy, thanks so much!!!😊

    Bonnie thanks!!! And I'm doing very good now I actually feel back to normal but I go for round 2 Monday so I'm gearing up for that. ... How about you? ? I really hope everything is going well for you too!


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  • Charlottesmommy
    Charlottesmommy Member Posts: 36
    edited December 2014

    Hello everyone, Day 10 after my first infusion of A/C, I wake up with shingles! So much for avoing everyone else's germs out there, those nasty little viral hitchikers decided to go on a roadtrip!

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  • cc3373
    cc3373 Member Posts: 100
    edited December 2014

    Hi Janiner

    Not to mention how cold ice is, brrr, hoping it brings you relief but it's definitely probably swollen from the port placement and today's "workout", ugh, sometimes persistence is not a good thing, good for you for being your own advocate, and if it doesn't work 1st time tomorrow then definitely have them check the ports ok. Someone on the Facebook group mentioned their port malfunctioned too, they couldn't draw blood but apparently could dispense through it, so stuff can happen... I remember reading a story on one board of a blood draw which the tech kept going at over and over and the husband spoke up and told the tech to get a nurse, the tech never tied off with a tourniquet so that's why it wasn't working! It pays to speak up. Hugs!!! - sorry for the late reply, my head was itching so bad, I kept scratching when I know itching means brush me, brush out the clumps... Sure enough not only clumps but knotted ones from scratching, ugh, getting very close to wanting to shave it, there's so little to put into my ponytail now... That's my project for tonight ;)

    Love and hugs to you my friend

    Chris

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  • SLCSandy
    SLCSandy Member Posts: 5
    edited December 2014

    Bonnie could you please add me to the FB group? Thanks!!

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  • knittingPT
    knittingPT Member Posts: 156
    edited December 2014

    janiner I highly recommend EMLA cream that you out on prior to the stick. I don't feel it at all. I hope your swelling goes downand that everything is successful tomorrow. Hang in there

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  • Redhead01
    Redhead01 Member Posts: 47
    edited December 2014

    Prayers for dear Janiner on their way! Have that pity-party....we all desersve one now and then and a good cry is thearaptuic!  Big battles like that one however make the smaller ones more bearable.  I had my 1st chemo 3 days afer port surgery....no numbing cream, but they did ice before the procedure.  I'm still brusied around the port, a month later...and taking off the bra seems to pull on it, so the girls are strapped in till bed time (used to be the first thing I did when got home from work...drop the bra)!  Had my 2nd T/C on 12/4...used the numbing cream but actually think the icing worked better.  Perhaps doing both may help ease your way, Janiner.  

    Soon we all will be rocking the bald look, loving the shorter shower times, freedom of changing up our looks with hats and wigs.  Get some fab BIG earrings and bold lipsticks.  We've been given CHOICES via that dreaded word....change.  Most changes in life are unwanted and uncomfortable....but usually it turns out to be good for you.  We've each made the choice to FIGHT this cancer....let's embrace the changes it brings....especially life perspectives renewed.  Hugs and love to each of you.

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  • MarcelaBR
    MarcelaBR Member Posts: 34
    edited December 2014

    Janiner – I am SO sorry that you had to go through all of that. I'm thinking about you and cheering that all goes well today! I don´t have a port so I have no tips to give about that, but actually, I had a problem with the valve that fills my breast expanders and the doctor used a portable ultrasound machine to help locate the valve. Maybe they could do that in your case. I'm obviously not a doctor, just an idea… Let us know how it turns out!

    Chris – I am doing fine, great actually! This week is "week 3", so (besides my lack of hair hahaha) I'm feeling 100% normal… I go on Monday for my 3rd chemo… halfway done! You and Erica are also going on Monday right? Seems like we are in sync now. I am actually having chemo every 20 days instead of 21. We are doing that because I'm going to New York for new year's, and I want my chemo to be as far apart from my trip and flight day as possible so I can recuperate and enjoy as much as my body allows me. If I had done every 21 days I would need to have chemo and a ten hour flight on the same day and that would simply not work… When I found out about the treatment I thought about canceling the trip, but I feel that I need to take care of my mental health the same way I care for my physical health. And seeing all of my friends going for the trip we planned for so long and staying behind (like I have already so many times) would just devastate me, so I decided to make the effort, even if I need to stay mostly in bed for the first few days. (we'll be staying for 2 and a half weeks).

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  • Astarte
    Astarte Member Posts: 45
    edited December 2014

    Janiner, I'm sorry they stuck you like a pincushion then sent you away. That had to be extremely frustrating. The emla cream really does help, you don't feel the stick at all. And in case they did not tell you, put it on one hour before your appointment and cover it so your clothes don't absorb, but your skin does. My doctors gave me these clear patches to apply my emla cream with, they work great.

    I go for my next chemo Monday. Then I will be halfway done with that part of the treatment. The past two weeks I have been feeling better and better. This week has been the best I've felt in quite a long time! I've been going to the gym as often as I can. We had the auditors here at work this week, so it made it tough, but I lifted last night and I'm going today. I've been eating well and staying active. And somehow, I still have all of my hair. No shedding, nothing. I'm grateful so far. I think I might venture out Sunday and go bowling with my husband. We've been staying inside since I had my chemo. I did all of my xmas shopping on Amazon pretty much. Are you all pretty much staying in as well?


