I need some help, info. (again) Thanks!

My Aunt's original diagnosis: Diagnosis: Stage 2A breast cancer, ER PR Positive, no Hercp. Sentinal lymph and axillary nymph positive, 7/11.

Modified Radical Masectomy, Chemo, stopped rad. plan til tests come back from MRI of brain/spine.


My Beloved Aunt, more like a Mom to me, was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal and Invasive Lobular breast cancer. She had a modified radical masectomy. 9/11 "hot" nodes, removed. She went through chemo., caught pneumonia, declined immune system. She's sixty. Had a full body PET scan, came back clear, ready to start radiation.

She's had some dizziness, facial ticks and headaches and bathroom #2 problems. So, she went back to the doc. Doc. calls her Saturday (!) and says that there is a nerve which runs from the top of the cervical spine to the base of the brain and her symptoms are indictative of a problem with this nerve. (possible mets.)

So, he orders a CAT scan with a STAT status, tells her they are putting radiation on hold, and brings her in for a CAT scan Monday morning.

I spoke with her again this afternoon and she really didn't want to talk, so I didn't push her, but she said that the doc. said that something showed up on the CAT scan and they are doing an MRI on her brain and upper spine tomorrow.

I desperately hope that I've been helpful to her, I grocery shop for her once a week, I paid for her to be in a "Roses of the Month" club, (her favorite flower), I call and if she wants to talk, I listen and if she doesn't feel like talking, I don't push....

I've done a little bit of internet research on this problem (what I know of it) and it doesn't look good.

I am not going to push her.

But I so desperately WANT to push her because I want to know what the he!! is going on......I can't get as many details out of her as I want. I know, it sounds so selfish but I can't stand waiting for test results and NOT knowing what is going on...and waiting for the dammmm phone to ring.

But I don't say any of this to her. I show up, I drive, I grocery shop, send flowers, listen, talk, pray and pray and pray and pray (is there a GOD??!!) I smile when she smiles, I cry when she cries....

She wanted pink baseball hat with the pink ribbon on it but we couldn't find one, I finally found one and bought it for her.

It just all seems so stupid and trivial, the gifts, the errands, the phone calls, in light of what she may be facing.....

Anyway, ladies, here is my question for you:

Where do I go from here? Obviously, these test results are not looking good or the docs. would not be taking such quick action. I can't stand the thought of my Aunt leaving this world but if it turns out that this next MRI shows that she has breast cancer mastasized into the top cervical of her spine or into the base of her brain, how can I be supportive?

I really need to know, because in a couple of days, I may be one of her three main support people so ya'll just lay it on the line to me. Give it straight to me. I will do anything to support her. Hit me with it all. I need to help and support her.

Where do I go from her for my Beloved Aunt, My Mentor, My Mom, My Best Friend?

Thanks, any input would be appreciated.