Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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Thank you Teka and Sandra for the birthday wishes. I had a very quiet day at home. I spent most of it trying to order a customized case for my new iPhone 5. My laptop is totally messed up and I have no idea how to fix it. And Doug took his router with him so our wi-fi is incredibly slow. If I knew what that meant, I'd buy another router, but I have no clue what to do with it once I buy it.
Jamie and her kids came over for dinner (chili) and then we had some ice cream cake left over from Dougie's birthday sleepover Fri night.
Got some really sad news from my SIL yesterday. My cousin's daughter, mid-40's, single mom of 2 young boys has pancreatic cancer. She has been in the hospital since mid Sept. They say they can't start chemo until she can hold food down, but I remember I couldn't eat much of anything while I was on chemo. I survived on protein drinks and water. I think more likely,the Drs realize chemo would only lengthen the number of days she has left, but would make them even more awful than they already are. They say she knows she has cancer, but not pancreatic, so she believes she will get better. I think that is another reason they are talking about chemo, just to keep her hope up. I feel so bad for all of them. So wish there was something I could do to help but there is nothing but prayer.
Hope everyone's week is off to a good start. Our weather here in sunny south Florida is gorgeous. This is the weather that brings people here to live. Sunny, clear, mid-70's.
Anne
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*Good Morning*
I think the frogs are now buried in the bottom muck in our little frog pond.
Now the countdown to Thanksgiving!
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I've returned from helping Husband outdoors.
*Anne*
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Happy Birthday Anne --
I'll be back later.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Oh Anne, that's awful news. She must be pretty far along with the pancreatic cancer since she's been in the hospital for so long. Poor thing. My husband has a friend who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 18 years ago and he's still alive and kicking. He's been closer to death several times, but experimental drugs have pulled him out of it. Since it's such a deadly cancer, I'm sure his story is quite unusual though.
I would be mad if someone didn't tell me what kind of cancer I had.
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I was, like Sandra and the others so sad to read your news Anne. I never give up on anything until I'm totally forced to, but I have to admit things just don't sound too good for your relative. I find it VERY sad that she has been the sole care-giver of her two small children. Many of us had our issues ( wish everyone could be that way ) well after our children were out of the home and some of us ( didn't quite know it then ) close to the doorstep of great grand children. I just can't much imagine how it must be for those who have children that are teens or younger. Prayers -- lots and lots -- for your family member and her small children.
It is warmer here today but the wind has returned. Of course, there are a few more leaves and I am terribly busy ignoring them. I went to town to feed the feral cats and then stopped by my friend's apt. in town. They use to live out here but it finally got to them and they had to sell and move to an apt. in town. The husband has since died and several months ago my friend voluntarily gave up her driver's license. Anyway, she had some errands to do and I insisted on taking her. The wind is so strong today I thought she'd be worn out before she got back home. She hates to be a bother and so she wouldn't call --- I just have to stop in and make suggestions until she remembers what she needs to do in town. Then she lets me drive her around. She is just so sweet -- and I miss her being out here so much closer to me.
Now in truth, she was ( despite her sweetness ) probably a bad influence on me. Most of the time ( in the afternoons if I was over ) she would bring out the crackers and Pepperjack cheese and sweet red wine. Many is the times I was pretty happy by the time I got home.
Anyway, I'm on here so late today. Hope all of you have had an ok Monday. Don't forget to vote tomorrow. Talk to you later.
Blessings
Jackie
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Dear Anne, Wishing you a belated happy birthday and many, many more!
So sorry about your cousin. I have a friend my age who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that had spread to many of her organs when it was discovered in July. She is fighting it with a vengenance having a heavy duty chemo regime for a total of six months. The first scans showed that it is greatly lessening and she is hopeful that early December scans will show even more regression. She is able to handle the chemo relatively well and work part time from home as a private school librarian.
I know of someone else, also about my age, who has had pancreatic cancer for about 12 years. There is a very small percentage of pancreatic cancer that is treatable and one can live for years, so she is fortunate to have that small subset. Then, on the other hand, my mother in law was diagnosed with it at age 81 and she passed away three months later. So sad, but it is treatable for some.
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They told my Mom she would live 3 mos without chemo and a year and 3 mos with. She was 83 and elected no chemo. Sad to lose her, but I totally respected her choice. My Dad had passed a few months before, which probably figured in her decision. She told the hospice nurse that she was just going to join him.
