MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

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  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited November 2014

    Morning, Beachlady!I'm impressed, I always fell apart and started bawling right in the office/rads changing room/ waiting room, where ever!I had the same issue going to rads,only got through it with some chemical assistance.Without the Xanax I would never have gotten through rads or any of the stuff that came after.Don't be shy about asking for that or for pain meds when the skin starts burning and the boob swells up and starts hurting.

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  • Nash54
    Nash54 Member Posts: 837
    edited November 2014

    Hi and welcome Beachlady28....wish I had some advice with the rads but I did the internal rads and got thru it in a week. My anxiety did seem to increase with each trip (2xday..scan and rads). I just kept counting down the days. Sorry you are going thru this but glad you found this board. It has helped me tremendously just to talk with other women who can relate to what we are dealing with, emotionally and physically.



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  • kkuziel
    kkuziel Member Posts: 191
    edited November 2014

    Beachlady28, I had a similar experience with my rad simulation. I had the appointment set up for six weeks past my surgery, but ended up having a second surgery just three weeks prior to my simulation. I didn't want to wait and was told if I could get my arms up high enough they would do it. It was uncomfortable. Everyone was really nice, but it hurt. I was freaked out about the whole process, especially since my lung was in the path and I sing. I was assured it would be okay.

    I went to my first rad very apprehensive, took my husband along for moral support in case I lost it afterwards. I can say it was fine. Everyone knew I was scared and reassured me it would be fine. After the first one I drove myself (200 mile round trip) and was able to work full time. It became a non issue. Everyone is different, but I had few problems, some blistering at the end, but all I all fine, plus no issues with my lung and my ability to sing.

    Be sure to ask all the questions you want. All the ladies on the rad team were wonderful, actually "missed" seeing them everyday after I was done. Hopefully you have a similar experience. Best to you.

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  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited November 2014

    WHAT THE ......? ! ? ! ? !

    I am very sorry that we have an unsightly array of photos/symbolic icons up at the top now. Seems like BCO must have done another "improvement." Last time they updated, I could not center a photo for about a year. That finally got fixed, but now I have that same issue again; and don't get me started about photo sizing. I can't do that very well now either.

    Is anyone else having the same issues, or is it just me having some incompatibility? It seems much more difficult to import an image into the thread now. How can I express myself in pictures when it has turned into a chore!!! Arrrrgh!

    (So, you can tell I am really moving beyond BC when this is the big worry of the day.)


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  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 3,945
    edited November 2014

    messed up, el. I look forward to seeing what you have done at the top, and also miss it when you don't post here for long. But its not ALL about me, now is it? I know, i just find myself doing more reading than writing here, and the last time I tried to post a pic, nothing happened. But i dont see any thing at the top except for the usual little pics you have, and then the bigger one you must have changed 19 hours ago. i am going to try to post a pic, just to see what happens. hmmm, yeah, thats time running out.

    image

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  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited November 2014

    It all looks good to me Eli.

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  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited November 2014

    LAST FEMARA PILL TONIGHT!!!!!!!

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  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited November 2014

    YAY!!!! So happy for you, Eph!!

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  • mel147
    mel147 Member Posts: 479
    edited November 2014

    Congrats Eph!! That is awesome news!!!

    My news is that I am finally getting my breast prosthetics on Saturday! I had an appointment to get them in Sept, but then got sick so I have just been wearing my foam ones that came with the camisole I got when I had my surgery. I have been very comfortable in them, but am looking forward to getting the "real" fake ones. Hopefully they will have the ones I want in stock!

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  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited November 2014

    HAPPY FIRST FEMARA-FREE DAY, Eph!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [I would have posted a nice graphic, but I haven't gotten it mastered just yet.]

