Joining the ranks as well...but still scared

writesthing - You are not your mother. And it is scary as hell. I wish there was a magic wand to take away the fear.  It sounds like you are getting excellent care so far. Take things step by step. This is a great place for research amd information. Consider taking another set of ears with you to all appointments. Many ladies ask their docs for antianxiety meds if the fear gets too bad. We have all been where you are and it is terrible. I'm glad you found us. Come back often. 

I'm so sorry you got this bad news. You are at the scariest part right now...not knowing what to expect. Farmerlucy gave good advice as always. Take someone with you. Ask for medication in case you need it. It is a really anxious time.Keep coming back here. It saved me. There is great support and great information. Take care of yourself. 

Writesthings-

We're so sorry for what you're going through. The waiting is one of the hardest parts, truly. We're glad you've found us, and have joined our community, as it's full of women who've been where you are, and can offer support, guidance, and a shoulder to cry on when needed. Please let us know when you've spoken to the breast surgeon. You're in our thoughts!

The Mods

Writesthings I thought of you all day. I really hope and pray that the surgeon has some encouraging news for you tomorrow. Stay strong and try to stay positive. I'm glad you have your husband by your side to give you strenght and comfort..

((writesthings)) prayers going up! Will be thinking of you 2moro. ♥ 

something else i remembered.  I was showering and felt a lump that seemed to me to have showed up out of nowhere. it was very obvious and i hadn't noticed it the day before.  i felt it mid June and doc assessed it at 1.5 cm.  Pathology mid August post surgery showed it to be the same size.  it hadn't changed in 2 months although it was labelled grade 3.

((writesthings)) thinking of you 2day.  ♥ 

Thanks for keeping us up to date.  I've been waiting to see how it went with your surgeon.  So glad it was positive.  Stay strong and I will keep praying for you..

What state do you live in?  I have just finished
treatment for Stage 3B invasive (spread into multiple lymph nodes and every one
removed was positive) which included 20 weeks of chemo [12 weeks taxol and 8
weeks every other week of A and C], a month off to heal, surgery, a month off
to heal and daily radiation (except weekends) for 7 weeks. I discovered
it last July 4, 2013 by myself and went for a mammogram on July 6. Not
even a shadow of my 5 1/2 sonometer tumor showed on the mammogram because of
dense breasts. However, it clearly showed on the follow up ultrasound.
I just finished treatment this past May 2014.

I know you must be very frightened
as was I but the year goes by quickly in hindsight. Also, there are so many more treatments and
advances since your mother. My breast cancer
is Grade 3 (they are graded 1 – 3 for aggressiveness) ER positive. Since
I am now (late 50s) considered post menopausal, I am taking Arimidex (anti
estrogen) pill daily. However, my
oncologist also has me doing an IV infusion of Zometa 2x a year (even though I
don’t have osteoporosis) but this has been shown in clinical trials to prevent
cancer from spreading into the bones. I was devastated re losing my hair also but in
hindsight it wasn’t a problem and I was fortunate to get a wig that looks super
realistic and was comfortable. (I now
have hair but it is tight curly!!! I’m
told it will be this way for over a year and sometimes up to 18 months. I think I prefer my wig.)

I went to Dr. Jennifer
Gass, who is a FANTASTIC surgeon. Her
work is unbelievable. I also met with
Dr. Barbara Smith at MGH in Boston who was terrific and has a fantastic reputation. (I know why when I met with her.) However, I preferred to stay closer to home
in RI. (In hindsight, I’m also not sure
that my health insurance would have treated Boston as “in network” but I wasn’t
even thinking about that a year ago.) I
did tons of research and met with many doctors if you want some insights that
are now almost a year old.  I'm sending positive thoughts your way and will include you in my prayers.  You are smart to be keeping a binder.  I have a huge white 3-ring binder where I put tabs for the different types of doctors, chemo information, radiation etc.  I also got slide in pockets for it for CDs for all of my MRIs, tests, mammograms etc.  It helps to keep things organized so you feel as in control as possible during this process.  (I was so very scared and worried a year ago last Fall at this time and have found inner peace somehow through this process.  I've heard this comment from others too.) 

Your point re dense breasts
hit home. I went to the Avenues of
Healing today at the Crowne Plaza in Warwick, RI. (Loretta LaRoche was the speaker.)  Does anyone reading this have a clue who was there as an exhibitor representing BreastCancer.org?    I don’t know if you or anyone reading this was
there but the women at the exhibitor table representing BreastCancer.org should
NEVER have been allowed to represent that organization!!! (She was sitting at the
table beside Jean A.) This women was going on and on that the
new dense breast law would be rescinded and was being rescinded in other
states. This is totally and completely false. It was
briefly rescinded in California for wording and then passed using the
uniform wording that the other states now have in place. Stanford
University, Yale University and the Mayo Clinic have done extensive studies in
recent years which prove that 50% of women have dense breasts and 50% of tumors
in dense breasts do not show on mammography.
They do say though that mammograms are still needed for every women
since calcifications can still show in dense breasts that can indicate further
cancer down the road particularly in 3D mammography. (They can
potentially be a predictor of cancer and those spots are watched.)
However, women with dense breasts (BiRads 3 & 4)
additionally need whole breast ultrasound screening to rule out
tumors even if not necessarily every year. My 5 ½ sonometers tumor that
didn’t even show a shadow and yours are proof of that in addition to all of the
national studies. There are 5 FDA
approved mechanized ways for women's breast density to be determined to rule
out the subjectivity of radiologists (ie Volpara etc). There are also FDA
approved mechanized ways to do the whole breast screening. All of this is
very affordable for the hospitals when divided over the mammograms.
Furthermore it saves lives. (It
would have been SO much cheaper for me to pay for an ultrasound than the large
sum of money that the hospital billed as co-insurance on top of my $30 doctor
co-pays. I’ve been told that unless
mechanized, there will be false positives for about a year until radiologists
get the whole breast screening down pat similar to what happened in
Connecticut. CT now is extremely adept
at it but unfortunately I lived in RI. I would have LOVED to have had a false
positive 5 years ago! Let me know
if I can help.

CORRECTION:   The exhibitor who didn't know about the risks of dense breasts and therefore was saying that the laws were useless and would be repealed at Avenues of Healing was not from BreastCancer.org thankfully.  I have since found out that she represents a local RI group called the RI Breast Cancer Coalition (their url online though is breastcancerri.org).  I apparently didn't see the "ri" before .org.   She apparently has metastatic cancer herself and probably just didn't have the time to know what this is all about.  As you know with dense breasts, it's about educating women to save their lives so they don't wake up one day to find they have invasive advanced breast cancer. 

((writesthings)) with you in that place of waiting.  Best wishes! ♥