Starting chemo Sept 05

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  • sholroyd
    sholroyd Member Posts: 288
    edited September 2006
    Wow – I thought it would only be me ‘being silly’ as I thought. I am with you all on the fears/depression – call it what you like. I have gone back to work part-time. I feel like a spare part and a newcomer - I am used to being full-time and up with everything, plus we have had an email from the college principal – redundancy is on the cards – what a wonderfully atmosphere to go back to. I don’t worry if I will be made redundant, those things just aren’t so important anymore – I’ll deal with it if I get the push – I am concerned that I am not employable with my health record of last year? BUT like most of you, I am so scared of reoccurrence, currently I feel so tired through disturbed nights and hot flushes, tearful and so down-in-the dumps – not sure if other people, including DH know quite how I am feeling cos I am not good at talking about how I feel – I knew I could vent here though – I feel better already writing it down. I do talk to Peg sometimes (she is pinned on my wall sporting all those pink ribbons).

    I have received a ‘normal’ from a recent bone-density scan (because I am on arimidex) and am waiting the heart check results (because I am on Herceptin). I see my oncologist on 3 October – not too sure why on this occasion.

    So I am joining you to receive the kick in the youknowwhat!

    Leanne, have a wonderful, wonderful holiday.

    My thoughts are with you all in Australia and Steve’s family, although Steve Irwin touched on us all.

    Ben Joyce (young lad in motor accident) is still lying on his back – It will be a long, long job but hopefully, hopefully….

    Thoughts to you all.

    Speak soon.

    Sandra from the UK
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  • leannem
    leannem Member Posts: 137
    edited September 2006
    Hi ladies

    Just a quick hello- we finally got our internet at home (semi) sorted out and I thought I would jump on and check in on everyone!

    Also I thought I would ask for your prayers for a girl on another bc board that I am part of. Yesterday her husband was killed in a motorcycle accident. She is only 38 (I think) and her children are very young. Such an emotional time on top of bc.....

    I had my herceptin on friday and apart from what I call the "herceptin hangover" (flu type symptoms, tired) that afternoon and the next day I am feeling great now. It felt weird being there for some reason (maybe because I feel so good now??) and I really hated it. I felt awful and anxious the whole time. Also my onc is wanted to schedule my CT scan for 4.5 weeks time and I am FREAKING OUT already. I am feeling so good that I can't handle the thought of something showing up already and needing more chemo. Positive thoughts please!

    I have to dash- it is breakfast time here and I am being a lazy bones this morning and not at all organised for the day! (Or my trip that is tomorrow- yikes!)

    xoxoxooxo
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  • linny
    linny Member Posts: 204
    edited September 2006
    Quote:

    Wow – I thought it would only be me ‘being silly’ as I thought. I am with you all on the fears/depression – call it what you like. I have gone back to work part-time. I feel like a spare part and a newcomer - I am used to being full-time and up with everything, plus we have had an email from the college principal – redundancy is on the cards – what a wonderfully atmosphere to go back to. I don’t worry if I will be made redundant, those things just aren’t so important anymore – I’ll deal with it if I get the push – I am concerned that I am not employable with my health record of last year? BUT like most of you, I am so scared of reoccurrence, currently I feel so tired through disturbed nights and hot flushes, tearful and so down-in-the dumps – not sure if other people, including DH know quite how I am feeling cos I am not good at talking about how I feel – I knew I could vent here though – I feel better already writing it down. "





    Sandra, this describes my feelings exactly, I called my husband to the computer to read it, and he said to me "you could have written that". I suppose we just have to learn to live with it.

    Leann, I'm so glad you are feeling well - I also hate going to the hospital.

    I am going to New York for 10 days to see the children and grandchildren - I have been very tired (from the disturbed nights as you say Sandra) but sometimes, it frightens me to feel like this.

    Linda
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  • AussieMum
    AussieMum Member Posts: 124
    edited September 2006
    Leanne - have a fabulous holiday! Sounds like you and Scott are working things out (?) so I hope this time away is just the thing for you all. You sound very bright and up-beat. Full of energy. That's great!

    Susan - you write so eloquently. So able to express in words what some of us (i.e. me!) can't. Hope the computer systems function perfectly, and the work that is getting 'serious' also gives you pleasure and satisfaction.

    Sandra - thanks for keeping us up to date re Ben Joyce. And Sandra, you certainly aren't "being silly" - it is obviously very real - just how things are. I'm glad you feel better because 'writing it down' on this thread is just like talking to friends, who can have a greater understanding and empathy than others. Just look at Linda ! Twins!