    ................................Help me out...What I see at the top is all the lines that the images are on are flush left (even tho' I center them in my edit box) and I see the icons as all being a bit bigger than postage stamps (which as you may remember I used to have as a tinier thumbnail icon about 1/3 the size of a postage stamp.) Also, my Cheetos ribbon will not let me center it and is all the way over to the left. Now, are all of you seeing it this bigger, left-sided way? Or does it look nice and centered the way I always had it before?.....................................

    Mel147, The day has almost arrived. I hope the new ones are comfy. They will feel different than the foam, so allow a "break in" period before judging them. Good Luck!

    Beachlady28, We are all different, but I have to say that it only took about a week for my anticipatory dread of rads to give way to the boring monotony of those daily visits. After about the fourth time I was disrobing, it just was no big thing anymore. They had some kind of robe I never bothered with. They gave me a cover up drape thing (it was a towel or pillow-case...yes, a pillow case) and I used it for their sense of modesty, not mine. Honestly, the quicker I could get topless and hop onto that table, the quicker I could get it over and done with for the day. I'll say one thing, once you can converse lying on a table with your boob(s) out, you will find chatting in any other setting to be a breeze. Are rads treating you kindly so far? If you are lucky, you will get off with a only a mild/moderate kind of sunburn, nothing that much worse than you could get at the beach, lady. (Ehehehehe.)



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  • mel147
    mel147 Member Posts: 479
    edited November 2014

    Elimar - I think the photos look good! The Energy to Heal one is left justified, but is lined up with the text so it looks good. The other pictures beginning with the Cheetos, go from left to right and look fine to me, too. Not too small at all! I haven't tried putting any pictures on so you are way ahead of me! Thanks for the warning about the "break-in" period for the prosthetics. I do have an update to share...

    New boob update - Guess what... I don't think I can get my fake boobs tomorrow after all! I called the insurance company since I had been advised to check with them regarding the number of bras and prosthetics I would be allowed. After being on the phone for over an hour, we discovered that there are no in network places that sell mastectomy products within 98 miles of me! He kept finding prosthetic places but then when either one of us called them it would turn out they didn't sell mastectomy items. I would have to pay 100% for out of network! So, now I have to call the place I want to go to and get info from them, like their Tax id #, then I have to call the insurance company back and give them the info and ask them to process them as in network instead of out of network. It could take up to 15 days to get a response. In the morning I may call the place I have the appointment with to see if they charge for the fitting and if they don't, I may still go and figure out what I want and just not buy it until I hear back from the insurance company. Not sure if they will let me do that, but I suspect they will since surely the insurance company will have to agree to process it as in network if they can't provide me with the service any other way. I've gotta go post this in "What Cheezed me off today" - it sure qualifies for that thread!! I was looking forward to my new boobs, but at least I've been fine with these foam ones so I'll be fine waiting a little longer.

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  • BookLady1
    BookLady1 Member Posts: 253
    edited November 2014


    mel147 - I am cheesed off on your behalf! Let us know when you get what you want, because you will!

    Eph - congrats! Goodbye Femara!!!

    PoppyK and Momine - ah, steroids! I have enough for all, and I sure have energy, but it is the destructive, crazy-making kind. My body needs to rest, my mind is howling, and I'm left exhausted and sniveling at the end of the day wondering what the hell happened?

    Elimar- whatever it takes, thanks for sticking with figuring out the glitches with the changes to the site! We love your art work!

    I'm hoping everyone has a peaceful weekend. I'm starting my fourth and final round of AC and Neurlasta this week, then 12 weeks of Taxol, then rads. So grateful I have y'all to guide me, and new threads to learn from. Wouldn't want to do this without you!

