DIEP 2014

smd3 - Glad you are recovering well, congrats on the onco type score. I am 41 and had the ooph and will be going on Femera, my onc thinks that will be the one with the least SEs (for me). He gave me the prescription (which I filled) however, have not started yet, onc said I could wait until after surgery, now just wanting to feel a little better before starting somthing new. Good luck on your decision making, I am sure you will choose the best option for you.

Good luck and best wishes to all who are recovering or heading into surgery.

Hi Alll

I had my DIEP flap 2 weeks ago and now my breasts are so hard, did you have the same issue? Did it go away?

Thanks

JMB, do not worry about that scar under the breast.  Mine are almost gone already. 

jmb5, you may have already done this but I would call the surgeon's office and tell them you are very concerned. Let them know you need to know why it feels so hard. Maybe it's normal but you need to understand what it is so you can sleep at night. I do know when I complained of hard areas at my 2-week checkup he said it was caused by pressure, like from my bra or how I was sleeping, and it would go away. But he was there to feel it first-hand so it made me feel much better. Maybe if they could explain what fat necrosis feels like, we could rest easier knowing when that's not what
is causing it.
It bothers me whenever I feel that people in medicine aren't taking our concerns seriously. Maybe it's very common and simple for them but it isn't for us until we understand what's going on.

far

I wil post more info as I get it. I have an area about 1.5"x .5" x .5" that feels like concrete. Smooth and movable in the lower inner area of my left breast. I have had DIEP reconstruction on that breast about 4 months after completing radiation. I also had alloderm placed there during my mastectomy (Aug 2013). The PS says it is radiated damaged tissue. My RO says she has never seen that large an area of radiation damaged tissue. She has requested I have an ultrasound. It is tomorrow. I just had fat grafting surgery on my other breast just 1.5 weeks ago. I will let you know what I find out or hear tomorrow.

So, went to my first group therapy session.  Wow, that was tough.  It's bad enough being old like me and having f..king BC, but when there is a 32 year old girl crying because she had to have her breast and ovaries removed, will need chemo, and will never have the 3 kids she and her husband always dreamed about you want to jump up and hug her, but instead you cry with everybody else.  Or, the woman who was clean for 4 years, no node involvement and now it's in her liver.  Come on!!!!  Then there are the great stories of women who have gone through all the hard stuff and are stronger and better than before, and then there is the poor girl who just found out last week and is waiting for the other shoe to drop and you remember that fear, and you want to make it okay for her.  I am glad I went.  I will probably go back.  I made a diep friend.  She is in between stages like me.  She went to PRMA and is not happy with her result.  She might got to NOLA now for stage 2.  Ladies, it's all a crap shoot!!!! 

sky, I wasn't ready for group until now, and I am well over a year into this.  I went because it was suggested it might be good for me, and helpful to the women who are just starting their journey and need reassurance.  So, I decided to give it a shot. I felt pretty much the same as you at first, but I was surprised what I came away with. What I loved about it was that is was a "no judgment" zone.  Everybody is entitled to their own feelings about what they are going through.  Some are brave and positive, other's not so much, but they get embraced by the strong ones.  Very inspiring.

As far as the problem with the pressure when your urinate.  I always react badly to having a catheter.  I am always left with irritation, or sometimes even a bladder infection.  If your discomfort continues let your PS or PA know.  Drink as much as you can. It helps.

goldie: Hear, hear! It is indeed a crap shoot. I remember well the shocking feeling I had when I first began reading blogs and discussion threads and quickly realized there are no guarantees here. But now I find that somewhat liberating, in the sense of there being no blame game: If only I hadn't done this, or that, or had a mammogram earlier, or self-exam, or gotten this treatment or another. I haven't given up on science, so I still follow the standard recommendations, and I'm not buying burial plots yet, but I am trying to enjoy life in the present. I think I will keep attending our local support group for now. I found it very comforting to have other women around who truly understood what it feels like, and as you said, pass no judgment on each other. Also to look at each other's scars and reconstructions with no fears of someone flinching (quite the opposite: appreciative comments!). 