    So, Hi to everyone else. Hope your weekend is going well. It is cold and rainy and windy here - perfect for sitting on the computer and "chatting" with my September Sisters!
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  • sholroyd
    sholroyd Member Posts: 288
    edited September 2006
    Thank you.

    Leanne - you are just wonderful - enjoy.

    My thoughts are certainly with the young girl and her family Leanne - life can really deal cruel blows.

    I watched Jane Tomlinson on the tele the other night, cycling across America - I just don't know how she does it.

    Sandra xx
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  • Liezel
    Liezel Member Posts: 192
    edited September 2006
    I went for my CT Scan yesterday. They could not do a contrasting scan, due to the fact that they could not find a vein to inject the Iodine. My veins still hard from the chemo! Anyway, they found a thickening and nodes on my left side. Looks as if it is on the stomach lining. Also something suspicious in Segment 5 of my liver. They suggested an ultra sound follow up to check on this. I am seeing a surgeon today to talk about biopsy of the nodes. If they can not do a biopsy, they want to wait another 3 months and then re-do the scan.

    Not feeling anything at the moment. On auto pilot to get this done as soon as possible. Hold thumbs....

    Liezel
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  • AussieMum
    AussieMum Member Posts: 124
    edited September 2006
    Liezel Auto pilot seems a good place to be. Don't wrestle with the wheel.
    Easier said than done, but TRY not to worry about something that hasn't happened yet.

    Hang in there
    [image]image[/image]
    Your cancer was cut out, poisoned, burned to a crisp: It must be gone. You are on herceptin. . . .
    AND you have the prayers of your September sisters.
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  • hopeful1
    hopeful1 Member Posts: 54
    edited September 2006
    Liezel - I echo AussieMom. We'll keep you on autopilot as best as we can. We have proven to be a powerful group when it comes to times like these! You are in my prayers. Hang in there.

    Susan - as I'm sure you remember - we were on the same chemo schedule. If I remember correctly – Tina (TXRED9876) started with us as well. It was bittersweet as September 7th rolled around. It has been quite a year! My next Onc. appointment is on October 19th – one year since our LAST chemo. Seems appropriate somehow.

    Leanne – it’s wonderful to see your posts. I’m so glad to hear that you are feeling great! Positive thoughts to you! My prayers are also with your friend.

    Sandra – thanks for your comments. It seems to make it easier knowing that others share my fears and thought processes with this beast. It makes me feel more normal somehow. Honestly – I too seem to be doing better since I wrote my post. Maybe verbalizing it was what I needed to do. Denial is so much easier – but obviously not the best way for me to handle my trek towards ‘moving on”.

    My thoughts are with you all as September rolls along. What a difference a year makes.
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  • foxxf
    foxxf Member Posts: 171
    edited September 2006
    Liezel - here when ever you need us, thinking of you.

    XXX
    Nicole
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  • Pegk
    Pegk Member Posts: 389
    edited September 2006
    Hi Everyone!
    My computer has been very skittish lately, but I'm going to try to get this in before it freezes.
    Leanne, I hope you're having a well deserved wonderful time!
    Liezel, Positive thoughts and good wishes are spinning towards you.

    I finally got my port taken out last Thursday. It did its job and I don't miss it a bit. I'm going for an onc appt. tomorrow.

    Don't forget we're September Soul Sister Survivors now. Thanks for being here,
    Love, Peggy
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  • sholroyd
    sholroyd Member Posts: 288
    edited September 2006
    Liezel, You are being sent the strongest vibes from the UK. Stay strong and don't jump any bridges so to speak. Feel very warm and comforted as we are all with you.

    Sandra from the UK
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  • sholroyd
    sholroyd Member Posts: 288
    edited September 2006
    I must change my piccie, anyone would think I have been having chemo or something. I am having another haircut on Friday ;-)

    Sandra from the UK
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  • tinkermax
    tinkermax Member Posts: 269
    edited September 2006
    Liezel

    Sending positive thoughts your way matey.
    I will be thinking of you.

    Hugs

    Maxine
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  • marg1
    marg1 Member Posts: 73
    edited September 2006

    I just typed the longest post in the world and I got an error message AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!