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  • mel147
    mel147 Member Posts: 479
    edited November 2014

    Hi, all - Bummer news...no breast prosthetics today! It's a long story what happened at the shop, but, the short version is that I didn't think any of the bras were comfortable. Even though insurance would be paying for it, I just wasn't going to buy something just because it would be free if I didn't like it. One other thing I noticed was that it seemed like there was so much space between the fake boobs in most of the bras. I don't get that since they can control that when they make the bra. I felt like it looked odd. I didn't like that the lady had to put every bra on me instead of me being able to just go around and pick out and try on whatever I wanted. That made it take longer and I almost felt obligated to buy something, but then at the last minute I just decided it was my choice and I didn't have to buy anything if I didn't want to and I asked for the paperwork and my prescription back and said I just wasn't ready. I know she was bummed after spending so much time with me, but I just couldn't do it. I spent a little time today looking online and I may go that route or I may even sew a pocket in some old bras and see how that works. I've heard Nordstroms will do that for you if you buy a regular bra from them. I'm definitely super comfortable with my $4.98 bra from Walmart and my foam boobs from my camisole I used after surgery. Who knows...maybe I will just keep those for a while longer!

    Booklady - congrats that this week is your final round of AC and Neurlasta! That is great news! I see you are from Austin...can't remember if I mentioned this yet or not but my DH was in TX a few weeks ago and came back with "Keep Austin Weird" t-shirts for my daughters. They love them!


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  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited November 2014

    Mel147--I very much doubt you are the first woman to go in for a fitting and walk out without anything, and I'm quite sure the fitter understands that.Not everyone can do the whole fitting and deciding thing in one trip.And this part is all about YOU, what YOU want and need, and if you need more time that is fine.Take it.Do some online searching, I remember finding pockets that could be sewn into bras, cammies, and swim suits.And there is nothing wrong with keeping on with what you are doing now if you want!

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  • mel147
    mel147 Member Posts: 479
    edited November 2014

    NativeMainer - thanks! I definitely will take some more time with this and am very glad I didn't buy anything yesterday! I did get a tip to add some fleece pockets to regular bras. I like that idea...the fleece would be very soft! The only thing I know I want to change from what I am doing now is that the ones I have now are fiber filled ones so sometimes I have to "fluff" them up! I want to get an actual formed foam one so I won't have to do that. Have a great day!

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  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited November 2014

    Mel, have you tried Knitted Knockers?  They are a great group that knit breasts for BC patients. And they are free. It's a volunteer group and if you can donate to help with postage, they appreciate it.  I got a pair from them and they are quite nice.  Very light and soft.  http://www.knittedknockers.org/   And if you happen to knit,, they will send you the pattern.

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  • macatacmv
    macatacmv Member Posts: 1,386
    edited November 2014

    Hey everybody, did ya miss me? I was in FL for a week. Went for a fun vacay with 2 girlfriends. Had a great relaxing time. Lots of laughing.

    eph, happy non hormone therapy daze! (or maybe days for the first time in awhile)

    mel, take your time and get what feels right for you. My insurance lets me get new bras every 6 months.

    beach lady, every day is a new adventure in this process. What feels scary and unsurmountable one day is transformed into the everyday occurrence the next. I had to be very clear with my techs about how to make me comfortable. I am on the short side and my shoulder was very sore. They tried to make it as comfortable as they could. Do you have to do 6 weeks?

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  • BookLady1
    BookLady1 Member Posts: 253
    edited November 2014



    mel147 - Austin is still weird! I was just checking out the active topic list here, and came across the topic "all things bras and prosthesis" in case you hadn't seen it. Good luck! Lind

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  • mel147
    mel147 Member Posts: 479
    edited November 2014

    Thanks, Booklady - I will check that thread out...can't remember if I have read it yet! There is so much good info on this site!

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  • Deborah2012
    Deborah2012 Member Posts: 234
    edited November 2014

