When diagnosed- did you share with family & friends?

Here's the problem. I told only a few people, my ex husband, my fiance, my family, a few friends. But then they told other people and now everyone in our small town seems to know. Everyone says "i can't believe YOU of all people have cancer!" because I'm so healthy. I'm so tired of people I haven't told trying to talk to me about it. I don't want to talk about it I just want to deal with it and I'm the only person who has to do that so just leave me alone! That's pretty much my feeling right now. I think you should be very careful who you tell. Tell them if you want them to keep it to themselves otherwise everyone will know. 

I got the call at work, phoned my husband right away.  After work, we phoned our 2 grown children and the next day I called my sister (she was responsible for telling my other siblings, but not because I asked her to.  LOL)

I told my boss when I knew that I would be out for surgery and told HR since I had to have FMLA paperwork completed.  I told the company owner when my surgery was done and I knew my stage.  Once I found out I needed chemo, I was torn about who to tell.  I  decided to tell noone while I was in treatment and believe it or not....not one person commented on my wig, except to tell me how awesome my new haircut was.  LOL  Once I finished treatment, I have felt more comfortable sharing my experience....just couldn't do it while I was in treatment.  Somehow, I felt that I needed to preserve my energy and keeping everyone updated felt like an energy zapper to me. 

Everyone has to decide how big their "circle" is and sometimes you have no choice about telling people if it is more obvious you are ill.  Whatever you decide to do will be right for you.

Best, MsP

resigned - I can so relate to your problem with the town crier spreading the news about your condition. My neighbor did the very same thing. Everyone in my cove and even X neighbors all knew. I was mad too. It wasn't her story to tell. She blabs her personal business so I guess she figures everyone else's is fair game. I don't thing for a second she meant to hurt me but she did. Ditto on people quizzing you and dispensing advice. Then there are those who avoid you because you have the plague or contagious. 

As the years have passed since my DX nearly 4 years ago I have gotten past my invasion of privacy. Lesson learned though I don't tell her anything personal. 

Diane 

I told my husband, my kids, my sisters, and my brother.  Then I started a blog, mainly as therapy for me, but the family continues to read it and share with friends.  During the middle of tests, surgery, and recovery, the blog was a great way to keep everyone informed without having to repeat myself a zillion times, and I didn't have the phone ringing night and day.  Best thing I ever did.  I still have it; don't update it as often as I use to, but it's still therapeutic.

I immediately shared iwth those who would be most scared for me: my daughter, (my husband was there during the lumpectomy so he knew before I did--the doc came and shared the results), my mom, my bro and sis. I sent out an email to very close colleagues the next morning, since they knew I was going in for the procedure and knew I was worried.  I shared with close friends as I could muster the strength, one at a time.  I did not share with everyone I knew: I didn't want them calling, emailing, asking about how I was doing as I found quickly that each time I had to answer the question I got terrified all over again.  Some colleagues never knew I went through tx, and that's the way I wanted it. It's a Need To Know situation for me.  And intensely personal.  Even some of my close friends didn't understand I didn't want to talk on the phone (because they kept wanting me to reassure them) and were upset with me.