Starting Chemo in April 2014

It's Canadian Thanksgiving weekend and I needed to thank you all.  Thrown together by something terrible,  we have become friends and confidants, sharing the ups and downs of chemo.  I honestly wouldn't have made it through the hardest days without you and my keyboard is getting a shower just thinking how grateful I am to have found this place.  Some selfish part of me wants to keep you all forever,  but I know that we will all move on (maybe posting occasionally) with our lives.  We can't be stuck here forever,  and I am ecstatic that we are feeling well enough to get out again, but I won't forget what you meant to me.   So thank you! 

I am not saying goodbye though

And PS..., another thing to be thankful for today.  Remember that I cried for 3 days about not getting into that retreat that I was sure would practically fix my whole life? Well I got a phone call from the organizer.  Someone backed out and now I get to go!!  I have to keep the fact that I am in rads on the DL.  So excited  I guess if things are supposed to happen they do.  And either way lesson learned, no more 3 day pity parties allowed.   For now

Clarrn, that is a beautiful post and I share  your feelings.  And what a perfect ending.  No one knows what the future holds.  Sometimes things work out better than imaginable.,  I'm so  happy for you and it gives me hope.

Sharon, yesterday my husband and daughter said I had enough hair to go hatless so I did.  It was cold!  IMO, I still don't have enough hair in certain lights but who cares?  It's progress.  And don't we all need a trip, an indulgence, a reward after all we've been through.  Of course I feel every day there are little rewards.  The ability to clean my kitchen or do my laundry feels like a reward at this point.  But I've had two cancers in 3 years and I think it's time to live it up a bit.  No one knows what the future holds!

Clarrn,  So happy to hear about the retreat!  And I totally agree with you about this group.  It has helped me more than I can say.  

I'm happy to report that I can see hair growth now!  Eyebrows are really coming along FAST!  And yesterday I realized that my eyebrows are actually starting...yay!  Still have weird hair growth pattern on my head but at least the top no longer looks like it was waxed.

Rads are going ok.  Mostly it's a pain driving the 30  minutes there every morning and then home again.  But I have enjoyed chatting with others who are there going through the same thing.  It may be weird, but I feel more comfortable talking to other Cancer patients that are virtual strangers, than I do with some people I've known for years.

Wishing you all a peaceful evening,  lilyrose

I'm glad to see many of us are getting back to doing normal things and living our lives. I echo everyone's comments about how this board has been a godsend. I still think it would be wonderful to arrange a group get-together down the road when we've all recovered from our various treatments. I would love to give you all a hug in person. In any case, if anyone ever makes it to DC, I hope you'll let me know.

My MO gave me a presecription for Tamoxefin, now that I've recovered sufficiently from my BMX surgery. I can't seem to bring myself to start taking them. It just feels so permanent. Surgeries have a clear end state. Same thing with the chemo. But taking hormone pills for 10 years, something about that scares me. It's like a daily reminder that it could still come back. It's completely irrational, and I'm the most rational person I know!

I hadn't thought of it before but it's true, the hair on the back and sides are fine. It's just the hair on the top of my head that stands straight up .  And it feels softer, not like normal hair, more like fur.  I measured it last night and the longest hairs are 3/4 inch.  I suppose when they get long enough they will lie down at least I hope so!

You are so beautiful!  What a smile!

Timbuktu - I think we are hair twins - you described it perfectly - the top does feel like fur lol - I couldn't quite describe it and the sides and back feel like hair - it is very odd LOL.

Jamieh -you look great!!  Just beautiful!!

Mscaruso - good luck and hope you have a great exchange surgery and a quick recovery.   You will enjoy being on the squishy side of this adventure and it will give you a little more closure - at least it will put one more hurdle behind you - but I totally understand the panic - had it too about a week before mine.  Don't know why - but I think it happens to many - some have it after exchange.

Linda, you look great!  It's really growing!  

A heads up to those of us who have sparse hair on top - at CVS I picked up colored hair fibers - forgive me I forgot the name. Comes in what looks like a giant salt shaker.  Comes in several different colors.  Sprinkle on hair, rub lightly, and go!  It actually fills in nicely and makes it seem like there is a lot more hair there than really is.  Have been leaving wig at home lately after I sprinkle! It looks passable!

everforward I tried the last time to color mine blonde and it had way too many chemicals so it turned orange. If you try it yourself just make sure you have a hairdresser back up plan. 

Speaking of hair FINALLY I started to grow mine back. It's coming in like crazy including all of the places that I really don't want hair back. I will take it though because I was tired of being bald. So my hair is dark at the bottom and white on the tips which is odd looking. It's only about 1/4 of an inch but is filling in pretty good. I love listening to my kids about it.  I am now just hoping by the time we go on our cruise in Jan that I have some coverage. At least I know it will only take me a couple minutes to do my hair. . 

I also finally finish rads this week. . Now I just pray it doesn't ruin my flap from 5 years ago. 

Are you getting some snow, Cold???

Just wanted to wish everyone a happy November.  Hope everyone is out and about, feeling better every day.  And, if still in treatment, positive vibes that it's doing what it's supposed to do.

I still have little boy hair, but it's getting pretty thick (dense? - as in, not patchy, so that's progress).

Glad to see everyone doing so well.  10 weeks PFC on Tuesday.  Eyelashes and brows made their great return last week.  Lashes still not at full length but long enough for mascara and pretty thick.  Hair is filling in densely, very gray and a texture that is part Brillo pad, part puppy fuzz.

Can you believe how much better you feel now? It is amazing to me looking back over the summer.  I thought I tolerated chemo pretty well until I think about how much better I feel now vs then.  So glad to have a clearer brain again!

Now, if I could just get the tamoxifen SEs to subside and get through the next 6 weeks of rads I will be all set!

Happy November!

Mommyq, the first two weeks on Tami I really didn't notice much difference. I had some joint and muscle aches but I attributed it to chemo.  However, as the weeks have gone on the aches have persisted and have become more intense.  My lower back, legs, hips and hands mostly.  I find that exercise helps a lot even if I think I am too stiff to do them.  I went to a yoga class today.  I am not nearly as flexible or strong as I was a year ago but I could tell that I had improved from the last class I took. The stretching felt really good.

Good luck to you--wishing you no SEs!

mmtagirl: thanks for the tips regarding SEs and what helps to relieve them. I hope the SEs lessen for you over time.

Timbuktu: thanks for the tip about the heating pad for pain.

Thanks linda.  The color is very close but I think your hair is longer.  But very similar.  The sides lie flat but the top has a mind of its own.

I just got back from the onco and so far so good!  Everyone complimented me on my hairdo!  People keep telling me how great I look and I know I don't.  I don't know if they're just trying to make me feel good or if I really do look a lot better than I did a few months ago.  I sure feel better!

You have a real little swirl of hair there.  I just have a straight crew cut.  The nurse today was patting it!  lol  It still feels like fur.