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  • Janiner
    Janiner Member Posts: 58
    edited December 2014

    thank you all of you for your kind words, comfort, and support. I go in at 945 I will post and let you know how it goes. I iced all night and actually the swelling has gone down quite a bit and I think I can feel two of the three little  nipples they call them. today is a new day and I'm hoping for the best. However they only get a one shot chance otherwise I'm going to ER and have them do an ultrasound or sonogram or something to show them exactly where they need to put the needle.other than the first and second attempt at trying to get chemo into me I must say really the side effects have been pretty minimal for the AC. Even for the neuprigen shotsI found I only got back pain on day 9. So I'm optimistic to get the port going today chemo started and keep the ball rolling I'll be in touch once again thank you to all of you.

    Asrtarte.so glad that you are getting out of the house to go do some fun things. It is so important I know we feel like crap sometimes especially after the first you know day or two of chemo but after that we can start building your strength up and getting out there I'm hopeful that my chemo will go today as planned because next week  my whole week is full. although I am on currently disability I do have too work functions. 1 is for new pictures for our website on tuesday and I am hoping my hair hold till then. And the other is a christmas dinner thursday night. The obvious doctor's appointment. And I have a lunch with a former employer and former coworkers on wednesday. So hoping to feel better this next week and cheers to you for your strength and having fun getting out there.

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  • TallyLassie
    TallyLassie Member Posts: 56
    edited December 2014

    Janiner, I feel for you. I thought about getting a port because it seemed so much easier, but I'm going with the nurse's recommendation to keep with my "good veins". Nevertheless, last Monday, I apparently bent my hand too often because the needle left the vein and Herceptin went into my arm, swelling it up. Luckily, it was right at the end of the day so they could just take it out, but I had a big swell and bruise and it is still sore. No getting around some of this nasty stuff, it seems. I am thinking of you right now and hoping you have a better day today.

    I'm having terrible SEs again on day 4 and 5, nausea is the biggest. Dr. gave me additional steroids and Rx antacid this time and I thought they'd help, but not today. I've tried all the medications, ginger lozenges, even "seabands" but nothing seems to work. I had constipation yesterday followed by diarrhea today and I'm driving my poor husband crazy because I can't tell him how he can help me. Just totally miserable. Think I'll pop another illegal brownie later today--that does help.

    What also helps is knowing that this lasts for only a few days, and that, like many of you, I will be feeling pretty well next week. I'm totally bummed out that my next infusion is scheduled so I will feel this way on Christmas. But no little kiddies at home so I'll get through it.

    Thanks for listening, friends.

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  • WheelyGirl
    WheelyGirl Member Posts: 181
    edited December 2014

    Janier, the chemo nurse had a hard time finding the right spot on my port Wednesday as well but thankfully she only had to make one unsuccessful poke before finding the 3 nipples.  She did have to knead around a little to move it better into place which produced a little discomfort, she said they move sometimes due to swelling.  That was on Wednesday and I am able to feel the 3 knubs now so am hoping won't have the same problem on the 24th.  Good luck to you today, I am praying that things will be better for you.

    I did not sleep at all last night I think due to the steroids so this is the first day of work I have missed other than the lumpectomy and port placement days.  I did manage a catnap this morning so am getting ready to do a little work from home.  Some side effects are kicking in today, day 2 post chemo mostly stomach discomfort.  I have been drinking about 4 -5 32 oz cups of Gatorade/Water everyday to stay hydrated and that seems to be working well for me.  Went out a little with my wonderful husband after work yesterday just to get him out of the house (he's retired) did a little shopping and stopped at our favorite American Legion Post so he could have a beer (I had my first diet soda in three days - it was wonderful).  I am a little scared about getting out in public due to the potential for neutropenia but don't want to stick him in the house all of the time either.  I did not have the Neulasta shot yet I guess my blood levels didn't warrant it Wednesday, go to my Oconolgist the 10th for blood work hoping to not need one then either, it seems to cause some great discomfort, plan to take the Claritin before and after just in case.

    Good luck to you all and hope today is a good day!

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  • cc3373
    cc3373 Member Posts: 100
    edited December 2014

    Marcella,

    Yay for being almost through chemo and so glad you're feeling great!!! Will be thinking of you on Monday and Erica and Astarte too :) here's to a successful round for Monday (and all of us doing the "chemo thing" next week)!!!

    The trip sounds awesome, New York is so fun, so much to do, so much energy there :) I am sending up a little prayer for you that you feel great and have good energy for it, a great way to celebrate the last chemo :)!!!! I think it's definitely great for your healing, the whole body thing is very true and so glad you're planning to keep this fun escape with your friends, yay you and hugs :) I hope you can send us some fun pics of your adventure.

    I would love to make a trip into New York myself, MOMA has a Matisse exhibit which goes through February 8th, it's all of his cutouts he did some that are huge and will be displayed along the walls just as he had them in his hotel room (he had colon cancer back in the 1940's and they operated twice, he lived 13 more years but the operation took away his abdominal strength so he was often confined to a bed or wheelchair and could no longer paint, but continued to compose with scissors cutting into vividly gouache painted sheets). Sorry lots of words huh? But mostly I love seeing favorite artists works in person, so different from the printed page :) not sure I'll get there, we'll see ... But perhaps you've inspired me yet again my friend :)

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  • cc3373
    cc3373 Member Posts: 100
    edited December 2014

    Janiner how did it go today, you doing ok? Thinking of you :)

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