How Do I get my life back?

Parts of the old and new me would be good 😄

Both have qualities I like in myself, to much of the new me makes old friends feel lost around me.

So a balance would be good, the old me is just abit happier than the new me, hopefully both will live in harmony one day!

It has been a long year for me but I finally feel I can stop focusing on my breasts.  I have done all I need to do and will continue to take AI's for the next four years.  I appreciate each day more and no longer believe I will live forever.  I make better choices about what is important in my life.

Dear Smurf..... I am so thrilled you are going for a second interview! I would also like to say that you never know what opportunities life will bring. You will come to this job with a new perspective, and I would look at this as an opportunity to rebuild my life into something new and wonderful.

No, we don't ever get our old life back, but I don't think this is a negative. The people I know who are truly miserable are those who were unwilling/unable to change and they wonder what happened to their world. I am not talking about cancer patients here, but people I have known. Most become bitter, and life is no fun for them. They are not much fun to be around either.

It did take work, but I would say that my life is better than ever five years out from diagnosis. I have reshaped my career, and rebuilt my image which was due for an upgrade anyway. Nothing like not having any hair to get you to rethink things. I have new friends, and very rewarding work. I am able to give back through work with a brain tumor patient support organization. I just attended a major conference. A thrilling and exciting time indeed.

I also have a new love....a very interesting and younger man. So life is great in that respect as well. I am fit and healthy.

My counsel to you would be to imagine yourself in this position and the new possibilities it will bring to your life. You will interview well, and then it becomes a question of execution. A few props (makeover, some new clothes) will make a difference as well. I did the new clothes for the conference, and can't believe the difference they made. I felt truly on my game and that I was a convincing representative for my company. (I got an unbelievable sale on some serious designer duds.) A note back from one of the attendees made it clear that I hit the mark exactly.

I am expecting that your next post will be that you got the job offer, and what perks do you ask for. Good luck, and I want you to know that I am thrilled for you. Now, go knock 'em dead! - Claire

Smurf,

AWESOME to hear you got the interview! Confidence is very attractive so use that going in, but overconfidence tends to grate on people so don't be afraid of some of those inevitable nerves showing their. Be professional, but relaxed...in general be you because you sound like the kind of person people like!

You wouldn't be going all the way out there if the employer didn't already know you are qualified! Try to research and know what you would be doing and go into the interview speaking of your plans for the job as if you've already started it!

You'll be awesome!

Each of you present such motivating viewpoints! Thank you for sharing from your hearts. You will never know how many people your words have touched

"Do more of what you love. Do less of what you feel obligated to do."

Best advice of all, thanks MrsM.

Smurf....All things happen for a reason. That extra time is just what you needed.

I also find I no longer freak out about things like flight delays, traffic etc. It used to feel like the end of the world!

see...now I am the one actually laughing out loud about BOTH of your pets! Th for that! Positive energy goes a LONG way and you both just fueled mine#

I think all feelings are valid. I too wondered "what now" after my diagnosis, biopsy, and double mastectomy. Felt like I should have been grateful that I did. not have to have chemotherapy, and there was medication available to lower my risk of recurrence. But I was very angry.. Angry that I had cancer, angry that a lot of people thought I was done after the mastectomy. Also found myself crying all the time. Finally spoke with my Oncologist who put me on Effexor for the mood swings. Been on the medication for a week and it has really helped stabilize my mood.

It is ok to use medication for at least a little while. I would encourage anyone suffering mood swings after their cancer to at least consider Effexor.

My best to all in their journey through cancer.

i'm kind of amazed to hear other people expressing that they don't want the same stressful job anymore. That's me! Not that I have a choice.

I started treatment at the beginning of 2014 and have just finished. It was really important to me not to have any doctors appointments in January. My doctor even canceled one Herceptin treatment so that I could have the psychological boost from knowing that it ends with 2014.

Then after my second to last Herceptin treatment, I didn't get well. I have never felt like I've recovered from it. My oncologist was all for doing heart scans to make sure that I could take the Herceptin. But now that I'm left with possible heart problems, she will not order a heart scan! She canceled my last Herceptin treatment. I feel like I'm out of breath my heart hurts it seems really obvious to me. However, my oncologist didn't listen to me. She is making me go see my PCP to see if there could be some reason for my symptoms besides a side effect from Herceptin. That means I have to be off work to go see a doctor in January. I know this sounds crazy, but she actually seemed defensive about having caused heart damage with Herceptin treatment. Then, I have to go back to the oncologist after I see the other doctor. So far, three doctors appointments in January!

Like someone else mentioned, my support system is gone. They are all tired of cancer. All I ever hear now is that I should be back to "normal" now that my treatment is over. My boss says I shouldn't need to miss work anymore now that my treatment is over. Frankly, I'm feeling pressured to get back to normal when I really don't feel okay, and I'm back to Feeling too weak and sickly to care for myself.

http://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/magnesium-deficiency-symptoms-and-diagnosis

Many heart type symptoms can be magnesium deficiency, might be worth taking a supplement to see?

Smurff - I felt like I had shortness of breath too. About two months out I went to my PCP about it, he did a CT scan to check things out, and happened to discover that I had fluid surrounding my lungs (not in them). He surmised it was from the mastectomies and that it would resolved on its own. It did, but I was also highly anxious, and having near day long panic attacks. It was horrible. I too hope you find your calm very soon.

Anxiety is one of the after effect it seems of breast cancer. I Think I have carried a black anxiety cloud over my head for the past year, I was diagnosed on the 10th feb 2014.

I think in the last few weeks I'm starting to come through it, I'm still occasional obsessed with cancer stories in the news, survival rates and my cancer returning, but with a three year old to bring back I'm sure this is normal.

Ive grown to realise that the cancer experience has made me appreciate everyday more and life feels more richer and intense. I've made some major stands in the last few months against a situation arising at work that wasn't right, so the new me Has become bolder and less excepting of bad behavior by people around me. I started this page in October and four months Later feel brighter, thank you ladies for posting, it's wonderful to read all the stories

Runner - your thoughts are inspiring. I continue to strive to remember to take each day as a gift and not take them for granted. That is the part of my cancer experience that I don't want to forget