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Wren, it probably made so much sense to your Mom. I've often heard it said that when one mate passes the other dies of a broken heart. I've never been sure about the broken heart part of it. It just didn't have the RING of right to me. I've always thought that with long time marriages ( and usually a world that has drastically changed from the world the two life partners shared together ) that the one left just doesn't want to necessarily experience the world alone. It is not comforting and has no allure.
Given long enough time they might feel a bit different -- but even my friend here ( who has her children ) doesn't always do things she could because she does not have her husband to do them for. She skips some meals which she would not do while he was alive -- though often she only nibbled -- but too often she doesn't even do that much now -- so her clothes hang off of her. Also, her mind was just sharper it seemed because she wanted to do things well so that he would not be bothered at all. Now she struggles to deal with the bills and get them paid etc.
My own mother lived for a little over two years after my Dad passed on. She did not die of a broken heart. She actually was fairly ill with C.O.P.D. while nursing Dad, but it was un-diagnosed at the time. She only lived a little less that a yr. after her diagnosis and it was a very difficult yr. for her. She was a very stoic person, but when she knew that the only way she could keep living was to be in a bi-pap mask for 24 hours a day -- she chose to have it removed and her regular oxygen mask put back. She passed away about five hours later. She knew even the heavy-duty mask could not keep her going and she saw no reason to prolong what was inevitable and so she chose to let go.
It was devastating on the one hand while making perfect sense to me on the other. So many things in my mother's life seemed very difficult to me, but she always met challenges without backing down and without complaint. It has been a long-standing family trait and so I look up to the privilege of having had this wonderful woman as my own special mother. I'm grateful everyday for her and the life lessons she taught me.
Hmm, didn't mean to jump on a soapbox again. I get on the train you know and forget to get off at the right stop.
Jackie
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A belated happy birthday to Anne!
I had a very active day today. Went to the gym and then spent the rest of the day catching up on laundry and ironing.
Tomorrow morning my mother has a dr. apptment at 10:30. Afterwards we'll go to a supermarket to buy groceries for her.
And I will vote, Jackie!
DH got the results of his liver biopsy, and he has "fatty liver." His dr. wants him to abstain from drinking alcohol for 6 wks, lose weight and exercise more. Then dh will have more blood work to see if there is any improvement. I hope that not drinking our cocktails and wine will help us both to lose some weight. We may not be as happy, though!
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Yes tomorrow is time to vote. Carole -- you will have to graduate to happy disposition pills -- even then, it is nothing like a before dinner cocktails. Well, though I don't know the calorie count ( still may be too high ) isn't Reunite a sugarless wine. I think Dh used to use it for that reason. Now he has G.E.R.D. and after a couple of days his "stomach" goes bad and the next morning is un-pleasant -- even from just a little. Like just 3 or 4 ounces.
I really didn't mind as he doesn't sleep real well and I felt the wine made that worse -- but it mainly showed up in the form or the G.E.R.D. He was in a very, very severe auto accident when he was young and for years he took lots of pain meds. After I met him I got him to wean off of them as I knew that eventually it can wreck your stomach along with other issues. He still takes Advil's and/or Aleve and then has to back off of them too.
Jackie
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Still haven't heard from Di. Can one of you in the Seattle area find out if she's ok?
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Well it is late as usual, have not been able to read all the posts yet.
We have been on the go with Kimber since school started. She is doing well and happy, has a great group of friends. Last Thursday there was a court hearing in FL. Her Father gave up his parental rights, and her Mother left the court room before she was called, so she forfitied hers. Her Father told the judge that he wanted what was best for Kimber. The pathway is open now for us to adopt her. The judge will have another hearing on Nov. 13th and sign the paperwork and then we will be contacted by the adoption worker. We will have to have yet another home study, etc, etc.
She finally said hello to her Mother on the phone last night, her Mom said I really screwed up and Kimber said yes you did. I hope down the road they can have a relationship.
DGD and DH went for eye exams today and DH has cataracts, so we will be having that done in Jan., when things at the shop slow down. DGD just had to have a new script. We have to go to El Paso on Nov. 18th for DH to see Colon Dr. for the other end. Guess we will take DGD out of school and get her script that day.
On Wed. I go for my 6 month check up with my ONC. I am going to talk to him about my cough, it is better with the singular, I am horse, I can barley sing anymore.
Everyone Take Care
Hugs
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Mommarch, glad to hear that things are going well with your DGD.
DH is off to the gym this morning. I am taking my mother to a dr. apptment and helping her with grocery shopping the first part of the day. Then I intend to vote and go to the supermarket to buy some items for us. IF I have some energy left, I had wanted to go to the driving range and try to improve my golf swing. I'm pretty discouraged about my golf game these days.