    Mel147,

    I was shoving fluffies into a regular bra to try to get my MX side to match my "good girl" before reconstruction. My issue was I missed feeling naked after my MX. I didn't want to have to wear a bra to cover my "train wrecked" chest (especially immediately after my MX and then later after reconstruction having no areola/nipple). I was 56. I didn't want a tattoo either. I was sick and tired of trying to find something for we BC ladies during intimacy- or while waiting for reconstruction. . I noticed I was unconsciously covering my scar site with one hand during intimacy. So, I invented something myself. I have a patent and BCO sells it in their gift shop (not the Cure Diva shop) - see Treatment. It's a medical grade re-usable sewn lace strip with optional message ribbons (that express what we BC feel from diagnosis to post BC and helps during intimacy as well). This may help you in the interim period before you settle on something. BCO has two of my products. For those of us past mastectomies (I'm approaching 2 years out) we have encountered numerous new challenges. My invention got me through many of them and I had fun with it, too! If you go to my site via BCO, you should read the blogs and then check out the Themed Message groups. I'm in this awkward place as a breast cancer woman wanting to let you know about a newly invented item that helps us, but wanting to avoid promotion. So, I won't list my site.

    Deborah2012

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  • BookLady1
    BookLady1 Member Posts: 253
    edited November 2014


    Deborah - although I don't need your product (now, anyway), I think you are fabulous! I will send your info to everyone I know who could benefit or who has a loved one who could - unfortunately that number is too damn high. Thank you

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  • Deborah2012
    Deborah2012 Member Posts: 234
    edited November 2014

    Hello BookLady1,

    Thank you for spreading the word. Too many times unless a product is developed for the masses (no pun intended), it doesn't make it to market. Too small a niche, not broad enough- blah, blah, blah. In the mean time, those populations could be benefitting.

    I truly hope mel147 checks it out. I still wear mine today. My husband and I get a lot of laughs out of it. I write a private message on the ribbon, attach it to the lace strip and flash him my re-constructed foob. It's made us closer. I write funny things like "I just love your BBQ" and flash my foob during dinner to compliment his fantastic cooking. Kids are grown and out of house so it's relaxed. He loves it! Naturally, when I was undergoing treatment and all the lousy SE's from AI's (my onc took me off of them because I now have glaucoma, osteo problems- etc.) my ribbon messages were for myself, too. "My private badge of courage" for days when I needed that one, for him: "Not ready yet", "Under construction", and then eventually "Welcome back, enjoy your visit". At our age, I send him sweet, tender sentiments. I feel beautiful and comfortable again (in spite of all the side effects). Thank you for the encouragement. You've inspired me to compose and wear a ribbon today: "If this is Austin, she cares". Smiles to you.

    Deborah2012

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  • mel147
    mel147 Member Posts: 479
    edited November 2014

    Deborah2012 - Thank you for the info - I will definitely check it out! Have to go make dinner because I have a meeting tonight and just jumped on the site quickly, but I look forward to checking into it after that!

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  • twolumps
    twolumps Member Posts: 79
    edited November 2014

    Hi, y'all, I was wondering if there was a board for single ladies our age.  I don't have a husband, but I do have two daughters.  Wondered if there was anyone else in my situation. It kind of brings up a whole different set of anxieties to know that you are out here on a limb alone financially and emotionally kind of, too.  Not sure how I'll manage after my surgery when the girls have to go home.  Sure would be nice to know someone else has done it all before.  :)

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  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited November 2014

    Deborah2012, Thank you for realizing the fine line between just sharing and promoting your own consumer product. You already did go through the proper channels and have BCO inclusion and endorsement, so thanks for that info. and I am sure a few ladies from this thread will be by to check out your site. Kudos to you for recognizing how your own need could be useful to others. That is the best kind of entreprenurial endeavor.

    ------------------

    Seems to me that a lot of the ladies that I started out with five years ago are just like me now. Not thinking of their BC too much, forgetting the anniversary milestones of surgery and treatment. Not that we are oblivious to the realities of ongoing vigilance, but it is just not a prevailing thought anymore. So, to all just hopping on this wild ride, most of you will one day get to this point too. That is meant as encouragement. (And if you are Stage IV and reading that, don't think me an insensitive dummy, but we both know that our lives are just better if we can keep the cancer-y part to a minimum. BTW, I am happy to report that my Stage IV BFF and I don't talk too much about her BC lately and are back to our usual gab fest about other things. It's not denial; it's just embracing what we like over what we don't.)