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  • marg1
    marg1 Member Posts: 73
    edited September 2006

    DAMN IT!!!!!! I DID IT AGAIN -- NOW THE LETTER IS EVEN SHORTER

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  • marg1
    marg1 Member Posts: 73
    edited September 2006
    OKAY HERE WE GO AGAIN

    Sandra -- I too am on Herceptin and Arimidex, I feel your pain. I hot flash at work like a crazy lady. Labcoat on and off, on and off, on and off etc......

    Leannem -- Good luck to you in FIJI, You deserve it.

    Michelle, Great news about Herceptin, I remember when I wanted to sneak you into the states so you could get it. I printed a PM that you sent me called "THE BIG C" some time back, Ive had it posted by my computer forever. Hope all is well my friend.

    Peggy, Love the pic of your ribbon blouse. Smiling and crying I showed it to all my family and friends. Your awesome.

    Leizel -- Praying for you. Big Hug

    Brenda -- Welcome

    Tina -- congrats on 10lbs. I too have been to the Guadalupe river -- tons of fun


    Back to work as the Director of Nurses (said I wouldnt but I did) not sure if I am sorry -- a bit stressful but excersing helps work out the stress.

    My photography business is picking up a little -- started that gig up again
    www.margaretperezphotography.com I included a breast cancer survivor gallery -- I am the only one in it for now (just start offering free pics to any survivor)

    Just got back from Disney world last month -- tons of fun as if GOD knew we were coming and deserved a great time. We never waited more than 10 min for a ride or a show, meet with 28 characters, got pics and autographs. Just Perfect!!!

    Robert is great and my girls Miranda now 9 and Maya now 6 are also great.

    My Hair -- well thats another story
    If gel it back by the end of the day I look like the "Heat Miser" from the old christmas movies.

    If I gel it down with some bangs in the front I look like one of the Beatles

    If I put my glasses on (thick black square nerdy ones) I look like Austin Powers

    Hope all is well -- better stop before I lose it all again.

    Marg
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  • Liezel
    Liezel Member Posts: 192
    edited September 2006
    Hi Everybody,

    Thank you so much for all the lovely thoughts. This must be why I took everything in my stride and not freak out completely! What a strange journey it has been.

    I saw the surgeon Tuesday morning. He felt that the nodes were too small and nothing to worry about. He then spoke to my onc. and she insisted on a biopsy. She feels I am too young and we can not afford to take a chance. He asked me to come back after my visit to the Cardiologist for my Muga (EV was 67%!!) Anyway, upon our return, he tells us he wants to do the scan at 16h00, and that I can go straight to admissions. This was at 13h00, so I went home quickly to get a book and arrange for my son to be collected by his granny. During pre-op check, they said that they'll see me the next day again, I did not really push, just thought they made a mistake and that I would be home later than evening.

    Well, when I woke up after the biopsy, I was in ICU!! They did a broncoscopy, and drained some fluid. It was complete agony. I was released from ICU at lunch time on Wednesday, and taken to the general ward in the Heart Unit, but I insisted on being released last night.

    We do not have any results yet. He did not do a biopsy of the nodes, since he said it was healthy tissue. He did drain the fluid that was around that, and sent that away. Waiting for those results now. I am very positive that things will be fine. I am still in a lot of pain, but trying to get some work done.

    Marg, ROFL, I know how you feel about your hair! I am in a love/hate relationship at the moment!

    Keep well everybody, I'll let you know as soon as I have the results.

    Liezel
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  • AussieMum
    AussieMum Member Posts: 124
    edited September 2006
    Hi Liezel,

    I've read your post a couple of times, and although I'm a bit confused about what procedures you ended up having etc, the thing that impressed me was that, despite the ICU etc, you still managed to be 'positive that things will be fine.'
    You suit your name: Liezel - dedicated and gracious
     Keep well, keep positive!
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  • AussieMum
    AussieMum Member Posts: 124
    edited September 2006
    [image]image[/image]
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  • foxxf
    foxxf Member Posts: 171
    edited September 2006
    Marg - You are so right about the hair, mine looks like a bad seventy's perm gone wrong. On some occasions I have even prefered my bald head to this un-ruley mess!

    Has anyone had their hair cut yet?
    Iv'e always had long hair (waist length) and would like it to be shoulder length again but what do I do with it in the mean time! Will have to do the round of the hair dressers geting opinions...

    Leizel - Healing (((((hugs)))) for you. Hope you feel better soon.

