October 2014 Surgery Sisters

The nurse walked.me out to the curb, where DH had pulled up the vehicle. Probably no more than 30 feet, so it was not as strenuous as it seems. I'm doing fine this AM . However, I'm only giving virtual hugs <grin>.  I hope all my surgery sisters are doing as well.

AMEN Hopeful.  I don't feel like why me.  I feel like WHY ANYONE??  This disease claimed my aunt, one of my friends at age 42, one of my friends friends at age 46, and one of my coworkers wife's just recently.   As a matter of fact, I just know one other person other than me who has it and is alive.

VIRTUALLY NO RESEARCH ON WHAT CAUSES IT.    If just 5-10% is genetic, that means 90-95% is environmental.  I'm on second primary already, don't you think i already did what I could to eliminate risk?  Organic bed without flame retardants, food grade skin products, water filter, air purifier, I waited until this year so I could get a couch without flame retardants, eating organic when I can, def for certain thin skinned fruits, like strawberries, exercise, its all bull.  Because maybe there's nothing I can do because this is due to something I was exposed to when I was young.  But like everything in this country if there's any kind of big business making money off a product or service, don't expect anyone to look too hard under the rocks.  The fact that a product doesn't need to be proven safe for humans before it is marketed, but only that it be proven UNSAFE in order to be withdrawn from the marketplace is EFFED UP ENOUGH.  We are the guinea pigs for industry.  Look at what's going on with antibiotics in animal food.  

When i was young I thought more of politicians.  Now I know they are all in someone's pocket.  And that's who runs this country.

Thank you so much for making me feel 1,000,000% better Hopeful!!  I'm so self conscious right now, and I've finally gotten to the point where I can sleep on my side.  Pre-mastectomy, he would always cuddle with me, and now she sleeps with his back to me.  I'm going to take your advice and I hope he can understand that I need to be loved on a bit!  It's very very important.  Thank you so much!  

Well, my anger hit as soon as I woke up from my BMX!  You see, I was supposed to have immediate reconstruction with an implant.  My Mx lasted 9 hours.  As soon as I opened my eyes, my dad, who is an RN with 35 years experience, wanted to know why I was not on a morphine pump.  The nurse came in with 5mg of Percocet!!  They did not seem at all concerned that I was was screaming (literally).  The next day, the incompetent nurses were not stripping and emptying my drains, even after the insistence of my husband.  Finally, dad came into the room, took one look at me, and got the blood pressure cuff himself.  My BP was 51/37!!!!  When he sit me up so I could vomit, I fainted.  I don't remember much afterwards except my left breast swelled like a cantaloupe.  They rushed me into emergency surgery and removed a liter of fluid from around my breast as well as my heart!  That surgery further mangled my poor breast.  Now I have those nasty fat rolls.  

I was not prepared AT ALL for the tissue expanders. I have a very nonchalant PS who doesn't seem to understand how uncomfortable they are, the pain, or the feeling that I have cracked a rib.  So I guess I'm just angry all around.  Sometimes I cry for no reason.  I sincerely hope this is a phase of the grieving process and that it will pass.  After all, we did lose body parts!!  Hugs to you 3littlebird and all my sisters out there!!  And I am always here to talk/vent/cry if you want. Sometimes I need it myself, and I am thankful to have found you brave, amazing ladies on this site!!!

Hi, Laurie - it wasn't me who walked out - I think it was Mefromcc? 

I walked out of my surgeon's office last week and cxld. this week's surgery the next day. 

Kristie, I don't blame you for being upset - it sounds like you've experienced more than your share of incompetence and lack of care/compassion. As to your husband - let me share something that helps us, and may work for you. We've gone through periods when we couldn't be intimate in the usual sense for a variety of reasons - broken bones, all kinds of stuff. Through that, we've always tried to maintain our physical connection. We might hold each other's hand as we drift off, reach out with our feet for the other, share a very limited massage before calling it a night, whatever. Reaching out for each other is SO important - it tells the other that you're there for them, that you want to connect with them, that you need them. Sometimes it's painful even to hug or snuggle but you (or he) can always move a foot to connect. Maybe if you try it (or reach out and touch his back, whatever) he'll start getting the message and return the favor. I know how lonely it is to be without that touch. You're going through a LOT right now - you don't need that deprivation as well. Hang in there - it WILL get better. 