    I missed you, mac, (even tho' I didn't realize you had gone) and I am envious of your vacay.

    Not that I think anyone remembers, but for the past two years I didn't feel like putting up a Christmas tree, but this year I am getting kind of excited to do it. That's the thing, if you don't have the energy or it feels like a chore DON"T DO IT. Most of us don't have little kids in the house, so no one is truly disappointed. The "holiday spirit" takes energy. Sometimes you have it, sometimes you don't. Nothing about the holidays should feel like drudgery so make your own assessments going into the holiday season and let your energy guide the degree of festiveness. No worries!


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  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 3,945
    edited November 2014

    Elimar! That is funny, a couple times over the last few years, I didn't do a tree, but then my manfriend whom I didn't think cared one way or another, asked last year if we were gonna have one, so we did. It just does make it seem more festive some how. So this neighbor lady had a volunteer pine tree about 8 years ago now, dug it up and was gonna throw it away, so I got it and potted it! Everyone told me it would die in a pot, but so far so good. It really resembles charlie browns. And then some years I will get a real full regular one. He draws the line at tinsel and lights though I have done so in spite of his grinchyness' wishes a couple of times. But I was in a thrift store the other day, and found a few oddball ornaments. One is this blown glass red eyed malevolent looking silver bunny with long sharp nails and a mean look on his face! Had to have it! And a handmade felt one, just the face of an elf, who is really elvey-looking! And some other choice ones. So I am going to go all out on a weird tree this year, so if any of you can find some more like that, let me know, so i can run get 'em. I did notice one year that the Homestore had some really bad looking ornaments, unhappy santas etc, I think they were crafted in pakistan, and I regret to this day that I did not purchase them. My friends that come over give more than a passing glance at my tree. I am not one of those graced with a terrific sense of good taste at all.

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  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 3,945
    edited November 2014

    Oh yeah, and Deborah? They say that where the worlds' needs and your own hearts' desire meet, well then that is where your work is. It would seem any time that that happens, that you cannot help but be sucessful, just by making others happy. Good work.

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  • LizzyinMI
    LizzyinMI Member Posts: 43
    edited November 2014

    Oh Elimar!  I don't really need to see a picture of an ice cold Michigan!  I can see it right out my window, as the wind blows and the snow falls........

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  • Deborah2012
    Deborah2012 Member Posts: 234
    edited November 2014

    Elimar,

    This time of year always has a bit of a shadow for me. Around Thanksgiving was when I was being diagnosed. Then the endless waiting for results as we all too well know messed up that holiday season. I've noticed a good thing about bureaucracy and the return to normalcy, though. Due to insurance windows and scheduling, the date for my annual mammo naturally over time just gets moved out later and later. This year it's in January. Pretty soon it'll be like rust. I won't even notice.. Gotta scoot. I'm decorating for Thanksgiving weekend that has family coming to me celebrating the following holidays- the whole shebang: Two birthdays, Hanukkah, & Christmas. We do it all in my family!

    Kathec, I had never heard that sentiment expressed that way. Quite lovely, actually. Thanks for that one.

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  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited November 2014

    Eli - I think the reason that this thread quickly became my favourite was due to the fact that there was a balance of discussion around non-cancer and cancer topics. No matter what the stage of bc or where one is along the cancer highway, it is refreshing to be able to talk with others about their children, school, work and sometimes keep the "cancer-y part to a minimum." And I know that if anything cancer-y was needed to be addressed then there would be support from middies near and far.

    As for the Christmas tree dilemma. Our home is lacking space in which to set up a tree. DH isn't crazy about a tree, but I don't mind being crowded for a little while. I love the soft glow of the lights and reminiscing when I pull out the decorations DS made when he was younger. Now DH was quite willing and ready to put up the outdoor lights last week when weather was good. Unfortunately after looking just about everywhere, I can't find them! One good reason to leave them up all year - lol.

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