I am really tired of political ads on tv and endless phone calls from Unavailable. I don't answer them. Or sometime I press the Talk button and then the Off button. It is not looking good for my candidate, Mary Landrieu, who has worked very hard for Louisiana during her years as Senator.
Wishing everyone a good day!
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We’ve been invited to participate in this life, to be present, one to another, and that’s all that’s expected of us. Our successes may bring us personal joy, but our value as persons lies only in our being. But living fully is more than just making an appearance, here, today. It’s celebrating our oneness—our ties to one another—our need for one another’s presence to complete our own. And we can be celebrants only when we’re involved and fully focused on the experience. We capture life’s gifts, its riches, when we are intent on the moment’s fullness. We miss what we most need when our hearts and minds are distracted.
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I had my angiogram yesterday and they embolized my kidney glob of vessels. Long day, they were running 2 1/2 hours behind, so it was 8 last night before I got home. Taking it easy today, not allowed to drive. No lifting over 25 pounds for a week. Groin is a little tender where they went in with the catheter but no signs of any bleeding.
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Momarch, what a difference a few months make. The situation looked so bleak not long ago but you and your husband hung in there and now you have your granddaughter with you, she's made friends and has a happy life now, and before too long you can adopt her. That's such good news.
Don't like the cough...keep us posted.
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Carole, I think everyone is tired of all the political infighting this year. Seems so much worse than it used to be. I was always interested in politics and a major news junkie. Growing up, my family talked about current events and my husband and I carried that tradition over to our own dinner table with the children. We've had some heated political arguments, but ever since they've become adults, we tend to agree. I've volunteered for a number of candidates, block walked, and stuffed a million envelopes. I was Precinct Chairman for a long time and was even on the Executive Committee of "one of the political parties" in our large county. What a shock to see what it was REALLY like on the inside! Talk about dirty politics! It wasn't just on a county level, but went all the way up to the state senatorial level and back down into my own precinct. I escaped once I realized I was in over my head. Since then, I vote if I have a reason to. I don't believe in voting party lines or voting against a candidate. If I don't have a reason to vote FOR a particular candidate, I don't vote at all. This year I'm staying away. Next year might be different and I could be singing the praises of someone. I have a local office holder I'm keeping my eye on for the future. She would make a great mayor. The one we have now is incredibly unqualified and only has the job because our former mayor was snatched up for a national cabinet position two months ago. Good for the country...not so good for my city.
Puffin, I hope you continue taking it easy today. How cool that they can perform a procedure with minimal invasion.
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I'm a few days late, but HURRAH PUFFIN. Hope by today you are feeling great and still jumping for joy. The posts the past few days have been lots about food, and makes me want some cilantro right now. We have a Thai restaurant that is nice in our tiny town.
I'm feeling lots better and just finishing off the last of the coughing. Thanks for all the good wishes. I'm glad you enjoyed the story about hunting licenses. I'm still giggling about the weather where Blondie lives. I know it was a typo, but weather in the sexies sounded interesting. Thanks Blondie for the smile today. Hope you are smiling too.
I'm headed for a long ride caravanning behind a friend who needs to go to Mayo clinic today. (Two cars so I can go do childcare for grands Thurs and Fri.) She has an early morning appointment Wednesday to discuss results of a pathology report that suggests all kinds of possible cancer types in her salivary gland. She always says she can do this alone, but she was right along side me insisting on helping when I had appointments. If they tell her she should stay a few days I will have to leave her there alone, but I hope that just going this first appointment will make her feel loved when she is alone and worrying the next couple days. She says she's not worried, but I find her pouring over salivary gland cancer stuff on her computer lots. We all worry about different things - she is most concerned about nausea after surgery. And possible nausea from treatments later.
Sandra I'm still heading to Texas early December. I'll be in touch again at the end of the week. Maybe some Vietnamese food in Rochester MN
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Mimi, what a good friend you are! It's no wonder your friend is worried about post op nausea and vomiting. (PONV) It can make an already bad situation SO much worse. That was my big worry as well, so I understand her fear. Just in case she is open to suggestions, below is a copy of what I've posted on the September and October Surgery Sisters threads as well as the Exchange thread. What works for me came after way too much trial and error, but it has freed me from worry for the future and has worked for many others. Here it is:
"After extensive research on my part as well as two anesthesiologists who were willing to go the extra mile to research and put together a plan, I have cracked the code on a nausea-free recovery. What a blessing! Post op nausea & vomiting (PONV) has plagued me my whole life and is the thing I most fear about surgeries. I can deal with pain if I'm not ready to throw up for three solid days.