I totally understand the anger. I think all of us do. It isn't a "phase" we go through. It comes back again and again as your find your way through this nightmare. Let me share a resource I found to be incredibly helpful. It's a book that I heard about here on BCO called The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee. This physician has an extraordinary way of communicating the facts and history of this disease without losing us in medical jargon. One of the reviews says:

Here's part of another review:

.Although the author does not focus only on breast cancer, he refers to it so often that this book may seem to be a 'breast cancer" book. You will learn like I did that this disease has been around for over five centuries. The ancient accounts of it are astonishing. You'll also learn what strides have been made, why more hasn't been done, and the drive and passion of the researchers to find a cure. I have recommended this book to hundreds of women and have yet to hear anyone who didn't find it, at the least, enlightening, and at the best, comforting. I know now that for cancer to occur, a thousand little seemingly insignificant events have to happen on the cellular level at precisely the same time and in exactly the correct order. The fact that we get it at all seems improbable. You will no longer search your memory banks for what you "did wrong." You will no longer be angry because you did everything "right" and still got it. (Now I know that all those "right" things I heard about are a bunch of crap.) No one knows why cancer starts and no one knows how to cure it. Stop it? Yes. Forever? Maybe. The fact is that because we've been diagnosed with cancer, even if all traces of it have been removed so it can't be detected anymore, in 30% of us, it will recur and the average life expectancy is 3 years.

 http://www.amazon.com/dp/1439170916/ref=rdr_ext_tmb

Cartini14 and NineTwelve, your bus will be here in the morning, and it's ready to kick some butt! Be well, and let us know how you're doing when you feel up to it.

On another thread a question came up about how to avoid post operative nausea & vomiting (PONV). Of course we are all different so what works for me might not work for you. Over the last 13 months, I've managed to go from puking my guts out for 3 straight days to waking up with no after affects at all. It's been a process worked out with several anesthesiologists who've cared enough to give it their attention prior to surgery and come up with a game plan.  I get a scopolamine patch behind one ear & take an Emend tablet in the pre-op area. I get some Versed as we wait to go to the OR. During surgery I have TIVA (Total IV Anesthesia) and none of the customary gases. They use propofol and remifentinil. I get Zofran at the end of surgery and it's repeated if there is a sign of nausea...but there hasn't been in the last two surgeries.  

For others who are prone to PONV, make an appointment before your surgery with someone in the anesthesia department of your hospital. Hopefully you'll find one who will be happy to work with you. 

Sandra - that is excellent advice and a very thorough treatment plan to avoid the PONV.  Thank you for sharing that!

Praying for all our surgery sisters this week!  

Kristie,

I read your posts carefully.  

You said you were supposed to wake up with 'instant implants'.  What the heck happened?  I know there are reasons why they can't do immediate implants during surgery, but don't those same reasons increase pain?

Did your dad ask them about that?

Am so sorry you had the experience, and hope today is going to be a much better day for you.

Not getting enough pain medication is archaic in our day and age.  Doctors understand SO much about pain meds know.  Good control of pain actually promotes healing. 

Kristie, take care of yourself.

Liliith, the bus made me smile!  Too funny because I could only imagine seeing it outside.  

Best to Cartini and NineTwelve today!

Stay off the internet?  Wow, not happening.  I have completely avoided the internet except for this site, and I'm addicted to being here.  I can't not check in here, it's like my peace of mind check in each hour and I don't want to miss anything.  It's so inspiring to read how everyone is doing and releives some of the fear to know others are getting through surgery and that maybe it won't be as bad as I think it will be....like mefromcc - wow, that's so cool!  I haven't asked for any happy pills yet but I'm tempted.  The stress of this is just eating me alive and meanwhile, I'm NOT eating and losing weight which I know is not a good thing.  Hugs to everyone here and thank you for being here!!

Sandra4611 gave a very informative post. You work with your health care providers to get the outcome you need. I could walk out because my anesthesiologist and I selected meds and a gas that doesn't get absorbed by the fat cells, so I was awakened in the OR after my surgery ended. I didn't have any hangover either as happened with a surgery I had 29 years ago. So I felt good enough to get up every hour to walk around the house, which my nurse friends and family say is the best thing to prevent leg blood clots and pneumonia. The only pain I have is from the Sentinel node area. Strange to have all that incision area be numb.

Hi, everybody! Thanks for the well-wishing, and Kristie - sorry about your ordeal! You are so lucky to have had advocates there with you! Fourminor - Amen to your rant.

I panicked and canceled my oophorectomy.  (Too much, too soon.) My oncologist said not to worry; we could look at it again after my next PET scan in December. Best of luck to Cartini, and a speedy recovery.

How is everyone recovering?

My biggest worry...Did any of you have this topic discussed by your surgeon?

I have a dog and he's like a 'cling-on' always by my side.  Am going to keep him in another room which will be awful but am concerned about infection after the surgery.  Did anyone have a surgeon mention pets and infection?

Our pug surfs in the ocean and paddle boards in the lake.  He literally cries like a baby and hears the paddle board being moved and he's not included.  We live across from a lake and here's a video of him on the board going around the lake.  This is what happy looks like from a surfer dogs point of view!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRDsDgZivg4

Hoping everyone is healing fine.  

I'm having the node biopsy tracer dye put in Sunday and my sister said that part hurt the most.  Anybody else feel that way?

OceanSky, the radioactive tracer injection was a stinging pinch.  I think someone else mentioned it felt like a bee sting and that's what it's like!    The blue dye was injected while I was under anesthetic .   I hope it is the same for you.