dog diary / cat diary

dog diary---
8am- OH BOY! Doggie Breakfast, my favorite!
9am- OH BOY! a car ride, my favorite!
10am- OH BOY! A walk, my favorite!
11am- OH BOY! Another car ride, my favorite!
Noon- OH BOY! The kids are home for lunch, my favorite!
1pm- OH BOY! The yard, my favorite!
2pm- OH BOY! The mailman's stopping by, my favorite!
3pm- OH BOY! The kids are home from school, my favorite!
4pm- OH BOY! Doggie Dinner Food, my favorite!
5pm- OH BOY! Dad's home from work, my favorite!
6pm- OH BOY! Dinner scraps, my favorite!
7pm- OH BOY! Playing ball, my favorite!
8pm- OH BOY! Doggie biscuit snack, my favorite!
9pm- OH BOY! Sleeping in master's bed, my favorite!

cat's diary---

Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded- must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repress these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.
Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices, I was placed in solitary cofinement during the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of allergies. Must learn what this is and try to use it to my advantage. I am convinced that the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placementin his metal room, his safety for now is assured, but I can wait, it's only a matter of time.