I've been attending a support group and have found it a big help over surgery hurdles.

Ridley, the women are constantly coming and going in the group I am in.  So, it's always evolving.  I don't think it would matter if you really wanted to go back.

Teacher, glad you found one that you like, also.  Do you have a moderator who kind of keeps thing moving, and controlled?  We do, and I found her a little intrusive sometimes, but other than that I really enjoyed it. I do think there needs to be some boundries and trying not to talk over each other is important too.

Yes, we have a good facilitator. She is not intrusive and is a good listener, too. She lets us talk and share. She asks occasional questions to help us delve a bit deeper, helps us move along and asks if those quiet that night have something to say or any questions, and she tells us about other programs as needed. Our group has changed somewhat but I've found something helpful each month I've gone since July.

Debiann,

Are u in compressions for breast and abs?  I'm excited to hear that you are doing well after 2weeks.  That gives me some hope. The one drain left, is it in your breast or tummy?

What size was your PS aiming for?

debiann,

Hang in there. Two weeks and it seems you are fairing well.  FABULOUS!!!!!

so. For girls with recent surgery... I am almost 5 weeks out and physically feeling so much better.  The constant feeling of underarm razor burn is gone.   The swelling in the breast is all gone ( my one time solid c's is now a b if I'm lucky) and the tummy swelling is reducing by micro inches.   But I do feel like it is going down.  Finally felt like I could put on a pair of form fitting jeans Friday night.   Not that I didn't want to run for my sweat pants at the end of the night.  Lol.   So, it does get better... Especially when you don't expect it.... And you realize you are looking forward to the next stAge and fixing those imperfections you see...

I have been thinking back to a discussion some were having a bit ago.... Scars.  The lovely smiley face some of us have come to hate and the scars under the breast we are anxious and hoping will go away over time.  I realized during my recovery... This was probably my biggest issue to bear.   Worried about how others saw me.... Mostly men... But in general.  Anyone.  With my scars defining that something changed with my body and I have/had cancer.   It was the one thought that continued to throw me off and make me question who I was and my sexuality... Defining my womanhood.  I realize that many of us might have bigger questions... But for those who might also be throwing these ideas back and forth in silence... I would like to share a thought I have come to consider...

Most men... Never consider scars and surgeries.   They wear them either like a badge of honor or just never consider them.   But many women.. Consider them negative.. A flaw.   I had the pleasure of hanging with a dozen or so of my male friends and their friends and talked about this topic...  I had thought myself a pretty free thinking woman prior to BC (once they told me I was losing my breasts... I suddenly realized how much I thought they represented my sexuality/ my womanhood)...  I thought I would be seen as different, a freak... If I didn't look normal.. Had scars... Was not in my original form....  I thought the DIEP would get me closer to this (even though I knew implants would mean less surgery and less scaring)....   What these men showed me was that I had it all wrong in my mind.  We are defined by our actions, our personalities, our strength in dealing with this... And those "scars".. Are just our battle scars in overcoming hurdles and being strong, independent and dare I say.. Sexy women.  

I know that all of us may not be worrying about the physical appearance after surgery.... But this was one of the reasons that I chose a diep... Closer to real..????   And I thought maybe someone else might have had the same thoughts or struggled with this.  I found it so ironic that I had placed so much on what people (mostly men) might think of me physically after surgery and BC... That I never considered they would not really care.. It's the person and their mental state that they consider first and foremost....  That a husband would only overlook the issue because they love us... But I think the reality is that unless your in your teens and early 20's... Appearance of perfection is mostly in a women's mind and not usually in a mans....   I'm working towards achieving that mind set and feeling a bit more comfortable with who I am today, post BC and surgery... And looking forward to the day.. When dare I say... It is just a battle scar that defined me and made me who I am today.. And I am not constantly looking over my shoulder carrying that with me...

Anyways, just thinking out loud