    Best wishes for all
    Nicole
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  • txred9876
    txred9876 Member Posts: 392
    edited September 2006
    Hello all my september sisters,

    Things have been kind of busy around here and they did another medicine change so here I am up at 4am! It sure takes time to get it all back under control. I am still having some issues with my legs being achy. I am not sure if it is still the remnants of the Taxol issues or the tamoxifen. All I know is,....it is interferring with my sleep among other things.

    I had to go for another EKG and Chest X-ray Friday and will hopefully get referred to a new cardiologist soon. I cannot wait for my health insurance to kick in in Dec so I can go back to the doctors I like and trust.

    Nicole it is interesting thought about the hair cut. I was just talking with my long time friend whom has her own hair salon. I am at the point its either.....trim it or deal with it growing out a bit more....I also have had long hair since leaving high school. During school I kept it pretty short (easier to manage).

    Liezel -- I hope you get the results back soon...waiting is so hard. I hope you feel better soon.

    I learned how to give my BF a shot this last week. He started on Enbrel (4 shots....1435.00!)and will get a shot weekly for a while. I think it was harder on him then me...LOL We sure hope it helps his back and psorisis.

    Good thoughts and prayers go out to each and everyone of you!

    Tina
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  • AussieMum
    AussieMum Member Posts: 124
    edited September 2006
    Margaret -
    It was wonderful to look at your photography site. The photographs are filled with such warmth and joy.
    Thank you for sharing them with us.
    (If I was nearby, you could have a try at photographing me - might break the camera, though! LOL! )
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  • Liezel
    Liezel Member Posts: 192
    edited September 2006
    Hi Everybody,

    Michelle, I was also not too sure about exactly what they did, but in short, they first put a camera down my trachea to look inside the left lung. Then they put a needle with a camera through my ribs to look at and drain the fluid.

    I got the results back - B9!!! They want to keep an eye on it for the next few months though!

    Nicole, I have the same problem with my hair. My onc assured me after 3 cuts it will straighten out, but no such luck. I cut mine shorther in my neck to allow the other hair to grow in. I think if my hair was a funky color, it might look better. I am going to speak to my hairdresser and see what we can do. I feel a lot younger than I look with this "perm".

    Quite busy at work. DH starting a new job in Oct, and I have to take over his business. So I am trying to catch up with that and organise my move here. Nice to be so busy again.

    Keep well everybody!

    Liezel
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  • hopeful1
    hopeful1 Member Posts: 54
    edited September 2006

    Yahoo Liezel!!!!! Thanks for sharing the great news.

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  • foxxf
    foxxf Member Posts: 171
    edited September 2006
    Liezel- congrats on the test results and hubbys new Job. I know it had been a worry for you.

    All Good
    Nicole
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  • tinkermax
    tinkermax Member Posts: 269
    edited September 2006
    Wonderful news Liezel.......woohoo

    I too have hair that seems to grow and curl in all different directions.....i had it cut again today real short and it looks much better.

    Hugs to all

    Maxine
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  • Calico
    Calico Member Posts: 1,108
    edited September 2006
    Hi Ladies,
    just checking in to say Hello.

    Liezel,
    great news!!

    Leanne,
    hope you have a blast!!

    Pegk,
    your ribbons looked beautiful, meant to comment earlier.
    Congrats on the life without a port.

    All my other September sisters, I'm glad to see you here.

    We have a bit of a family crisis, my little one (14) had on and of hip pain for 4 yrs,

    her hip bone and femur are eroded, probably by a disease called PVNS (pigmented villonodular synovitis) where the synovium, the lining between the joint bones attacks the bone. It is rare and maybe similar to osteo arthritis.
    They will do a biopsy to see if there is no malignancy.

    I am in pieces, cry a lot and try to not loose faith.

    I am begging for prayers
    God Bless
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  • Liezel
    Liezel Member Posts: 192
    edited September 2006
    Dear Calico,

    Lots of hugs to you and your family. I'll be holding you and your daughter in my prayers. What is her name? Hang in there sweetheart. I am praying for the best possible results.

    Liezel
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  • tinkermax
    tinkermax Member Posts: 269
    edited September 2006
    Prayers for you and your family Calico.

    image

    Hugs
    Maxine
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  • Calico
    Calico Member Posts: 1,108
    edited September 2006
    Thank you.
    Her name is Gina and she is 14 years old. She is such a kind girl, I love her to pieces....

    We have an appointment tomorrow (Friday) with an orthopaedic oncologist. Hopefully it is benign, I could not imagine otherwise....A biopsy will tell...

    God Bless
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