1. Before surgery, get a transdermal scopolamine patch. It goes behind your ear. By itself it might not be enough to prevent nausea after surgery but in conjunction with the other things, it's essential to the total plan.
2. Take an Emend capsule before surgery. It might make you feel a little light headed for a few minutes (did twice for me but not this last time) when it first takes effect, but that quickly straightens out. (For those who will be getting chemo, Emend is being prescribed more and more to eliminate nausea.)
3. Make sure to request TIVA - Total IV Anesthesia. It is the most import part of the plan. No gasses are used. Most general anesthesia includes several different gasses, but they are well known to cause PONV. TIVA drugs have such a short half-life, they wear off quickly, reduce post-operative nausea and vomiting (PONV), allowing shorter recovery room times, and an overall smoother and better experience (as compared to inhalation anesthetics).
4. Ask your surgeon to inject Exparel into your incisions at the end of surgery. It foams up and bathes the area in blessed pain relief for up to 96 hours and reduces the need for narcotics, which are known to cause nausea in many patients.
5. Get IV Zofran at the end of surgery and during your hospital stay on regular intervals. It does a good job of counteracting nausea. You can get tablets as well. Decadron is another drug that can help nausea.
These 5 steps are the key to success. Some hospitals use gas for general anesthesia because it is cheaper for them. Too bad...get TIVA instead and make sure your anesthesiologist is familiar with it. I will absolutely NEVER have another surgery without it. Not only did I wake up in recovery after the last two surgeries, which I never did before, but I was completely alert and didn't feel groggy at all. The nurse and I were chatting and cracking jokes. Normally I would be desperately sick and feeling drugged up for days. Another massive benefit of TIVA is that it has a short half-life, meaning it leaves your body pretty fast. I used to feel odd for 3 weeks after a surgery. Not anymore.
Some insurance companies say Exparel is too expensive. Balderdash! It costs about $300 for one vial. I would gladly pay out of pocket twice that much to get Exparel. It's just that good.
Here's a link to learn more about TIVA http://www.realself.com/article/tiva-total-iv-anesthesia-general-anesthesia-safer
Here's a brand new one about Exparel and how it reduces the need for opiate pain relief by 45%. http://www.heraldonline.com/2014/10/27/6462524/new-study-correlates-use-of-exparel.html?sp=/100/773/385/
For more on Emend http://www.emend.com/aprepitant/emend/consumer/index.xhtml
Transdermal Scopolomine Patch http://www.transdermscop.com/prescribing-information.htm"
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Puff, so glad to hear you are home and not feeling so much the worse for wear. Hoping that will continue on for you.
Mimi -- how wonderful that you are going to get to shower your friend with the encouragement of your presence. It is such a great feeling to know you are cared about. Most of us know we have people who care about us -- but it is a completely different ( treasured so much by me ) feeling when there is reason to actually display that care. It means so much and I'm sure it will to your friend. Hopefully, if any nagging doubts show up for her ( and they easily could ) she will have the thought of you and your love and care to hang onto.
Sandra -- what a wonderful thing to do -- to put that great list of steps to paper for all who could benefit. I actually identified with several things you mentioned -- but all of it was for operations I had several years before. The drugged up feeling, the not being able to get awake for weeks afterwards, some hallucinations even. Though I did not have issues with actual paid meds etc. I still dreaded that interlude of lost time while I went through an almost drugged up coma of a sorts. Very un-pleasant and I didn't even have to deal with nausea. You are a doll to write this all out.
Election day here is a gray and quite wet day. It started raining early this morning some time and for the most part hasn't quit. Sounds like it will just continue to the rest of the day. Not much for political talk here, but I will say that most of the politicians are a huge discouragement. I don't what to hear how bad the "other guy" is as I probably already know it, but I would like to hear a lot more of what you ( no matter what political persuasion you are ) intend to do to make sure we go forward in a bi-partisan way to continue creating a country we all can be proud of and that works across the boards for EVERYONE taking care of and implementing programs that will keep us all healthy, fed, with work and money in our pockets.
Sigh !!!!
Jackie
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Thanks for the birthday wishes everyone. I am not crazy, and usually kind of wary of these kinds of things, so I won't have a problem if you don't believe me, but my husband called me on the phone yesterday to wish me a Happy Birthday. I was home alone, about 11am and the house phone rang. Caller ID said Robert Bourne and the phone number listed was our house phone. Have you ever heard of a situation where a house phone could call itself?? The thing that confirmed it was him to me was the fact that the call came on the 3rd- which through all 42+ years together he thought was my birthday. FREEEAKKKYYYY!! But fun, to believe it could have been him.
Puffin- glad to hear your procedure went well
MomMom- so glad things are going well with your DGD.
Also wanted to clarify something about my cousin's daughter. She is divorced and her ex is remarried. He has been with them thru this whole process, and his new wife is 100% behind him. He told my cousin that she can put any worries she might have concerning her relationship with the 2 boys in the future to rest. He told her he believes they will need their grandparents even more than they do now, and he intends to make sure their ties stay strong. He also said whatever caused the divorce is no longer relevant. Anything he can do to help them in any way, he is ready and willing to do. His new wife has been great about bringing the boys to see Patti as often as she feels up to seeing them, but has also stepped in to keep their lives as normal as possible- keeping them involved in sports, etc. I met Patti's ex several times over the years, and thought he was a really nice guy. I have no details regarding the divorce, but it sounds like he is stepping up to the plate now and walking thru this with both Patti and her family.
I was glad to read that some of you know of people who have survived pancreatic cancer. I know the odds are not in her favor, but maybe there is a glimmer of hope? Didn't sound like it when my cousin responded to my email, but it could happen. Thank you to all of you for your compassion and understanding.
Anne
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This is so beautiful.... we have so much to be thankful for..... !
http://extras.denverpost.com/archive/captured.asp
I'll be back tomorrow!
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Anne, don't be silly, of course it was him. But then, I think you could have expected you would get my full agreement on that. Our loved ones do let us know that they are not so very far away from us. You have to know too --- that if you have ever had doubt about what happens when we have to give up our body and go to eternity -- what better way to feel comforted about the answer if someone you love is letting you know ( yes, they now have somewhat limited ways, but the ability to use those limited ways is quite strong ) that they are just fine -- and more alive in fact than they ever were while here. I was told to think of it this way --- being on Earth is a giant school for us and those who leave us have completed what they had too and gone on ahead. It brings a great deal of comfort to me to know that.
Ok -- tons more things I could say but I think I cause enough head shaking for my very deep beliefs. No one else has to see things my way and that is ok.
Heartened to hear that Patti's ex is being kind, comforting, supportive and understanding. His filling some of the gaps right now is a beautiful thing I made up my mind when I divorced that it would be a civil parting of the ways. I had no wish to get even ( for what -- something he and I did together ) nor try to demean and degrade my ex. Now that was in '74, but I've never changed my mind. If you are adult enough to marry -- I've always hoped you'd be adult enough to divorce properly too -- you were in love, and now you've fallen out of love -- over-simplification to a degree, but all can learn to ditch the regrets and bitterness and get on with life. I'm glad Patti and her ex as well as the new wife can see that none of it is so much about them as such -- it is rather about being adults and doing the right thing -- especially in view of the fact that there are little kids.
Jackie
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Good Evening!!
Husband and I dragged out to vote, then enjoyed an Election Day roast pork dinner at a local Church.
I'm always looking for a lone bird or butterfly when visiting graves of family members! I'm never disappointed.
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Lurking, had anxiety attack, never went to the shore, will next week hopefully, gd lala aka jen broke her arm wrestling with sibs, she is 2..
Mom good thing for u clapping
Anne it can happen, i believe
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My father-in-law had a couple of odd experiences after my mother-in-law died. One day he was sitting in his chair in the living room, alone in the house. He heard a noise in the tiny foyer. He got up and walked to the foyer. A book lay on the floor. It was one of my mother-in-law's favorite books. Apparently it had fallen from the bookcase in the foyer. He felt like it was a communication from his deceased wife.
I can't remember a second incident that was the same kind of thing.
We've had a gorgeous election day. The polls just closed. I had to stand in a short line when I went to vote a little past 2 pm.
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Cardiologist said I need a nuclear stress test. I told him I'm retired and don't do stress! Test is next week.
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A short nuclear stress test if me!
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Patience will see us through a troubled time, but how much easier it is to savor patience when it’s accompanied by faith. We can know and fully trust that all is well—that our lives are on course—that individual experiences are exactly what we need at this moment. However, faith makes the knowing easier and the softness of the patient heart eases us through the times of challenge and uncertainty.
unattributed
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